For all dream enthusiasts, you're going to want/must to read

For all dream enthusiasts, you’re going to want/must to read…

In a previous post, “Wife is evil in my dreams…very un-nerving”, I described a reoccurring nightmare/night terrors or similar dreams I’ve been having. I also provided much personal information as insight to others that may be going through what I have been. In a nutshell, it seams I have been suffering from Acute/Chronic/Delayed Onset Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), according to my physiologist, due to many childhood issues that I have regressed and have push deep into my sole until 4 months ago. The PTSD finally came to life by the actions of my wife caused by a manic episode due to a bad reaction to improperly prescribed medication and acute depression. Her manic faze caused her to be destructive and had a physical affair for 3 days and ended up caught by the police trying to commit suicide. Leaving me devastated and suffering from PTSD caused by the affair, the Chronic Delayed PTSD came to life and, if you will, merged together is causing a serious reaction with devastating effects. With that being said, I have been afraid to fall asleep and have not slept much in 4 months due to these night terrors. I believe my body and mind are trying to help me cope and realize things by conjuring up such demoralizing night terrors. I am interpreting this dream at the end and would like to share my store with all of you for whatever reason??? But mainly to help those who may be suffering as much as I and have been as frightened and overwhelmed by such terrors at night. I do find the details of this night terror/nightmare to be rather frightening and unsetting but here goes:

Tonight I finally fell asleep at 2:30 AM. This dream occurred at 3:30 AM. In this dream, my wife was very supporting and was continually trying to find ways to help me while I was going though PTSD because she feels responsible based upon her manic episode. She thought I hated my children and didn’t like to spend time with them. She loved the kids so much but was torn with my suffering from PTSD along with the way I was treating them. So she decided to have our children cloned, as couldn’t bear to be without them and to help me through my PTSD by relieving the strain, except removing the every day childhood behaviors that could cause strain on parents from their DNA (like yelling, fighting, etc.). When returning home I noticed the kids were different and asked my wife what she did with them. She told me and I decided I wanted our real children back. So we reported them missing. The police returned without any luck. We then started a search party. When searching the river, I ended up finding my 2 year old daughters dress. I then became frightened for the worst. Asking my wife what she did, she told me that she left our 2 year old on the beach playing and my 11 yr old daughter and 6 year old son playing in the water. She wanted another family to find them so they could take care and love them until I was ready to take them home again. Thoughts and images of my children in the water started racing through my head (I really don’t want to describe the images as they are too painful and don’t want to think about it right now…but you can use your imagination). Finally, holding and looking down at my baby’s dress I realized how much I have missed them, loved them and wanted them back to nurture them. I also felt scared and sad of what might have happened and what pain they might have gone through. Finally, I woke up feeling as I did in the end of the dream and currently still do.

In real life, while suffering from PTSD along with my childhood upbringing, I have distanced myself from my children. This is obviously causing negative effects on my children and leaving my wife saddened by what I am going through and treating the children this way. Again, my wife doesn’t truly understand my reactions (who could) but is supportive in finding myself again. Although, she is beginning to understand my fears of getting close to my children, as a result of my relationship with my parents, she is hurt and feels responsible for my reactions. For the past 4 months I haven’t been able to find the love for my children whereas prior to, I was very caring and sensitive towards my children and protected them. This dream is a way that my body and sole is acting upon what I am currently going through; helping me to find the love I have for my children. I am 32, have been a very strong and intelligent individual but this dream left me sobbing with the realization, finally after 4 months, of how much I miss and love my children. So all in all, I think sometimes dreams, regardless of how fearful and devastating they might be are your body, mind and sole, helping you to cope and heal from your pain and suffering of day to day life situations.

Please feel free to add your comments, thoughts or controversial information.

Regards to all and hopefully some day this can help someone in need that may be going through such a traumatic experience.

Thank you for reading.

That is a lot to say. Dreams do seem to become a stress coping method. Maybe your wife is a symbol of someone that has survived hard times, and the negativity you recieve is a self loathing. (You have a level of control/input for your symbols/dreams.) You have two options: accept things are they are (good and bad) or try to change all the things your don't like. Escape is never an option, as the negativity is attached to your person. Wherever you go, there you are. Some people attempt to escape into their dreams, but you will have to be awake at some point. That's why people that hate their life sleep as much as possible. It is avoidance.

I'm glad to hear that you are somewhat getting better, and that your wife seems to have a loving supportive side. I had no idea you have children, I hope your relationship with your family gets better and back to normal.

I'm glad to hear that your dream had a positive effect on you regarding your family. It sounds like you all have a lot of healing to do.

I'm all for trying to make marriages work and working through problems, but I'm sorry to say that if my spouse EVER cheated on me (I don't care if it was one time or a hundred times), I would never be able to forgive and forget. In my opinion, if you love the person you're with, I don't care how much medication you've mixed or how psychotic you are, you would NEVER hurt them like that. That's a deal-breaker.

However, I recognize that all relationships are different and some people are able to work through those types of problems (I have family memebers who have), but personally, if my spouse cheated on me, I would never be able to trust them again - no matter what - and I wouldn't be able to salvage the relationship after that. It's just a matter of trust with me, I guess.

So, that's my two cents - maybe I'm just old-fashioned when it comes to monogamy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should divorce your wife - I just think she's damn lucky that you forgave her, no matter what the excuses for the cheating was.

But I'm glad to hear that you are in the process of working everything out with your family.

Good luck with everything. :)