Ex-girlfriend, death, and angel...

Let me start of by saying, HELLO! I am new here, as you can well imagine! I've been having very strange dreams, very frequently lately... and one in particular has really made me wonder "Why?"

First I must start with a little filling story. To understand what I'm thinking of in the dream, you need to know what transpired in my past.

OK, I am only a measly Sophomore in High School. I however feel as though I am a more matured person... someone who feels so much more adult than the other kids. I know I am not one by any stretch of the imagination, but I just can't shake my 'maturity'. I am 16 years old. Of course... High School students get girlfriends from time to time right? I'm no different. I've had some here and there... nothing more than a girl to kiss and hold hands with most of the time though! I've never felt emotionally connected to a girl... save one.

In my freshman year, a girl moved to our school from a town pretty far away, (same state) and her mother worked with my mother. I was the first person she be-friended here, and we hit it off instantly. Come a few months into High School... those little 'crushy' feelings set in for both of us. We do the little "I like you, do you like me" dance for a while until we finally end up together. It was great... we were amazing. I'd had 'girlfriends' prior to her and girlfriends after her, and still... none compare to this one.

We stay together for a good... 6 months. We finally break it off... and I'm heart-broken. I was devastated. It wasn't mutual, as it was her idea. She said she never knew why she felt she had to do it... and to this day still says the same to everyone. We end up becoming 'enemies' so to speak, due to the confrontational feelings between us now, and don't talk for a good long time.

Skip to summer... the house next to us had been emptied. Goodbye old neighbors, hello new neighbors! Guess who. THE EX-GIRLFRIEND! I am completely thrown for a loop by this, and am utterly P-O'd!

However, we somehow end up becoming amazing friends once again. We're to the point where everyone jokes about us being meant-to-be... even our parents! We're always at one another's house, and we're always 'flirting'. I still feel those old connection feelings with her. I don't know if she does, but I do. I can't get rid of them. I've tried to by dating other girls, but it doesn't work. My thoughts always dwell on her. It's as if God is saying "DON'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!"

OK... that is enough, now for my dream.

I'm at a mexican rodeo. I am, however, in my normal, everyday clothes. Nothing western, and nothing Spanish. I'm riding on horse-back straight towards a huge black bull. As my horse comes up beside the bull, the bull kicks out and connects with the horses left side. The horse goes down and I go rolling. I feel as if I've just broken every bone in my body. I look up, and the bull is charging for me. I look around for the rodeo clowns, or matadors, whatever... but there are none. So the bull tramples me. I am hurt more and know I am going to die. I can feel it. I'm on my stomach, with my head resting on my arms. I can hear the beating hooves once more, and I look to my left, slowly. I see the bull charging, nostrils flaring, and eyes burning. This image I remember DISTINCTLY. It was horrifying. He reaches me, and stomps on me for the last time. I don't feel the hooves on me, but I feel a sudden, SHARP jab in my chest. My fear was highly elevated at the time, and my heart rate was amazingly fast. As the sharp pain is induced, I feel my heart stop. I can't hear the beating in my ears, and I can't feel it in my chest.

It now switches to slow-motion. My head jerks up and my eyes pop open in pain. I try to yell, but nothing comes out. My hair falls into my face and everything slowly becomes dark. Blood is in my throat and my life slips away. (I think it should be noted, that this is the first time I have ever felt my own death in a dream. Usually I wake up just before I 'die'. Totally new experience)

Slow-motion still going on at this point. It's all dark, I hear nothing, but I feel as if I am rotating very, very slowly. I look up, opening my eyes. A sudden blinding light hits me and I recoil. My eyes adjust and a figure is surrounded by the light. It approaches and I hear a voice. A feminine, and soft voice. She asks "So you've decided to come to me?" and I reply with "Yes. I'm back..." The figure is now revealed as my ex-girlfriend. The one whom I have already described. I smile a big smile, and she reaches her hand down to me. I take it, and she pulls me to my feet. I look at my clothes, expecting them to be dirty, bloody and torn, but I'm wearing a white robe, and a white hood. She gently kisses me and takes my hand. A door appears in the light behind her. We walk through, and as we do, she whispers, "It's only a matter of time". I let go of her hand, look at her, go in to kiss her again, and I wake up.

I woke up a little sweaty. I just layed there and thought about it for a while. I've never had a dream like this. Never had a death dream (like this), never had a dream about Megan (in a 'get back together, love' kind of way) and have never gone to Heaven in a dream. I've never given much thought on my dreams until now. Can anyone help?

Hi, first of all you are a good writer for someone that young. I bet you get good grades in English.
Strangely my first thought is that we are all just living our lives the first time and making mistakes. But whatever.
No doubt now is a highly critical time in your affair. Your strong feelings for her are to either grow or die and I guess you need to know whether or not she is willing to be more than friends now or not.

As for your dream I would piece it together one detail at a time...
The rodeo: a need to control your animal urges
The horse: motivational drive (what color was the horse?)
The bull: stubbornness, strong will, strength, repressed sexual energy

Clearly here you are just trying to not be in love with her by fighting the bull. But it's hopeless, the bull downs you from your horse and kills you!

Death: change
The bull swaying his hips around defecating on you: A very low self image underneath all the "bull" and nonsense
White Light: goodness
Real person in your dream: the relationship or the character qualities
Door: new opportunities or new stage in life

Here you see her image, but it doesn't exactly represent her but your relationship with her. You have idealized her. You "came back to her" meaning that you fell in love with her again, and it feels like heaven.

It's pretty obvious, you're falling in love with her. The question is whether or not she will fall in love with you. There is one part of the story I still have a problem with, what are the odds of your most important exgirlfriend becoming your new neighbor? Her mother chose it, it must be either because of you or her friendship with your mother. If because of you then it's a good guess that you have her on your side as a source of help.

Thank you! Eh... my grades could be considerably better if we could actually write stories, poems, essays, etc. We just seem to read Shakespeare (not that Shakespeare is bad) and analyze who and what a character is...

OK, I'll analyze more of what you analyzed with my opinions, views, and how it does relate to me.

The Rodeo: Now that I think about it, I have felt... 'animal urges' lately. I've been feeling a little more irritable, and aggressive over the last month or two. I'm a very passive-aggressive person, but I feel as if my aggressive, 'dark' side is coming out. I snap at people a lot, a good deal of people at my school rub me the wrong way a lot .(not that they're intentionally doing it, it's just the subtle things they do...)
The Horse: Motivational Drive... hmm... not really sure where to place this piece of the puzzle. Would it have to do with school, other activities, or even my exgirlfriend? The horse was dark brown by the way. I was riding it without a saddle.
The Bull: Stubborness and strong will... definitely. I am an avid actor and musician and I seem to NEVER be satisfied with my work. I never feel as if I have reached the breaking point of a character, or my ability on the bass guitar. I NEVER let myself get worse if at all possible. Strength. Yes, I do have an inner strength that drives me. I guess this could go with the horse... not sure. Repessed Sexual Energy? Well I'm 16 so yes, I do agree! I however am, and plan to stay a virgin until marriage, and sex isn't really what is on my mind with the exgirlfriend. It's just the togetherness.

I don't think I ever mentioned the bull defecating on me... if I did it was by mistake. The bull never did that, nor did he sway his hips at me.

You think as I did. What ARE the odds of THIS PERSON moving in next door to me? I believe her mother chose this place MAINLY to get closer to work, and her children closer to school. They were still living in the town pretty far away from here. ANother reason is because our families are so close, yes. Now even closer since Megan and I can be together in the same room now! :-P Her parents jokingly refer to me as their son-in-law now.

Well that's all I have to comment on right now. Everything else is pretty easy to understand. Thanks for the help. This dream just felt so real to me.

Adolescence is always turbulent and always will be. It's not because of her, it's the way it is. You might have a myth that now is the best part of life, but young adulthood is MUCH better. That's when you got your act together. It's not that bad in the 30's either. Adults are more sedate because we don't need excitement to feel alive.

I think the falling off the horse is the losing of control. And the lack of a saddle may be a lack of money or power. The black dark brown color may be a mental persuit and the unknown. I think the bull is your feelings for the girl.

Of course you mentioned the bull swaying his hips defecating on you! Don't you remember? You don't think I would just make up some BS do you???
:shock:

Wow, a sixteen year old kid having a Death Dream in which he survives into a dream resurrection. Usually this doesn't occur until about 24. Or maybe you won't understand the significance until you are 24, but I shall give you a hint. Knowing that you survive Death in your dreams should make you something of an Immortal Dream God in your own dreams. Knowing you can't really be killed should go along way toward boosting your courage and bravery.

Now, this girl. first off, all indications are that she will be a very good friend of yours, perhaps for your entire life. Don't necessarily confuse this with 'relationship'.

All the Goodness and Light that you experienced as you came back to Life in your Dream, in conjunction with her Character... it is all quite positive, as you surely have guessed. It is certain that your Higher Dream Mind quite approves the innate quality of this young lady.