Thread: New Husband Dies in dream, but comes back to life...?

Wow - that's a very unnerving dream! I understand why you feel so strongly about it.

I don't pretend to have any expertise on interpreting dreams, but I felt like commenting anyway.

It's normal for you to worry about your husband while he's gone, especially in his profession. My guess is that your anxiety is following you into the dream world, and you are preparing yourself for the worst. Other than doing positive visualizations before falling asleep, I don't know of another way to relieve your anxiety other than to know whatever will happen, will happen, and you have no control over it. Instead of dreading the worst case scenario, pay special attention to every moment you spend together and be happy in that moment.

Try not to dwell on the dream. Write it in your dream journal and leave it there.

As funny as this may sound, I've never been able to keep a dream journal. I have had multiple lucid dreams: one incredible one that comes to mind is when a friend of mine committed suicide, the night I found out she came to me and revealed information that I later learned to be true. For some reason, I fear the notion of dreaming deep inside my psyche, and perhaps I feel that if I write them down, it will solidify my fears.
In my profession (I am a clinical social worker) I hear clients speak about dreams quite frequently...yet, when it comes to addressing my own dreams, I remain fearful.

I shared the dream with my husband tonight and he interpreted it to mean that I think that he is out of shape and could not "save" me if he had to. I reassured him I thought nothing of the sort. Yet, still after thinking all day, I have no real interpretation... therefore, tonight before I sleep, I will at least try some free association writing.

I think I'll come around if I am persistent enough.
Can anyone relate?

Originally posted by kjl1976
I was married last month to a wonderful man who is a police officer. We are very happy. But I had a very disturbing dream last night and I can’t stop thinking about it. Normally, I would sit down and try and interpret this myself, however, I've had a knot in my throat all day, and can't even begin to think about sleep tonight until I understand this. Here it goes.
“My husband and I were going somewhere and all of the sudden, someone came to attack us. My husband reached for his gun. The next thing I knew we were in some type of medical examination room, and my head hurt real bad. I was being prepped for surgery. I looked over at the other stretcher and my husband was there, but I realized that he was dead. Then, a nurse explained to me that the bullet had only grazed me, but killed my husband. I never had the surgical procedure because I couldn’t calm down. Later, after I left the hospital, I went through the motions of crying, and telling family. I even planned the funeral, and remember my in laws being there. I was very nervous in the dream, about the fact that I was not going to be able to keep the house up on my salary alone, and that I knew that I had to sell my car.
Suddenly, I’m in a room talking to two people. My phone keeps ringing and people are calling to offer me their condolences. Then all of the sudden, I look up and my husband is there. He appears transparent, and we begin talking. He tells me that our love is strong and that we are still married and that everything will be okay. Suddenly, someone hands me a picture, and I realize that he is just a blur of color. I ask the people I was chatting with if they can see him, and they confront me and tell me that no one is present.” I can't remember anything afterwards, except, I awoke terrified and called my husband, who works midnights to make sure that he was okay. (He was).
Please help on this one.

First, I want to say that I can understand, at least a little, where that fear comes from. My father was a police officer for 15 years. We were lucky to live in a quiet place and I was still very young when he retired from the force, but the worries are always there.

My first interpretation would be similar to Burns’ so I won’t go into too much detail about it because she said it very well.

My second interpretation is a little more abstract and a bit spiritual. I’m going to go with what I feel here, so forgive me if I start sounding a little weird. I believe that death doesn’t always mean death. Death always represents the ending of something and the beginning of something else. It’s a transition of phases (life to death to rebirth, in a sense). Like your transition from boyfriend and girlfriend (‘death’ of that phase of your lives) to husband and wife (‘rebirth’ of a new phase of your lives). Does that make sense?

Ok, onto the dream now... Someone attacked you. That suggests that whatever happened, whatever big change occurred to trigger the ‘death’, was out of your control. You woke up suddenly with a headache. I think that means that it happened very quickly. The fact that only you can see your husband might mean that whatever issue that’s in ‘rebirth’ right now is a personal one between you and him. If this is the case, I wouldn’t allow outsiders (i.e. the phone calls) to meddle or try to persuade you. It seems like you thought things were going to go badly because of this event, but judging by the ending of the dream, I think that it was a sudden, perhaps surprising change, but ultimately things will go just fine.

I hope that helped and didn't sound too weird.

Wow, I can really get what you wrote, thanks.
I had actually thought about something like that, but I figured that the "real" meaning probably needed to be more sinister... Funny thing is, I can almost pinpoint what the "secret" even was that he and I kept between ourselves.
Onwards.
Here's a question... I know that there is talk on here about how to train yourself to experience lucid dreams at will, but is there a way to train yourself to remember nonlucid dreams as well?
I know that I dream 2 or 3x a night, but very rarely do I recall them in the a.m.
I usually just remember the really horrific ones.

I'd love to hear your thoughs.

I know you said that you've never been able to keep a dream journal, but that really is the best (and most effective) way to improve your general dream recall. Here's a dream recall tutorial, if you're interested.

Personally, once I started my dream journal about 3 years ago, my mind just became more aware of my dreams because I knew I would be writing them down later. It's sort of like conditioning your mind to do certain things, or the concept of suggestion, I guess.

Anyway, try it again and make a good honest effort. Let us know if you run into any problems. Good luck!