Long time Lurker, first time poster.

I've been reading this forum for awhile, anything I could do without a username and password I did, but this is my first time posting. I've seen a lot of good interpretations here and I'll explain my current situation and the dreams I've been having.

I'm a 19-year-old poet and short-fiction author, I'm also a multi-musician and live at home with my mother. I recently got kicked out of school because of grades that weren't up to par with my university's standards. I'm very laid back and some would say whimsical in my attitude towards "important" things.

I'm very interested in philosophy, dream interpretation, and the paranormal. Anything regarding near-death experiences, UFO's, mythical beasts, and mythology in general I eat up as fast as I can. I'm by no means a Jungian, but I consider his theories to be fascinating and the dreams which he talked about to be interested. I don't want to say I find parallels between my dreams and his, just that there are certain similarities that I think could mean something.

With that out of the way, it might provide a little context to my dreams.

In particular, I'd like this dream, or "vision" I had last night to be interpretted by some one else, it's very early in the morning and I haven't yet had the peace of mind to sit and think about it myself, so before I do and get my own interpretation, I'd like to know what some one else thinks. I think this multi-faceted view of my dream might give me some sort of insight or starting point of where to go.

Anyway, here goes, sorry for the lengthy introduction:

At first I find my self sitting at the top of a hill, I hear sitar and other native instruments playing as well as birds making their usual tweet-tweet throat cries. They seem to calm themselves and quiet down a bit when the sound of drums starts. The drums, as far as I can tell, sound like darbukas or some similar native drums, I pick up on the lack of cymbals and this is what causes me to become aware in the dream. (The oddest things make me become aware that I am dreaming) I did not hold on to this thought and quickly forgot that I was in a dream, but things progressed with my fully conscious of my surroundings in this dream-world. I saw hills with stone fences rolling forward, and I was at the top of the biggest hill, which I thought at this time must be an impressive mound which was reserved for special guests. I was happy and at peace with my surroundings and started moving slowly to the music. It was about this time that I noticed I couldn't feel the hill beneath me and began to panic a little bit.

I tried to open my mouth, but no words could escape my throat, and instead a bird flew in to my mouth. This is a type of bird I've seen in a lot of my dreams, a white bird with a long black tail (These birds seem to tie together my dreams that might be very important). At the time of the bird's head hitting my mouth, my vision switched to that of the view of the bird.

I saw the bird flying in to utterblackness, and after being here for a few seconds I was moved in to a magnificent room. The dimly lit room was unrecognizable as magnificent until I was standing up and felt as though a human again, a small hole in the ceiling acted as the only source of light and when I stood up from my bird-form, I rubbed my eyes. After getting lost for a few moments in a keleidoscope of geometric patterns, I opened my eyes again to a wonderfully decorated black onyx and gold decorated room. The floor was plain stone, but very warm instead of being cold like most stone floors, the walls were stones and where mortar was between them, it had been plated (or painted) with gold. I marvelled at this for a few moments then turned around to take more of the room in.

There in the middle of the room sitting on the floor was a grand throne with some sort of being sitting in it. I thought at first that this being might be a giant Buddha (once again, I'm interested in Eastern religion intensely), but it was not. It was some sort of figure who was huge, it was at this time that I felt I might still be a bird because of the size of this being. The creature seemed to be of a black shiny material, like the black onyx I mentioned earlier. HOwever, it had a life flowing through it. it said nothing and just smiled at me, I wasn't afraid, although I recognized that I should've been given the sheer size of this behemoth who was smiling at me with gold lips and staring at me with eyes blacker than black, as if holes in the universe. The lips moved from a closed mouth smile to an open, and when they slightly parted the mouth was another hole in to something I can not explain. The black was so vivid, so dark, so darker than dark that I felt the very core of the giant man was nothingness itself. I saw the amazing thing lurch forward and grab my whole body, I still was unafraid as the hold was gentle but all-engrossing. His hands, too, were made of some sort of gold . My head, poking out of the hand, was being brought closer to this huge being's face, and upon reaching his slightly opened smiling mouth, I tried to peer in to the blackness that so consumed his insides. I knew I was about to be eaten, but I still did not fear.

Then I woke up.

Any ideas?

I should probably also point out that lately I've been very depressed and have been thinking about suicide quite a bit. I've also been looking for a job and I'm unable to find one. That's all i can think of that might be even remotely pertinent to this in some way.

Also, I'm looking through bird identification web pages (I'm sorry if all my posting is illegal here, I apologise) And the bird in my dream so far looks most like a black-billed magpie. The bird just looks like a magpie with a white body and long black tail.

I very nearly hung myself when I was 19 (dangerous age!) I'm now 38 years of age and a little awestruck by you. I also was suicidal for a similiar reason. I was in the Navy and failing A school (that's the training immediately following bootcamp.)
And now I'll articulate something important: Lapse of Cognition. What I mean is that I had no idea whatsoever what happens when you fail A school. It's as if there is no what if, no such possibility. It was this psychological condition that was the biggest reason pushing me over the edge.
As it turns out I became "undesignated" and merely worked in warehouses from then on. It wasn't that bad at all, but I had no idea at all. People need to know what to expect and I didn't!

Now for your dream, I think the hills are accomplishments, and your being on the biggest one is your plans to go to the college of your choice. But following the music you walked downhill, meaning your grades went down. You no longer could feel the hill underneath you, you no longer had a dream to go to that college.
The bird is your spirit. I may have flown into your mouth to retreat into your body, I don't know. Then your point of view changed to that of the bird.
You found yourself in a dark room, your depression. The keleidoscopic images were all the unworldly things that fascinate you. Then you are in the stone room, black & gold.
Clearly the giant figure is Death. He had eyes that were blacker than black, like holes in the universe, meaning that you have no outlook after dropping out of school. You have no idea what could lay ahead of you in your future.
I don't know the meaning of any of the gold. He leaned torward you and took you but you felt no fear, because you are suicidal! His core seemed to be nothingness itself. He was about to eat you, meaning you are about to kill yourself.
Then there's the timing you wake up, not because the height of terror did it but it's when the meaning of a dream hits the present. And now you stand before us, suicidal.

RECOVERY: As you stand before us in your low level state of being, it's not for you to continue in your downward descent and slip away into suicide. You should concentrate on the blacker than black blackness inside that death figure, it is the condition of having no idea what the future holds. This weakens you because of your basic emotional need to know what you can expect. Imagine a growing nondescript light there. There is always something that will happen and it probably won't be that bad. Like myself finding out afterwards where I will go, to work in the warehouses, that's when I began to feel better, and back to normal.
Whatever happens you will make new plans for yourself, something will come up, a new idea. You will get a job, probably in music, and live a normal life like I do. Looking back on my condition it's as if I almost froze to death or something. You just have to believe and know that a new future will form and come to be for you, even though you do not yet know what it could be. Good luck on choosing to live!

Yeah, the suicide comment helped, here's my take on it.

Not feeling the hill might represent you losing touch with reality. If you are into eastern philosophy, you might know a little about the chakra system. The base chakra, located at the base of the spine, represents our connection to the physical, and also measures our desire or to survive. Not feeling the hill means your life could be slipping away.

The hills and valleys, represent the good and bad times, the ups and downs. The view seems so much better high up on the hill, but that is the wrong idea. The dream is making the argument that the view outside is not so important, it is what is inside that is.

Inside of you, you hold an entire universe. Specifically the kaleidoscope and geometry hint towards the fractal nature of the universe, and the sacred geometry that underlies it. All things gold represent that of the divine. The golden ratio, phi, is part of the sacred geometry that is connected to the spiral, and how all things grow. It is the only way to grow back towards the creator.

This behemoth in the center of the room would be your subconscious self. You see you have some elements of the divine, the gold lips and gold hands, but other than that you remain emotionally suppressed, where the color is black. It seems like your subconscious is empty and void, that it literally consumes you to fill itself back up. You seem to have strayed far from it.

You are an aspiring poet and musician. They speak their mind with their mouth and their pen/music. You use your hands and lips for that. Notice how those were the only two parts of your subconscious that were golden? Those are your good qualities, stay with them.

Thanks for your responses, I'm posting another dream or two I'd like interpretted. Sorry that it's taken me awhile to respond, I went out of town and have been working on an album for awhile. I'll consider what you've both said and reflect on it more. It was a weird dream.

Glad you're still with us!!!

For the time being...