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    1. 06-10-2006 04:53 PM #1
      cecile
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      A Grieving Dream? "but he's dead!"

      So... in mid April I lost my grandpa
      we were pretty close...
      recently I've been having dreams about him..
      but all were those "comfort" dreams
      like where we're laughing, and he has his arm around me...
      but for the first time
      this morning I had a dream that wasn't so comforting

      we were in some house
      and I see my grandpa sitting in a chair
      he looks over and winks at me, gives me his little smile
      I smile back
      and then I realize that hes DEAD
      but no one else can see him
      I go to sit down next to my grandma
      but I turn away to start crying (trying to hide it from her)
      and all throughout the dream I continue to see my grandpa show up

      does this tell me something about my grieving process?
      I'm not sure what it means
      I know I miss him
      but... does it mean I'm accepting that hes gone? or maybe that I just am mourning him?
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    2. 06-11-2006 12:51 AM #2
      Asclepius
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      Hi Cecile,
      sorry to hear about your loss.

      It does sound like you are adjusting to the loss.

      One model of the grieving process is :

      * Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.
      * Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable.
      * Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.
      * Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.
      * Depression stage: Final realization of the inevitable.
      * Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.
      * Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

      But every person is different, and checklists don't replace emotions.
      "we may accept dream telepathy as a working hypothesis." Stephen LaBerge, page 231 Lucid Dreaming 1985
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