Thread: putting feces in my mouth

I have always had colorful, passion-filled (either fun or very frightening) intense dreams. Never a lucid dream. Many recurring dreams, or themes. upon waking, I remember little details - just the intense emotion each dream left in me.

A few months ago, my dream life took a turn. I have been having very strange, somber, almost emotionless dreams. Alligators and sea serpents have populated my dream life lately - they aren't frightening, I think they want to tell me something or warn me. I'm not scared, but I know they can be dangerous. I've done a lot of research on interpreting this: water imagery, reptiles, femininity, etc., and I think it has a lot to do with my self esteem. I have, in this time frame, quit smoking, taken up yoga, and started learning to meditate. I think the dream alligators are helping me sort through my murky, sometime self distructive self image.

Last night, a dream I've never had before. It had the same somber, emotionless quality as the alligator dreams - I feel detached, like I'm observing myself scientifically. In this dream, a faceless man is telling me a long drawn-out story, perhaps a joke, and egging me on to do things to reach the punchline. He tells me to put my feces in my mouth - I do, and have to hold it there for many minutes while he tells his story. Then, he has me spit it out into a large balloon, or something that really looks like a giant condom. I can still feel and taste feces stuck between my back teeth and I become so focused on scraping it out with my tongue and fingers, that I loose track of the man, his joke, the punchline we never hear. Then I woke up.

I am deeply disturbed by this dream. While the overriding emotion of it was somber, grey, almost lifeless, I feel violated, like something evil came into my dream world, just when my alligators and I were starting to make friends. I haven't found traditional interpretations of feces (a financial windfall, feelings of guilt) useful at all.

Thoughts? Advice? Please let me know. Thanks.