I'm Disturbed A Bit By This Dream

A long time ago I fell in lvoe with a girl because I was naive. She used me, and had 3 other guys chasing her at the same time, and I was the first one to try to get over her instead of chasing her, so she decided to make it as painful for me as possible by making me think of her all the time. Now, I'm finally over her, and when she glares at me in class, I ignore her and I'm over her.

I used to dream about her because I'd think of her every night till I fell asleep. But now, I had a dream about her but I never think of her much anymore. The dream goes as follows: She invites me and two of my friends over to her place, to her room/attic to watch movies. On the way, we lose her, and we don't know where she is and I'm looking for her. Then, I appeared in her room or attic or whatever, and she tells us to wait for her, and she leaves, but she never comes back, and we start looking for her. My friends also disappear, but I find one of them talking to some people playing basketball next door. So I wait.

And then, on her balcony (which I didn't know existed till now) appears some guy claiming to be a health inspector or something, and asks me to bring him to the first floor of the house. It just occured to me I got up to the second floor without even going in through the front door hehe. So, we're going down stairs, and then it's really dark, and there are plants all over the stairs, and a bunch of bugs all over the palce, they just start crawling on me and such.

Then I woke up... What could this mean? I don't think of her anymore, I dont love her anymore, nothing, that's why this disturbs me, because I don't know what it means or what could have caused it.

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Originally Posted by Gezus

A long time ago I fell in lvoe with a girl because I was naive. She used me, and had 3 other guys chasing her at the same time, and I was the first one to try to get over her instead of chasing her, so she decided to make it as painful for me as possible by making me think of her all the time. Now, I'm finally over her, and when she glares at me in class, I ignore her and I'm over her.

I used to dream about her because I'd think of her every night till I fell asleep. But now, I had a dream about her but I never think of her much anymore. The dream goes as follows: She invites me and two of my friends over to her place, to her room/attic to watch movies. On the way, we lose her, and we don't know where she is and I'm looking for her. Then, I appeared in her room or attic or whatever, and she tells us to wait for her, and she leaves, but she never comes back, and we start looking for her. My friends also disappear, but I find one of them talking to some people playing basketball next door. So I wait.

And then, on her balcony (which I didn't know existed till now) appears some guy claiming to be a health inspector or something, and asks me to bring him to the first floor of the house. It just occured to me I got up to the second floor without even going in through the front door hehe. So, we're going down stairs, and then it's really dark, and there are plants all over the stairs, and a bunch of bugs all over the palce, they just start crawling on me and such.

Then I woke up... What could this mean? I don't think of her anymore, I dont love her anymore, nothing, that's why this disturbs me, because I don't know what it means or what could have caused it.
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Losing somebody in a Dream is a classic motif. Yes, everybody always starts looking for the lost person; however, the TRICK to this particular Dream Motif is to learn NOT to care. the rule should be NEVER LOOK BACK. Always look forward. Always move forward.

Often in dreams I will be having a wonderful conversation with some attractive lady, but then we get separated somehow. I have learned to simply appreciate the good time I had already had, and then to do what I would ordinarily do, not look for her, but continue with the normal action of the Dream. And guess what happens. I soon meet another Lady, or the original Lady returns. But I no longer wonder around lost.

But you were. And it is not good. A Health Inspector showed up just as soon as you started to become re-involved with this girl you wanted nothing more to do with. That should have given you a clue. And then when the bugs and darkness descended upon you. Returning to this girl -- looking for this Lost Girl is not healthy for you.

And then there is the matter that you may be obsessing and putting more energy into this Non-Relationship then you should. It should be no big deal. There does not have to be any grudges. I am an Old Man, but before that I was an Adult for a very long time. One has relationships, and they are often Discreet Relationships. people try each other out and do not announce to the General Public that they are seeing each other, just in case it doesn't work out. And often enough it doesn't work out. So what do civilized people do then. They pretend nothing ever happened and they behave like either friends or like acquaintances that can be polite and nice to each other. There does not have to be any tension.

So in your real waking life, stop looking funny at this girl and you don't have to act strange around her. Treat her exactly like everybody else. You don't have to be enemies. Indeed, it is even allowed that you could be friends.

Be cool.

You don't understand. I'm in high school. So is she. She's 15. So that sort of explains it. She likes having guys chase her and all that buzz. I can't be friends with her because she'll just try to hurt me again, she keeps asking my friends if I talk about her and stuff because she can't stand that I got away.

But I haven't thought of her in a long time, so I didn't know why she was in my dream. But I think I understand. It's because when I fell in love with her, I fell in love with the person I thought she was, and not her. Now I'm still looking for that lost person that I never see in her anymore since she's always trying to impress people, be the center of attention and whatnot. I've let her go, but she's still in two of my classes, and still stares at me alot to get me to think of her, and that's why I can't completely move on till after high school. I dipped my pen in the company ink in a way, although I have no regrets since I learned alot from it.

thanks a bunch for the expertise!

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Originally Posted by Gezus

You don't understand. I'm in high school. So is she. She's 15. So that sort of explains it. She likes having guys chase her and all that buzz. I can't be friends with her because she'll just try to hurt me again, she keeps asking my friends if I talk about her and stuff because she can't stand that I got away.

But I haven't thought of her in a long time, so I didn't know why she was in my dream. But I think I understand. It's because when I fell in love with her, I fell in love with the person I thought she was, and not her. Now I'm still looking for that lost person that I never see in her anymore since she's always trying to impress people, be the center of attention and whatnot. I've let her go, but she's still in two of my classes, and still stares at me alot to get me to think of her, and that's why I can't completely move on till after high school. I dipped my pen in the company ink in a way, although I have no regrets since I learned alot from it.

thanks a bunch for the expertise!
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You think I don't understand. Why? Because I don't agree that you really have any real problem at all? Jeez! Get over yourself! She is JUST a girl. What, is she the only girl in your class... in your school?

You think I am supposed to understand that you have no choice but to act like a moony lovesick idiot? Well, no... YOU DON'T. You could grow up and be cool if you only wanted to. If you had any backbone, guts or balls.

What I am beginning to understand is that you ask for advice but are unwilling to take any.

Go back to being some silly puppet to some silly little girl.

What is it with you young boys that you must THINK that girls are so much better than you are. have you never heard that girls are supposed to be Sexual Objects? Have you never heard that "there is more than one fish in the sea"? "All Cats are grey in the Dark". "Any Port in a Storm". "There is only One Woman but She has a thousand... a million... a billion... FACES".

As soon as any girl, any time, anywhere, afronts your Dignity in any way, you should laugh in her face and walk away.

Instead you put yourself beneath her, and allow her to have all this power over you.

You are a mouse.

Gezus, don't worry about these dreams your having. It was inevitable you'd be thinking about her in your dreams.

See I have this theory about Lucid Dreams and how they affect our concsiousness.

When we have Lucid Dreams, we are creating a bridge between our Sub Conscious and Conscious minds. Occasionly, things from your sub-conscious are going to make it across that bridge and appear in your dreams. As soon as it does, if you take hold of that and think on it, your allowing more if it to come through. Eventually enough of it has passed on into your conscious mind that it can flow freely, and the more you think on it, the longer its going to dwell.

Since she was someone you at some point tried to establish a strong emotional connection with, its going to be easy for the memory of her to come into your mind than other thoughts.

The best thing to do is in your next Lucid Dream, get into contact with your dream guide (what I call a visual representation of your subconscious), and talk to it. Since its a part of you (the sub-conscious part more or less), you should be able to use that to excersise some control over the situation.

You could also have unresolved feelings for her, and if trying my above way doesn't work, sit down and just talk to her and resolve any problems you had, noting before you guys talk that your not there to start a relationship.

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Originally Posted by Leo

You think I don't understand. Why? Because I don't agree that you really have any real problem at all? Jeez! Get over yourself! She is JUST a girl. What, is she the only girl in your class... in your school?

You think I am supposed to understand that you have no choice but to act like a moony lovesick idiot? Well, no... YOU DON'T. You could grow up and be cool if you only wanted to. If you had any backbone, guts or balls.

What I am beginning to understand is that you ask for advice but are unwilling to take any.

Go back to being some silly puppet to some silly little girl.

What is it with you young boys that you must THINK that girls are so much better than you are. have you never heard that girls are supposed to be Sexual Objects? Have you never heard that "there is more than one fish in the sea"? "All Cats are grey in the Dark". "Any Port in a Storm". "There is only One Woman but She has a thousand... a million... a billion... FACES".

As soon as any girl, any time, anywhere, afronts your Dignity in any way, you should laugh in her face and walk away.

Instead you put yourself beneath her, and allow her to have all this power over you.

You are a mouse.
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That would have been true before, but not anymore. You still don't understand. This isn't a case of me letting her get to me, I'm already over her. I'm just saying she's in my school and still trying to get me to think of her, and that she isn't an adult. This wasn't the type of thing where we tried, it didnt work out, and it's over. No, she collects guys like this for confidence, and the fact I got away pisses her off, so she won't stop bothering me. I was just disturbed by this dream is all, since I never really think of her anymore and so I didn't understand why she of all people would appear in my dream.

The romantic thing, it's over. I'm not her puppet, and I'm not lovesick or as much of an idiot as you think. But I came here for advice about my dream, not for you to yell at me because you believe I'm being a pussy in this whole ordeal. The ordeal itself is over, and I'm no longer a pussy. But still, thanks for the dream interpretation.

And Rage of Poseidon, I've never had an actual lucid dream, I just remember my dreams when I can. I've tried WILDing, but I only got close once and I wussed out.

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Originally Posted by Gezus

That would have been true before, but not anymore. You still don't understand. This isn't a case of me letting her get to me, I'm already over her. I'm just saying she's in my school and still trying to get me to think of her, and that she isn't an adult. This wasn't the type of thing where we tried, it didnt work out, and it's over. No, she collects guys like this for confidence, and the fact I got away pisses her off, so she won't stop bothering me.
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She is bothering you because ITS NOT OVER FOR YOU. You are LETTING her bother you. If you can't REALLY treat her just like anybody else, then you need to at least pretend that she is the same as anybody else. And that means you stop obsessing about her.

She is not walking up and pulling your hair. She is not tickling you. You say she is looking at you funny. So What? How do you you even know she is looking at you?

You need to normalize. You need to understand what I am telling you.

Your attitude NOW is to suppose that a 60 year old man does not understand what some snot nose kid is saying. Well, yeah sure.

It is the great secret of the Universe that people are the smartest, wisest and most full of understanding at the age of 15 and then go downhill from there until at the age of 60 one entirely forgets every step that had been taken to get one through one's life.

But, fine, you win. She is bothering you. Here, this will fix her. Start crying all the time. Or you can turn into a drug adict, and make her feel sorry for you. What else can you do to make yourself utterly pathetic. It doesn't matter. It won't be your fault. You can blame it all on her.

Oh yeah, I forgot, you are totally over her.

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Originally Posted by Leo

She is bothering you because ITS NOT OVER FOR YOU. You are LETTING her bother you. If you can't REALLY treat her just like anybody else, then you need to at least pretend that she is the same as anybody else. And that means you stop obsessing about her.

She is not walking up and pulling your hair. She is not tickling you. You say she is looking at you funny. So What? How do you you even know she is looking at you?

You need to normalize. You need to understand what I am telling you.

Your attitude NOW is to suppose that a 60 year old man does not understand what some snot nose kid is saying. Well, yeah sure.

It is the great secret of the Universe that people are the smartest, wisest and most full of understanding at the age of 15 and then go downhill from there until at the age of 60 one entirely forgets every step that had been taken to get one through one's life.

But, fine, you win. She is bothering you. Here, this will fix her. Start crying all the time. Or you can turn into a drug adict, and make her feel sorry for you. What else can you do to make yourself utterly pathetic. It doesn't matter. It won't be your fault. You can blame it all on her.

Oh yeah, I forgot, you are totally over her.
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I am over her. The thing that was bothering me though was the dream, and it doesn't anymore because now I know what it means.