Within the past year of dream journaling, I've had a handful of dreams in which I am not my normal female self, but a man. I've never had a dream where I am a different person, except when I dream I'm male. Most of the time, I am a male that I've seen on TV before. Most of the time in these dreams I am very stressed. Here are some of the dreams (abridged):
-I'm in a tremendous zeppelin-type craft, large enough to hold a university (it was a floating university). We're flying over the ocean. Everyone has black hair, even I. I have blue eyes, and see myself in third person. I'm in love with a brown-eyed girl, but too shy to approach her. Instead, I try showing her my love by breaking into the navigation room and setting a course for an island on which a solar eclipse is said to happen (this is the only part that I'm in first person). Before we arrive, we enter a storm system, people discover that I was the one that changed the course, I feel guilty/scared, and I wake up.
-Don't laugh. I'm Jimmy Neutron, and I'm sneaking into someone's garden through a hole in their fence. It's a produce garden, sturdy, fruitful, and pretty. I don't want to get caught. I enter a shed where I see the owner, your stereotypical scientist. He asks me what the problem is, and I tell him that none of this is real. He doesn't believe me, and I become very frustrated and do a bunch of floating back flips to prove it to him (this part is in third person). He still doesn't believe me. I wake up.
-I'm Orlando Bloom. My hair is wet. We are shooting a film that reminds me of something from Shakespeare, based on the clothes, set, and manner of speaking (also, the plot). I'm in a large bedroom, where my mother (not my real mother, an actress) lay ill. I ask her what I can do, and she flies out of her bed, hovering a few feet above, her long black hair dancing wildly in all directions, her arms and legs outstretched, her eyes rolled back. I can tell she's in a fit of convulsion from poisoning, and I keep thinking that it's too real to be special effects. I believe that she's my mother, and she's really in pain, despite gazing at the cameras nearby. I want to help her, but I become paralyzed, my gaze locked into her sickening face. I'm overwhelmed by fear and sadness, I feel it could've been prevented. I wake up in a cold sweat, nauseated.
-I've had a couple others where I've taken the form of Johnny Depp, but they didn't have as great an affect on me, consequently I can't find the Depp dreams in my journals (they are there somewhere...).
I think it means... I don't know. Maybe the message is detached from gender altogether. Maybe not. If it helps, I'm heterosexual, I hate makeup, and I hate the image of females as sex-toys and ditzes. Maybe these man dreams are a reflection of that. But what do I make of the realizations that I am acting/not real? The loss of those realizations?
