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    1. 03-13-2008 02:48 PM #1
      watergirl
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      Unhappy Scary recurring dream theme

      I posted this in another forum but someone said post in this one instead, so here goes:

      Over the last 3 weeks, I've been having dreams about my father. In every dream, he's mean. I have a foreboding feeling of fear, dread, and the like every time I dream about him. I've dreamt about him at least 4 times over the past few weeks. One time he was screaming at me at the top of his lungs. Another time he was speaking in a very low voice but he was very, very angry. That time, he said something like, "What do you want me to do about it?" Last night he called my brother on the phone, and for some reason my brother and I were hanging out, and the tone of his voice was again very, very angry--almost rageous--and he asked my brother, "Where is your sister?" Both my brother and I are now in our 30's. My father will be 70 this year.

      For some background: about 13 years ago, my father was particularly hateful and as a result, I pulled away, asserting my new independence (my own apt., car, paid my own way, etc.). I was in my early 20's. He would call on the phone and leave hateful messages. He would write hateful letters. He is also an alcoholic and was, at the time, almost at rock-bottom. So for 10 years, we didn't speak, and the times we did, he was again hateful. So I've spent all this time building my life to some degree of personal and professional success, and now these dreams are surfacing--and the feelings, once again. In waking hours I do not fear him, but in my dreams when he is present, the fear that I once had comes back.

      I don't understand why these are surfacing now. Why would it take so long? What are these dreams trying to tell me, and so frequently and suddenly recurring? I don't even know the right questions to ask because I'm just baffled.

      Any insight?
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    2. 03-13-2008 10:31 PM #2
      Henry
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      since they are frequently recurring recently, something must have triggered it. And that is sticking around you unresolved.

      dialogues, they could mean interactions.
      It could be or not be your father in this dream. My guess is Not. I believe at the moment that you are worried about a relationship or seeking a relationship (not love-love necessarily, but any kind of relationship). But you do not want to admit any problems that may exist.

      that's my guess for now: if i'm wrong tell me more about the dreams and what's occuring around you. More on social basis. And anything in your life that could have triggered the father figure in your mind.
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    3. 03-13-2008 11:10 PM #3
      Mimph
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      ^ What he said. Maybe your just remembering bad memories or something. Makes sense, somehow you're actually dreaming/ re-living through the same atmosphere.

      Try asking him in your dreams, why does he keep appearing. If he does some random stuff (Stupid DC's) then your at ease. Try not to fear him in your dreams, because too much fear could lead up to a nightmare.

      OR, you could what I do, which is kick his ass, or that if he shouts at you, make him do something stupid
      Last edited by Mimph; 03-13-2008 at 11:15 PM.
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    4. 03-14-2008 05:41 AM #4
      megamanx21
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      Just a quick question, do you have any unresolved issues between you and your father or brother? Or have you worked it all out since those difficult years?

      I do hope everything gets better for you
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    5. 03-14-2008 03:41 PM #5
      watergirl
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      I do have unresolved issues...never really told him how I felt because he just doesn't care. He says one thing and does another. Regarding the previous 2 posts, I did just start dating someone in the last 2 months...and I do have my concerns about this person but I'm "waiting to see what happens".
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    6. 03-15-2008 03:30 AM #6
      megamanx21
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      Maybe you should try talking to them and seeing if there is a way to resolve some things (assuming that you haven't already done this). If the other parties involved aren't willing to do this, then at least you tried and you can say that you did your part.

      You are only responsible for your actions, not other peoples.

      So if they don't want to make things right then that's their own issue, but at least you gave it a shot.

      Anyways, I do hope things get better for you =)
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