Incest Nightmares

Alright Alright, I know this is a stretch and all but seriously this has been driving me freaking crazy for the past three or four nights. So let's all be mature.

I recently just broke up with my boyfriend and I keep having these horrible TERRIBLE dreams where I'm about to engage with him intimately, and then he turns into either my father or my brother. This has happened once before, and I've never had a full "intimate" dream with my ex, and it disturbs me the fact I am having 'sex dreams' with family members.

In fact it's made me physically Ill.

I remember reading somewhere that Incest dreams are normal, but I don't know what they mean exactly, something about the merging of the adult-self and the child-self? Like, reaching adulthood? or something? I don't know, but I just really wish it would stop and for people to take this seriously.

Trust me, you wouldn't be in good shape either after this sort of thing!

Just let it pass I suppose.

Ok Tomko, first, you need to know the basics of a dream. I've been told, and I know this is true, that your dreams are your thought and memories, and daily doing. Other than technicality and meaning, that is what is the basic meaning of dreaming.

Second, this may mean something. Do you know what exact things you discuss with your family? What things do you do (no offence)? And overall how sexual is your mind? I don't mean to sound rude but in order to find out how we can help you, we'll need to know if sexual thoughts are common in your grasp.

And, to make things better. I don't mean to tell you to perv or anything but if incest thoughts are the things making you physically ill, this is the thing that recks your hormones, correct? Then I recommend you try and see on TV or Google or anything you can find to easy viewing, a nice guy, or nice girl if you wish.

I do know how it feels to have dreams with your hormones and make mental pain turn into a physical illness (gay sex dream), but as I know, this is a far more serious matter.

My final piece of advice is too become lucid so you can either ask for answers, or make the incest dream stop. My recommendation for this is too eat chocolate before bed, if this is a desperate thing, this can boost your lucid skills quickly.

Also, a common tip for fighting nightmares would be to write down your fears. So in the same style, write down exactly what you don't like, perhaps in a Dream Journal. You don't have to do this, but to make it easy to gain advice, we have to know exactly what is happening so we can help.

Hope I've helped, and if you're new to the forum, then welcome to the community! Hope you have fun, and more seriously, I hope you can fix this problem, if this is what the matter here is. :)

PS - Nice Signature and Avatar. ;)

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Originally Posted by Tomko

Alright Alright, I know this is a stretch and all but seriously this has been driving me freaking crazy for the past three or four nights. So let's all be mature.

I recently just broke up with my boyfriend and I keep having these horrible TERRIBLE dreams where I'm about to engage with him intimately, and then he turns into either my father or my brother. This has happened once before, and I've never had a full "intimate" dream with my ex, and it disturbs me the fact I am having 'sex dreams' with family members.

In fact it's made me physically Ill.

I remember reading somewhere that Incest dreams are normal, but I don't know what they mean exactly, something about the merging of the adult-self and the child-self? Like, reaching adulthood? or something? I don't know, but I just really wish it would stop and for people to take this seriously.

Trust me, you wouldn't be in good shape either after this sort of thing!

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I've been through that too and, yes, it's not pleasant as it's clearly something we wouldn't contemplate IRL.

I don't know if there's a regular answer to this. But my take on it is that we are perhaps looking for qualities in a partner that we have already experienced in family relationships. Our desire for both an emotional and sexual bond can get tangled up. We sexualise our emotions all too easily. And probably for good reason. Can you imagine being emotionally close to one person (who is not in your family) yet sexually close to someone else? Sure, it's possible, but for most of us we look for the complete package in one person.

All I can suggest is to take a step back and think what the dream is revealing to you. Forget the feelings of disgust on waking for a moment, think how you felt in the dream. Sounds like you felt good. Close. Fulfilled. Nothing wrong with that? Dreams don't have the benefit of the ego to mediate our thinking (it's sleeping) so our unconscious runs wild like a child.

I think the first thing to note is just how closely you associate love (as you find it in the family) with sex. Whilst it's not OK to have passionate feelings for your father or brother. It's perfectly OK to have passionate feelings for similarly nice (or whatever adjectives you would use to describe them) men.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tomko

Alright Alright, I know this is a stretch and all but seriously this has been driving me freaking crazy for the past three or four nights. So let's all be mature.

I recently just broke up with my boyfriend and I keep having these horrible TERRIBLE dreams where I'm about to engage with him intimately, and then he turns into either my father or my brother. This has happened once before, and I've never had a full "intimate" dream with my ex, and it disturbs me the fact I am having 'sex dreams' with family members.

In fact it's made me physically Ill.

I remember reading somewhere that Incest dreams are normal, but I don't know what they mean exactly, something about the merging of the adult-self and the child-self? Like, reaching adulthood? or something? I don't know, but I just really wish it would stop and for people to take this seriously.

Trust me, you wouldn't be in good shape either after this sort of thing!

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They are normal! You dreaming of incest and the appropriate feeling (making you physical ill) is a way of your brain to prevent incest.

Sex dreams keep neurotic pathways in the brain active so you'll always be able to have sex even if you've never done it. This is natural instinct programmed into us by our brains through dreams. This is the same for your incest dreams, don't worry about them, they are your instincts being kept active... It's like having nightmares about falling from very big heights.. it's also a way of your dream programming your brain to be cautious of heights.

I feel sorry for you, haha.

I've actually explained this in another thread, but I'll explain it here again. Sex in a dream (whether lucid or not) doesn't always mean that you want to sleep with that person.

Sex generally refers to a method of communication. What you need to do is take each element of who that person is or represents, and apply it to your communication skills. Not necessarily with that person themselves, but the people or things that it represents.

I once had a lucid dream in which I was "woken" into it by my mother. I looked around a bit, and when I turned back, she was standing there with her back facing me, and only in her undies - no bra on. Kind of freaked me out. Nobody wants to see their parents in the nude. But this doesn't mean that I WANTED to see my mother naked. Breasts are an indication of emotion, usually unexpressed sensitivity. Because her breasts were bare and she had her back turned to me, this could be an indication that one of us is hiding our emotions from the other. Which I would completely agree with.

It may be the same in your dreams as well.

As I said, sex in a dream refers to your method of communication. So analyse whether the sex was deviant, loving, rough, etc, and apply that to your way of communication. For example, rough sex with a father figure may indicate that you are abrasive towards older men who you percieve as a mentor rather than a sex interest.

Father: doesn't necessarily refer to one's biological relationship, for this symbol usually represents a fatherly individual to whom the dreamer personally relates in life.
Brother: characterizes a close male associate in life; a male who is a close friend.
Incest: dramatizes the seriousness of a dangerously negative relationship.


So you see, when you break it down, it's not as sickly as you think it is. I suggest thinking about who each of them represent, because I find that in my dreams, my mind replaces certain people with ones I'm more familiar with. And if you need an example of that, I'd have to say my dream in which I selected that the (now former) Prime Minister of Australia was to divorce his wife. However once I analyzed it, several indications were around me that it was France ( though I didn't realize it at the time), despite it taking place in my old home. It all clicked once Sarkozy ended up divorcing his wife not long later.

Yeah that sounds about right. My ex was being a douchecanoe but he was also a very good friend of mine and older than I was, so I suppose..after everything it makes sense.

Thanks a lot hah hopefully this revelation will make it stop sooner than later x(

well dreams use situations as symbols. They may have extremely complex meanings. You say that these dreams disgust you... maybe thats the meaning. That your dream is saying that having sex with your ex would be as disgusting as having sex with your father. Its just shows you how sickened you are by the relationship


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