Fear??

I've had the most freakishly bizarre dreams lately. I've dreamed of battling snakes to protect L (I'm TERRIFIED of snakes), my mom killing my step dad (a mercy killing) and then last night it was horrible. It started out sorta Final Destinationish - Me, and my 2 best friends and supposed to go to Paris - I refused because I'm terrified to fly (I remember thinking, why didn't Kristen - my 12 year old daughter in real life - go on a trip with her 6th grade class). We went into this airport and they were going to go, just not me. Then next thing I know, the airport is this government building - huge huge huge - lots of windows and evidently next to a beach. I start to panic and start running deeper into the compound for protection from these planes/helicopters w/ heat seeking missiles that are trying to kill us (not us in particular, just people in general). Next, I'm an adult as I am now - I don't know when I grew back up lol. For some reason, I'm not worried about my 2 oldest children - they must be safe. I am running with Leah (my 22 month old). We go up this crazy high ladder (terrified of heights) and then all the sudden we're safe for a minute and I have evidently just had another baby - a tiny little girl that might not make it; she's so small and wearing a little dress. I hold her really close to love on her and to check her breathing - she has tiny little breaths. I notice that Johnny (my 5 year old) isn't there and I'm freaking out - howling and screaming-terror filled, anxious, nervous, heart broken - I'm going nuts looking for my 5 year old. My phone rang, it was my aunt that I haven't talked to in at least 6 years. Evidently, she's high up in the govt. and tells me that I just haven't found him YET - from wherever she is, she turns on a monitor where I'm hiding and I can see Johnny - he's on the beach playing in the sand when all the sudden huge waves start attacking the beach, there are buildings crashing around him and everyone is running. I don't know who he was at the beach with. He is just sitting in the sand watching everything. He has a cut on his forehead, his face scrunches up and just hollers Mommy Help ME - I woke up and had to check on him first thing. It was freaking horrible - any ideas??


It was strange how I aged in this dream. I started out at about 18 - yet had all the experiences of my 33 year old self - I even had my 4 children. I'm a photographer for NILMDTS so I often hold and photograph babies as young as 20 weeks gestation living or passed. We don't plan to have any other children. IRL - I am afraid snakes, flying, heights - being trapped or confined. I know I'll forget about this pretty quickly - I always do. BUT - I'm usually a really light sleeper - I have to be with 4 kids. But last night, my youngest got into our bed - didnt even feel her! and I slept through the alarm - which I NEVER do. Went to bed last night about 1030 - early for me and didnt wake up once all night - unusual for me. Any help appreciated!!