hostile

I belonged to another forum and left on bad terms, I felt I had been used by several members, just as I had been used by so called friends, they lean on me for support and a shoulder to cry on, yet when I had asked for something, they never bother to acknowledge or at least offer some support.

The dream started before I left though, maybe a few weeks before.

I walk into a house, in the dream it is mine, the stairs on my left, the living room on my right, there is a den in the far right, you enter by crossing the living room, it is always dark. In front of me, slightly to the right, there is a rectangle table, there are people sitting around the table, some have clasped hands ontop of the table, some hands are hidden under the table. At the end of the table further from me sits my aunt. She is the 3rd oldest child in a family of 7, (my mother is the youngest), she is the only one on the table that is smiling, my feelings is that she regards me as a mystery that she is trying to understand better. The other people around the table, are members from the other forum with whom I parted with on bad terms, they look uneasy with my presence, I don't even look at them.

I call out "Drayno", with a heavy accent, it could be spelt differently, as it sounds foreign so I am not sure if I have spelt it right. Out from the dark den, three doberman pinchers come to my side, the dogs don't notice the people at all. I walk further in front and on my left is the entrance to the kitchen, myself and the dogs walk there and out into the black night in a lonely lane towards the woodlands.

Prior to leaving, I look at one of the man there - with who I was on good terms in the other forum - and I ask him if he wants to join me taking the dogs for a walk, he gets up and out of nowhere, his dog accompanies us.

We walk to a house, through a downstairs window we peek inside and see a woman there, we watch her for a while, the man suddenly looks behind me, in turn I see what he is looking at, we both are seeing the husband of the woman we were looking at coming towards us with a shotgun.

We run, laughing like a maniac, deep into the woods, we stumble and fall into a mudpool, we remain there until danger has passed, the man with the shotgun fading away. We walk back to the house with our dogs, the mans wife asks him how come he is dirty, he replies "it was the dogs fault". I laugh and walk away.

This is the dream that has been occuring a lot lately, two nights ago, the dream was in the same vein but different.

I walk through the living room, I glare at the people around the able with hostility, the people around the table are very uneasy with my presence, my eyes, naturally hazel, turn to ice green. I feel very tall, the word I feel is apt for what I'm feeling in the dream is that I'm omipresence, and the people are afraid. My aunt is the only one that is still smiling and regarding me as something of a mystery that she is trying to understand.

While still glaring at the people, I call "Drayno", three doberman pinchers come to my side, I don't recall walking to the kitchen, more of floating, I know I went into the woods, I don't know how or why I know, I just do. The next 'scene' I'm walking back into the kitchen from outside, the people around the table are still afraid, I glare at them still. I call something, and the dogs disappear into the den.

I have three children, 6, 3, and 5 months. I'm generous to a fault. I was angry when I left the other forum, but not before I said all I needed to say.

I'm a loner, who always has time for others. This dream is leaving me worn out, physically I'm okay, the mental part is I'm exhausted. It seems to me that being someone in the dream with intense feelings is making me tired.

I hope someone can offer interpretion, as I need to understand what is wrong, what the dream is telling me, what I need to do, how to resolve so that I can move on.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read, I look forward to any suggestions, or comments. If you want to know anything, just post it and I will reply with full details. I really do need to understand what is going on.

Vix

It could be the dream is bringing out emotions you didn't know were there, or didn't know the strength of; it might be a form of venting.

Another possibility is that there's meaning in the differences between the first time the dream happened and the second time: The first time you didn't pay much attention to the members of the forum except the one you were on good terms with, and it sounds like it was positive experience after that. The second time you spent more time glaring at the people and went into the woods alone (except for the dogs) and ended up still being angry. "Protection" might be another aspect; in both cases you had the dogs. The first time, there was a man with a gun, but you and the person you were on good terms with got away without too much worry. The second time, you were alone and weren't afraid of anything, but didn't have the same positive feelings...I'm not sure what all of that comes down to, but maybe it has something to do with focusing on positive relationships?

Thanks, you've said something that reasonates, I hadn't realised how angry I was, and how obsessional I was about it. Being angry got me nowhere, when I changed tactics, being more approachable, more open and friendly as a result they were the ones that kept looking at me, as if I was something they wanted to 'get to know again' but didn't know how to.

Having changed how I was in the dream, the dream doesn't occur as much as before. It comes and goes. Don't know what to make of that.