When emotions get a little more than dead

K, so first of all, i was seeing this bird. Tall, long dark hair, slender, knee high boots, fishnet tights and a... belt for a skirt >_> Well anyways... i wasn't so much as seeing her as.... seeing her >_> We went to this place in Leeds (i've no fucking clue why Leeds) and I paid this bloke to let me keep her for 10 days. In other words, she had no means of running off from me for 10 days, she was mine, she belonged to me.

So anyways, about 2 days later i change my mind, and i'm off on a bus into Leeds. I get there and the woman i was seeing is now a guy. Well anyways, he's there and with a friend. He asks what i'm doing and i said i was gona cancel the 10 day thing and get my money back for the days left. Something tells me he's not too happy about it and he fucks off somewhere, leaving me with his best mate. He's got to come with me to cancel it so... I head on off to the train station to wait for the train with his mate.

Stood there, i suddenly see this guy (which my dream has called Lee) walking on the train track, he's on the train track because he thinks because i'm canceling the 10 day thing, means i dont want him anymore, when in actual fact, i just thought i'd give him the freedom of walking away when he wanted. The second Lee appears from behind the pillar blocking my view I see the light of a train behind him. The exact thoughts in my head were: "Lee, get off the track!"
"It's too late..."

Lee, walking slowly with his arms out to the sides, back to the train. It's one of them Virgin ones, the fast ones. And well... Lee splattered all over the friggin train station.

I cried... I cried: "OMG No!" but that was it. I woke up at that point feeling... nothing. Yanno when you have a dream and it gets real emotional and it carries on after you wake up... yeah well... no emotion. So i wanted to go back to sleep to carry on the dream to see if i felt anything in the dream. Well, it wasn't that that i dreamt when i went back to sleep, so that plan failed.

Well... some guy (supposedly someone i loved in my dream) just got splattered to bits by a speeding train.... and I feels nothing. The image of the exact impact before the speed of the train tore his body apart seems to be imprinted on my brain... but it's more like 'did i just see that happen?' rather than 'omg man dead!'. It's making me question just how dead inside i really am.