Self Sabotage and New York, New York -Detailed-

Okay so I was born in the NY (Bronx) and have lived in various places in NY such as Queens, Brooklyn and Westhampton Beach. I recently moved to the UK about four plus years ago but my dreams mainly involve being back in Long Island (probably because I miss WHB) So my dream starts out...

I was meant to be going on a date with this guy. He was picking my up from my apartment in Manhattan. The apartment reminded my of Charlotte Yorke's apartment in Sex And The City. (She's one of my favorite characters I love her need for order and perfection). I was looking down at an envelope that had the details about the date. I'd never met this guy before I don't think but it was a blind date.

He knocked on the door and I was ready to go. He had blondish hair (I have a thing for blondes). It was a dark tinted brunnetteish color. His hair was longish for a guy like ear length to possibly the jaw bone and curly. His attire reminded me of a musician (which I also have a thing for) like causal, but grungy.

There was an instant spark. But then something happened I was rushing out of the apartment and onto the streets of Manhattan. I ended up in a train station. I was upset than I realized I was also lost in what appeared to be a train station in Brooklyn. Before I left the train station. I saw people reuniting with friends and felt a sense of lost. I felt like I wasn't far from the hotel and decided to head back. I realized that although the place I was in felt like Brooklyn and looked like Brooklyn I was still in Manhattan.

I turned a corner and saw two men coming towards me. I had a fear they were dangerous and foolishly I ran away. They caught up with me though. One of them appeared to be injured. The older man who looked like the gentleman who played Aaliyah's father in Romeo Must Die asked me where I was headed. I told him I wanted to get back to my hotel. They helped me and I was back on the bottom floor.

I didn't remember what floor my apartment was on. Then I remember my date reciting it to me. I got on a elevator or a poor excuse for an elevator. It was really a piece of wood or something attached to some string. We all piled on, people were squashed sitting on laps. The cut out for the elevator was very dodgy. At times I wanted to jump off and nearly did because it seemed like we would all die or be injured. I kept trying to prevent the man on top of me from cracking his skull open on the ride up.

I got off the elevator but I wasn't on the right floor. I searched and searched then finally found it. I saw someone sitting on the floor their arms wrapped around their knees. I hoped it was that guy. It was instead a teen girl. There was also a guy sitting in the same position to her. They were both waiting for people. I went into my apartment a bit devastated. I looked at the envelope with the details but couldn't find his cell or any number. I felt a bit heartbroken then I decided to open my front door. There he was walking down the stairs. He was smiling and I think I was too. I was so excited to see him. It was odd because I didn't know him very well and he didn't know me yet he waited over an hour for me to come back. I kissed him on the cheek then decided to kiss him properly. He said we should still go out that night (it was about 9 now). However when we outside the sun was out. (I never questioned that in my dream.)

We saw a tram passing by the driver, a slightly tubby man announced they were headed to Bangkok. My date I think his name was Josh said we should go. The cost was a £1 I think (I think in my heart I am still uncertain about were I live I often flutter between dreams in the US and dreams in the UK) the tram had benches but the driver turned to my date and said I'll need a bit extra for you. My date's appearance had randomly changed. Before he had an athletic build now he was overweight. I reminded the driver of his own weight and how he was not fit enough to be able to make remarks like that to other people. I was odd that I was not bothered by his weight as I myself am extremely weight conscious.

It was odd but I felt like this guy was my soulmate. He was patient. I have no patience. He was spontaneous. I love spontaneity. He was funny and I love to laugh. I didn't care for perfection but I am fascinated by it. What does this dream mean? I can't work everything out. I gather that I tend to self sabotage myself when things appear they could work out. I get lost or confused then regret previous decisions and try and change what I've done. But what else is there is this over imaginative mind of mine?