Background: I'm a 27-year-old middle school teacher. My ex boyfriend (of 5 years) and I recently began dating again (about 10 months ago.) We originally broke up because I felt as though he couldn't commit to me - after 5 years there was no talk of moving in together or anything. He has been a lot more committed this time around. In any case, he wants to have kids, I don't (I LOVE kids but I worry that I will be a bad mom because bipolar disorder runs in my family.) That's the background... here are the dreams:
1) In the first dream, I was dating my current boyfriend. I got pregnant, and my boyfriend talked me into keeping it even though I was really nervous about it. I figured we would move in together, since, after all, he had talked me into having the baby. But we didn't. And he was never around to help me take care of it, and I ended up accidentally killing it because I was too busy to take care of it on my own (I don't remember how) and then I threw it away in a garbage can. I remember feeling completely guilty, and like a terrible terrible person, and angry with my boyfriend for talking me into keeping the baby and then never being around.
2) My sister (who passed away about three years ago in real life) had had a baby, but for some reason I was taking care of it. I was at some sort of convention (the details are fuzzy), but I left the baby in a carrier in a dimly lit cafeteria. I was trying to get my hair to work with one of those bump-it things you see on TV, and had a bunch of women around me advising me on how to do it. I went to go check on my sister's baby, picked him up, and he was ice cold. I tried to warm him up and remember a strong sense of dread a then I vomited. I realized that I hadn't fed him in 3 days and I had starved him to death. I cried and cried, then I put him in a tupperware container and threw him away in a garbage can.
Can someone shed some light on these sickly disturbing dreams?!
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