dream i cut my own throat

the dream started with me not actually being myself but an old woman in a care home. i took a blade and i sliced my neck through my wind pipe. there was no blood in the dream and i remember being very concious that i wanted to die but nobody must know about it. the cut did not kill me and i was still able to breathe and talk. as the old woman i imagined pulling the wound open further and stamping DNR (do not resuscitate) on my chest but the doctors then ignoring this request and trying to save me against my will.

i then became myself again (in my own body) but still with a sliced windpipe that i was eager to hide from my friends. eventually one noticed and said i had to go to hospital. at the hospital i told the nurse ' i wished to kill my self initially' the dream wasn't panicked at all, i woke with a bit of a sore throat but nothing major.

what do people think this means? i've been looking on the internet but there doesn't seem to be anything about cutting your own throat. any ideas or interpretations welcome. thank you!

to me, it seems to be indicating maybe, you have wanted to escape life recently, but you feel embaressed and ashamed to even admit it to anyone, maybe even yourself? Hence in the dream, you wanted to hide your windpipe from your friends. When I say escape, maybe you are contemplating death? or maybe you just want to escape, disapear? the age, being an old owman, may be a factor of having been holding onto this all for too long? I would also think, cutting the throat could symbolise you are cutting yourself off from communicating your real feelings, unable to voice your true thoughts perhapse? And the fact you mentioned windpipe, being exposed, and wanting to rip out your throats innards, I think this may suggest wanting to display all your true thoughts through words unsaid, perhapse feeling frustrated and misunderstood, never the less it being because of your own inability to speak your own personal truth, to circulate the 'air' of your being, as to hide and hold your real self, your true thoughts, feelings to the world, to others, is like withholding breath to spite them, yet, you are not doing yourself any favours, and you are disrupting a natural cycle of the exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen, the exchange of your own thoughts and feleings through voicing them and recieving feedback