Thread: Mattthew's Dream Journal

First journal entry. Last night was recovery sleep after a weekend of sleep deprivation. I woke up many times. It's all muddled. Some random bits:

There was a boy in a wheelchair who was let into a special entrance within a beautiful sweeping stair case of some "grand central station" style building...

I went to a bike shop and had a conversation with the management. They told me they were going to change pricing policy, some corporate nonsense about not being able to talk to the repair guy. I made some argument comparing this to dealing with someone who doesn't speak english well and even made a kind of racist immitation of this imaginary korean/chinese person. I thought, "that's not like me." I spilled a drink all over the floor which later seemed to be clean....

I was at a gigantic pool at someone's private party. There were multiple gigantic pools. I was with a bunch of female friends who were swimming. I think some of the girls were swimming in the nude. I was clothed and out of the water, talking to them. The water was cold. The party was to last a couple days (reminds me of RWB party from last weekend). I thought, it could take a couple days for this water to heat up (there were water heaters which were on). We could see a bus comming in the distance. A man came along (a pool boy) with a giant hose to suck water out of the pool. Otherwise, he explained, the rising water level would overflow the pool (I was reading about pool boys as sexual metaphore 2 days ago). Everyone was worried it was "our bus" the bus we needed to catch. (this is straight out of yesterday's real events). I ran to catch the bus...

I found my coat on the floor and was shocked that I hadn't noticed it was missing (my coat is becoming a very important sentimental object to me, like my bag). Looking at the object on a dingy marble floor, it radiated warmth and color and goodness....

That's all for now

Wow. Just woke from a very short LD. I went to bed around 2:30 having read about WILD earlier, and my cats woke me up around 5:30. I was almost in SP and I remembered WILD and tried to relax and slip back into dreaming. I don't remember any dreams before waking. For a while I could intensify he SP (it wasn't complete), but then I woke up more and I got up and used the can.

I tried relaxing and doing variations of counting while reciting "I am dreaming." But I lost focus and slipped in and out of sleep. I met someone yesterday - a very cute girl. I remember thinking quite a bit about her in a lascivious fantasy that was day dreaming but I was able to conjure very vivid images of her lips, etc. and I was getting arroused while at the same time slipping into dream. But that faded and soon after that I drifted in and out of sleep.

I remember waking a few times very breifly (like when my roommate got up). I even performed a few reality checks the passed. Once though, I opened my eyes and did not open my real eyes but only my dream eyes and saw a man's face, but I closed them again and then opened my real eyes. Finally I must have really fallen asleep for a while.

I remember I was dreaming about some CDs I own and like very much but haven't listened to in a while (these CD's don't actually exist but were similar to some I really own - an Amon Tobin CD for example which has been on my mind in waking). There was even a collaboration between to artists that I hadn't noticed before [dream sign]. I thought, it's so great I'm getting back into this kind of music (also mirroring real life where I'm leaning toward some ambient I hadn't listened to in while).

One of the CD's I think was a movie which I only remember had "1:00" in the title. I played the movie. It starred Wynona Ryder and Tom Cruise. It was a very cheezy movie from the 90's - a sex comedy. I'd seen it before and liked it because it was SO cheezy and bad. It began with a music video with horrible 90's dance music and Tom Cruise doing bad white-guy dancing with clothes that were way to big for him. Maybe he had suspenders on. His baggy pants were hanging down from his boxers. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and still coming to his wrists. Ryder was dancing too, but I can't remember her. She had better moves though. The camera was moving in and out wildly and they were on an abstract set. My memory of the video with tom is vivid.

Somehow I was with some people, two men, who offered me a web design job about this movie. I thought, how strange that this job should come along just as I'm watching this movie [dream sign]. They had given me the job with a note written on a bright colored chinese take-out box in which they called the movie "It's About Time." There was something about a bartender who had taken covert pictures of the cast during the shooting.

But when I talked to them it turned out to be a joke. Really they were giving me a job for some hospital. I remember playing around with the box. Something odd about this box I thought. We drove out somewhere to meet people about the job. Now things started to get vivid. We were outside and it was night. Beside the building was a utility poll with a large white plastic container strapped to its top. The buildings bright security light was illuminating the poll and part of the container. It was grungy with writing on it. There was some talk of it being toxic. Other people were around behind me.

I was looking for something. I was looking at the detailed texture on the container and the odd drama of lighting. I wanted it to more more textured. I walked around the side of the building in pitch blackness to the back where there was an open door to the inside. I walked inside the very brightly lit room.

Instant lucidity! I saw a very sterile office kitchen - about 20'x20'. There were several office employees inside, one was a 40ish man with a mustache and holding a mug. The detail was impressive at the time but now hard to remember. The walls were bright white. The left wall was your typical cabinets topped with counters with cabinets above those. There may have been an island.

As I said, I knew instantly I was dreaming and I immediatly paniced (lol). But I remembered to shout out "More Lucidity!" I was astonished to hear my voice. I've never tried speaking in a LD before! I felt very very silly yelling this. Like the dream people were thinking, "what an a-hole. who is this guy?" I yelled it not seriously but like you might be convinced to yell something stupic like "Go Team!" at an office meeting.

The LD lasted at most 5 seconds. I immediatly woke up after yelling and my heart was racing and I was still in SP which took a minute to fade.

Not bad. Day two of journal. I was just planning to concentrate on dream recall for a week. Next time I must follow the advice of the Hitchhiker's Guide to Lucid Dreaming: Don't Panic!

Had deep restorative catch up sleep last night. Whatever dreams I had were forgotten before I opened my eyes. All I could think about was rest. A little frustrating to remember completely nothing.

okay in the shower I remembered a snippet - may as well write it down. I was sitting outside a lecture hall with another person. He was a friend, but I don't know who he was. We were both to be taking the class, but it was boring or irrelevant material today, so we were both sitting outside in the hallway, doing are own separate things.

I was typing a story onto a handheld device which looked about the size of a box of pop-tarts and had fake wood-grain exterior like it was made in the 70's. It had a small burgundy style LED read-out like an ancient calculator. I noticed it had a non-QWERTY keyboard, with keys like old type-writer keys, and seemingly way too few keys, yet I was able to type on it anyway with some difficulty. I think some letter were produced by holding down function keys and pressing another letter [this dream is all about device failure].

I think my friend was doing the same thing - typing on his own little word-processor. The professor, a female high-school teacher archetype came over to us and scolded us for not attending class, but she wasn't too upset. We were good students apparently. Soon after, I realized I was using the device all wrong, that I had to rotate it to profile orientation (as opposed to landscape). Now all the keys were different and smaller and like the keys from an old calculator with the little plastic peices surrounded by rubber.

I was having trouble saving my work. Something went wrong and the readout kept scrolling through non-sense text. My friend came over to take a look. Then, this sequed somehow into the device growing much larger and the readout changing to become like a TV with a guy's head in it. Like Max Headroom. Maybe it was even 3D rather than a screen. The head may have been my friend's head somehow. It was all stripes and 80's aesthetic and the head was jerking around eracticaly like Max Headroom. Somehow this was neither disturbing or particularly interesting! Talk about device failure (lol).

The earliest dream I remember was animated with beautiful illustrations. Finally rendered watercolor and colored pencil, all in movement. It was edited like a film. There was a shot looking up of trees passing with branches and leaves at different levels of focus shimmering with late afternoon sunlight from behind. Then it was evening with a suburban neighborhood and whispy night clouds in front of a moon. very dramatic. The 'camera' panned down to a particular home on the street.

Then follow a very strange dream with a whole plot line that I can't remember. But I awoke at one point and could remember much more of it than now before I went back to sleep. The characters started out animated too. The guy why lived in that house had a square head and was a train conductor. There was a neighborhood meeting which started at another housebut it started late and ran late. Then everyone one to square head's house but being a stickler for time, he had shown his segment of the meeting - a screening of a movie maybe - to noone but himself, starting at the proper time. He was a grump basically.

One of the other characters was a little girl who was a puddle of jelly-water with half an eyeball floating in it. Strangeness. She could move the puddle and turn it into watery shapes. And she could see out of the eyeball. Her father was a normal looking guy but was a pervert of some kind. He had an cyborg-alian man servant who he was always yelling at. The alien was red and scally like a draggon, but had an ant-eaters head.

---

next I had a dream where I was a plastic surgeon and a young woman came in who wanted to know her options. Of course, it was necessary for her to strip in order for me to access her options. But she was beautiful and playful. She had wonderful skin. It was very pale, but creamy, and very textured with little soft goose-bumps everywhere. [This kind of overwhelming texture I could get lost in is a definite dream sign]. She had long black hair going down her back. She had the type of breasts that are a particular turn on for me.

I remember thinking at this point that I did not want to be in this role I was playing. I was pinching her to measure fat, and rolling her over to see various body parts. I said nothing needed to be done - she was perfect - but it was my job to recommend something so there was some fat here and there we could lyposuction. I didn't want her to though because I liked the fat. I wanted to somehow leave the room and return as myself and turn this into an erotic dream. But it didn't work out that way :-( [Recognizing that I was in a role was a dream sign too]. Or perhaps it was a metaphore for life. When meeting a new person not to get trapped in a role.

---

I was at someone's house and they had a wall which they could turn in visible with the flick of a switch. Then a bunch of women came over - I think we all went to college together. We all sat on the couch and chatted and laughed and ordered food.

---

FA. I got up to find my roommate still home (rare, but not impossible). Of course, another tip-off was that we were in the house that I grew up in! Then something to do with files on a lap-top, playing movies on the lap top.

---

I was with a friend in a large city square with cobblestones and lamp posts. My friend had a friend who was a living stuffed animal bird. The bird came over to me and made friends with me. He was very nice and cuddly. He was 2-3' tall, very fat and penguin like in shape. He was blue and terricloth textured. His beek was also terricloth rather than beek-like. So like a dolphin's beek. He had short little flipper wings, but he could fly by floating around. He made me happy. That was his job.

I was dead tired again and kept waking up during the night/morning. I would struggle to remember little bits of my dreams, then fall back to sleep in the process. Then the next time I would wake, I'd remember nothing of the previous round and so forth.

No dreams to report. I should get on a more regular sleep cycle for sure.

I'm on the second floor of a dance club set up something like DNA Lounge where 2nd floor is a catwalk around first floor. I'm dancing near the DJ's Someone says it's time for last call. Soon after, those most unpleasant last call lights go on. I

'm with a bunch of friends who are ready to leave the club. I can only remember Regan and Todd are there. I tell my friends that I'm going to stick around and help clean up. (this would be common for me if I was at one of the parties a promoter friend of mine throws. however, neither Ren nor Themby are in this dream). They ask, what would I be doing exactly. I look around and see waiters darting about amoungst empty plastic chairs. The floor is concrete. I say, "just putting things away, carrying things." Unlike real Todd, he is acting like a horny maniac. He has an insatiable and wild look in his eye. He's nibbling Regan's ear and she's butter in his arms. I am suprised to hear myself say to Todd, "I think you need to go take care of something." wink-wink! They are practically taking each other's clothes off already. So they leave.

I follow someone, who is maybe Richard to grab some computer equipment from the back of a small van. The Van seems to be parked indoors. While walking around, we are passed by a tiny cab car. It's a little small length & height wise, but shrunk to be only 3 feet wide or so. For some reason, I am sure that it's a mexican car. I think maybe mexican food is served out of it [just last night I was at a bar and hoping the tamale lady would stop by] Richard says something is missing from his stuff.

I think to myself, yeah this is a bad neighborhood, I've had two ipods stolen here. My memory of stolen ipods in the dream was similar to the real life memory of having had two bikes stolen. Then I remembered that I had found one of the ipods in a locker not long ago. I remembered being in an empty girl's locker room, taking a look at a locker on the bottom row of ~7, maybe 3 from the left, and just opening it with no combination, finding the ipod, but for some reason leaving it there. I decide to go back and get it.

I'm looking around the large building which was a club but is now a middle school. I pass my old middle school art teacher, Mrs. Kittle, in the hallway. She's been looking for me. She says that my design for a boardgame has been turned into a real boardgame by some company. Somehow I know that I won't get any money or credit for having been the original designer. But I think, oh well, it will be cool just to be able to tell my friends that it was my idea, and to see it as a finished product.

I'm in a computer lab with my mother. I want to play around with graphics but there's work to do. A class assignment. I am my current age but everything about the dream seems like I am 10. Probably this was a scene right out of childhood - but not with computers. Basically I am extremely frustrated, on the verge of crying, and making matters much worse than they need to be.

On the monitor, there's a page full of text in two columns on some Quark like program. I select all the text and use some keyboard command which includes holding down the tab key and pressing another key. This causes unintended results. I press the keyboard command several times in a row. I'm not sure what I expect this to do, but the result is that the text box left and right margins grow larger (shrinking the text box) with each press. Then I have to go find the help manual. I remember looking in the index for keyboard commands.

Mom is frustrating me with ever word she says. Basically she's being cute but unsympathetic. Condescending would be the better word. The work has to be done, and she actually trying to cheer me up while at the same time being inflexable about my doing it. But it just makes me madder and madder. I beat my fists against the table! I don't want to do it! It's not working! Stupid-stupid-stupid! Meanwhile mom is working on the computer next to me. She also has a cup of black tea with little tea leaves floating in it. I taste it and it's very sweet [in real life my mom's not much for hot tea, and would never have it with sugar].

I think I call some professor on the phone who's name is listed in the help manual. She appears or was in the room. She says she needs to get her name out of that manual because people are always calling her and it's just left over from a long time ago.

It's time for mom and I to leave. I find out from the professor that I need to pay. I need to pay an installment for the course, for my couple hours use of the computer lab, and various surcharges. I seem to grow mentally into a college student suddenly. I am bitter about the cost. Why doesn't tuition cover all these little charges? It's expensive enough already. I give her some money from my wallet. I think two 20's. She gives me change.

But then I notice that the change are not all dollar bills [dream sign]. Some of them are shorter in length but taller, with a glossy texture. They have full-color pictures on them, I think portraits of European kings or colonial men in powder-wigs. I am aware that these bills are legal-tender within school property. But they'll expire and I've need money for outside of school. I ask the professor if I can exchange them for real money. I think she goes off to find some.

Meanwhile, there's a young boy at the computer table who wants to make a bet with me about something. It might be the prof's son. He is 8 or so and in a good mood. Dream ends.

Lately I'm not getting great sleep. I keep waking up early and going back to sleep several times. There are more dreams in these shorter sleep cycles - I think. I was hoping dream recall would be growing noticably better by this point. But I guess I'm being impatient.

I climb onto the back of a truck that has come to kidnap me. There's a bunch of my stuff inside the truck. I think my bike is in there. I think I'm going willingly, but begrudgingly. The driver is my father and in the passenger seat is my mother. Somehow the truck is as large as a moving van inside, but on the outside it's my dad's old Jeep Cherokee. Except it's colored black.

We are driving through the desert. We are on the run. Cars have been exchanged several times. We drive by the neighborhood and house I grew up in. I'm allowed to grab some last minute items. My present day belongings are in and outside of the house and I've been living there. I don't take anything but I let my cat Blinky out of the house. One of the cat-carriers is at the bottom of a pile of stuff in the driveway. I open the cat-carrier door so that Blinky will have somehwhere to crawl into when it rains. Hopefully, she'll find a neighbor to take care of her. I feel badly about this, but I only have a few minutes. I get back into the car to leave. Later I will wonder why I didn't free my other can, Inky from the house. Or why I didn't plan ahead and get someone to take care of them. But maybe I didn't know this was all going to happen.

We drive to our new home in the dessert. My brother and grandmother are there. We will have new identities (just before going to sleep I listened to an episode of This American Life featuring a gay man taking care of his mother - who sounds like my grandmother. Also featuring gay men's experiences in high-school) I have a long conversation with my brother. We are in good humor about our new identities though I worry for Inky and Blinky. We will have to attend high-school. We decide to pretend to be very stereotypically homesexual. I decide I will join the butterfly catching club where I will prance around effeminately waving a net in the air (lol, probably no gay man has ever done this).

It's all pretty hazy. The only thing from this dream that stands out much is Blinky. She's often in my dreams, but I don't know if there's anything about here in dream world that would tip me off to the fact that I'm dreaming.

I seem to have a clear habit of waking up early after some dreams. Then I want my sleep so spend some time remembering the dreams and go back to sleep. Of course, they're lost after that. So I'm either going to need to write in a notebook or use the digital recorder. Anyway,
---
I'm in a foreign city with a bunch of friends. But we're split up. I'm with my friend Joey. I'm drunk and disoriented (in waking life I'm too hot and twisting and turning in bed). Joey's in a pissy mood - no surprise there. I seem to be doing some kind of outdoor speed dating (though I've never done it in waking life) where I'm talking to a bunch of women briefly one after another, seeing if there's a connection. Joey's observing this. At the end of it, I'm not interested in anyone. Then I see my ex-girlfriend, Michelle. I decide I'm going to go talk to her.

This makes Joey incredibly mad. He can't understand why I don't go out with one of these girls. I say, look I want to, but none of them are a good match for me. You can't expect to meet a good match out of 10 random women. He's mad I'm going to talk to Michelle. He won't have it. Meanwhile, she hasn't seen me and she's walking away. "You don't like anyone because you want to get back with your ex." I say, "No. I don't want to get back with her. I just want to talk to her since she's here."

He's been holding onto my stuff, some papers and my coat (again my coat in a dream), so he tosses it into a large 4-8 lane street where cars are driving by. I have to run into the middle of traffic to rescue my coat - the papers blow away in the wind.

I've had it with Joey. I leave him behind and look for Michelle. I see her in the distance with a crowd of people. But I'm drunk and disoriented this whole time. I seem to have moments of better clarity where I vaguely remember what has just happened. Like I don't remember the specific women from the speed-dating, just the end of it. Anyway, I end up finding Michelle and am greatful. She seems happy too. We go inside somewhere. Something I can't remember about the back of a dump-truck, opening the back of it.

We end up in a hotel room. I get a call from my friends who are back at our apartment getting dinner. I'm lying in bed with Michelle, talking on the phone with the friend, who is female and who I don't know very well. She's telling me about who went where and who's doing what. I'm interested but I want to talk to Michelle. I get the important details and decide I can meet back at the house later, but she keeps going on and on. She will not let me end the conversation. FInally, I have to hang up on her.

Now I tell Michelle (paraphrasing all of this convo.), "I'm so glad I found you". Then to me surprise, she begins to complain. "You didn't find me. I found you. You passed right by me." I said, "I saw you from a distance, but then when I got closer, I lost you in the crowd." She's annoyed, "Yeah I know. You were looking in the totally wrong place. You passed right by me. You didn't even see me when I was right there. _I_ had to grab you." Me: "I'm sorry, I'm so drunk. I wasn't expecting to run into you here."

Now I'm getting annoyed at her. I just want to talk. We have catching up to do. She's obsessing over something pointless. Meanwhile, she's lying on top of me with the full length of her body. I look at her face and I don't find her attractive. She doesn't look like the old Michelle. I'm not interested in her sexually, but I do want to hug her. I just want to hold her again like old times. She doesn't understand that I had to leave Joey, get my coat, then wander around to find her, then hang-up on my friend on the phone (this is somewhat typical michelle).
----
I wake up, all hot and contorted. Blinky is trying to wake me up with all her might. It feels too early but it isn't.

Damn, my digital voice recorder is out of batteries. So I just kept a notebook by my bed lastnight. Good thing. For the two dreams below I just wrote down a couple key words and went back to sleep for 30 minutes. Based on the key words, my recall is pretty good.

---

Again I'm in some foreign city with a bunch of friends. Only I think it's a US city this time. One of the friends is my friend Vanessa. I have an airplane. It's a single passenger plane made of some lightweight clear plastic. I take it to a park with my friends. I don't know how to fly, but I figure it can't be that hard. They say, "That's dangerous!" I say, "Nah, I'll just stay a couple feet off the ground the whole time."

My Dad calls. He is in town too on business. He wants to meet up. We try to make arrangements to meet at some bar. I'm trying to think of a good place so I consult a map. It's a satellite photo map with bright color layover enhancements. I'm not sure what they indicate. Some how I know that Disney world is on this map. But it doesn't look like Disney World. It looks like a drab and smallish convention center.

---

I am prisoner aboard a ship. However, the room which is my prison is my Grandparents den. I am being kept against my will for reasons I don't know. I do know my jailer is my Grandfather, though I never see him (in waking life he is your typical kindly, somewhat senile old man). In the dream he is perhaps my Dad's age. He checks up on me and we talk through the door. There's a large space beneath the door, where he can pass things to me.

After one visit, I see that the key to the door has been left on the floor where I can reach i with my fingers. I begin to plot my escape. How far are we from land? Will I have to swim far, or could I hide on the ship, or somehow contact the outside? I know I'll need to do some reconnaissance in order to make the best escape plan. But how to do it without getting caught? It's only a matter of time before Granddad notices the key is missing.

I decide to take the key and trace it onto some paper. I figure that later I can mould some new key somehow. I replace the key. Very suddenly I find myself in a ver closterphobic place. Apparently, the entrance to my cell/room is a double door with about six inches space between them. I'm trapped inbetween the two doors. This makes me uncomfortable but not panicy. I remember that I can simply open the inner door back into the cell/room.

Then I hear my grandmother calling me sweetly. I look over to see where her voice is coming from, and I notice the large opening to the den that is there in waking life. Sun is streaming in through the opening, and she is standing on the landing just to the other side. I think, how did I never notice this before (dreamsign)?

I think she gives me a banana. In any case, I suddenly am holding a abnormally large by about 15% (dreamsign) , very overripe, yet delicious seeming banana. It is pealed back, but uneaten. The inside has little brownish spots all over the tip. It fascinates me. I wake up.

I had a couple drinks last night and went to be not fuly hydrated. Also I slept with the kitties shut outside so my sleep was lest interupted. Whatever the reason, the dreams were great.

I woke 2.5 hours early naturally because of a dream or dehydration. I was excited and thristy and hungry. Took a while to get back to sleep. I tried to WILD and had similar experience to last time with dream like imagary while conscious, mild SP. But I was eventually lost into a rapid fire dreamworld. I don't remember anything but bits. A frienly dog whose snout was pushed in reverse... Standing outside a fast-food store with a bunch of college kids... Riding a uni-cycle... Meeting a gay couple in the park. A distant cannon which can shoot a stream of water over vast distances showers down on us, but I have a wooden board which I use to shield us... inkblot dragons... a beautiful band poster with flying machines with flags of a strange graphic symbol something like:
____
/
/_ _
/_ _
/

The first one has giant bomb-bay doors - they're all shaped like ships - and giant mechanical wings. Anchored to it is another with a hot air balloon. Anchored to that is another disappearing into the fog, and another, and another... Wish I could remember more. So many interesting bits of dreams in a 120 minute time frame.

Before I woke up the first time, I had a different sort of dreaming. Long with that epic feeling. Including a LD near miss, FA, and flying. I'll have to write about it later though.

Okay, here's the rest. First dream is I have a precious object. It is shaped like a cut diamond, clear, and ~6" in diameter. I don't know what it is or why, but I know that it has earth-shattering importance, and I must seek out the appropriate person to give it to. That is why I am inside a huge building, looking for a priest - a cardinal (I'm not christian, I think the relavence is some sort of spiritual leader). I decend a huge spiraling marble stair case into a room the size of a large warehouse. It's palacial and lavish inside.

Suspended from the cieling is a stone or boulder at least 20' long. It is also cut flat on the top and cut along the sides, like a gem, though some of the stone, perhaps the underside, is still rough. It's in the shape of a tear-drop, only more angular. Something is very familiar about this place and about this object.

I wander down a long hallway with many doors.

---

False awakening. I write in my dream notebook (which I've kept by my bedside only for the past couple days, for jotting down dream notes so I can go back to sleep. In the notebook, I wrote a lot more and remembered a lot more about the above dream). In regards to the powerful feeling of familiarity with the place in my dream, I am convinced that I've dreamed about this very same place in the past. I write "I've been here before!" and I underline that sentence (this I remember quite clearly. I think I'm trying to tell myself here that I'm dreaming. As in, this feeling of familiarity is the feeling of being in a dream). After finishing the journal, I fall back to sleep.


Should have reality checked!!!

---

I'm at the grocery store looking at large glossy magazines. I start reading one with a picture of three gourgeous and glamorous woman on the cover. However, one of the women is noticably less pretty the the other two. She seems like a pretty, but ordinary person, whereas they are super-models. Some man is with me, perhaps I am killing time while he shops.

The woman have one some sort of contest and are going on a plane ride as part of their prize. At this point, I'm inside of this story - it's no longer a magazine article. There's some controvesy as a man in a giant chicken custume ala subservientchicken.com was slated to win. But he's not allowed on the plane - the women are now the winners. I board the plane and leave the women behind. It has lime green seats and a green interior. The seats are not the normal airline stile and the plane is much larger and roomier than a normal one. They are bucket like and come in pairs.

Instead of taking my seat however, I crouch inbetween to pairs of seat on the opposite side of the plane and look out the window. To my surprise, the plane starts moving. The next bit is fuzzy. An inflight movie begins. I move to my seat next to a man who I think is waking life business associate of mine, Josh. In the dream he tells me he is a Galaga expert. We discuss the little joysticks that have Galaga and other games built into it that you just plug into your TV.

In the film, an airline representative, a pretty young woman in flight attendant garb is talking to the mother of a disabled boy. The contest airplane has taken off and left him behind due to technical glitches with the van that was to take him to the airport. The flight attendant is very sorry and very nice, but ultimately there's nothing she can do to change the situation. The mother explains that he is working on his PHD, so it's essential for him to get to his destination. The rep is touched and promises that everything will be fine and in fact, when the boy gets his PHD, that she will buy this woman a gift because she is so sorry about the trouble. The mother asks if the gift could be a Tivo. (lol, seems hillarious now, but it was dramatic then). The flight attendant says, sure.

My memory picks up at the point where the movie gets paused. The display on the screen indicates that the film can be resumed at the hotel at the destination, and that we have until midnight to see the rest without charge. The film unpauses and now it is a cartoon. Two airline people are bound and gagged and trapped in a closet aboard the plane. They are being held hostae by animals. There's a cat and a pig in the story. For some reason I know that everyone watching the film likes the pig and hates the cat. I think, "I like the cat. What's wrong with you people?"

There's something to do with mail delivery. The plane delivers mail by air dropping it, but it must be done in a special pattern. There's an animated sequence, now more like computer graphics, of a plane flying over a map and making loops to drop packages - represented by large red boxes - in special formations.

Now I see a scrolling map, clearly an image printed on paper, and the film zooms out. Even though the scene is now animated, I am now in the scene rather than watching a film. A stop motion animated bird appears. It is happy and carries a red piece of string in its beak. It flies to a window where a man who I think is the film's producer is leaning out. The man is explaining about how great we all think happy little birds are, but birds can be deadly! The soundtrack to the film becomes ominous at this point. It's not show, but explained (and I really heard this somewhere) that if the plane gets too near a flock of birds, they can get sucked into the jet engine and cause the plane to crash. In this case, passengers must always remember to grab an emergency axe, and have a getaway vehicle prepared for when they land.

I realize that I am floating next to the window. I say to the producer, this is silly, from 10,000 feet up, if the plane goes down, we're all just splat!" I decide to leave him to himself and float down to the ground. Then I begin hopping around off of park benches and things. (this is how I always fly in dreams. It's like there's still gravity, but somehow I can will myself against its force by sort of taking very large hops).

I realize I am flying and that you can only fly in dreams. But I don't quite become lucid. I just try to control the dream. But I get scared that I'm not really dreaming and I suddenly have the sensation in my stomach of falling. I wake up - Actually a false awakening - to find that I have fallen out of my bed in my sleep. Then I wake up for real.

5/29/05

Went camping this weekend which is not ideal for DJ'ing, but I wrote one down that was interesting.

I'm in hell, although it's not the standard sort of hell. I just know that whatever this place is, it is hell. There are all osrts of "souls" walking around in various states of agony. The environment is some kind of maze of stone and metal in twisted and jagged forms, with distinct walls and floor. he souls are even more distorted. They shift in and out of forms which are vaguely human. Sometimes I can make out tortured faces. Other times they seem composed of smeared or exploded metal in floating shapes that have no concern for gravity or physics. This is clearly some sort of transitional reality.

I'm not afraid or upset, however. I know that I'm different from them somehow. I know that I have a mission to accomplish. I'm not sure I know exactly what it is (or if I did I don't remember), but it has something to do with finding and making contact with one of the souls and getting from it a song or to make it realize that it has a song. I find him easily - I just know it's him. I make some kind of contact with him which is non-verbal and non-physical, but it causes him to stop his aimless wandering.

As we communicate he begins to take on a normal human form. It's something like puddles of mercury that were hanging in space coming together to create the form. He is a 40-ish man in a business suit. He's balding, a bit overweight, and has a large mustache. He kind of looks like the old Dunkin Donuts cross-dressing spokes person. He is carrying an accoustic guitar with him. He seems confused and harried now rather than in agony.

I communicate to him something of the importance of his song somehow, and as I do so, I seem to absorb what is in his mind and the rest of the mazelike scenery quickly takes on recognizable forms. It's like a broken VCR tape getting past a point of static. It's also like a computer 3D model being rendered at successive levels of realism. I think the location is a subway station. The train is in the station, and he is either getting on or getting off when I stop him. I am aware that we are still in hell, but we are sharing a reality in order to communicate. However, I wake up at that moment.

The main one I remember is: I'm at some sort of school event, probably university, with a bunch of friends. Suddenly men from the military "raid" the event. I am carrying a small glass pipe, which I quickly hide in my back pants pocket. Sure enough the soldiers surround my group of friends and take us up on stage. They seem out to humiliate us rather than arrest us. One of them finds my pipe after searching me (this bust theme has been in a couple dreams since the other night when my camp was "busted" by a park ranger for being awake after quiet hours).

He then takes me outside into a large dusty courtyard. He yells at me to stand "over there" but isn't making "there" clear at all. I say "where?" and he says "there". He gets very annoyed that I can't figure out where to go. I calls me an idoit then grabs me by the hands and spins me around and around before letting me go so that I fall. I stumble over in the direction he sent me, really pissed. Then I realize, okay, you're allowing yourself to be fucked with. You're playing his game by getting mad and insisting you're not an idiot. He knows as well as you do that there's no way to know where "there" means.

nothing to see here

Lucid dream #2 since starting the journal! Unfortunately, like the last time, it lasted only seconds. I had to get up several hours earlier than normal today for work. But this gave me th opportunity to practice WILD after I got back home. I didn't succeed, but I went to sleep again reciting in my head "I will awaken in my dreams." I slept almost precisely 90 minutes before going lucid. What I remember is brief (warning - erotic content):

I'm in a large bed with an attractive woman who is somewhat older than me. She has sumptuous curly redish-brown hair. The bed is in a room next to large bay windows in an apartment building on the 3rd or higher floor. It's sunny outside but pleasantly dim and softly lit inside. For some reason her face is a blank to me. She's lying down, wearing a men's white button-up collar shirt that a little to big for her. She's wearing nothing below the waist. She has long beautiful legs. In between her legs is very beautiful as well.

Even as I notice this, the mood is not erotic, however. It's very comfortable. This woman is a teacher or healer or therapist. I find her beautiful, but I'm trying to pay attention to what she has to say (although I don't remember her saying any words at all). She then gets up from to sit on her knees on the bed. She is wearing a very-light green fuzzy cloth visor. I look past her and out the window. In the background I see the tops of some trees with green leaves gently blowing in the wind, and a San Francisco style victorian apartment building beyond that.

Suddenly I see two woman float up from below. They are intertwined tightly and playfully. They also have long curly hair. They are laughing and writhing exstatically together as the float upward out of view. Again, this strikes me now (as I recall) as extremely erotic, but at the time it was just sort of pretty and nice. Then I thought, wait a minute here.... people can't fly... can they? I better do a reality check. The first one I think of is to read something. I look at the teacher's visor and something is written on it. Naturally, being a dream, I'm unable to make it out.

I start to get a little giddy. I think maybe I'm dreaming. But I want to confirm. I feel slightly embarrased because it seems a completely inappropriate time to do an RC, right in front of someone while they are trying to teach you something. So I'm trying to be discreet about it. I say, "What's that written on your hat?" And I try to pronounce it outloud. The sylables I pronounce are "ahk-tee-nuh". Then I'm sure I'm dreaming. Reality check failed! I'm officially lucid.

Too bad the dream instantly begins to fade. Not because I'm over-excited, I'm just getting too conscious. I don't have time to think to spin or do anything else before it's gone. Anyways, I looked at the clock and there was just enought time to do a journal entry about this before getting ready to go out again. Infact, my alarm clock was going off as I typed the last sentence. Gotta go!

Very sneaky of my dreams to put me in a position where I didn't feel comfortable to RC. Although, in reality, no one can tell when you are doing it other than you might seem momentarily distracted. Then again, I'm also thinking, if I hadn't gone lucid, maybe I would have learned whatever this dream teacher was trying to tell me. Then again, maybe she was trying to tell me I was dreaming.

Something about going to my friday networking meeting but it was at a different place with all different people [dream sign]. There was a circular white leather couch we all sat around facing inward. It was boring - which is unusual. These people suck! They don't care what they're doing. I had to remind people to stand and clap. Some really arogant young business men.

While talking to one later who is a dot-com guy, I hold a handful of dry spegetti (made spegetti last night for the first time in a while. I'm more of a fusilli guy :-) I spend a long time straightening all the sticks to be even on one end, then flipping to the other end where the ends of the sticks are now all uneven, and straightening them. They behave in ways which defy physics [dream sign]. I think this is strange. I am engrosed in dry spegetti.

--

Somewhere in there was a false awakening or two. One I remember I was just lying in bed with my eyes closed, slipping back into sleep. I thought, I should do an RC. But I was so sleepy. I just went back to sleep within the dream. The next FA was elaborate. My roommate had two attractive girlfriends over before I woke up. I woke up and they came into my room and saw me tucked in snuggly and told me I was cute. I asked like a little kid, "do I have to get up too?" They said, "No, sweetie. You go back to bed." and I did - in the dream (sneaky dreams).

--

I'm in a kitchen at night time with two men (which reminds me - there's always some periferal undefined character in my dreams. Like the FA above, my roommate has to friends, but only one is defined. There always seems to be some extra person there besides the dream character I'm talking to. This is some kind of consistant dream sign). So anyway, one man is a cop, a young guy who is an aquaintance. He looks like my old co-worker Luke. Or at least he has that nice-guy but somewhat suspicious of you attitude. He is off-duty, but still in uniform.

It's a nice kitchen, I think we're all in a vacation house. Me and the cop are standing on opposite sides of an island. I think he's washing dishes. I'm chopping vegetables. To my left is a large wall of glass that reflects the dim lights and kitchen scenery so that I don't see outside. The island has stone countertop and the kitchen has fancy brushed metal appliances. The other dude is also on the cop's side of the island doing something else. They are more in the kitchen, I'm in an area that opens up into another room.

We have a discussion about my car which has a car alarm which keeps going off (now, in waking life, I hate car alarms. They are stupid, accomplish nothing, should be outlawed. I don't even have a car in waking life.). But in the dream my car has an alarm and its faulty. The cop says he's going to have to arrest me if it goes off when he's around and on duty. Apparently it is against the law to have a car alarm in this dream! I don't want the alarm on my car, but it's an old beater car which came with one. I can't afford to get it fixed.

Apparently I'm just passing through this area (vacationing?) whereas the cop lives here. I think we're in the mountains. I don't feel like explaining to this guy the whole situation. I guess I even simpathise a little with the ordinance. But I'm also thinking, 'gimme a break, dude. why are we even discussing this now?' But he won't let it drop. "Just be warned." I'm annoyed but I say to him matter of factly, "You gotta do what you gotta do." I don't know why, but this phrase stands out so much from the dream. It's like nothing I ever said was more true to the situation at hand. At once to him it's saying, "okay - I get it - you'll arrest me - you have to because your a cop - end of conversation." And in my mind it's like "this is the situation, we have our roles to play, I don't have to like it, but there's nothing I can do to change it, no point in vilifying this guy."

Something comes on the radio. It's the voice of Sylvester Stalone and Robert DuVall. Sly is talking about himself smoking marijuana. It's like BBC or NPR or something. The reporter comes back on and says that Sly and DuVall had visited a poverty stricken country back in the seventies (somewhere in asia or near Indonesia). They predicted it would be a disaster now without massive aid. But now this country is doing well economically. I think to myself, "yeah, but what about the facism? what about the brutal regime? Sure there are some rich bankers, but there's still massive poverty there." (my typical sentiments, even though this country is no specific country in waking life).

My father, mother, and brother come into the room. I turn away from the island and greet them. There are some photos someone has hung on the wall of my and my grandfather. In one I am climbing a tree and I'm wearing a bunch of climing gear, a helmet, a jacket but no shirt so my chest is exposed, pants and thong underwear (WTF?). For some reason everyone thinks I look very sexy/macho/hunky. And I agree. This seems odd to me as my style is typically handsome/cute if I'm dressing up, but never macho/sexy. I am both flattered and embarrased by the attention the photo is getting.

There's also a picture of my grandfather which I can't recall. There's debate over whether or not it's embarrasing. My mother and brother want to take it down off the wall before my grandfather and grandmother arrive. But my father and I say it's fine - he wouldn't be embarrased by it. We decide to leave it up.

My brother has gifts for my parents. He opens a tupperwear container and takes out a replica of my mother's hand, ending at the wrist, which he says he has sculpted. I am amazed because I never knew my brother could sculpt (in fact, in WL he can't), and because this hand is exact and perfect in every detail. I rotate it at various angles, except I don't look at the palm. I am amazed at how ever bump is perfectly captured. Every ridge of the knuckles, every wrinkle. I touch it and it's exactly flesh-like. Like a top layer of flesh covers a layer beneath. It's squishy but springy, moves a little but is attached. The color is also perfect. Pale with a pinkish glow coming from within, soft grean veins in intracate detail. Variations in skin tone. It is a perfect replica of my mother's hand!

I say, "I didn't know you sculpted!" He just shrugs. Then he gives me mine. I open the tupperwear container. My hand is sitting in a pool of muddy water. It is covered partially by small flate, slate-like grey rocks. There is bright green living moss growing in and around the rocks and my hand. The water sloshes around in the container. My sculpted fingers are muddy. I wonder if I will be able to keep the moss alive over time. Again, I don't look at the palm. I wake up.

Now this is interesting because my favorite quick RC is to look at my hand, starting with the back, then the palm. I got this from somewhere. It's quick. Supposedly your dream hand will not look right. So here in this dream I'm looking at my dream hand, and it doesn't look right. But I don't think I'm doing a RC - I don't even think it's my hand since it's supposedly a sculpture. Sneaky dreams.



hand gifts, photos of me in a tree, car alarm and cop, indonesian brutality, celebrities on the radio discuss marijuana,

been slack about this lately. mainly from not getting proper sleep. Also because I've been frustrated that my dream recall hasn't improved as much as I'd like. back in the day I could really do it well.

I'm with two new friends, a couple, at a small circular table (cafe style) outdoors in a park. It's evening. I'm trying to play them some music that I like from a small stereo. I think it's AIR or something french. But as a play it, some other completely clashing music plays at the same time [device failure]. I really want to impress them and I think they'll like this music. But I also worry that I'm playing something to weird or abstract.

There are a lot of other tables and other people in the park. It's getting dark. We're here for some sort of event. I see a woman who has a small glass pipe exactly like mine. I'm surprised as mine is somewhat unique, so I study it and sure enough, same color, same streak of sparkly stuff inside. But then on second look it's much bigger than mine. It's about a foot long with a cereal sized bowl at the end. She looks at me looking at her.

I go up a steep hill where many people are sitting on the ground. and see my friend Max and his girlfriend. As in real life, I avoid him. I'm slipping around trying to navigate this steep hill and get around all the people sitting on the ground. He sees me. He wants me to come over. I try to but I'm far away now. Someone finds me and drags me over to him.

I wake up from my alarm, try to remember my dreams, then go back to sleep. After 30 min snooze:

I'm on artificial fishing trip - a new form of entertainment. I select a type of fish from a computer screen menu. Some are free, some not. I choose a free one. Then I go out on a real paddle boat with a representative from the company, a female. I pretend to hold a fishing pole, while she really holds one. I pantomime casting, then realing in slowly. We are by the bank. I ask her what type of location in the pond this fish likes. I reel in and cast again, this time into the center of the lake. I see something move under the water and right away there's a bite. I jerk the pole, then reel in. I pretend to struggle with it, but finally pull it in. Meanwhile the rep really reels in and pulls up a toy plastic fish out of the water. It has a big small and fishing like goes into a little hole in its mouth. I pull out the line, there's no hook. I show the fish to my friends who are also back from their fishing trips.

On shore we meet a dog. It's late afternon. I'm with different people now. I think a younger female. It's our dog who has been missing for a while. It's acting all funny like it doesn't recognize us. He's a mix breed, similar to a shepard or collie. He's making short woof or huff noises while looking around warily. I approach him slowly, then lean down and hug him. It's so fun to hug a big dog. I wrap my whole body around him and squeaze him and it feels good. He calms down now. Everything's going to be okay now.

---

I'm in my house (not like my WL apt) with my sister (who is younger than me unlike WL). The bathroom is near the apt. front door. It's morning and we both need to shower before heading off. She's in a towell. She let's me go first. I go into the bathroom and look into a steamed up mirror at myself. I look like an older Harry Potter. I have the hair (which at the moment I think looks good on me) and the glasses (no glasses in WL). I wake up.

that was my mantra last night and it came true.

I'm at a new church (I don't attend church in WL) at a very long table. Outside they are still buidling the various chuch buildings in the complex. There are not enough members of this church. It's silly for us to sit at this long table with everyone spaced apart by several chairs. I see Josh from BNI there (at BNI we also sit a long table and for a while were short on members). They come around and serve us salad and we have to choices (also like BNI). At my plate I find a very old, black, dirty, rusty ring (clearly a dream about BNI which is today, but what's the connection with church?).

---

I'm watching a TV movie. A reporter is about to talk to the cops about something and is fearful for her safety. She's confiding in a friend. The movie turns out to be a prequil to the TV show, "Who's the Boss." Only at the very end of the movie, which is a serious drama does Tony show up acting like his regular goofball character. The movie ends and the TV shows a boardroom where producers are reviewing data about the ratings of the movie and they say, "This Tony guy is huge! We've got to change the whole format of the series. It's all about Tony!!"

Still TV, now an interview between Bill Cosby and a young Malcolm Jamal Warner. There talking about something very serious. And to underscore that fact, the music overdubbing the conversation becomes very dark and serious ala E! True Hollywood Story. I think, this is very cheezy!

The next chose comes on. It's a move about kids in boarding school in england. I can tell that it was shot on film and is from the 70's or 80's - it looks old and desaturated. The kids go to school in these mahogany wood filled classrooms. Everything's very nice and dark wood from the chairs and desks to the walls. I remember thinking this show has very good music - it's contemporary rock music which is too new for the look of the film. One of the kids tries to bully another kid who has a guitar. But that kid has none of it and smashes the guitar over the bully's head.

Finally there's something about a very greasy key and trying to open a box.

---

Woke up 2.5 hours early. I wake up with the tune "I'm gonna let it shine" in my head which seems odd because I'm not particularly fond of the song, but in the dream it was great music. Took some notes on my dreams. Decided I'm too tired for WILD. Slept more and dreamed a bunch of dreams.

One really vivid scene was climing a street on a steep hill and when it levels out at the top, seeing a spectacular view of a vast cityscape with a starry night sky behind and trees in the forground swaying in the wind. In the dream in was NYC and in my head a song was playing - a real song about NYC - but I don't know who sings it. But actually once awake, I recognized the cityscape as my home town of San Francisco.

---

Interesting false awakening. I was half-asleep in my dream with my eyes closed. I was napping somewhere with my head against a table. Three asian ladies were also at the table. One was talking about me. She said, "look he's smiling in his sleep." And I could feel that I was smiling. Then I started to drift further into sleep and was feeling sad for some reason - that was the feeling of my dream's dream. She said, "oh no. look now, he's upset about something." When I heard her, she seemed so overly concerned that it amuzed me and I laughed to myself. "Oh! Now he's smiling again!"

I was afraid that she would think I was just pretending to be asleep to get a rise out of her. Then I thought, well if you're listening to her then you're not asleep, so wake up. So I tried to wake up but couldn't. My body was frozen. It did succeed in waking up finally but only into the dream and not into lucidity.

Not much to report today.

I remember a snipet where I adopted two more cats (I have 2 in WL), which is far too many cats. And they had flees which then spread to my cats. I decided to put Advantage flee goo on them but after applying it, it turned out to be sunblock (which I was using yesterday).

I'm with a bunch of friends from Tuesday nights at a vacation house or else one of their houses. Jen C. is coming too. She has a new boyfriend who for some reason hates me. I'm explaining to my friends that he's way out of line and I call him "a freak", not realizing that Jen is standing right there. Then I have to explain to her why I said that - that I didn't mean to be insulting. She seems to understand and think he was out of line too.

----

A dream ends with a very strong image of a natural vista at dusk. A bunch of pine trees have grown together in such a way as to form a man-line shape. Sort of the shape of the burning-man man (which has been on my mind lately). A telephone wire leads off into the distance, passing behind the tree man. Someone tells me that when a group of trees grows like that, it's called ______. (can't remember the name) and it has some great significance.

I wake up. My WL cat wants to come in the room and is meowing loudly. I tell her to stop a couple times and fall back to sleep (for got to do reality check!)
----

I'm vacationing with my mom and dad. Dad has a new dog which is a tiny fluffy little thing. Not usually my kind of dog, but this one is very cute. They are unpacking the car into the vacation house (again with the vacation house?), so I play with the dog. I have some kind of cool new camera-phone. It's colored candy red. It has a million features and buttons and levers, and I have no idea how to use it, yet I do (in other words, typical dream device). I remember thinking I should be using a flash, but oh well, I don't know how. I go outside and the dog follows. I say, "he's like the little lamb" (which I often say about my cat in WL, i.e. mary's little lamb who follows her around). But I think mom and dad are worried that the dog will get lost outside.

My sister and brother arrive. Famil reunion I guess. But I find out that they are now cocaine users. We all decide to get high on cocaine but still have to sneak it around my parents who don't approve. Strangly, though my siblings approve of cocaine snorting, the still don't approve of pot smoking. I decide I want to smoke, and have to hide from everyone. I get inside my dad's truck and begin to change my clothes (don't know why). For some reason no one will leave me alone. I say, "hey, I'm trying to change my clothes here. how about a little privacy?" which they just seem to scoff at - saying "like we've never seen you in your underwear." Really I just want privacy to smoke.

I leave the car and go into the backyard of the house. Mom and dad are working on a grill. It's a summer afternoon. A bunch of my friends are around in back too. We all decide to take a walk in the hills behind the house. We come across a giant fair for kid. I worry about being caught with drugs near a school. I go to a strange booth where you're supposed to go into the little booth and see something cool. But it's malfuncationing. The people running it are trying to tie food to a string. I've lost everyone else. The fair is closing. I see a bunch of shallow wide gutters with water flowing through them built in a maze like pattern. A maintenance man is working on them. Someone else is lying in the gutter with his girlfriend, fooling around. The maintenance man remenisces about when mary-go-rounds used real horses instead of plastic ones on poles.

Hi there!

Wasup said you wanted me to adopt you! I'm flattered. Though not very LD experienced, I would love to adopt you and hope I can be of some help. I told him that's okay with me. I have'nt had a chance to read your whole journal but I've read the first few and plan on reading the rest when I have time. Your dreams sound about as strange as mine and your recall of details in some parts and fuzzyness in other parts is similar to my entries too. Journaling really helps with recall. I think just browsing this site helps to induce LD's! I've been keeping dream journals for years in notebooks but was glad I found this site so I don't have to write anymore. I LOVE going back and reading my old dreams, it's funny when you can' t remember having them but reading what you wrote, and it sounds so silly! Hit me up anytime on email, YIM, or on here.
Selena

P.S. it always feels like a pain in the ass to wake up and immediately go type your dreams....I always want to wait but I'm always glad when I do it first thing, b/c you remember so much more......

A very unpleasant dream last night in which I need to pee and can find no appropriate place to go (This is a huge dream sign! But I didn't think to do an RC). I am at a huge party at my grandparent's house - (I think it was a family reunion, but it was a much bigger house and much bigger family than in WL). Every bathroom I go into has something wrong. In one, the toilet is overflowing with waste in a most disgusting way. In another, there's no toilet, only a tub. And I would have gone there except the wall behind it is made of glass and there's a living room full of people on the other side. Another bathroom also lacks privacy, but I decide to be anyway. However, the toilet is stopped up and the water overflows onto the floor and soaks into a large pile of TP, plus I splash all over my clothes. I'm very frustrated, thinking "Why don't these people get there friggin toilets fixed!!"

I go to wash my hands in the sink, and just as I put my hands under the water, I pull them out because I'm wearing a watch. I think - woops! - gotta remember to take the watch off first. Plus it's a brand-new watch and a gift from someone and it has some special abilities like maybe it's a phone too (again, huge dream sign, I don't wear a watch in WL). I wake up.