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Greetings. After much delay i have decided to begin a journal here. Herein shall be the records of whichever dreams (lucid or non-lucid) i feel would be of general interest. Also, i am hoping it will be a motivating factor for myself, inspiring more frequent lucid dreams.
i am disabling replies for the sake of keeping it clean and uncluttered, but if you wish to comment on a particular entry, please PM me. any feedback welcome :)
setting- in a room upstairs in an unfamiliar house.
i am with a vague DC. in the adjacent room there is an old man who is holding us captive with his assistant. i am ironing the latter pages of a book smooth, stopping occasionally to write in pencil, then ironing over the writing again.
everyone leaves inexplicably, and i am left alone. a vehicle arrives at the end of the driveway, and gets nearer. it's headlight shine through a large window, and i am fearful of being spotted. i struggle to break out through a door at the back of the room, succeeding and squeezing outside just before the headlights illuminate the doorway.
i am on a patio and jump into water below before awakening.
setting-auditorium at glad tidings church-
George W is speaking on stage. i somehow manage to walk on stage without being stopped, and sit down a dozen feet or so from him, on his left. in my pocket is a gun, with three distinct parts which screw together.
i struggle with whether or not to shoot him. it is quite a internal uncertainty. i think thoughts such as
"i will never have this chance again"
"i wonder if one shot will do it?"
"if i get him right in the temple he should instantly die"
"if i only wound him, will the secret service gun me down before i can finish it?"
"what's the use? won't another just take his place...?"
etc.
eventually i decide against it.
Ladders and rope.
Man and daughters.
Falling to ground or staying stranded.
i find myself sitting in a shallow, still pool, out in the open. It is mostly dark out, and the light is shimmering off of the water very subtly and mysterious.
the water comes to just over my waist. There is a strange transition about three feet in front of me, where the water's appearance changes to a state somehow similar to ice.
the light is absorbed and reflected differently. i slide my hand though the water the surface film and marvel at how realistic it feels, starting to become lucid.
a wave of ripples and indulations swirls outwards, interplaying with the most beautiful colours.
i am now lucid (medium level). i look behind me and see a white pathway leading down to the edge of the water. about thirty feet away it intersects with a crossroads. two blurry figures are just choosing to walk away, parallel to the water. i mentally beckon them, and wave my hand.
they approach. one is a buxom blonde, and the other is a light black girl with luminous green eyes. i lose lucidity for a second, before snapping back.
the blonde is gone, and the black girl's shirt is open, showing perfect breasts. i start masturbating, as she is crouched, her face near my waist level. a boy appears next to her and starts leaning in, starting to take prominence. i ignore him, and he dissappears.
i want to ejaculate in the girl's face, but she stands up against my will. i don't want her to touch my member for fear of awakening. however, she grabs it and presses it against her lower stomach, just above her white panties.
next thing i know i am somehow pentrating her while we both stand. soon i grab her thighs and lift her to straddle me. the sounds are very realistic, and i wonder if somehow they are coming from the physical realm. i build up and as i near climax i want to pull out and blow my load on her face.
i awake.
i am in my bedroom. i have chunks of a black substance which i know to be human lung. i am crushing them on a book cover. someone comes in, and i hide what i am doing by placing a 'chess moves' book over top of it.
*smoked up the night before, so its unusual to remember such a distinct dreamt the early morning after*
i am in a strange house, though it vaguely resembles that of my childhood. i feel my mouth and throat begin to fill with a gum/gunk substance (which is somwhat common, and a dreamsign for me, although its never helped me become lucid).
i remember for a vague moment that this phenomenon only occurs while dreaming. however, it intensifies, threatening to choke me, and so i lose the beginnings of lucidity. my head even swells up, big and round, and i fear that my throat will constrict completely. i go into joes room and tell him i need a ride to the hospital.
i reach into my mouth, near the back of my throat, and tear a huge chunk out to free up the air passage. intstead of being the proto-typical unidentifiable gunk, it is a perfectly shaped tongue, with a small torn circle at one end where i plucked it from the back of my throat.
i mash it together in my hands. i walk into another room while i wait for joe, and see a couple girls (vaguely resembling two i met the night before). i shape the plasticky mass in my hands into a tongue and put it between my lips, hanging downwards. they go "ew".
joe and i drive around for awhile looking for a doctor i've never heard of. i wonder why we don't just go to enns, or the hospital.
Felt intense vibrations suddenly begin. quite intense. it felt like i couldn't breathe, but i didn't move or panic, as the last few SP sessions i felt a similar sensation, and i was curious to see what would happen.
i hear a male voice similar to Joe's (brother), and felt a presence next to my bed. i lose concentration for a second, along with vibrations.
i lie still, and the vibrations return, along with the voice, presence, and the muffled sound of a rod striking a hard surface. the voice is saying "you little bitch..." in a malicious tone. i waited, calm, knowing i had at least an hour to lay there, and determined to WILD.
soon i 'pop out' of my body, and roll to the side. i chase the entity outside my bedroom door, and around the corner, never quite getting a good look. somehow though, i manage to snag a finger in my teeth and bite viciously. the entity disappears.
(this was probably the strangest inducement of a lucid yet. it was as if i was visited by an apparition who tested my concentration, and i managed to chase it away and continue with a lucid..)
i can only see out of my left eye clearly. when i open my right, everything becomes blurry, akin to when one just wakes up. i look mostly through my left to avoid losing lucidity, and gradually open my right.
find myself on my back patio. i pasue for a second, then jump off, hovering for a second, before gaining altitude. my perception is quite blurry. i am told by a voice to 'look at the water'. i look down, and notice my entire backyard is now deeply flooded. i struggle to focus on the ripples, but clarity fades in and out.
i swoop down, and run on the surface of the water like an upright jesus lizard for twenty or thirty feet. this is the most realistic part of the dream. i can hear the splashing very distinctly. i start laughing. for a second i wonder if i am making any noises in bed (as i talk during my sleep). then i think "who cares" and start laughing full out at the absurdity of the situation, still running on the water.
(for some reason i rarely speak in my lucids. this has something to do with being quiet and introverted in real life. in my future lucids i will make a point to yell loudly, or sing)
dream starts fading, i hover for a second, then drop into the water and tread. the realism of my churning limbs reasserts tactile clarity, but not visual. i decide to submerge myself and swim underwater. however, my lucidity is not full, and i keep my eyes closed :roll: and only stay under for ten seconds or so, as if normal breathing is applicable to the situation.
i emerge and look at the backside of my house before losing lucidity completely.
the scene switches to a peak which is built on the rear left side of my house, normally non-existent. there is a window in the center, and a bedroom inside. a bunkbed is near the window, and the top mattress is level with the windowsill. a girl is sitting upright in bed, her legs dangling outside. i identify her as myself.
i am/she is remembering the lucid dream we just had, and thinks she has awoken. her mom briefly comes in to see if she is alright.
the girl (myself) is worried, wondering how she came to sit on the windowsill. she thinks she might have been moving in the recent lucid, and almost flung herself to serious injury or death while dreaming.
the perspective zooms out to third person. she is average/slim build, about 18, with shoulder length light brown hair.
been awhile, and i'm bored...i just realized i don't put the month in front of my dates, so they are essentially useless.
18- i am injured somehow, and in a hospital/psyche ward. Trevor (dealer) is on the near-by bed next to me. he is enshrouded in a transparent plastic, as if recovering from burns.
i watch in 3rd person as he strokes my cheek with his finger, then crawls half onto my bed, and says "don't you just ever feel glad for who you are? you know...love your body, and want to go home.."
i feel wierded out, especially because of the context.
5- a) mention is made that a chemical reaction is what is responsible for a particular musical tone. a "clang", as it is called.
B) later, doris asks me if i have found all the layers of my name. i say "no. limitations don't really exist".
13-in a public venue. A scientific looking man is discussing the benefits of "fat" to an audience. As my field of vision zooms in, he incises a mass which is on a metal trolley, and cuts through to the phosphlipid bilayer. (the mass is a cell, except much larger and elongated not sperical).
the visuals are extemely graphic as he cuts through the outer membrane to expose the bilayer, complete with hydrophilic 'heads' and hydrophobic 'tails'.
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 -heads
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllll -tails
space
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllll -tails
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 -heads.
as i look on morbidly with detached awareness, he tears out writhing handfuls of the tails/tentacles, and proceeds to throw them at audience members...
17- a woman with dark skin (middle eastern) is playing a violin. what is noteworthy is that the bow ends very sharply, and she is playing in such a way that it pierces her left cheek at varying angles with each draw of the bow.
i cringe and 'look' away, but can still 'feel' it for quite some time, and am fully aware of the angles at which it is piercing her.
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*sighs* i haven't had a fuckin lucid in over two weeks...and i am finding it hard to care about my dreams much anymore. most nights i don't even bother writing in my dreamjournal.