Thread: brain burner's journal

03/11/06 First successful WILD!! (second LD)

I had four dreams total, the first of which i can't remember...

2. False awakening: I woke up to see my dad standing at the side of the bed just kinda staring at me and he wouldn't respond at all. Then I fell back asleep.

3. Ghost?: I found myself looking over a chest-high terra cotta wall with barbed wire tacked on it and a grassy field beyond it. The weather was a grey overcast, like it was about to rain. I remember thinking it wouldnt be too hard to just jump the wall, but then i turned around and started walking back to a school building of the same terra cotta color. I went past the building then saw some kind of ghost or something, with hazy blueish smoke around it. Tried to chase after it but I couldn't run, and that's when I realized i was dreaming so I started flying toward it. I tried to shoot lightning at the ghost but it wouldn't work, and it outran me. Everything then went black and I attempted spinning to regain control, but I didn't.

4. Another False Awakening: Felt someone's hand nudging my side and I kind of groaned then went back to sleep. Never opened my eyes.

Took a nap later that day:

1. Office Firefight: I was running through some kind of office building with some friends of mine. We all had M4s or guns of some kind and shooting stuff, though i can't remember what. After we got out of the building there was a junk yard with a bunch of cars and bullets firing off everywhere.

03/12/06

I can barely recall this dream and could not remember until i was going to bed the next night, which is interesting.

1. Invasion: I was in a bunker with a few other ragtag soldiers defending from some kind of invasion, but I can't remember exactly what was going on. Outside was alot of city ruins and it was snowing. That's pretty much everything i can remember.

3/20/06

So I took a nap in the afternoon, woke up at about 9 pm, then went back to bed at around 1 am. I proceeded to have 4 lucid dreams all together (i recall becoming lucid 4 different times), definitely a first for me . All of them were very similar as far as setting but i can recall that they were seperate dreams. I held my nose and tried breathing to induce all four.

1-2: Both took place in the kitchen of my house, it was night time outside. As soon as i became lucid i tried various things such as making my cat fly around the house and launching a car (which i could see outside the kitchen window) right into a mailbox. I also tried looking at my hands to see the details but it kind of faded into blobs of color then i think i lost control at that point.

3: I was sitting at my computer in my room in this one. I could see outside my window that it was night time and the sky was dark and cloudy, but a strange dark blue color. When i became lucid i went on the dream views forums and i was talking to a friend who was saying he wasn't sure if he wanted to try lucid dreaming. Afterwards i tried looking at the detail of my hand again, and could see it very clearly this time.

4: I was at my old house instead of my current one, same night time setting. A familiar looking man crawled in through my bedroom window and told me he was going to be staying in my home for a while. I remember becoming lucid but I don't think i did anything much.

It's notable that before i went to bed i drank a big cup of chamomile tea, along with taking a multi and e vitamin. Could have contributed to this lucid streak.

4/9/06

I've kinda been neglecting my journal though i didnt have any terribly exciting dreams while i did. They're starting to come back though. I tried to do another WILD but i kept drifting off too easily. I did have one dream though after that.

1. Virus: I was working on my computer doing something with the cables behind it (which ran through a hole in the floor). There was a water hose with all the cables and i remember thinking "Why would i need water here?"... I shoulda gone lucid at this point . I continued messing with the cables and the water hose broke open, water started spilling everywhere and on my computer. The monitor kept flashing splotches of color and "VIRUS DETECTED". I realized I was dreaming at this point but the dream was already fading and i couldnt gain control (tried spinning).

4/12/06

1. City Jumping: I remember jumping around some kind of city structure, with steel girders and platforms and such. I was lucid, but i had little control.

4/13/06 (afternoon nap)

When i was falling asleep it's notable that i felt really strange. Even just as i was laying down i could feel things getting onto my bed and hear voices to go along. I wouldnt think much of it if i were deep into WILDing but this was right as i was beginning to fall asleep. I fell asleep pretty quickly after that though. Maybe i was just really tired, or its the medication i'm taking. It suffices to say that it was a very strange feeling, though.

1. Failed RCs: I can't remember much about this dream but i do remember that my RCs kept failing. When one finally did work, i had almost no control over what i was doing but i knew i was dreaming.

2. Mountain: I was up on a mountain with two friends of mine, on a steep icy hill. There was a cave at the top of the hill, with some kind of creature in it but i forget exactly what it was. Near the top of the hill there were two memorial plaques (like the ones at state parks, with the date when it was made etc). The plaques had flowers around them though, and on the back side of them there was a gold plate which said something like "IN MEMORY OF:" but i forget who's name was printed there.

3. Driving home: This dream tied in nicely with the latter, as it began in an ice cavern. My brother, my dad and I all got in the car and were ready to go (though im not sure how we drove out of this cavern) but right then a lady and her daughter (probly 16 yrs or so) asked to used our car. This was strange because in the dream we felt obliged to let her use it (kind of like when the police ask to use your car). The daughter handed me a black leather bag, a pair of headphones, and a bowl of salad (significance? ), as if to keep them secret while we drove home. We came home just fine, the lady and her daughter left and took the stuff they had gave me back. When i got inside my brother started bothering me to pay him back money for groceries he had bought a week or so ago or something.

4/14/06

1. Abandoned House: I was inside a huge dilapidated mansion which was arranged somewhat like a mall inside, with benches along the walls. There were two stories in the structure and the second didnt have much left to it, just rotting wood support beams. I was there with a number of people i knew or had seen from school.
While i was inside i found a box of cakes (which were each about the shape and size of bricks, with chocolate covering them). I took a bunch and continued to walk around the mansion eating them, then i ran into a couple of people i know (but who i don't care for, which is strange in this context). I walked around the mansion with each of them just talking or something then sat down on a bench and gave them a half of a cake.
Next all of us were rushed outside the back of the mansion, which i think was a graveyard. We were all told (by someone i don't really remember) to pick up shiney objects which happened to be rubies and assorted gold things lying on the ground around us. When we did there was a flash of light from the corner of the yard, and some kind of creature (which looked like a yellow blob with a mouth) leaped out from the light and consumed everyone. The creature was apparently attracted to the light reflected by the objects we held. I ran into the shed in the opposite corner of the yard and inside i met the guy who had instructed us to pick up the shiney objects.
There were maps and such pinned up on the inside of the shed, as if he had been planning the event for a while. I spoke with him and he told me that he was planning to do the same thing again, but that the blob creature had died and he would have to find another one to use. The man left the shed and I left after waiting a little bit, but i was almost stopped from locking the door by two men who seemed to want to interrogate me. Every time they asked why i was in the shed i responded with something along the lines of "it's just something i like to do", which seemed to satisfy them.

4/17/06

This dream seemed to be divided up into three parts so i'll do so, but they actually seemed more like one dream. They led into eachother astoundingly well.

1. False accusation: I was in a fairly large but dimly lit room, i think it was a garage because of the truck parked inside. There was a concession stand type set up against the wall and beside it was a table with a bench, like a breakfast nook. On the counter of the stand was a complex device that looked something like an old cash register. Two men were sitting at the table but i can't remember who exactly they were, i just remember they were funny.
As I walked away from the stand my dad suddenly stopped me and held up a bunch of "insurance papers" as i remember them being called, but they had scribbles and angry faces drawn all over them. He accused me of ruining the papers and that it couldnt have been my brother for some reason or another, so it much have been me. I tried to reason with him but he wouldnt budge. Finally i think he just walked off.
I continued to walk further until i was at the old truck parked in the room and i suddenly turned around and saw my dad again, who was now accusing me of something else (though i cant remember what this time). I was astonished at how he could just blatantly accuse me, i remember saying something like "What! First the papers and now this!?". After saying that my dad just grinned at me. Then i remembered that it was May 1st apparently, which i thought to be april fools day at the time, so everything made sense for a bit and my dad walked off again. Although then i realized that april fools day is on April 1st, so i was just all the more confused.
I then walked over to a computer kiosk (looked something like an atm machine), which had some game on it sitting at the title screen. I started up the game and that led me right into my next dream.

2: Downhill: I believe i entered this dream being aware that i was dreaming. I was standing at the top of a hill just looking at the scenery, which all seemed to be very brightly colored in orange and purple tones. To the west was a sunny valley (orange colors), then a mountain to the east and beyond that another darker valley (purple colors). A steep road headed down the hill to the east.
I started driving down the hill in a convertable and i remember i was trying to reach for something in the back of the car while keeping control of the steering wheel. But i was dreaming, so why did i need to? I climbed to the back of the car, which then seemed to trail off behind me on the road as i flew off the front end. I started flying and just followed the road down the hill, i seemed to be speeding up more and more. Then i decided it would be cool to know what would happen if i died so i touched down on the steep part of the hill and jumped off, falling into a little village that was below. Instead of hitting the ground i ricocheted off and just sped into oblivion and everything went black.
So, i was still alive apparently but now I couldnt see anything, but i could sense someone else being behind or around me. At this point i started getting really scared (still lucid, though) so i manifested two pistols in my hands and basically started flailing around in the darkness. Then whatever was behind me took hold of me. Then i exited the "game" i was in (that i entered in dream 1).

3. Bail out: I was sitting at my computer in my room now looking at the same title screen i had in the first dream. The monitor started flickering so i exited the game program. There was now a window on my screen with a bunch of text input boxes, the first of which said "eem" and other ones "f^" and some of them combinations of those (its amazing i remember that). I held my nose to see if i was dreaming and what do you know, i could breathe. But i still wasnt sure. I tried getting a better grip on my nose and breathing and i still could, but for some reason i still couldnt tell if it was real. (my room was presented pretty accurately, or convincingly enough at this point)
I started getting really scared again like I had in the second dream, but i didnt know why this time, which began to scare me even more, so i pretty much pressed the eject button. I saw some wierd designs and things (like HI, but much more vivid) and i woke up (for real) still a little shaken. Hey, I suppose thats an accomplishment since i did a controlled awakening .

4/26/06

Havent had much luck with dreams lately. Whatever the pain killers i was taking a while back had in them seemed to help me with dreams but after i stopped taking them i only had vague dreams, if i dreamed at all. It's strange because i would have thought the anesthesia would mess up my sleep more. A few weeks later now, though, it seems to be coming back. I had one small dream.

1. Moths: I stood in my garage with the door open and there seemed to be moths everywhere. There were little piles of moths up in the corners of the garage and they flocked around the lights. I had a flashlight in my hand and i remember being careful not to shine it on the moths for fear that they would start swarming. My dad picked up an old dusty box made of wood and started shaking and brushing the moths and dirt off. He pointed to another box next to him like it, this one with one gigantic moth on top of it, and told me to clean it off as well.

05/11/06

1. False Awakening Lucid: Everything was pretty normal, just a routine midnight trip to the bathroom. I stopped in the doorway to my room and suspected something was wrong so i tried shooting some lightning out of my hand, and what do you know i could. After that i decided to try some stuff just to see if i could. I tried turning myself into a woman, but failed and the dream just trailed off.

2. Quarry: I was working in a mine or a kind of stone quarry along side some other spiteful slaves. I walked up a ramp up against the wall of the quarry to a conveyor belt lifting mechanism with metal bins on it. As i watched the bins lift the ore up there was one with a gold, lop sided sphere with rivets around the side lying among the stone. I saw the gold one rise up, then followed by another bin with a silver sphere of the same shape. I snatched the thing from the stone and smashed it on the ground behind me, sifting through the mechanical parts which scattered from inside it. Among the parts were four pieces of a ripped up message, about the size of what you would get from a fortune cookie.
I stuggled to piece the message together but was caught in the act by one of the other slaves, who sounded the alarm on me. I ran back down the ramp, but when i got to the middle of the quarry a large harpoon struck me right in the lower back, going through my spine and into the ground, pinning me there. Through this i somehow managed to free myself and remove the harpoon, but I was then shot in the back with a bullet. I remember the pain from the wounds being startlingly real.

5/16/06

Four LDs in a row! Had a nice chain of false awakenings. These dreams were among the most vivid i've ever had, and I also had more control than any of my other LDs. Pretty cool stuff.

1. I woke up and looked around my room. A voice in my head said "Think this is real? Cause it's not." I didnt really think so at first, then i did a RC right there and found that i was actually dreaming. Thanks, conscience!
2. Woke up to find my cat crawling around on my bed. Then he started coughing up some kind of blue goo all over my face. It suffices to say i knew i was dreaming at this point.
3. My cat woke me up again, except this time there were two. Both were just kinda sitting there... staring at me. After looking at them for a bit i realized i didnt have two cats, or two of the same cat, so i was clearly dreaming.
4. I seemed to wake up lucid in this one, or i just forgot how i realized it.

They were all very similar, with me waking up in the same environment; my room, and an overcast sky outside. Though i can remember most of what i did, i can't really tell which dreams i did them in, so i'll clump it all together here.
I practiced flying quite a bit, and progressed quite a bit. I tried to just jump to start flying, reminding myself that there is no gravity. I could jump pretty high before i started falling again. I also tried flapping my arms to keep me afloat.
I tried transforming myself into different things too, but had alot of trouble. One of the dreams ended when i tried, everything just faded black. The strange thing is that i still had a sense of me being there, but I couldnt see anything. The same thing happened in the next dream, but I managed to recover.
The last dream ended pretty strangely, however. I went into my old highschool (i was doing my flying right outside there), it was in its usual over-crowded state. I turned to talk to one of the people and they just turned into a plastic mannequin, with hinges and stuff on the joints. I turned to talk to someone else and the same thing had happened, and to everyone around. I pretty much lost control at that point and the dream faded off.

Been a while since I've wrote in my dream journal but I figured I'd start up again, seems to help me dream more. I had one good chain of lucid dreams a few days ago so I'll do some catch-up here.

I'm pretty sure i had three dreams that night, but i cant remember the first.

2. I was at the local airport and it was raining pretty hard so it was difficult to see very far. Some people were standing around in ponchos, but know one i knew. When i realized i was dreaming i remember thinking about how realistic it was. Next i decided to give flying a shot. I just kind of took a super man stance and took off, but it became difficult to fly when i got higher up. The rain was so heavy that i couldnt see anything anyway, and the dream eventually faded.

3. I found myself on a path near the side of a cliff in a forested area. I knew i was dreaming fairly quickly. I remember that it was like a video game, i could pull up a menu screen. I continued down the path and began to lose control of my dream, so i managed to use the spinning technique to regain control (which is the first time i've been able to do that). A little black dog came barking at me, so i 'defeated' it and suddenly my dream started rolling credits. I had a feeling like "What!? thats the end!?", then the dream faded.

8/6/06

I tried to WILD but i found myself being too tired. Probably because i went to sleep really late. I set my alarm for 5 hours first, i'll try 6 next time.

1. The only thing i remember is running around through a mall with escalators and everything, then the dream faded.

2. I was just getting ready to leave for work, along with my whole family for some reason. We all hopped in separate cars, but i got in an SUV with my brother. About half way down the street i realized i wasnt wearing my work clothes, so i told my brother to turn around. My brother said something like "pfft! thats like half way down the street, here you drive". So, i took the wheel and started driving back. Then my brother said "oh no look a little girl is driving the car!", and laughing in between. I was actually a little girl at that point.
Once i got home i kept sorting through my closet trying to find any work clothes. All i kept finding were sweaters though, and i thought "man, that's a cosby sweater!". Next thing i know, one of the sweaters said "The Cosby Show" on the back, lol. strange.

8/14/06

1. I was doing some work at a local highschool and started walking home carrying some folded up boxes. When I was almost to my house I wondered how I had gotten to the highschool in the first place because I couldnt seem to remember anything before that. I immediately knew I was dreaming, and when I did it seemed like the grass and the sky became much more vivid. It was night and I could see stars clearly.
I decided to try flying, and did so fairly easily but keeping control was the tough part. I eventually just began flying around in circles, and I seemed to just clip through the ground instead of hitting it. When I went beneath the ground I couldnt see anything, and when I can't see I always lose the dream for some reason. This isnt the first time that happened.

Well it's been a long time and I've been out of the dreaming loop for a while. I used to dream a lot more (and more vividly). But I've been bored this summer, and I've decided to get back into it and see if I cant lucid dream again. For a few days now I've been paying a little more attention to my dreams.

Luckily, I got my hands on some B6 tablets recently. I'm experimenting with them to see what works best. On two separate nights I took 100mg before i went to bed.

On the first night I had a bit of trouble getting to sleep (which i have been recently, probably because of my crazy sleeping patterns aka going to bed at 5:00 AM). I stayed awake for probably an hour before getting to sleep, but before i fell asleep it seemed like my mind was racing. Like how i would normally see things as i WILD or something, but moreso. I remember having 4 or so dreams that night, but i can barely recall any of them (I'll have to polish up on dream recall again... kinda why im starting up my journal again).

The next night was similar but i got to sleep better. I noticed, though, that 2 or 3 hours after i fell asleep i woke up again promptly. I remember that happened the first night also. strange. Other than that, again 4 or so dreams that i can't remember too well.

My dreams seem a bit more vivid with the B6, but I couldn't say for sure. I haven't dreamed very heavily for a good year or so. I guess anything is progress.

For now I'll work on my dream recall and try and get back into the swing of things.

So... last night i decided to try 200mg of B6. I got to sleep pretty quickly and slept all the way through that night (which i havent done in a while).

I remember having several dreams but i can only remember the last one. this time i DID notice an increase in vividness. But anyway... the last dream was as follows:

1. I was in a high school, but it wasnt the one i went to. The floors were wood and the building was made of brick, and everything looked fairly worn like the building was 100 year or so old.
It felt like it was the last day of school and everyone was kind of messing around. There was some project we were working on but i can barely remember. (I'm sure there was more to this dream before that point.) I decided for some reason that if i switched classes right then i would get credit for both, so i went to a different classroom. I remember alot of people being there, just talking to eachother and messing around.
Then the teacher started saying something like "if you want to get into the movie business you have to go screw over a bunch of studios like steven spielberg". Then the scene changed and i was looking up through several skyscrapers (one of them was the one i was just in, presumably). Then steven spielberg was falling down from the tops of the buildings then exploded at the bottom. :p


Im pretty sure i had a few dreams that night but.. cant remember.. working on it lol

8/1/07
-200mg B6 taken.

My dream recall seems to be getting better again. I can remember alot more of my dreams.

I woke up after 6 hours or so of sleep then wrote down 2 dreams and went back to bed. I think i had one more after that but i forgot to write it down ><.

1. It was night time in a neighborhood I wasnt familiar with. I was walking toward a friend's house (though i didn't know who this friend was). He wanted me to stake out next to his house because apparently people were breaking into it. As soon as i reached the house i saw someone crawling out of a vent in the house, with a typical ski mask on and such. He ran toward me but i pinned him down, holding his throat down over a wood plank that was in the ground. I can remember this quite vividly. My friend came running over to see that i caught him, then a police car showed up. A woman stepped out of the cop car and ran toward us, telling me to let the man go. I knew, somehow, that she was an impostor and i knocked her down too.
After that i walked away down the street and i think it changed into the next dream.

2. Next thing i remember was playing civ4. Everything was normal, but then it kind of zoomed in and i was actually in the game. One of my friends was there with me, and a knight rode up to us. He handed my friend a really strange looking sword, and then i looked at it closely. I could see it in enough detail to be able to sketch it out in a notepad when i woke up. (maybe ill refine a sketch of it later and post it).
Then i was sitting at my computer playing the game. I walked out into the kitchen, and I started talking to my dad about something. I looked over at the fridge and it was leaning over about 45 degrees. Then my cell phone rang, but no one was there when i answered, and while i was looking at the phone my dad was getting angry at me. The power flickered on and off a little, which i thought was a bit strange but didnt pay much attention to.
I went back into my room to see that my computer had frozen up, so i restarted it. It booted right to civ4 again. (to make a note, it was afternoon now)
This was all part of some kind of 'virus' i had known about previously, or had been warned about, in the dream. Apparently, some kind of demon would come to your house if you didnt play through the game of civ4. You also had to fulfill a bunch of arbitrary conditions, like having the fridge tipped 45 degrees. I was really worried in the dream.
So, as i was sitting at my computer, the power went out and i heard screaming from the living room. I ran out into the living room to see a little girl shivering on the couch and a few other kids hiding behind it. She was my little sister, it seems like (i dont have a sister in real life). I tried to comfort her. I knew the 'demon' had come and was in the garage, the door was unlocked to our house. I went to check out the garage and saw this demon out there, but to me its shape seemed extremely blurred as if i was looking really fast. I ran away back into the house. I think i realized that i was dreaming but i cant be sure. I was getting a bit scared now and i wanted to escape. then i woke up.