Thread: one more journal under the sun

Any start at all is a good start.
Keep them coming!

oh well
too much board reading yesterday, half english dreaming tonight!

I'm quite sure i had an insignifiant airport dream at the beginning, and also caught it for a couple of seconds, but can't remember anything so I supposed It was nothing interesting.
Then comes the decent one.
(well, while doing it i felt it was quite a good one, but thinking at it awake, it was not so extreme at all )
I was at a nostalgic highscool party, i mean those sad things where ex highschool mates meet and talk about how their lives failed ( )
So It was quite full of DCs, known and unknown, chatting and gossiping and so on. Some started to quarrel because somebody borrowed their car and they needed it to buy the cygarettes, and one was angry with me because I didn't have a car to take them to the store (i don't even have driving permission, too expensive)
I didn't minde because i was in a good mood, and went out in the square for a fly (there was a square or something with coffees and so but nobody selling cygarettes).
Then, noticing I was flying, i decided I was dreaming, but the feeling wasn't strong at all. I think because It was the second one (I'm quite sure in that moment I perfectly remembered the former, but didn't consider it valuable enough to remember)
I always have problems with DCs, because I easily forget they don't exist, so I thought it would be nice to try some control on them.
First i flew to one of the "angry smokers" - the square itself was kinda fun, it had a walkable part around it and i'm not completely sure there was any way to get there without flying - I think I took this particular from O's arena (that's where I wanted to go this night, but evidently my brain didn't)
He was talking angryly about the car problem. I decided it had simply never happened. As I flew down i heard he was now talking about the party and was in a grat mood. I was very pleased and a little surprised of it working.
The I met a friend. Asked if she needed help, she said that a rat had bit her finger. I had to remind me she wasn't actually there (that was more difficult than with the other because she's a dreamer too and i'm too used to hear her tell me her dreams)
I said ok, i'll fix it, and kissed the finger. It didn't work, so I reminded me again she wasn't really there and the second time it worked. She said thanks, but I didn't feel much proud i said to her "it only works for this dream". would like to know what i meant.
Then i just stood here losing time, wandering around and being silly with a pair of cute blondie boys. One looked 15 being large, and I felt a little pedophiliac, but I decided not to mind, also because in my dreams i do look about 13 (while in life I look 17 and am 20, but never mind )
The other blondie was older but it felt strange. I couldn't manage to be sure it didn't really exist, and that's where I started to lose the dream.
When it all began to flick like my dying tv and darkness started to pull me away, i tried to be "sure "it couldnt and that i could stay there (because yesterday I read sombody could)
I actually didn't wake up or anything, but the dream become rapidly a perfectly standard one (with a lot of tv-low-quality-spy-movie, to be said!.) Fun but that's it.
Now, for i'm gmt+1, i go and eat something, and then i'll write maybe about this part.
the second part was anyway useful cause in it i repeated the former a lot of times, using keywords, writing and so, and this surely helped me remember.

I woke up at 9 am (that's quite early for me) in a good mood, and noticed my body and mind were unusally relaxed, but i didn't feel any stunned (that often happens to me if i try to open my eyes before noon )

Nice LD!

It's funny how, even in lucid dreams, it's so hard for some of us not to treat DC's like DC's. It's very rare that I end up treating a DC like "You're only a DC. Nothing you say or do really matters because you're just a DC." I usually end up reacting to things like I do in waking life, except for having the knowledge that I can change things if I really wanted to. It's the same thing with Situations for me, also, not just Characters. If something's going on, and I'm lucid, I'll often just let it play out and go with the flow as if it's all really happening, until I feel the need to change something, or just really feel like making things more interesting. I find things a little more fun that way.
Only bad thing is, sometimes I get so wrapped up in passively reacting as if things were real, that I lose lucidity all together. lol. Oh well. It happens.

She said thanks, but I didn't feel much proud i said to her "it only works for this dream". would like to know what i meant. [/b]

Reminds me of how in real life
If you want to be modest about something, for whatever reason
You try to down play it
"Oh well, it's only good for this dream"
Maybe something to do with "...she's a dreamer, too"

Attempting to figure out meanings is always fun

maybe, my brain is quite stupid on this particular subjects...
i'm comlpetely sure she wasn't actually there anyway...
( even if not saying that i know it because i asked her half an hour ago would help me in keeping a decent reputation )

lots of useless ones tonight, I have not time to write them
i'm staying away till monday, i'll copy all in a time when i come back
(my paper journals still work when i travel )

two almost sleepless nights

oh well, i threw arrows and ran in the wood, jumped over fires and ate boar.
but definitely none of those things was a dream.

nice beltane anyway!

useless dreams about being late to a convention (about some boring subject) hanging around with by best friend getting more late .

nice setting anyway

three or four not interesting dreams, very vivid details spread around (trying to send an SMS from my father's phone that has T9 turned off was very realistic, even if in the middle of a "apocalypse-with-dragons-and-other-stuff" dream)

bored. want a good one.

remember two. One about taking, one about giving back life. Lately it comes to me that all the dreams in a night turn around a single topic, mostly moral or so. Strange.

In the first I was told I killed a man, but i couldn't remember how it happened. I asked lot of questions about it, but the (cop?) didn't believe in the amnesia thing. I wouldn't too if I was him anyway.
In this strange talk we made up the story in some way (even if my memory never returned to me, and i kept not believieng it true). It involved a swimming pool and stabbing a man in self defence. It was a Me or You situation, but it made of me a killer just the same, at least for myself, even if i didn't really risk the prison.
I wasn't really scared, but i didn't like it at all.

The second had lots of action in it, with me and some friends (totally imaginary ones) trying to escape grom bad guys with guns (think mafia or something like nestlè was involved). It's as it repeated at least two times, or if it was a mix of what happened and my memories of something similar. Pretty tv-movie.
At a point we hide in a sort of institute for children - orphanage or clinic or so- (in the other version it was a shop, like in western movies or little villages in southern italy)
One of us, a child (in the other a little girl) was wounded and near to death. Here the two versions are a little different (while they happened like at the same time). The girl died, the child didn't. It happened something I absolutely don't remember to me and the girl ( and to me and the child in the other dream-part) and the heart of the girl beating with mine.
Then there's me hugging the child-girl, feeling a lot tired but happy because sure he-she will soon recover - and that there's still hope to escape our hunters.
Then again there's me running outside being careful not to be caught, but quite confident because i felt like "ehi, i did this, nothing can't be worse", and going in a wood t talk with some allies- friends- something (that looked like american indians )

Confused and illogical both... before waking up my lasto thought was i paid back everything, mean did just as bad as good....
quite moral. a little too moral perhaps.

And no LDs again. Keep adding things to my "to do " list, and not a single one to catch and try them. Doh!"

uselless "city hunter" one with a slight anime look
swimming pools, again

beautiful, colourful intimistic dream with a false awakening. good feeling, absolutely nothing lucid.
It's how much, two weeks? eek!

... edit: just discovered my best friend had a similar one... being the FA about we two discussing our similar dreams, it sounds funny.

but sadly I already had alternative explainations.
Doh.
I don't want this stuff. I want a damn good lucid. Can I?
doh.

now.
I say.
How stupid can one be?

The setting: an enormous unfinished but already working residence-hotel, in a beautiful mountain town which I know as my pokets because I spent there my first years, with looooots of rooms to explore and things to do.
Details, so many details you can sell it at the market. colours, shades, objects, a goldmine. (edit: i don't mean there was a goldmine, i mean that the dream was a goldmine of details)
Then put ME, the most stupid dreamer on eart, in this place. So I explore, go around, and so on, then I end in a WONDERFUL library. Bookshelves everywhere. the FLOOR is made of bookshelves, the WALLS, even the STAIRS are made of it... and of course the DOORS, F+ing doors of all sizes, covered on bookshelves, like secret passages in fairy tales. And most of them lead in pure darkness, lovely pre-creative chaos.
That means, for me, that they lead just ANYWHERE i want.

They would. If I only had the decence of becoming lucid. BUT... here's the nice monologue that took place in my useless head - because I forgot to say that I even had an unusual amount of brain with me, not to mention a fine working memory and ALL those F*ing things that turn out so useful in LDs.
So....

"Hey me. Is'nt this library nice?"
"oh yes indeed. It' a pity that none of these books is real. They're only a stamp on the hotel wallpaper ..."
"yes, but I may make any of them real if i just wanted" (and felt I was meaning "make any of them have always been real")
"naaaay, why now? isn't worth the time"
"Doh, look at those nice doors"
"aren't they too little for me?"
"oh well, i could pass anyway, but why now?"
"hei hei. Nice this stair-like floor. wouldn't it be nice to go around jumping if I became lucid here?"
"mmmh yes, i definitely should do this next time"
"oh well, let's jump anyway on my way back, and then go look for a shower!"

well.
I mean.
does anyone want a brain sandwich?
gosh!

F***! the time sequence is already gone!

Ok. I start with dreaming i'm back to highschool and have not done sone homework. thei I go away with some people and have a deep -intim talk with a cool guy i don't absolutely know - both in the deam and reality - in a bucolic fluvial setting. Don't remember what we were talking about.
I know it's much longer here, but can't remember anything.

Then i remember some annoying flashes of me when I was six. Didn't like what i saw. Looks as i was a very meschina2 child. Don't thik they were much realistic, but maybe more than i would want.
It's like I was watching time like a movie, and then i "landed" in a birthday party (mine) in my garden. there were my classmates of the primary school, and they was a little scared of me "grown up", also because sometimes it seemed there were two of me, the big and the small, but not always.
I remember playing with a jumping stuff, and they thought i would break it, nd I said "It's been mine for more than ten years" - so, it feels like we were in "my" time, mean present, but even of this i'm not sure.

Then the good stuff.
The party went on in a house, and there was something to pay. People was arguing about ho should pay, and i wanted to take control of the dream and go away to do my "private" entry in my "to do " list (i even managed to remember the list in the dream). So I said my little copy would have paid for everybody and left the table. Some classmates (but now they looked teenage and so I don't know if they were still classmates or only random DC) followed me curiously, and me too I wanted some of them with me. I think i felt them as being "memories" but not sure. Anyway for some I felt a strong love feeling.
So I said "Who wants it, follow me. I'm leaving to my quest."
I wanted to take with me my little self too, because i thought ( not too logically, i have to admit) that if i had accomplished that as a child, i would have grown up a better person. I think it was sort a "redemption of the past" thing, but dunno.
Anyway my little one didn't look much interested, and me too didn't like her enough, so i didn't call her.
SO.
Went out of the room, and reached the upper floor with a nice serie of jumps (jumping is my favourite way to move in dreams, and also help me to keep lucid). Looked at the others around, thinking they could jump too because they sort of were me. They actually could, who better, who worse.
While walking, i tied all those little things useful in dreams, like crossing walls and so on. It was important because i "knew" i would reach the place where the quest would be over by passing throug the right mirror. [/color]
(hei, i know it's all twisted-complicate, but i knew it too in the dream. it sort of had to be that way, because i wanted the answers to come from my subconscious or something, anyway deep, not only to fit what i expected.)

anyway, there werent rooms or mirrors or anything on the floor, only some unfinished rooms full in darkness. I told the others to try to follow me, and then I think its' when i started to hold Claudia's hand (the girl on my right. can't remember who was on the left, maybe a boy dunno)
Then i let the darkness lead me where they should, and ended up in an apartement. It was quite full of people, most of them people i know. Don't know how many followers i lost in the travel, anyway i'm sure i had at least claudia and another one still with me.
We wandered around looking for the mirror. Time to time, some of the random DCs talked with us. One, called Parasite, (he was really called so, not only in the dream) said: "this time i'm not there to protect you. you may be contacted by some buisnessmen). I said: "from the other side?" (by meaning: an evil one?) and he said no.
then going on, walk and meet, walk and meet, and i thought to myself: "maybe is simply this the quest? maybe the answer is in those people from my past wandering around?"

Then i thought we had found the right mirror. It was a little one, split in two by the wood frame, like a cabinet door. I thought my brain choose a very uncomfortable mirror to pass trough. I said to the others "it's this i think"
But when i tried to push my hand through it i couldnt, and was very disappointed.

Now, awake, i notice i didn't see my reflection, and actually going through a mirror but not trhoug my reflection would have been no use for my "quest")
Anyway, claudia said "i think it's another one, follow me." and held my hand (like i had left it before touching the mirror). I said "ok, you lead".
Then she pulled me to a high and thin whole-figure mirror with prints on it, like old "cocacola's" ones. I didn't see my reflection too, but light from behind it, the same colour i expected the place to be.
I said "no, this one is fierce"
I heard growling from behind, then began to lose control.
I thought it was because the growl caused me an emotion - most like fear i admit .


then i woke up.
I felt heavy and strange. I kept on feeling the hands of claudia and the other in my hands for a while after i opened my eyes, and when i tried to get up my head ached for a pair of seconds.
It looks like it was pretty intense for my body, even if during it it didn't seem, for i let a lot of freedom to the dream...

anyway, for me it's a good one. dunno if it makes any sense without knowing the purpose of the quest

Nice LD!

Explorative LD's are always so much better when you have a DC companion or two to travel along with you. I love jumping, also. Many times jumping long/high distances can be even more exhilarating than flying.
Also, when you heard the growl, was it behind you or behind the mirror? If it was behind the mirror, that's pretty cool, because it gave more personality to what might have been waiting for you if you stepped through it. If it was behind you then..well..that's just creepy. Haha.

in the dream, behind the mirror.

actually, under my window, and it was my dogs, howling at the postman!
i think it's mostly for the noise that i woke up, and that the fear is only the reason i thought about while dreaming

thanks for reading O

not able to continue the big one. Nor i had any hope anyway.
a silly one, but strangely i was with Parasite (never thought about him for months, and dreamt him two nights...)
than a flash of me in a forest following some footprints, but it wasn't even a dream, something like Hi. i was aware, and wondered if it had something to do with the dream of the night before, but wasn't very stable and also was worried because i had to get up at a time.
I even recognized a pair of false awakening, but didnt' use them for the same reason.

mmmh
basically an action movie
nice anyway.

don't have the tiniest idea of what this was.
nice and very "phisical" LD i think.

i woke up because the postman wanted me to sign for a letter for my father.
i went back to bed cursing like a pirate.

then i don't know if this part was real or just a dream. it was me on my bed attempting wild, but i'm not sure that's real because i would never do it, i'm allergic to the idea of "using methods read somewhere"
I stood here (or i think i stood here anyway) waiting for images to come, and looking at the feelings of m body - that were pretty strange. what i most feared was to just get up "really" believing it was a dream, and look stupid to myself. (the day i will believe i'm dreaming and be wrong, i'll bury myself. : )
so, first image was a reflection of my bed on one of the mirrors in my room, but i knew that it was in the wrong position, and actually covered on hanged dresses in real life. So, i was sure i had started dreaming , but that one seemed a little too messy for me.
after a while a street appeared on the right side of my bed, just looking at my left i saw the room, and right the street - in the room it was day, in the street night.
so i didn't get up (in fear of waking up) and just thought of myself standig on the street.

other detail: until that moment i hold my eyes closed, so i was "imaging" all that i saw. when on the road, i decided i was asleep enough to "open" them without actually opening them in my bed. It felt good to do so, because i was tired of feeling them closed.
So walked along the street, wandering why it was that dark if it was actually nine o clock.
i saw a friend with an horrible pink suitcase, but didn't stop to talk. went on, and saw a woman. I asked her why it was so dark. Meanwhile, i was wondering if she would have looked perfectely unknown to me. She looked ad me, and i saw that her face was actually new to me. Don't really remember what she answered.
I thought i should use that dream to finish the "private" task that i failed in the last, but it didn't feel very stable.
anyway walked along with the woman, until we arrived out of the "city" zone. suppose it was sort of countryside, but i don't know because it was darker. it's like we were the only thing that made light, so could see just a meter in front of me, and was sure that if i looked back i would see nothing at all and likely wake up.Now we were in front of two plain wooden gates, that the girl wanted to open, and that i wanted to use to go change the scene.
I had big doubt anyway that i would be able to use a door or darkness itself to go anywhere else, or anyway change the scenary. i felt my hold on the dream very weak.
Tried to make light "gandalf way" but didn't change much. Tried to just call for light but completely failed.
(now i think that my not-asleep-enough brain wouldn't have been able to "process" a big open space without the "darkness" trick, like old 3d videogames)
then i felt i was losing my hold, kept a little the static image of the gates and woke up.

i wanted to write it all, but i felt a little stunned. So i slept a little, then drank water and ate a snack and finally got up.

i don't know what it was, but it's too weary for me. I still prefere the usual way

I often have a lot of trouble calling up light, too. I also agree that it has a lot to do with the brain having to map out a large and/or detailed scene when switching instantly from dark to light, but I’m sure that can be just as trainable as anything else, with the right technique.

nice adventure dream in which my point of view passed from one to the other of the two characters (that were two children, brother and sister)
then got tired of this and became lucid - and said " ok you two go on ... hey what am i saying? well, ok brain finish this in the background, i go have some fun."
But sadly enough i also became aware of my dogs in real life barking like mad, and also that i was still tired from yesterday and not perfectly well phisically, so it wasn't a good idea to waste my last energies in morning LD. I waited for a few seconds to see if my mother made the dogs shut the F**k up, but she didn't. So i gave up and let them wake me.

Haha. Damn dogs. :neutral:

Congrats on the LD, though.

oh well
not- so-high-level lucidity for a pair of minutes, then it all went back to fantasy-bullshit - it's always the DCs that mess me up, always forget they're damn not real.
anyway, two good points:

- first time since i left the hisorical company that i had in the dream my two-hand medieval sword (that's a good thing)
- my rate is going damn UP... hope it goes on so!

oh well
wake up at 7 am, back to sleep, dreamt about my day something like four times, and each time around "six pm" said to myself... "o damn! i lost my day doing nothing. never mind, it's a dream, start again"

i mean
don't know what does my brain want
what is this??? i liked stuff like this when i was EIGHT!
... is it its way to tell me i'm starting to ask too much?

bah