frustrated and confused

ok so I'm still learning and everytime I get to this point I back down for some reason. Prolly because no one belives that I can do it or no one understands what I am talking about and they look at me like im crazy. I'm not crazy! I just experienced my first "hit" I was walking on campus and all of a sudden I get hit so hard with something that I almost fall over. I didn't know what it was. it hurt a lot. kind of like knocking all my spiritual marbles out of place and them scattering and settling again. I also finally broke through my teacher and saw her complete aura. it was crazy weird colors orange with a purple center. creepy.

I hate when people think I can't do something cause I know I can do it. but I get no encouragment from anyone. I mean my "teacher" just tells me to be careful and to not do this or that. To me thats telling me not to practice at all. i understand it can be dangerous, but so is walking down the street, so seriously.....give me a break here. I just want someone to completely believe me and what I am talking about. It also seems that when I try to talk to my sister about what I can and can not do yet and what I am working toward I get "Jess your cocky" How is talking about what I am trying to attain being cocky!??!!? I try to live as selflis as I can and this one thing I KNOW I can do and am getting better at I try to talk about it and I get a "your being cocky" about it!!!!!!

I know this isn't a dream, but I am still trying to control my dreams. There are times I can see things, but can't control them or I can feel the energy fully and see nothing. I don't understand it. or all I see is objects flying at my face.. I'm standing there staring into blackness and things come flying at me at high speeds and I can't slow them down yet or see them fully for what they are, but then the next day I get deja vu like 10 times. Someone please help me. I need some guidance as to how to go about slowing my dreams and my mind down. anything at all would be helpful please.