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    Thread: The Mindscape of Xaqaria

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      The Mindscape of Xaqaria

      I've had a bit of a dry spell lately. I'll have a lucid dream every now and then but I'm not getting anywhere near the level of vividness and control that I'm used to so I'm hoping that starting a dream journal on here will spark some progress in me. I'm going to start off by just describing some lucids from the past and see where this goes.

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      Drivel's Advocate Xaqaria's Avatar
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      A few nights ago I had a strange but short lucid dream. I can only remember from the point I became lucid on. My best friend Aaron and I were standing in front of some store. We were on a concrete walk way in front of the building that had a metal railing with bushes on the other side. I realized I was dreaming and so did he. I had been thinking about experimenting with dream sharing a few nights previous and he was the one I was going to try to share with because I thought if it worked, he would remember it and contact me so this is probably what prompted the dream. I immediately flew backwards over the railing and he flew after me.

      We flew towards what looked like a car dealership that was on fire. We started destroying cars out front with "mind energy" to add to the destruction. We then touched down in front of the building and two people ( a man and a woman) came out. They looked like they were burnt a little from the fire, but it looked somewhat staged, like they were wearing make up. The woman then started talking to us; telling me that some sort of advertisement had induced this dream. She seemed to know that I was lucid and I got the impression that this was some sort of subliminal brainwashing; as if whatever company they worked for had purposely entered my dreams for their own goals. I told her I had never seen any advertisement and then tried to "force push" her backwords but it had no effect on her. She seemed very smug like she knew what was happening to me and I didn't.

      Then a high pitched sound invaded my awareness. I got the feeling that this was somehow part of the brainwashing and that I was in danger. I turned to run and simultaneously woke myself up to escape whatever effect they were trying to have on me.

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      Drivel's Advocate Xaqaria's Avatar
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      My best lucid dream so far happened about 6 months ago. I wrote it down somewhere else (myspace) so I'll just copy it here.

      I had been planning to try to have a conversation with a personification of my unconscious mind for awhile. I felt myself fall asleep and started dreaming and almost immediately realized and became lucid. I was in some sort of hospital with Alanna, my girlfriend, at night. I told her to continue what she was doing while I went outside. I found myself on a road leading away from the building and I could see mountains and the horizon in the distance.

      I had it in my head that I could make the sun rise (like I've done several times before) and this person that I was looking for would be there.

      As I stared at the horizon I became confused when the sun wouldn't rise. Suddenly I started to become light and float off the ground. This wouldn't have been unusual except I wasn't trying to and in fact was trying not to. I rose up in to the sky and leaned back so I was facing the sky. I started rising faster and faster and the fact that I wasn't able to control what was going on but remained lucid started to frighten me. I burst through the clouds and could see the stars. At this point I started spinning around and around so that the stars were tracing circles above me.

      It was at this point that the shape of a man came out of the stars as if walking through a veil. He was tall and clothed all in white with mounds of unkempt white hair on his head and face. The veil of the sky dissipated and I found myself lying on the floor in a high ceiling room. The man was there but he was no longer dressed all in white, he was dressed in nice clothing; a sweater and slacks, and looked disheveled like he had slept in them. I said to the man, "Who are you?"

      He said very matter of factly, "I'm god."

      This left me at a loss for words since it was nothing what I had set out to find. The first thing that came to mind for me to say was, "So is Jesus related to you?"

      He said, "no."

      I asked, "not at all?"

      He said, "At heart only but in no other way."

      Through this whole exchange he was walking around going about his business as if he had been caught unaware and hadn't expected anyone. I looked around and saw that the wall he was in front of was lined with books and there were tables with more books stacked on top of them. He was rummaging through the books on one of the bigger tables, it looked like a dining table that was seldom used for food. I finally stood up. He gave me a funny look and I took this to possibly mean I shouldn't have so I asked, "Is this alright? Is it alright that I stand up and look around?"

      He answered in the affirmative but in a sort of flippant, 'I don't care' tone, although I'm not sure exactly what he said because he hadn't really faced me to talk yet and my real life hearing dissability still applied in this dream place.

      I followed him in to the bedroom area of his apartment. There were several arm chairs all over the place. They were tall and looked new but in an old style. They were upholstered all over with an emerald green fabric that was embroidered in gold with a paisley pattern, and they had short wooden legs. There was a large comfortable looking bed in this next room and right around the corner of the wall I turned and saw a big screen television playing some news. One of the green chairs was set up in front of the tv with an over turned matching stool left in front of it.

      We sat down in some of the chairs and I took this as a signal that we could begin some sort of indepth conversation.

      I think I was hoping to come away from the conversation with some sort of tangible scientific revelation so the first question that came to mind was, "How are forces transmitted?" because I have an interest in string theory, quantum mechanics and relativity. The current scientific belief is that there is a particle for every type of force including gravity (the illusive 'graviton') and this doesn't exactly make sense to me. God's only response, however, was "Alliance."

      To make sure I didn't mishear him I said, "Did you say Alliance or Reliance?"

      and as if he was reconsidering he said, "Reliance, yeah that works..."

      I then started to explain why that made sense to me because I've always had the belief that nothing can exist without effecting and being effected by everything else, and I woke up mid-sentence.



      Now that I've been there though, I feel confident that I will be able to go back and I plan on asking some more indepth questions.

      This whole experience leaves some interesting things to think about. For instance, I was trying to talk to my subconcsious and he said he was god. Perhaps in the way that eastern philosophy says that all that exists is inside yourself and you define your reality, our subconscious is the god of our individual universes.

      Perhaps also, if our subconscious' can communicate with eachother without our conscious knowledge, god is an amalgam; one single organism in itself made up of billions of subconscious "cells". In this way we would all be a part of god.

      I'll continue to investigate and I'll let you all know what I come up with.



      P.S. a few interesting tidbits I forgot to mention. The apartment was very nice but messy. The ceilings were very high, at least 16 feet, with chandelier lights hanging down. I commented by saying simply, "you have really high ceilings." He didn't respond. Also, I didn't see any doors which sort of struck me as odd although now I realize I didn't need a door to get in so they would be basically useless.
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      When I wrote that last dream down, I felt as though it would be easy to revisit, but it hasn't been. Since then I've had three dreams in which I tried to talk to my subconscious.

      In one, I was back in Vail, CO. where I used to live. When I became lucid, I flew off intent on finding my subconscious and speaking with it. I could see a great deal farther than is normal and I saw a castle in the distance. I decided that was where my subconscious must be and flew towards it. It was a long ways off and I wasn't flying very fast so I decided to make the jacket I was wearing fly, and just hang from it while it did its thing. As I was just along for the ride, I took the time to study my surroundings and realized I had the hood up and could see the inside. It was fur lined and gave me a bit of tunnel vision. Then I decided that perhaps I would just let the jacket take me where ever and I would be more likely to find my subconscious this way. When I made this decision, I started to make a wide right turn, but woke up before I got anywhere.

      In another, I became lucid in an empty house. I immediately went out the front door and focused my will on being taken to my subconscious. Nothing happened at first, but then I started floating and turned back in to the house. Instead of going up in to the sky, I flew down through the floor. I went through what seemed like miles of earth and came out in a large empty space deep underground. A room started to materialize in the space, but then I woke up.

      In the last one, I WILDed in to a dream and immediately got out of bed and started running to find my subconscious, so that I wouldn't wake up before I found it. I went out of my bedroom and came into something like a highrise concrete stairwell. As I went to run down the stairs, I looked down at my hands since I had recently heard about this technique to increase vividness. My hands looked perfect; exactly like my real hands, but as I focused on them, light started eminating from the lines in my palms as if they were cracks and I was full of light. When I got down the stairs, I came in to a large room that looked like an unfinished floor in an office building. There was a man and a woman there that claimed to be my subconscious. I don't remember the exact conversation we had but the general effect was that they were telling me that what I was trying to do was useless. I became frustrated with their responses and so I decided to do something else; Fly into space, but I woke up just as I was taking off.

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      I don't remember all of last night's dream. I remember being in some house. There were people who were trying to do me harm/capture me. Their tactic was to have a younger girl who appeared weak (played by Jennifer Connelly for some reason) attack me and then run away so that I would chase her in to a trap. I somehow new that this was what they were planning so instead I just ran away. I came to a farm and met a person in the barn. They were taking care of an animal that looked slightly like a cross between a koala and an alpaca. She offered to drive me to safety but while we were in the car she somehow decided that she could benefit if she returned me to the people trying to capture me. When she tried to turn around I jumped out of the car. I ran off the road down on to a beach and under a pier. There were bums sleeping down there and I spoke with a few of them that were awake. Another bum walked over to us. He walked with a cain and was played by Michael Madsen. The dream ended before he got over to us.

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      Trapped in Canuckistan

      Warning: Offensive to Canadians

      This is one of the strangest dreams I've ever had.

      I was on a bus trip with a bunch of people. We were going to Oregon from Wisconsin and somehow got side tracked in to Canada which for some reason was now called Soviet Canuckistan. The bus broke down in this little town and we had to stop. We were at some diner/gas station, and all of the locals were treating us really nice. They were a simple folk (stupid) and seemed happy that we were in town. At one point I went out front and girls started coming up to me and flirting with me telling me I was cute. These two fairly big guys then came up and grabbed me by the arms and started dancing (dragging) me around in celebration. They told me they were so happy we decided to move to their town.

      At this point I realized the confusion and informed them that we were actually on our way to Oregon from Wisconsin, had gotten side tracked, and would be leaving as soon as our bus was fixed. They didn't understand at first, and I don't think they ever really figured out what I was saying (I'm telling you, everyone was really stupid; have you ever seen Idiocracy?) They did understand that we hadn't intended on staying though, and this made them very angry, although they didn't get violent right away. They just adopted a mistrustful air; at this point only directed at me, and left.

      I went inside to tell the leader of our trip that maybe we should get going as soon as possible. She asked me how bad I thought the situation was and then informed me that we would have to stay for at least a week. I told her I didn't think we should even stay to eat another meal. She also said the locals had said something about the "southern sea" blocking travel back south from this place. I didn't understand what that could mean and so I went in to the visitors center type room and found a big map on the floor. At first I couldn't figure out what it was even a map of, until I realized that it was a poorly scaled fanciful map of North America if it were to be completely controlled by Soviet Canuckistan, with Greenland just off the coast as a Canuckistan military base.
      The "Southern Sea" the locals had talked about was actually the great lakes.

      Here's where it gets dicey. I went back to tell the leader that I thought we should split now if we could and everyone was gone. All of the people that had been in the diner from the trip were no where to be seen. The locals however, were now wearing American clothing (their clothes had been the rustic west Asian homemade type) and there were even a few of the backpacks my fellow bus mates had carried sitting alongside the women behind the counter. They still were not being overtly hostile towards me for some reason, so I decided to make a run for it while I still could.

      I went up to the counter acting as if I was intending to order something and quickly snatched the backpack and bolted for the door. Once outside, I tried to run around behind the building in the direction that I thought was south. I went past some broken cars and some big industrial containers. I came to a fence. At first I meant to climb it as soon as possible but then I looked beyond it. The landscape was desolate. Night was approaching and the dark, heavy cloud cover was intermittently lit from beneath by bursts of flames coming out of the tops of smoke stacks. Black smoke curled up to the sky from a line of some gross twisted industrial plants ringing the horizon and behind them were foreboding barren and rocky mountains. I realized then that I could not cross those lands alone and on foot. I had to think of another way out of this god forsaken country.

      I hid behind one of the giant containers to think of a plan, but someone saw me. They started coming after me so I ran around the other side between the container and a wrecked car. More people were now coming after me and I didn't get very far before they all surrounded me. One big guy grabbed me and was about to beat me up so I bet him that I could punch the wrecked car we were next to harder than him. He put me down and I told him to go first. He started punching the car and I said I would tell him when he hit it harder than I could and ran away.

      I came to a building that was apparently a library. Immediately inside the door there was a tall book shelf and the isle turned to the left. I went down the isle but found that there was no way around the shelf, even though I could tell there was more of the room behind it. I climbed the shelf and went over the top. There was someone sitting up at the top reading and I could see several other people in the room. At first I thought they were the people from the bus and I said something like, "thank god are you guys from the bus?" but the one sitting up top said, "No we are from our own homes." I realized that these were all people that had been stranded here as well and were hiding out in the library. One of the people from the bus did come here shortly after me and I helped him in; his name was Chase.

      I asked the refugees if the townspeople had ever thought to come looking for them in the library and they said, "No, they never come in here"

      The dream ended shortly after that.
      Last edited by Xaqaria; 10-21-2007 at 09:24 PM.

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      Soon to come, winged frogs and other oddities as soon as I organize my latest series of lucid dreams. I think my dry spell has finally been lifted.

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      Take off, you hoser!

      If you thought Canada was bad in that dream, you should see it in the winter!

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      Wow, thankfully Canada isn't that bad...

      And the winters are great! All though I am a major minority (even among Canadians) who like winter.
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      Drivel's Advocate Xaqaria's Avatar
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      I actually live very close to canada (northern Vermont) and have nothing against the country at all. I go there quite frequently and prefer it in many ways to the US. I'm not sure what prompted the dream.

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      Drivel's Advocate Xaqaria's Avatar
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      Rarr. So my work schedule makes me tired all of the time. What this means is, my lucids have dropped to an extreme low, my general dreams are rarely remembered, and when they are I rarely have the energy to write them down when I wake up.

      I have recently taken interest in some more indepth aspects of this site (I'm attempting to adopt among other things) and am hoping this will bolster my resolve to be more motivated and disciplined.

      Just an update so my DJ doesn't fall in to obscurity. I'm still working on this.

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      Quote Originally Posted by Xaqaria View Post
      To make sure I didn't mishear him I said, "Did you say Alliance or Reliance?"

      and as if he was reconsidering he said, "Reliance, yeah that works..."
      Typical DC! I get so sick of their ambiguous or misleading answers.

      Quote Originally Posted by Xaqaria View Post
      They were taking care of an animal that looked slightly like a cross between a koala and an alpaca.
      Two of my favorite animals...

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      I have trouble working up the motivation to post my dreams on here, but I'm forcing myself to today.

      A few nights ago I had an interesting dream in which I was partially lucid. I've forgotten a lot, but I remember being with a friend of mine (Wes) who has some interest in lucid dreaming. In the dream we both new that we were lucid (we had been talking about it the day before). I'm a little hazy on the first parts of the dream since I waited so long to write it down, but I remember that there were zombies around where ever it was that the dream was taking place, but they didn't have much to do with the dream. All I know is that I was carrying a crowbar with me where ever I went and at one point everyone was leaving and I had to run back to grab it before I left. On my way to catch up to them, a zombie got close to me so I wacked it in the face.

      Sometime later, I went down a flight of stairs and down a long hallway to an apartment where a friend was having some sort of show. There were people sitting on the floor and she was sitting on a raised platform with a child's keyboard thing. She was between songs I guess, and was talking about people who were staying at her house. She called them NECI's (new england culinary institute) and I noticed a few of the people she was talking about passed out in random places around the room.

      I'm not sure how that scene ended, but shortly afterwards, I was headed to wake my friend Wes up again (I guess he had 'fallen awake' or something) so we could continue the shared lucid. I passed a house with floor to cieling windows and noticed myself asleep in a bed. I decided that I could extend the dream by telling myself to stay asleep. My other self then woke up, got out of the bed and came to the window. he/I had a very distressed look on his face like he was surprised or scared to see me outside. I motioned for him to go back to sleep so I could stay in the dream and he complied.

      At some point later I found wes and we went in to some large warehouse full of robots and other giant electronics. I found a robot that I believe was inspired by THIS but it looked to be about 15 or so feet tall. I used my dream powers to reshape it into a more mobile, and cooler looking robot that could bend its knees and what-not. My newly created robot had the head of an eagle and one of its arms seemed to also look like an eagle head (I think maybe it could pull its hand back to be that way). One arm would shoot energy and the other would 'spit' cannon ball looking things. It then shot one of the cannon balls into an opening in the side of the other arm and it shot an 'energy cannon ball' out of it. I jumped up on its back and rode it to where the other people were standing in the warehouse. This is where the dream ended.

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      Drivel's Advocate Xaqaria's Avatar
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      I'm really excited about a trip to Seattle I'm taking this week. The plane will be prime WILD time and being in a new place will also help me get lucid. I plan on trying to get at least 6 lucids this week, and I'm pretty sure I can pull it off.

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      Red=Lucid
      Blue= Advanced task
      First good lucid in a long time.

      Okay, so I was in a house with a bunch of friends, mostly females although I'm not sure if any of them were anyone I actually know anymore, and everyone was naked. I kept calling to my girlfriend to come downstairs and hang out but she wouldn't because she was embarrassed (em-bare-assed) so I went up stairs to tell her that she should either come down because everyone was naked so it was fine or that if she was really embarrassed to just put some pants on and come hang out.

      At some point before I went upstairs to talk to her it started raining in the house. At first it struck me that it was raining, then I realized how strange it was that it was raining inside, I almost became lucid at this point; I think I did, but I didn't act on it at first. I think what stopped me was one of the naked girls was also trying to get my girlfriend to come downstairs and she gave me this look like the rain had something to do with why she was trying, so somehow I rationalized that if it wasn't strange to her it must be okay.

      Either way, some friends of mine showed up while I was standing on the stairs talking to my girlfriend. Some of them were also naked but some of them were not. We went upstairs and the girls went down I guess, and now no one was naked. We were in a large high cieling'd room with big plate glass windows running along one wall. It was still raining and at this point I became fully lucid because I realized that I could stop the rain. I played with stopping it, then making it rain again, and then tried really hard and made it pour as hard as I could before stopping for good. One of my friend's had this plastic circle made out of smaller circles that reminded me of those little things you could arrange into shapes and then iron together...Like this.

      Anyway, I lifted it up off his head with my mind and made it float around the room. It kept changing shapes for some reason. I then got the bright idea to make it rain out of the circle thing which was cool. I wanted to send it flying downstairs to scare/amaze the girls but it lost control when I stopped focusing on it and broke. I made a new one appear in my hand and tossed it over to the friend whom I had taken it from.

      I wanted to go downstairs but on my way I was struck with the idea to possess my friend sitting on the couch. I started concentrating on him and could feel a force tugging me towards him, but for some reason the fact that he didn't know what was going on made something similar to a magnetic field that was resisting me and I end up flying in a half orbit around him and landing on the floor on the other side. Another friend of mine though, who I have talked to extensively about lucid dreaming in the waking world, I guess realized what I was trying to do and gave me a sort of nonverbal signal that we should try to switch bodies. We both widened our stance (like cowboys or we were bracing ourselves for something) and concentrated. Again I felt the force pulling me and I could tell that he did too since he was leaning forward. We both lost contact with the ground and flew head first towards each other. I closed my eyes just before we collided, and had the sensation like I we had gone through each other, but when I opened my eyes, sure enough we had traded bodies. The first thing that I noticed was looking up at myself since he's a little shorter than me. We walked up to each other and started a wide eyed examination of ourselves from each other's perspective. My next move was to turn and see the reflection in the big window but I woke up while turning.

      Its possible that I had a false awakening at this point, but I still think I was genuinely awake just groggy. As I was trying to fall back asleep, I felt like my hearing was amplified and that I could hear people walking down the street by my window. At one point I had to sit up to see because I also thought I heard someone walking up the stairs to my apartment. I realized that the noises were probably all in my head and tried to WILD back into a dream.

      It worked, or so I thought. I stood up out of my bed and proceeded to try to fly towards the door in the dark, only to trip over something, knock something heavy over and almost impale myself on something else sticking up off the floor (my room is extremely messy and hard to navigate in the dark). Well my first thought was, "maybe I should check if I'm actually dreaming before I kill myself." I tried to knock some stuff over with my mind bullets and sure enough I still had superpowers so I was definitely dreaming. Back again. I go for the door and grab my shoes on in the hall before going down the stairs (not my normal stairs but close. I manage to get one shoe untied and on as I'm going down the stairs which is a feat in itself (feet, get it?) but realized as I'm going down that I could just materialize the other shoe onto my foot. I give that a go, but am quickly distracted as I come out the door because I see the moon racing by, playing through several days in a matter of seconds (I think maybe it was doing a moon-sun loop for the first couple times around but I know that eventually it was just the moon) I tried to stop it, and had mild success at slowing it down significantly by miming an effort similar to if I was physically holding it back, but as soon as I would let up, it would speed back up to its normal pace. There's a chance I might have broke it doing that too because on one of the next times around I noticed that there was a big chunk missing out of the bottom and that I could see a giant debris cloud that it was blasting through every time it went around. I tried to stop it a couple more times with no long terms success and so I gave up.

      At this point I had the thought that I must be experiencing time at a very quick pace and since I couldn't see anyone around, they were probably moving faster than I could see, and I must appear to be like an extremely slow moving statue to them, up on my porch. I didn't entertain the thought for very long but instead took off flying up the street. I realized that I had successfully materialized a shoe on my right foot, but that I was still holding the original shoe in my hand and the one I had on was slightly too small for me. I tried to take it off and I think the preoccupation with the shoes succeeded in either waking me up or at least throwing me into a FA. While I was either awake or lying in my dream bed I remembered that even though it was almost the end of the month, I wanted to do the advanced task since I hadn't done any of the monthly tasks in a good long while so I focused on the yellow brick road (fawllow fawllow fawllow fawllow follow the yellow brick road) and closed my eyes to go back to sleep.

      Now, I've been playing fallout tactics lately and so what I saw when I closed my eyes was a loading screen to dream time, which is what makes me think I wasn't really awake in between.

      When the loading bar finished I opened my eyes and saw that I was looking at a reflection of myself in some sort of biohazard suit/ full body armor in a computer console. As I stepped back, I saw that the console was weather proofed for being outside. Then, when I looked beyond it, I realized I was gazing over a post apocalyptic waste land and a broken but recognizable road made of tarnished yellow bricks worked its way through the rubble to my left. I vaguely remember a voice from the console telling me that it needed my help, but I immediately set off walking down the yellow brick road.

      As I walked, I decided I must have a weapon strapped to the back of this vaguely power armor like suit so I reached over my shoulder expecting to come in contact with a rifle stock or something, only to find a smallish blocky digital camera. I stuck it to my chest (where I new it would stay) and tried to reach around again but became distracted when the yellow brick road through the wasteland led me to a fully operational outdoor food court with several different types of fast food restaurants being represented. One of the cashiers gave me an expectant look like he hadn't had a customer in awhile, but I thought this was quite the let down and went to continue along the road.

      Unfortunately, I realized that the yellow bricks had given way to beige fast food chain tiles a while back and had to go back the way I came to see if I had gotten side tracked somewhere. I couldn't find where the path split off and it appeared that the yellow brick road dead ended at the food court so I decided to follow it in the other direction. I continued past the computer where I had come in to the dream and found that just back behind that the yellow brick road went into a building with double metal doors, so I followed it in.

      The yellow brick road inside the building became like those lines they have in hospitals painted on the floors and walls that make it easy to find things, but this one was sort of a mash up between yellow bricks in the floor, yellow cement bricks in the hospital like walls and yellow painted lines, all haphazard and patchwork like the joining of two worlds. I followed the yellow brick hospital line around a couple corners and then started to see if I really had no weapons on this suit of futuristic armor, only to realize that it was becoming more and more like my snow suit and I just had a bunch of junk in the pockets (like normal). I pulled out a little pad that I had some drawings in (they were pretty cool looking now that I think about it) and immediately there were a couple of guys following me looking over my shoulder pestering me about the drawings. I flipped through and showed them a couple; most of them looked like they revolved around the idea of skeletons riding futuristic chopper motorcycles but I think the annoyance of these guys following me finally woke me up.
      Last edited by Xaqaria; 11-24-2008 at 03:07 AM.

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    16. #16
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      Shaman Apprentice Chronicles, 1

      For the purpose of chronicling my shaman apprenticeship, The following conventions will be used;

      Normal Black Text = Recounting of events that took place while awake
      Red Text = Recounting of events that took place while dreaming, not lucid.
      Royal Blue Text = Recounting of events that took place while dreaming, lucid.

      Italic text = explanations as they are warranted

      The first thing I can remember now is struggling to remain in the dream with the feeling of wakefulness bearing down on me. I leaned against a table with the weight of my body trying to wake up, forcing my dream eyes to remain open and aware of the dream. A man stood behind me. He told me to relax. His name was Ishmael. He was a shaman. I relaxed. I managed to regain control. I turned and we were in a monastary. One of the yogis was about to give a talk to a large group of monks in an amphitheater that receded down into the building. I asked Ishmael if we could go in to listen, but the answer was no, we had to listen from an adjacent room. We went into this room and it was filled with people. At this point I woke up.

      I was excited to have met a shaman in my dreams, even though the dream was very short. A few days later I mentioned the dream to a friend and he told me that he had met a man in the town that we live named Ishmael who claimed to be a shaman. He had been introduced to him about 4 years ago by a friend. They talked about Demonology. Although he hadn't ever talked to him again, he said that he saw him around town after that, though the last time he had seen him was about a year and a half ago.



      Shaman Apprentice Chronicles, 2

      After laying down to sleep, feeling the body Om vibrations, and then becoming silent; I sat up out of my body into my bedroom. I went out of the room and was in some other house. The hallways were dark. I entered a large living room and glided through the window and down to the street below. The street was lit by street lamps. Walking down the street, I began to shout Ishmael's name, although my shouts came out weak and it took me awhile to find my dream voice.

      I came to a building That appeared to be a hospital. A man walked out. I asked him if he was Ishmael. I'm not sure if he answered but I knew that he was not. Immediately, Ishmael came out of the building and I became ecstatic to have found him again. I walked with him asking some questions across a parking lot and down some steps to another street, alternating between floating and walking. I asked him if he had found me or if I had found him (in the original dream). He said that he had found me. I asked him how he knew I was a dreamer and he asked me if I couldn't tell what a dreamer looks like. I said that I had encountered some people in dreams that seemed like more than normal dream characters but had no way to know if they were real or not. I told him that he was the first one that I considered the possibility that they might be a real person.

      We went into what appeared to be a bar. After walking to the bar, I got a slight feeling of wakefulness coming on, and told Ishmael that I needed to go settle myself. He nodded.

      I went around the corner and into what I thought was going to be a bathroom, but turned out to be an elevator down to another floor where I assume the bathrooms were located. Another man followed me in to the elevator, and we struck up a conversation. I asked him what the name of the place we were in was. At first he thought I meant the name of the bar and said Pinker's. I asked what town we were in. He reacted as though this was a strange question, and so I lied and told him that I had been hitchhiking and was just dropped off randomly there. He said it was cooperstown (I think thats the town he said) Pennsylvania. I asked him to repeat the name of the bar, so I would be sure to remember when I woke up, and again he said Pinker's and motioned to a basket that had what I believe were matchbooks with the name of the bar on them. They had a little pink logo on them that I assumed was a pig for some reason, although I can't be sure since I didn't look closely at it. He exited the elevator and pushed the up button for me, since it looked like he got that I wasn't trying to go to the bathroom.

      Before the elevator went back up, a girl came out of a door just outside, so I pushed the door open button for her so that she could get on. I think we made some conversation on the way up, but I woke before reaching the top.


      I am slightly disappointed that I didn't concentrate enough to get back to Ishmael. When I find him again, I will get right down to the point and begin my real training.
      Last edited by Xaqaria; 08-01-2009 at 04:31 AM.

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    17. #17
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      Had a dream that was more vivid than any I've had in what seems like a year last night.


      I'm not sure if the dream actually started at work. I had been at work last night and they sent me home because I was sick so I came home and went directly to sleep. In the dream, I was on my way home on foot and I was walking a small black pug dog that had been left at the hotel front desk where I work. We were jogging down the road and it was pretty dark out. I started to wonder why I had decided to take the dog with me. I realized I should have left it there and decided to take it back, but instead of turning around, it was now as if I had always been headed back to the hotel.

      The scenery was very close to the town I live in at first, but that soon changed. I was looking for the driveway to the holiday inn (which is actually the last hotel I worked at and not the one I work at now) at a particular bend in the road. It wasn't where I expected it to be and I started to get confused. I kept going a little ways and came to some sort of bus station on the road. On my way through, two foreign girls asked me for change. I usually have a bunch of loose change in my pockets so I pulled some out and gave it to them. They called me 'rich' and I said something to the effect of "you think this is a lot of money?" (it was mostly dimes and nickels, probably not much more than a dollar's worth) They seemed to think it was and said something along the lines of it being enough to get through the day.

      I asked them where they were from and at this point a woman stepped into the conversation. She told me that I wasn't allowed to compete with the bus group. Now, at this point I absorbed a whole bunch of subtext that wasn't spoken about but I just 'knew'. Apparently there was a bus tour parked at the station that had been trying to convince these two girls to join them, I think out of pity or something because the girls had been spanging and hitch hiking or something. She seemed to think that I was going to try to convince these girls to come with me.

      I told the woman I had no intention of competing with them, and that I was headed to work. I said "It was nice to meet you" to the people in the bus station and left. I believe it was around this point that the dog changed breeds for the first time. Now it was some sort of black haired mutt, and was actually a lot closer to the dog I had actually seen at work before I was sent home and went to sleep.

      to be cont.

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    18. #18
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      Joy from "My Name is Earl" is sitting on a jury, waiting for the trial to begin. She is talking to another female juror about the person who is standing trial, Ted Bundy. They are talking about how good looking he is, and possibly about how Joy had met him before, although I'm not sure about this part. I had gotten the impression that she was also some type of witness. They are talking about how pretty his eyes are, and Joy says that they could be her sister's (or female friend's, I can't remember) eyes.

      At this point, the focus zooms in on the eyes of a person who is sitting in a room that is adjacent to the court room, but separated only with spaced posts. They are peering through the bars into the court room and at Joy. I can see that it is a woman, although I know that there is something not quite right. The focus goes through to the other side of the bars and I can see now that it is actually Ted Bundy wearing a wig (with his pretty girl eyes). He is conspiring with some people in a booth and the room they are in is like a bar. He is telling them something about Joy I believe; "she's the one" or something along those lines. The group gets up to go into the courtroom through a doorless doorway at the end of the row of posts. Ted Bundy's companions look as though they do not belong, not quite aliens but not earthly.

      Ted and his cohorts go out into the court room, but the focus stays in the bar area for a few moments. Meanwhile, sounds of explosions and an extreme commotion erupt in the court room. The focus follows into the room and I see what appears to be a floating metallic saucer/floating snake-armed robot firing a weapon at the door that leads through the back of the court room.

      The focus is then immediately rushing down the hall towards the exit of the court house building, following a large crowd. The attention was diverted this way by a newspaper that took off and started flying (mini jet/rocket powered). Once it is in the hall, another smaller periodical flies up and attaches to the back of the newspaper, and a much smaller piece of folded paper flies up from the other side and attaches to the bottom. I get the impression that these papers are part of some aware third party that was acting as a clandestine observer to the proceedings.I 'snatch' the paper out of the air (without a body) and read it. I can't remember most of what it said, but it was all crazy non-sequitars. One of the stories was about all of the rats in the city dying for some reason. It became a narrative in my head.

      The focus followed the crowd out of the building. The narration went on to say that it didn't just effect the sewer rats. It told a story of a local man that dressed in a giant rat suit for money. It was like a horse suit, in that it had the two parts and the back part was filled with two rats. This man in the rat suit was one of the people now running down the side walk, and as he ran he started taking the suit off and the two rats came out when the narration started talking about them. It said that they were probably going to die now too because rats had gotten a very negative stigma through whatever caused them to die across the city, and so the man wouldn't be able to make money and feed them with his act.

      This news seemed to anger the rats, and they started to attack the man. At this point my awareness became the man and I started hurling them away, but they would run back and leap at me and try to tear at my face. I kept throwing them away, and they kept coming back.

      Then I awoke.

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    19. #19
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      During an extremely light afternoon nap, I had the following psuedo dreams:

      I dreamt a song that sounded like a Tom Waits tune (not an existent one, just in his style) I can sort of remember the tune, and the last line in the chorus is "please forgive me, don't wake us up into our lives"

      My dad was telling me that a friend of his wanted him to come visit him where he lived on 'todus island' or 'todos island' (I got the impression that it was somewhere tropical) and help him finish building his house. My dad was saying that we should go since he had all these frequent flyer miles.

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    20. #20
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      Two lucids yesterday.

      I was sleeping very lightly, because it was day time and the other people who live in my house were up and about. I had been coasting on the edge of sleep for a few minutes when I finally managed to sink into a WILD. Because I was sleeping so lightly, the stability was extremely shaky. I think I fell into the WILD and woke up a couple times. When I finally managed to stay in the dream for more than a few seconds, I rolled out of my body, stood up and immediately stuck my finger through my palm just for fun; I already knew I was dreaming. I had to sort of force it through. I turned my hand over to see it sticking out the other side; neat. The stability was incredibly tentative. I walked shakily over to a wire reinforced plate glass window to study my reflection in order to gain some control. As I was looking at my reflection, I felt myself start to wake up. My left eye began to open and I got a stereo image of my dream reflection on the right side, and a violin with the top plate off and a feather inside that is hanging on the wall at the foot of my bed. I managed to close the left eye without waking up, but then I did anyway shortly afterwords.

      The first thing I remember is being is some sort of basement gym. I think this came from an episode of Dead Like Me. There was some meat head giving me a hard time, being superficially nice but trying to act tough. Somehow, he managed to get me by the ears in that physically rough way that some guys do when they are pretending to pal around but are really just trying to assert their dominance. I grabbed him by the ears as well, and we were face to face. I decided to head butt him, and did it three times but it didn't seem to do much. He then backed away and round house kicked me in the face 3 times. It didn't really hurt so I just let him do it, but my nose was bleeding afterwords.

      I left the gym area and went through a room with a couple hot tubs in it. There was a bunch of girls hanging out in the hot tubs. Somewhere around this point I became lucid and decided to go out the glass door on the other side of the room to do some of my personal tasks. They tried to get me to come hang out with them and were behaving as if they wanted to partake in some sort of sexual act. I declined and continued outside, but they followed me. They tried to entice me with a particular girl, telling me "shes brazilian" (brazilian girls are hawt) At first they managed to distract me, but then I decided I'd rather just go and do lucid stuff, so I said something along the lines of "have a good night" and flew off. Well, they turned out to be succubus-like witches which was the reason they wanted to seduce me. They gave chase on brooms.

      I was having trouble staying ahead of them and every time I looked back to see how close they were, I would slow down and they would gain on me. One managed to grab me and I lost my ability to fly, and then woke up.
      Last edited by Xaqaria; 04-01-2010 at 09:54 PM.

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    21. #21
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      Dream fragment from last night;

      I don't remember a lot of this dream, but I was driving a bus with some people in it, and my dog, on the interstate. I was seeing it from the outside and we were somehow talking to other people in a camper that was following/chasing us. At one point the road split, and the left side dropped away to nothingness/blackness. I decided to take that way because I "knew" that we could fly over it but the other people wouldn't be able to follow.

      Next Dream;

      I was sitting in a living room with some other people. We were talking about a book they had just written. Universal Mind was there, and someone else who is part of this website but I can't remember who it was. I was wondering why UM would be a part of the book project because I know how he likes to stay private but then I looked in the book and realized he wasn't credited. Nina was also one of the authors and as we were talking about the book, I got a vision of her playing with some children and possibly teaching them something, although she wasn't there in the living room.

      Then the conversation sort of shifted and it was now as if the book was about some sort of plan for revolution. I got a vision of myself and others going down a street at night and I had a revolver in my hand. The scene then changed and it was day time. The bus from the previous dream was parked at some park, and I was outside with some family members. I had the gun in my hand still and it was like whatever it was we were doing was done now and I was trying to get rid of the evidence. I was getting a vibe of dissapointment from my family members that were there.

      I climbed up onto what looked to be a plastic awning thing that covered some picnic tables. I split the revolver in half somehow, dropped the bullets out and tucked the two halves which now looked like pliars into the gutter, and then dropped the bullets into what looked like a bucket of random junk (screws and things) that was on the end of the gutter) When I climbed back down, I realized the people I was with had left in the bus without me.

      I had the thought that I could fly to catch up with them which caused me to realize I was dreaming. Instead of going to catch up to them, I walked into the field to meditate, which is one of my personal lucid tasks. I sat down at the edge of the field looking off into the sky, but decided to turn slightly so I wouldn't be staring into the sun. As I was doing this, the sun turned into a small star, and the sky was now black. As I focused on the star, it turned into a growing red ring that looked like an eclipse of some kind. It grew until it started to disappear. The best way to describe it is if the ring had been on a screen in the sky, and grew beyond the edge of the screen.

      What happened next was really strange. The dream faded to black as if I was about to wake up, but I didn't. Instead, I sort of assumed the identity of George W. Bush's karma (not him exactly but it was like I held the responsibility for his actions) and a voice told me that I was responsible for the destruction of an entire country. This caused me to break out into tears, and then I woke up.

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    22. #22
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      Wow, I've had a couple of Crazy George W bush dreams myself. I'd hate to have his Karma.
      The Best of my dream journal
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      MoSh: How about you stop trying to define everything, and just accept what you experience, and explore it.
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      I'm guessing those intergalactic storm cloud monster bugs come out of sacred energy vortex angel gate medicine wheels.

    23. #23
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      Couple of short dreams last night.

      I was interning in some radio station. We were doing a show and there were 2 regular dj's and 2 of us interns. The set up was kind of strange and I was having trouble figuring out where to plug in my head set. Once I got it figured out, I tried to join in in the dj banter but then they cut to music. I asked them why we had so many dj's if it wasn't really a conversation show. They said to get more variety in the music selection. We were up milling about while the music was playing, and a metal song came on. I asked who had picked it and one of the other interns (there were more than 2 now) said she had. I tackled her for joy! But then I realized she was wearing a pretty short skirt and I apologized and felt embarrassed but she didn't seem to care. That's all I remember.

      I don't remember much from the other dream. There was something about building bases, like it was a game or something. I have a clear picture of my base. It was a big white dome that was actually a sphere sunk half into the ground. It was actually mobile and had giant spider legs coming up off it.

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    24. #24
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      I can only remember the tale end of one dream from last night.

      I was in someone's yard doing...something. I know it was a family, father mother and son. The father was decked out in paintball gear for some reason that made sort of sense at the time but I can't remember anymore. My vivid memory starts with their house being attacked by some people. I look and the father mother and son are now all dressed in paintball gear; their outfits are matching yellow and black patterns. They are going to fend off the attackers with paintball guns. They enter the house through the back screened porch, and I am hiding around the corner as the attackers enter the house.

      I go in after them, and I see the attackers are three fat soprano type gangsters. One comes at me with a revolver and I grab it and wrestle with him. I push him back so he's sitting in a recliner and manage to get the gun from him. One of the other guys comes out of a bedroom and looks surprised that I got the gun. I tell the one to stay in the chair and go into the bedroom while pointing the gun back at them. I have the hammer cocked and it goes off accidentally as I'm going into the bedroom. It doesn't realy phase me and I just re-cock the hammer.

      In the bedroom, there is a naked woman with blue skin. I think that she is with the gangster guys, although I'm not sure why. She is sitting on the edge of the bed, and in front of her is like... exercise equipment? Or a small step ladder. Whatever it is, she sort of goes down on all fours with her ass in the air but she is all tangled up in the...stuff at the end of the bed. I pull her up onto the bed and she gets back into the same position. I start "torturing" her...sexually (purposely vague) in order to get information out of her but the only thing I can think of to ask is "Why are you blue?" It doesn't matter because it doesn't seem like it is really torture to her, and in fact I think that is what she was hoping would happen. She says something but I don't understand it and it might just be a moan. After I ask her the question, she turns green! I continue to "torture" her for a few more moments and then the dream ends.

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    25. #25
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      I noticed today that my DJ has over 1,000 views! I can't think of anyone who would want to read it; I always sort of assumed no one really did. I can't tell if its good or bad now that I have neglected to put some of my more "explicit" dreams in here...

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