The dream that must not be named
The "ordinary" dream I had before my lucid last night was, terrible. I mean it wasn't a terrible dream, through some of it it was quite nice but it's just so sick and twisted in places I would not want to share it with other DV members, probably for my own safety with the law. Basically, the hentai thing I have been talking about in previous dreams to incredibly exaggurated levels... and I don't even watch hentai I just like anime girls in general. Plus I end up beating up half my family and breaking a few other, far more serious moral laws. I will leave this to the imagination I think...
Anyway, when this dream was almost over I was in my room waiting for my stepdad to come because he said he was going to tidy my room for me (if only!), I checked around and saw that my stash of all the secret things a 15 year old teen keeps in his room was lying about all over the place. Presumably because they had played an important part in the chaos earlier on. Anyway, I hid it in a really obvious place and when my stepdad came up I just knew he was going to find everything. As he was looking about I said to myself, "Well, it doesn't really matter if I'm dreaming does it?", and that's when it suddenly hit me!
I watched him going through casually and finding all my porn and fuck knows what else was unique to the dream in there, he threw it all about and started to shout at me. To be honest, if this happened in real life he probably wouldn't even mind or say anything but my mind enjoys exaggurating things. I just watched and laughed and I think I ended up having a fight with him, I was still "kind of" not lucid and on this murdorous rampage, so yes I did end up beating him up. I then realised the dream was fading so I ripped my bookcase off the wall and tried to sandwitch in between them to feel the sensation (what a logical thing to do), and beleive it or not it worked! I came back out and deliberately gave myself carpet burns! They stung like hell but I was proud of the dream vividness. I also span and then slid down the stairs in the diving fashion that seems to strip skin off your bones, and yes it hurt but it all helped.
I was more or less perfectly lucid and I went into the living room to my mum. I ignored her at first but my little brother kept jumping at me going, "Ryan, RYAN!", demanding my attention. I don't know if I've mentioned that on my profile but yes that is my name. That's happened a few times in lucid dreams, it must mean I must pay more attention to him in reality. I impatiently shoved him aside though and went searching the floor for other dream characters, but there were none so I was pisses off. I came back and asked my mum, "Can I speak to a seperate consciousness in my brain", pointing at my head, "Or have you seen one around?"
My mum said no, but I got really agressive and grabbed her and shouted, demanding that my mind stopped doing this shit so she could just tell me. Then, her right eye started to turn an evil green and I couldn't turn my head. I wasn't scared, just genuinly pissed off at, "OMFG, what's my mind up to now?". And yes, my mum turned into an evil possessed mother, and I had to floor her as well. Afterwards I was proper upset with myself saying sorry to her and what have you, but she moaned out to me, shouting, "It's all Ellion! IT'S ALL ELLION!", all the time she had these evil demonic eyes. I woke up at roundabout this point.
If you thought that was fucked up then you really don't want to hear the original dream, I'm still sorry I had to do all that. Really sick, twisted stuff does come up in dreams (bear in mind the irony was I was enjoying myself in the ungodly dream but when I was lucid I was just angry and pissed off). My main concern is that I am SO PISSED OFF with my mind for playing about with me! It knows FULL WELL what my objectives are and it knows FULL WELL I have to put this all into DV! I decided to try to contact a seperate consciousness because I have read abut them possible being real. You know more than one consciousness in the brain living it's own life, like if you have your brain cut in half each half is a different self, perhaps it's like that already! I don't need demonic family members fucking about with me all the time! Please tell me this means something? WAS my mother supposed to represent the thing I was looking for? What does it all mean? Why? Why? WHY?
|
|
Bookmarks