Thread: My dream journal; from the beginning...

I was dragging a blueberry around in one of those little red wagons. It was a regular sized blueberry, and in my dream, I thought it made a nice pet...but it had a face...I'm talking full on face. As we were walking, it kept getting hungry. So I kept stopping for it to eat. It would eat the strangest things. It ate rocks at first...then as it grew larger, fire hydrants, cars, buildings...and all the while, I was hauling it around in a little red wagon. It eventually grew so large that it ate the entire planet earth and everything on it. I remember watching it from space it the earth turned into a giant, earth sized blueberry. I woke up in a panic.

In this dream (and it's classic, I know) I remember that Jesus was on one side of me and Satan was on the other.

I was running, as hard as I could, towards Jesus...but I couldn't get anywhere. I was staying in the same place and Satan just kept getting closer and closer...I was so scared! I didn't want to spend an eternity in Hell!! Why couldn't I get any closer to Jesus, that's all I wanted!?

I woke up with my legs moving like I was running and I was actually making the noise, "aaaaahhhhh"

Prophecy in my life:

While my desire is to be close to the Lord (and of course He wants me too), the darkness that is Satan is always in hot persuit. He would love to trip me up or cause me to get caught up in the things of the world...or the wrong side of the supernatural (I believe there are 2 sides). As hard as I might try...as long as I am entertaining thoughts that aren't of Christ...I am stuck in my current position (whatever that may be).

This is truly something that I can see as a current issue. I have to explore the supernatural aspect of my life, while still maintaining a focus on the Lord and His will for my life...and then following that path that He has laid before me, instead of moving along another that may look interesting or fun.

I always wanted my mom to buy those toilet tablets that made the toilet water blue. She said that we didn't need them, she kept the toilet clean enough...but I still wanted blue toilet water...

In my dream, my mom brought home the stuff that makes the toilet water blue...but after she put it in the toilet water...we had to dunk our heads in it and we would become whatever we wanted.

Well, I had it all made up in my mind that I was going to become a princess (well, I was a very little girl), but I never got the chance...because my sister was the youngest, at the time, she got to go first. She dunked her head in the toilet and she became a knee biting monster/witch and if she bit your knee [and you couldn't get to the toilet to dunk your head in time] you would become a knee biting monster/witch too and go around creating other knee biting monster/witches.

She bit my mom, my dad, my new baby sister and everyone else she could get her hands on. (We were only 3 & 4 at the time) I remember that we ended up in what I thought was a candy factory. (I only think I thought that because I was running from her and she was chasing me on conveyor belts through a factory...and for some reason, I thought that's where candy was made.) I remember running and jumping from conveyor belt to conveyor belt as she kept chasing and getting closer and closer to me. I remember waking up before she got me.

I somehow managed to dunk my mom, dad and sisters head in the toilet before it was too late...she was so close to getting me...but she didn't.

Prophetic?

I'm not sure...but I know that I've worked very hard to stop drinking and smoking...and it has nothing to to with religion, but everything to do with being healthy and keeping my "temple" clean. I really want to be a clean and health person. My sister started smoking again and it's really hard not to go smoke with her...and she drinks quite frequently and makes a really good argument as to why it's okay. I just know that drinking a lot isn't healthy for us...yet when I'm with her...I get sucked in to having so much fun. I love my sister and we have the best time together...but it's probably a good thing that we live over 300 mi apart! We would both be so much worse if we didn't.

This one is really pretty sketchy. I don't remember a whole lot of detail.

I was probably about 7 or 8, and was walking along a completely deserted beach. The water was very blue, and the sand was golden and soft. It seemed like the dunes went on forever in one direction, and the ocean in another.

Next thing I know, there is a boy about my age on the beach. He's dressed like a native of some far off place where little boys only wear diaper type loin cloths. He's dark, with dark hair and eyes...indian maybe? We start to walk together. I remember we talked and played but I don't remember what any of the content was.

Suddenly there's a very cartoon like bluish dragon on the beach with us. For some reason [that has to do with whatever we were talking about or playing] the dragon was very angry with the little boy and told him he had to be punished. So he picked him up and gave him a knuckle twist in the middle of his back! I don't remember what the little boys reaction was, but I hated those things when I was a kid, so I started to run away. Well, I couldn't (I have issues running in dreams) and the dragon picked me up and did the same to me.

I woke up almost as soon as the dragon started to "punish" me...I could actually feel the knuckle twisting in my back and my back was arched from the pain. As soon as I awoke, it started to subside...but it still took a few seconds for it to totally go away...and I could feel the spot where it happened all day.

I told my mom about it...she didn't really know what to say. She used to laugh when I would tell her some of my dreams...needless to say, I quit telling her about most of them.

This one, I only remember the end. Even as a child, I couldn't remember the actual dream...but I remembered the end.

There is fire everywhere in my peripherial vision, like a border of fire, and then on the inside of the border is blackness. Complete and total darkness. And large and in my face was Satan's face. I don't remember distinct facial features...but his face was made of flames that were constantly moving and making his face appear more sinister than before, and they would lick up off his face...like it was on fire and made of fire. Sinister isn't even the right word...it downright scared me to death, I woke up thinking I was going to have a heart attack at like 6 years old. The fire was not the kind of fire you see while you sit around a campfire...it was dark red; roaring and angry.

His face was human in its appearance, but there was something animilian about it...something so terrifying that you felt the fear in your soul like it was something tangible...never in my life do I ever remember having been as scared as I was right then at that moment. I had a lot of nightmares as a kid, but I never woke up screaming...I would just pull the covers over my head and power through the night...but I shot straight up in bed and was screaming. My eyes had opened and I could still see him...he wouldn't go away. My mom came running into my room and all I could see was his face...the vision didn't go away until my mom touched me. That was what seemed to break the hold that he/the dream had on me.

Last night was really a strange night of dreams. I am coming down with a killer cold, so that could have something to do with it...

I was barely lucid...which is really strange for me. I'm usually fully aware that I am dreaming, but I was really in and out last night...and truthfully I only remember bits and pieces.

I remember someone showing me how to use a net, wrapped around a plant, to collect the blossoms off of my Lavender bushes...It seems like most of my dream was outside and everything seemed golden...like a movie shot with a Goldenrod filter or something.

I remember someone throughout all of my dreams trying to get my attention. It was the same person...but I just couldn't seem to keep lucidity. He was there the whole time, but I don't remember any of what he said. I remember at one point, he was telling me something very serious...I remember the look on his face...but, darn it all, I can't remember a word he said. I know whatever he was trying to tell me was important...I'm going to try and meet him again tonight and apologize for being so out of it...

Man, I have got to get it together...it would really help if my kids would sleep through the night once in a while...

EDIT:

I also remember looking for something or someone specific on DV, but I don't remember who or any of what I read. I just remember thinking, this isn't what I'm looking for. (note - I don't remember having issues with any of the text)

I also remember not being able to shut the door. I would shut it, and it would pop back open again...it was really starting to tick me off! I remember wondering how I was going to keep the cats out of the house, and then remembering (again!) that I was dreaming and it didn't matter, so I walked away from the door.

This dream was 2/2/2008

I'll use first initials only in this post and if different people have the same initial, it will be noted with a number following the initial.

J ,A, E & I were all together. We were going out to dinner for a girls night. J & A were both pregnant (only A is actually pregnant right now). I don't remember how, but A found out D had let his massuse give him a B.J. and she was devestated. We ended up going to his classroom (He's a teacher) and A started asking the principal questions about it. How could he let this kind of thing go on at his school...what was she doing there in the first place, what an inapropriate setting for a massage...just that type of thing. The whole hysterical woman bit. [the classroom was located up a concrete path that came up to a bank of classrooms, very similar to D wing at my junior high.] The principal told A that he had told them to take the "massage" inside after he caught them kissing outside of the room. A was furious that he hadn't told her what was happening.

We ended up going through the door that was to D's classroom, and inside looked like it was woodshop class from highschool. The layout was slightly different, but I knew it was woodshop. I don't remember staying very long...one of the girls approached the instructor (who wasn't D?) and then we left through a door on the other side of the room. When we came out, we were in some type of a county fair setting. There was a big open space that we walked out into, and to the left were some bleachers and a covered stage area where a sermon was taking place. To the right was another building...I think it served food. Directly in front of us was a large building that was either the 4H barns or whatever expo they used for craft exhibits and there was a water fountain next to the front entrance.

I don't remember who the pastor of the sermon was, and I don't remember his message...but I do remember that E & I agreed that he was "exactly right". We had lost A & J so we went to look for them and get some water (we were thirsty). When we got to the water fountain, we were putting water into dixie cups, drinking and refilling. J2 walked by me and he was leering at me. I remember politely smiling back at him and being very shocked at the type of look I was getting from him. He went over to the bank of classrooms and stood leaning against a wall just leering at me. The whole time E & I were looking for A & J, I could feel him watching me with that look...as soon as we found the other girls, we walked through another door and the scene changed. I never told them what had happened with J2, it was disturbing to me, but not big enough to begin public speculation over his character.

The door we left the fairground scene through took us to A's house and we all sat around comforting her. I remember we sang a few worship songs...some older updated hymn type's and some newer worship songs. I don't remember the songs, but I remember I knew them at the time. We all ended up going into another room that was set up like a campground. What's up with that? There was a tent and sleeping bags. D was there and he was drunk and beligerant and even though A was being civil to him, he was being an a**. He told her to get the hell out and called her names...just being really terrible to her. (this is totally out of character for him. He and A are expecting their second baby and they are really happy. Neither one of them drinks very much at all, and they are never drunk!) A started saying that she couldn't do this anymore, she just could live the rest of her life this way and that she was leaving. The girls and I were coming to aid her and I either woke up at this point, or I just don't remember any more.

Notes to self:

Classrooms
Random scenery changes when going through doors.
People acting uncharacteristly (D drinking and being abusive, A being hysterical)
Doors....

I'll be using initials in this one again.

I was walking up to a lower level door to what appeared to be an apartment complex...it reminded me of one in city that I grew up in. Hillchrest. Upon entering through the door, I saw K.K. (a girl I went to school with) sitting on the floor an dshe said, "Hi T, glad you could make it." I somehow knew that I'd been invited to join this club or sorority of some sory and I realized another girl I went to school with was there too. It was C.C., and she said "Hey T" and I suddenly realized they were not really happy about my invitation.

Other "Pledges" were there and we were all required to spend the inght. I and they all knew that my invite was only a technicality and that I was not required to participate in any of the initiation activities. My purpose was to be there to let the others know I had been invited for a special purpose and was hot help accountable to them or there imediate chain of command. I don't remember all of the activities, but I do remember everyone held me in some type of reverence, and everything they did...it was somehow for my benefit. But only K or C ever spoke to me directly...and only when they had to. I remember getting into pj's and getting comfortable on the couch. I remember looking around the room, and all of the other girls were really young...like late teens maybe early 20's. Everyone except for K, C and myself.

I remember "knowing" their thoughts as I saw them look at eachother. That my being there was not a good thing for them. But it didn't matter, how they felt...there was a task to accomplish...and that task included obedience to whoever it was that invited or brought me there in the first place.

Notes to self:

This is just really weird. I was never in a sorority and I never had a desire to be in a sorority...this has to be a metaphor for something else...I'm just not sure what...

This is a dream I had in January...it's the dream that brought me to DV and it's the dream that truly opened my eyes to the fact that my dreams were not normal dreams...they were something more than I knew.

I'm going to try to give detail, without getting overly personal...a lot of my dreams are very personal and probably will never make it to this journal...I'm not that ready to bare my soul...

While I don't have a the courage or a way to confirm this, I believe this was a shared dream.

I was in a house, and it was dusky outside. The house was dim as there were no lights on inside...and he was there. (I will only say he) and he was holding me. He kept kissing me and there was so much emotion in the kiss...there was so much depth. He was holding me to tightly, like he would never let me go...his arms were wrapped completely around me. It went on like this for a while...whispered sweet nothings. I remember him telling me that our time was short...that this was the only time we could have, right now...and it was far too short. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn't care...as long as I was in this moment, I didn't care (I'm a married woman with 2 children, I should have cared). Things went on like this for quite a while.

I remember telling him, finally, that he had to go or I had to go...that I had to tell my husband before we went any further. All I would have to do was to walk outside and call for him and he would be there and I could tell him...he had to wait for me to do that. It wouldn't be fair to do this to him.

He said that he was scared for me to leave...that I wouldn't come back and he couldn't risk it, couldn't we just enjoy this time...our time without bringing "him" into it. He took hold of me again and I was overcome with the moment. I was overtaken by love and all of the emotions and feelings that come along with it...I was on fire!

When I woke up, I could hear the sound of his breath in my ear...I could feel the heat of it; I could feel his arms around me as though he was with me in the physical. There was a true connection in this dream that I have never felt before. We were together in that space and time. I had such a feeling of loss when I woke up. I suddenly felt so alone...abandond. I missed him so much, I still do. But as with all memories...the emotion fades with time...

This one was a probably about a year ago...but I remember it fairly clearly.

I was walking down an street towards a bulding that was all lit up and there was lots of noise and music coming from the building. The whole street was lined with buildings, but there was no traffic and the only open business was the one with all the noise coming from it.

As I walked towards the door, I knew that my husband was dead (he's not in waking life) and the girls and I had been left alone. I was lonely and depressed and wanted to find some answers as to why we had been left all alone.

I went through the door and it was a bar. Not a meat market sleazy bar, but it was a bar. People were everywhere and I could hardly move through all of the people. It was all lit up with pink neon lights...so it was all pink, smoky and dark inside. As I made my way through the people, there was an empty table near the center of the room, near a staircase. As I sat at the table, the front entrance was to my left, the bar was directly to the right of the entrance and straight ahead of me was the set of stairs. Behind the stairs was more table space and to my right and behind me was more table space and a dance floor.

I sat at the table for a while, just watching all of the people, remembering how I used to go out and have and that I used to have someone in my life to do it with. After a few minutes, My X husband walked over and sat down at my table. I remember thinking, "Great, just great. Of all the people I could run into you have to be one of them." He was all over me, telling me that now that my husband was dead we could have another chance together. I told him I didn't want another chance with him. That we had been over for a long time and I wanted to leave it that way, I had no desire to rekindle anything with him. As I tried to walk away, he came and put his arms around me and was holding me and telling me how happy he was that we had another chance. I asked him, "Didn't you hear anything I just said? I don't want you! Leave me alone!"

At that time, a friend of mine...we'll call her T, came over and asked if everything was okay. L finally let go of me and T & I went up the stairs. Her brother (D) was there (we dated for a few months, but are amicable) and we sat up there for a while. The upstairs portion was little more than the size of a large living room and there weren't any walls, just a chain link fence surrounding it. I remember D & I talking for a while and we got on the subject of us. I told him that I knew he had 4 kids now, all with different moms (this is true!) and that that's not the kind of life I wanted for me and my girls. I didn't want to constantly have 4 other involved in my family life, I was sorry, I really was and didn't want to hurt him. I just couldn't walk down that road with him. He understood. We hugged and I went back downstairs (I have no idea where T went).

L was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me and tried to hold me again. I flipped out, big time! I told him to get his freaking hands off of me, "You have no right to touch me, at all!" I screamed at him. I broke away and left the bar and walked back into the street. I started walking back the way I came...just happy to be out of both of those stressful situations, and my X husbands sister comes walking towards me. WTH? I was nice to her, but she was furious with me. Didn't I know how much L loved me? How could I not give him another chance. I tried to tell her that I absolutely dested him, that she had no idea of the things he put me through and I would never, ever be a willing party to that again. She started yelling at me some more, and I just walked off. I remember walking for only a few steps and I was finally alone. I looked up into the sky and put my arms out wide and just wondered, "Why?". Why now? Why did this have to happen now, when the girls were so small? I would be fine...I would heal, but what about my babies...they would never know their father, not really know him. Who would be that for them? Nobody in that bar, that was for sure...I would make sure of that!

Emotion washed over me like a wave; I woke up.

I'll admit I have a lot of dreams about my X. They are never pleasant and very stressful. We've been divorced for almost 7 years now and I've been remarried almost 5...you would think they would stop at some point. He's not going to come back and try to kidnap me for Pete's sake!

So as the dream begins, I'm on my way back from somewhere. It's hot and sunny, like the warmest part of the summer. I'm on my way to my parents house to pick up a whole bunch of stuff I've been storing there, and my husband is there waiting for me. I'm not sure why he wasn't with me on my trip, but he wasn't. He stayed and hung out with my dad (it's almost sick how well they get along!)

I get to their house and my younger sister (B) is there with her two kids B2 & D [they are living with my parents while she is going through her divorce]. And B2 is running up to me and calling, "Auntie T, Auntie T! I'm so happy to see you, what took you so long to get here?" She is almost 5 and getting so big.

We all go inside [when I pulled up to my parents house, it was not the house they live in now. It was not a house I've ever seen before, but I knew everything I needed to know]. I get inside and ask, "Where's J? Isn't he here?" And they tell me, "No, he left." And here comes L [my x husband] walking down the hall to tell me he'll be taking me home. I am furious, "why did you even let him in your house? You know I don't want to have anything to do with him, why would you say this is okay?" They just look at me and say they don't want me making the trip all by myself (as though I haven't been making the trip "all by myself" for the last 7.5 years!) "Why the sudden concern?", I yell at them. And I go outside to start loading my things into the Jeep and onto one trailor.

There are two trailors full of stuff that I had apparantly wanted them to keep for me, and everything is organized and lined up by category (just the way I would do it if space weren't an issue...I'm very organized). But the strange thing is that it's not a lot of stuff that it even seems I need. There is produce and meat that has been sitting outside on the trailor for at least a few days. A few articles of clothing and some boxes...and this takes up two trailors? So I start sifting through everything, and my B2 is bringing me a produce bag full of oranges that have started to mold. "Just throw them out sweetie", I tell her. I take a good look at everything on the trailors and decide at a glance what I need and what I don't. The next thing I know, everything I'm keeping (which isn't much) is in the Jeep and the rest is in the garbage.

I go to get into the Jeep and L comes out of the house saying, "I'll drive the Jeep." This really ticked me off because it's how he was when we were married. I wasn't allowed to do anything for myself, even drive to the store. I just decide that I really don't want to fight with him and say, "That's fine, but I'm not riding with you, I'll take my truck". And what do you know, there's my truck (which should have been with J). So I get on the freeway and start driving south, towards home. For some reason, around Portland, I decide to pull off and get gas and then I decide to drop in on T2 (which is wierd because they live in ID).
[T is L's fiance. They got together about 4 months after we seperated. T2 & her fiance, at the time, were very good friends of ours. After I left, she took the opportunity to be with L. The two of them made my life very difficult for a while, which is a big part of why I moved so far away from home] So I lose L on the freeway, I am really sick of him following me around, and pop in on her. T2 comes running out of the house screaming, "What are you doing here? Where's L and how did you know how to get here?" I told her that I just decided to come and pulled up in front of the house, that was all she needed to know. "It's time you and I have a chat.", I tell her. She's not happy about any of this. As we are making our way inside, L pulls up in the Jeep. He gets out and you can just feel how uncomfortable he is with this situation. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?", he asks. I told him I wanted to come and I just knew how to get here. He looks at me, really distressed and asks, "You wanted to come here? You did this on your own?" and I tell Him, "Yes. But don't worry, everything will be fine."

So we all go into the house and her X fiance is there and her brother (both living there) and the 2 kids that her and L have together were there, along with the 2 sons that her and her X share. We walk down the hallway, away from the main living space where everyone in this big ol' screwed up family is gathered, to get some privacy to hash things out. She starts going off on me, "Why have you come here? Why would you do this? You can't have him back, he's mine now and we have 2 kids together!" I tell her, "I don't want him back, I've never wanted him back. In fact, I was actually glad when the two of you got together because it meant he would finally leave me alone!" She looks at me like she's shocked...she doesn't believe me. "Then what do we have to talk about?!", she's screaming at me in this shrill screatchy voice. "What we have to talk about is the damage you caused when you started rumors that I was on drugs! You have no idea the amount of turmoil you caused in my life; over your own insecurities! You practically forced me to have to leave town in order to get a fresh start. While you and L just sat around making me look like the freakshow, just to make yourselves look better! I never had any sort of problem with you until that point in time, how dare you stoop so low?!" I somehow knew that she was thinking, "I hope she doesn't dunk my face in water...so I turned on the water and held her face in the sink and then we had some more words and she tried to get physical with me.

This was a crucial point in the dream. Usually when things get physical, I lose all strength to fight back or defend myself. But I kept myself in control; took her wrists and wouldn't let her hurt me. I didn't hurt her either, I'm just not that way, but I was able to keep her from hurting me. She finally calmed down as she realized that I really only wanted to have my piece with her and was not there to hurt her or take what was hers.

She actually ended up apologizing to me for all of the terrible things she had said about me and the damage she had caused to my life circumstances. We ended up going out into the living room where she decided she wanted to do a palm reading on me (which is really wierd because I'm just not into that aspect of spirituality). She put this stuff on my palm, that dried like glue. They she tried to take it off and was going to do the reading from this "skin". She said it picked up all of the little lines and made it easier to read the palm. Well, the "skin" kept ripping and she decided she would use silly putty and do a mold of my palm instead, but we couldn't find any silly putty. Then she said, "Well, I've got some crayons and paper...we'll just do a rubbing of your palm. I'll still be able to get a good read off of your palm that way" I remember trying to do a rubbing of my palm and thinking, this is crap! I can't get enough pressure and it's not a flat surface...this is never going to work!

I don't remember anything more, I think that's when my daughter came in to bed with me.

Notes:

I have got to break whatever connection I have with him. It's not a good connection and it causes pain and trust issues in my current relationships. I have to find a way to sever the ties...

EDIT: I remember that as I was falling back asleep, after this dream, there was a face that was cartoonish and real at the same time...and I asked her, "I prayed before I went to sleep for understanding of the dreams I would have. I don't understand this."

She said to me (completely ignoring my question), "Do you know what time it is?"

I answered, "No I don't know what time it is, I only wrote the notes and went back to sleep. Why does it matter what time I dream?"

She said to me, "Just know that it does. You need to look at the times, when you wake up."

Then it looked liked she was sucked through an opening of some type and was gone.

I laid there for a minute, thinking...that is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard. Write down the time? Like I want to mess around and risk waking up K (my daughter). Then I rememberd something that someone on this forum told me very recently...."whatever they ask you to do, do it. They will not ask you to do anything you can't or shouldn't. Just be Nike about it and "Just do it!". So I did. Then I remembered, in my prayers, I had asked for the strength and desire to be obedient to whatever it was that the Lord would have me do. If it's noting the time...I'll note the time. This one was 1:45 am and I'll edit the next entry with the time as well.

This one and the last entry were both dreams from the 28th.

This was a really strange dream. I'm only going to tell of it...the rest of it was just too wierd to share. For those of you who have read my DJ...I have dream issues, so you know it's out there when I'm not going to share it.

So I pull up to church and Pastor K and his wife S are there waiting for me. [They are in charge of childrens ministries, and I make the reminder calls for service volunteers and help with the scheduling]. So we go into start the meeting, and everything seems to be going along as it would in waking life. The meeting is over, so I am leaving the church and going to my car to go home. As I get to the Jeep, I notice that there is a line of shops with a very wide walking/driving path along the front. Well, I am driving very slowly by the shops. I really wanted to get a good look at them, and at the same time be careful of any people.

Well there weren't any people until I am coming up on a particular shop. There is a bunch of junk out front and what appears to be gang members. There is a guy handing money to another guy sitting in a chair outside the shop [the shop is completely open on the front. There is no door, it's just open...like a stage set would be] I am trying to drive around all of this junk, not hit any of the people out front and avert my eyes from whatever dealings are going on out front.

I am suddenly wondering what made me want to check this out. There is no one around, except for these gang members and this is obviously a situation that I do not want to implicate myself in. Well, I get to the end of the path, and I am suddenly walking, not in the car anymore. At the very end, there is what appears to be a furniture store, it's a two story store, and I am on the top level. (Not sure how I drove a car up stairs, but I did) So, I find a spiral staircase that leads downstairs, and go down. It's very dim downstairs...mostly bedroom sets, so I figure they're just trying to make it look the part. Well, Pastor R and someone else that he's "training" are standing at the top of the stairs. Pastor R is telling this other man that he just needs to trust him and do as he says, everything will be fine. Suddenly both of their spirits seperate from their bodies. One is neon blue and the other is neon pink. They just start zipping all around the staircase and all over the lower level and I am so intrigued by all of this.

I go and find a set of bunk beds and make my self comfortable on the bottom bunk and just watch them floating around the room. All of a sudden, there is yelling coming from the path on the upper level, and pastor R says, "Come with me, you need to see this.", and the other man (they are still in spirit form) says, "No! I don't want to see it, I don't need to see it. Don't take me up there!" And Pastor R is telling him, "Yes, you need to see what is going to happen, take my hand and come with me." Well, I am very curious as to what it is they are going to see and am watching intently...it's almost like they don't even realize that I am there at all. They both pop their heads and upper torso's up through the ceiling to see what is happening on the path and I try to join them. I am willing my spirit self to join them in the ceiling...but I just can't do it...and my effort is interupted by the sounds of guns with silencers on them. You can hear the shots; peeew, peeew, peeew...for what seemed like minutes. And then nothing. I realize there is a ledge directly in front of and above me and that someone could see me, since I could see the ledge. I get up to walk away and hide in the part of the store that is under the path and one of the gang members sees me, he's leaned over the ledge and spotted me before I could hide! He yells, "Hey, there's a Bi*** hiding down here, you better get down here!" Then there's guys coming from 2 sets of stairs (the spiral set and another at the other end of the section of store under the path) The one who saw me flips over the ledge and grabs me...he's holding both of my arms and the look on his face says exactly what he is going to do. I'm scared to death...he's enjoying saying what I have coming to me and seeing the terrified look in my eyes...and that scares me even more...then the alarm goes off and I'm awake.

I have to say, I'm glad I woke up when I did for this dream....thank you alarm...

This was in late Jan or early Feb. Soon after I started and one of only 2 LD's I had until the last week or so.

I got a phone call from K & S (they were both on the phone) asking if I wanted to come over to the church and hang out with them and their friends. I was a little confused by them only wanting me to come hang out; without J & the girls...but I asked J what he thought and he said it would be okay. So I said okay. Just before we hung up the phone, K asks me if I like to take shots and I answer, "You know I used to, but not so much these days. I really don't drink anymore."

I drove over to the church, and when I walked in the front half was pretty much how the church should look. A foyer with tables, chairs and a coffee stand. However, the back half of the church, was setup exactly like the house I spent 14 years in growing up. The back half had the same living room, dining room and kitchen.

K & S ask me how I'm doing and I say I'm fine, "What's up?", I ask. They say, "Not much. We were just thinking it would be nice for you to hang with us and our friends tonight." I'm thinking, "Okay, but this is weird...they are such family people, but where's J (their daughter)." Then they ask me if I want a beer, or a glass of wine. I look at them and say, "Are you crazy?? What if Pastor D walks in, why would you drink at church? Why are you drinking at all?" And S looks at me and says, "Oh, Pastor D & K drink a beer together every day." I am shocked, totally and completely shocked. What about all of the teachings regarding not drinking? What was this blatant hyprocacy?

I decline to have anything but water and they start with the "peer pressure" and I finally said, "Fine, I'll have a glass of wine." just to get them to leave me alone. As I look around the room, it has filled with people who are drinking, being rude and being lewd. [They are not people that K & S would normally hang out with. They have a pretty tight circle and it's mostly pastoral staff...they would just not hang out with a crowd that was drinking and smoking. Me on the other hand, I have friends on both sides of the law, so to speak.] It's just too weird, K starts taking out a bottle of whiskey and is taking and handing out shots...he asks if I want one. "No, no thanks.", I say. I've had 2 sips of my wine...tiny sips that were aimed at appeasing the pressure people, but I felt like I had drank much more than that. I stood up and walked to the back half of the building and sat on a couch. I was looking at everything that was going on, and I was just so shocked and dissapointed at the behavior I was seeing. It's not that I have an issue with people who smoke and drink...it's that the people who invited me there activly preach against such things. It was just so wrong, they were liars...

I look at S and I tell her, "I can't stay here anymore, I can't be a part of this." She just looks at me, she doesn't say anything.

I drive home, I've only been gone a couple of hours, so J should be happy I'm coming home. I get there, and the door's locked! Why would he lock me out? He hears me fumbling for my keys and comes to let me in...he's acting weird. From down the hall comes this transient musician. He's all strung out on coke and pot, and I just look at J; completely baffled. Why on earth would he let some strung out stranger in our home with our children? I look at J and realize that he's been doing drugs with the guy and wants to buy some...what is going on?? Has everybody gone completely crazy? You don't put your children in a position like this!? What was he thinking and why was I the only person who saw a problem with all of the events of the evening??

Then I wake up.

This dream from last night was just really strange and disconnected...the story was altered from scene to scene and when I woke up to make my notes, it didn't even make any sense to me. I was in and out of lucidity, so that could have something to do with it. Time was 5:30 am.

It started out with a group of people that was really random. G, an old friend of mine was there; along with some people that I know now. We were all sitting around in a room talking about how we were going to handle this situation, and I have no idea now what that situation was. Well, we had all decided on a course of action, hopped in our respective cars and were on our way. Well, on the way to my car I ran into a lady I know from church (S). Whe was there with her nephew (I have never seen this kid in my life) and he had some serious developmental/behavioral issues. Being around this kid was like being around someone you'd think was posessed. He was just completely out of control and S was saying that she just didn't know how to deal with him. We ended up at a doctors office and the doctor was trying to calm him down and give him some sort of sedetive. He's chasing this kid around a room with a seringe and the kid is just freaking out. He was probably around 3 years, but had the cognitive awareness of a much older child and the behavior of one much younger and very disturbed. The doctor gave up and we went back to our cars.

We were back on track for our mission...whatever that was and S crashed into my car. I remember that we got everyone out. I had G, C and someone else with me and we're all out and trying to get everything out of the jeep. I pulled 5 different carseats out of my rig. I only have 2 kids, so I remember thinking, "Where did all these carseats come from and how did anyone ever fit in my car with them in there? This is a really wierd dream."

Well, the next part of our mission involves K (my daughter) and I having to get past a giant. We are standing against a white wall with a single door. The wall is huge, it goes up and out as far as I can see and it's white. The door is either brown or red...or a redish brown; through the door is a giant and past him is just an outdoor scene. The giant is huge!!! He must have been 30 or 40 feet tall. Our goal was to run through his legs, to get to the outside, while distracting him by eating ice cream (K has been asking for ice cream a lot, so this may be where that came from). So I give K her dish of ice cream and tell her to take a bite and run through his legs. She has to try it a couple of times, but she gets us through.

Now we're outside and off on a cross country trek. K is no longer with me, but all of the people from the begining of the dream are there. We are making this hike across hills and rocks and end up on top of a hill of rocks looking over the entire landscape. It was really beautiful. Hills, rocky mounds, trees and fields...then I'm awake.

Edit: I'm wondering now, if I didn't somehow get sucked into one my daughters to help her deal with a giant. This was the only part of my dream that she was in...and it just seems odd that after we got past the Giant...she was gone and I was back with my people...strange...

This dream starts up in a house that's being used as a bar...I don't know if it was an actual bar or a house party set up to look like a bar.

A lot of my friends were there and C was running the bar. We are all just hanging out and having a good time. C says, "Well, it's time to make the special drink." I'm all, "Special drink? What the heck is the special drink?" He tells me I'll just have to wait and see. All I know is it has Vodka in it. He pours the concoction into a very large baking dish. It looks the way whipped cream does in the begining stages of making whipped cream, but it has a sort of fuzzy appearance and when he was rolling it back and forth in the pan, it was really trippy looking. It didn't move the way a thick liquid should look, and I flat out told him there was no way I was drinking that.

Well, I had to run home for a bit and get the mail (weird, I know) so I take off and tell him I'll be back soon. I'm in the house, standing at the kitchen counter with the TV on looking at some papers and getting ready to get the mail. I see the dome light come on in the jeep, so I look outside and the door's open and there's a freaking looking guy standing there. I turn off the TV, turn off the lights and hit the alarm button for the jeep in the hopes that he would know he was caught or was going to be caught and run away.

I go out side and start to approach him. I ask, "What do you think you're doing? You need to get away from my car." He has my mail in his hands and says, "Oh, I was just getting your mail for you." Then I asked him why he was getting into my car and he didn't have an answer. He starts in with, "Look, I was just trying to be nice and get your mail for you." and he starts looking at me and I notice that his face is really sinister...he's got this wild look in his eyes. He's talking in circles and starting to move towards me and I start yelling at him, really loudly, to get away from me. He's still moving towards me and a car with a guy from the party pulls up across the street and he gets out and starts walking towards me asking if everything is okay. The crazy man looks really worried that someone else is there and just dissapears and the mail is left on my car seat. I told the guy that I was fine now, thanks for checking. He said that they were all getting worried because I'd been gone for so long and they sent him to come check on me.

So we go back to the bar and pretty much pick up where we left off. I walk up to the bar and C picks up the baking dish with the Vodka concoction in it and starts to roll it back and forth again (it moves like oil would move with a layer of water over it) and it starts to turn a clear golden amber color and it thins way out. He says to me, "You have to try this. Trust me, you just have to try it." He pours some in a small tumbler and hands it to me. I am really nervous about tasting this stuff, it was so weird looking...but it smells okay. So I put the glass to my lips and I take the smallest sip; I let it sit on my tounge for a moment and am pleasantly surprised. I say, "It tastes like cream soda!" And then I wake up.

These 2 are from last night, but I don't remember the time's. I had 4 total, but the other 1 is long...so I will post it seperately.

E.K.'s Wedding in Vegas

This was weird. I was E.K.'s wedding in Vegas (we went to school together) and it was a really huge room with stairs that went up to a split level that surrounded the floor and ceremony area. It was huge...like convention center huge. All along the outer wall of the upper portion of the room were floor to ceiling windows and it was beautiful outside. The main light in the room was coming in from the windows and E and I were drinking wine at one of the drink tables; watching all of the people coming in. They had rented this huge room, but only about 50 people showed up...and she was upset that none of the people she really wanted to be there were among them.

We decided to go look around for more people. We walked to the entrance to the room and opened the double doors and walked straight into the halls of our highschool. The halls were empty since everyone was in class, except for us (we are way to old for highschool!) We were still holding our drinks in our hands and realized that we shouldn't have alchohol in school. Just as we are making our way back to the double doors, a teacher or secretary of some sort walks over to us and says, "You know, you really shouldn't have wine in this section." And we tell her, "Yes, we realized that and were just on our way out." We looked at eachother like, "whew, that was close" and giggled...I don't remember any more.

A Date With Mr. T??

In this dream, I remember being in a parking lot that was just way too crowded and busy...I had to run into the store for something and my dad was waiting for me in his car. He told me to hurry up, he was ready to get out of here. So, I'm on my way back out and my dad is totally jammed between other cars trying to maneuver his way out when Mr. T gets out of a car and walks up to me. "Hey, you need to come with me.", he says. So, I wave to my dad and go with Mr. T. (he looks like he did when he was in The A Team.) We get to his apartment, which is sort of sleazy, and there are 2 other men in the room. I suddenly put on a "tough" persona as he tells one of the men that he needs to leave now. He needs to talk to the other guy alone. But he doesn't ask me to leave. The first guy walks to the door and I look at him with my aloof expression and only for a moment before I intentionally turn my back on him. Then Mr. T starts to talk to the other guy. He's talking about how he had better come up with something and fast, don't forget he owes him big time. I have no idea what they were talking about...for some reason, it felt like this was an illeagal exchange. So, they finish their conversation and the second guy leaves. Through out this exchange with the other 2 men, I felt the need to be on my guard. It was very important for me to have on the street savy, tough persona and maintain and aloof approach to the exchange.

Then Mr. T walks up to me and starts apologizing that I had to see that, and I just say, "It's fine...I've seen much worse. But don't worry, I know how to keep my mouth closed." I am much more relaxed now, feeling like myself. He just smiles, like he's saying, "I know, that's why I brought you." and then he gets this look on his face and starts to sort of come on to me. I just look at him and say, "Look man, you're old enough to be my dad and I'm just not okay with going here."

It was then that my 4 year old crawled in bed with me and woke me up...so I have no idea where this would have went or what I may have learned...

This dream took place in two different intervals, but I'm going to post it as one dream. It was at about 8:45am when I woke up from it.

This dream took happened in a place that was a cross between my hometown and where I live now. But in my dream, I lived in CA. It starts out with my parents having just finished building my new home. They actually built it themselves. It wasn't completely finished, but it was ready to move into. So, I am in but I have to go to work that day and want to take a shower. I'm talking with my dad about what is going to be done today and my sister, brother-in-law and their 2 kids show up. I'm happy to see them, but a little frusterated because I still need to get ready for work. We talk for a few minutes and they look at how much as been done and I say, "Okay, you guys can stay, but I have to take a shower." So my niece, nephew and oldest daughter follow me into the bathroom and won't leave. My daughter is going, "Mommy, I stanky...I need take a shower with you." I'm telling her, "No, not today honey...mommy's in a hurry today." and she's mad. "no mommy, I need take a shower, Iiiii stanky!" So, I recruit my sister to help me get the kids out of the bathroom and when I go back in the shower curtain's gone! I go out and holler at the other construction workers, "What the heck did you do with the shower curtain?!" and one of them is telling me that it should be hanging up. I tell him, "It was, but now it's not. How am I supposed to shower? This is the only completed bathroom!" He just looks at me like, "I don't know what to tell you." Then I look at my sister and say, "Wait! It's Saturday isn't it?" and she says, "Yeah." and I'm so excited because I realize that I don't have to work on Saturdays! (This is sort of strange because I am a stay at home mom. But in my dream, my husband wasn't even a part of the equation...so I must have realized that if I don't have a hubby w/a good job, I have to work.) Then I remember it's a dream and I don't need a shower anyway, and I am magically ready.

Next, I get a call from the police station telling me I can come and get my furniture. (??? I have no idea why my furniture was at the police station) So I go downtown and meet my friend S to go the the police station w/me and she says, "Follow me, I'll show you the way." and she takes off running really fast...so I follow her. It was so great! We were running so fast and leaping off of curbs and landing in the middle of the street and taking off running again (this is the first dream I can remember that I have ever been able to run in...and boy did I run!) The streets are shining like they are wet, I can feel the cool air against my face and hair and I am so elated to be running like this! We get to the police station and S has to use the bathroom. So we go into the bathroom and it's like a home bathroom with 2 toilet stalls. Some guys were leaving as we went in and one of the bath towels was hanging on the rack, but it wasn't hung nicely (I'm a little OCD about things being neat and orderly) so I go to straighten it and it's all wet! I'm ticked, he used my good towels to get dried off with?? S is saying it's only a towell, and I tell her, "I know, but other people have to use these. If he had told me he needed a towel, I would have gotten him one out of the cabinet to use." I leave S in the bathroom and to into the main part of the station and show my ID to check my stuff out. They point it out to me and I recruit to hispanic ladies to help me push it home. Apparantly everything was set up on chairs with rollers on them and I just needed bodies to help me push it all home. They agree to help me and I go outside with them and point them in the direction of my home and tell them I'll catch up with them. They look at me like they are confused and I just say, "Don't worry. I can run while I push them...I can catch up!" So they shrug their shoulders and start pushing the furniture down the sidewalk. As I am on my way back into the station, an officer meets me in the street and says there's a problem with my ID. I tell him that I showed it to the clerk and everything was fine. He shows me his clipboard and the numbers and letters are all mismatched and don't make sense, I pull out my CA license, which looks fine, and say, "I don't know what happened. This is the license I gave them." He says, "Don't worry, it's just a misunderstanding and he'll just need to take a photocopy of my ID and I can be on my way. He walks back into the station and I am slowly following.

In the span of 2 seconds, it's night time. I am walking past a big' old 70's style Ford or Chevy truck and there's a lady in the drivers seat and a man in the passenger seat. They are smoking crack!! I take a closer look as the passenger is getting out of the truck and I realize that it's John Travolta. He looks younger (like in Phenomenan), with hair like the angel movie he did, but scruffier and they both looked strung out. I start to walk around the back of the truck to go and talk to him and it turns on his heals to get back in the truck. He doesn't want to talk to me. He shuts the door and starts to roll up the window and I say, "No, now come on, just wait a minute. Seriously, I just want to ask you a quick question." He's holding a crack pipe in his hands (I'm not sure what a crack pipe looks like, but I knew it was one.) and he just looks at me and says, "Fine...ask your question." I make it quick because I know he doesn't want to talk to me and ask, "I just want to know why you're smoking crack in the parking lot of the police station. I meen, of all the places you could go...why the police station?" He looks like he's pleasantly surprised by my question and looks at me and says, "Well, why not? They're [parking lots] all police stations anyway, aren't they? I mean everywhere you go; gas stations, grocery stores, banks...they all have cameras inside and in the parking lots and you're being watched everywhere you go and they could call the police...so why not just go to the police station?" I look at him with wonderment at the answer I received...like I had just been imparted with some great wisdom and said, "Thanks!" and he just looked at me, gave me the John Travolta wink and two finger wave and went back to smoking crack as I walked into the police station.

It was at this point that I am woken up by my 4 year old; standing at the front door [closed and locked] yelling, "Daddy!!! Daddy!!! Daddy!!!" (He didn't come home last night) and I jump out of bed to tell her he isn't home and she needs to stop yelling before she wakes up her sister! I was so irritated...but how was she to know that I was in the middle of a great dream? And, if she's up and around...I really should be too! But man...I would have loved to see that dream through to the end...

I had to take NyQuil last or I would have been up coughing all night...so my recall is pretty poor for this entry. Something tells me it wouldn't be great even if I hadn't taken NyQuil...it was a strange dream. I'll journal the next dream seperatly...I'm getting to this later than usual and will have to wait for nap time to get the other dream in.

I was totally lucid for this dream and I've had it before.

There is something wrong with my daughter, L, and there are just flashes of scenes without the opportunity to interact. Everything is moving so fast and I don't have a chance to absorb anything. The colors are everywhere...just in a jumble, then I will get another flash of the actual dream and I remembered I've been here before, I've seen this before...but it wasn't L, it was K...my other daughter. At that time, L & K are changed in the dream, and it is K who I am seeing in the flashes. During the dream it felt like it was at least 20 or 30 minutes...but I really have no idea how long it may or may not have lasted. I felt very removed from what I was seeing...like I was watching a television show or something...I was seeing glimpses of something that involved me and I could see myself in the flashes...but I couldn't hold on to anything long enough to get a really good idea of what was actually happening.

Time was about 7am. There will probably be a few entries with reference to man that I will only call either he or him. Get used to it...

It seems that J was there for a while, but I didn't want him there so he dissapeared.

He and I are out to dinner and we run into C & B (a gal and a guy that were "boyfriend and girlfriend" in second grade. They have never went out since...but they were together for this dream) There is another guy following us (we'll call him G), G keeps trying to make me interested in him, but I'm not. I'm only interested in "him". G finally goes away. My family is there with all of the nieces and nephews running around like lunatics and it's totally crazy, so we decide to leave. We go out of a side door that goes into a bar (a bar i've been to in my dreams before) and out the back door. We walk along a boardwalk to a set of stairs that leads down a hill to a giant event tent where there is a highschool reunion...my highschool reunion.

It suddenly makes sense that C & B were reunited and upstairs enjoying a peaceful dinner, away from the crowd. We mingle for a bit, and decide to go back upstairs and say our goodbyes. It's time to get going...we've decided to eat at "home". As we're saying goodbye, we (I) get distracted by conversation and suddenly he turns towards me and leans into my ear, like he's going to whisper something to me...but he just starts breathing onto my ear and neck and kissing my neck; I can feel his scruff. His hands are running all along my back and then he pulls me close and starts to kiss and nibble on my earlobe. The people we were talking with are starting to look uncomfortable, so we excuse ourselves.

We came seperately, so we make plans to meet back up at his house (I'm not sure if it's his house or just a place we go or call home). I get there and I'm waiting and waiting and he's taking forever...so I decide to go ahead and throw the meat on the grill. I'm just getting ready to flip it over when he walks in with grocery bags. He says he decided to get some stuff for sides...and sees that the steaks are almost done. He says something like, "Huh, you already started the meat?" I said that I had, but I don't remember most of the dialogue. He hurry's to get the sides started, and we have some time to kill. He looks at me with "that" look and moves towards me. He's just taking me in his arms and I'm woken up by my daughter....

Last night was another wierd night of dreaming. I remember having 2 dreams...but the first one is just outside of my grasp...I remember having it, but I don't remember what it was about! My daughter woke me up in the middle of it...so that could be a part of it, but I also had to take nyquil again last night...my cough is pretty much gone today, so hopefully I'll be back to some good, memorable dreams tonight!

I was woke up from this dream at 7:30am. It was one dream...at least I think it was, and it was long. But I can only remember two scenes and none of the connecting information that makes the scenes make sense.

The first scene I remember is being in a grocery store. I had been to another store before that and bought some new binky's and something else for my baby girl, and had just stuk the packages in my purse. My purse isn't that big, so they were sort of sticking out and one of the store workers asked me to take them out of my purse. I did and told them that I had bought these elsewhere, but she said she would have to verify that. Well, she starts comparing what I have in my purse to what's on the shelf and they don't even have the same brand that I had bought. I'm given back my packages, the clerk looks dissapointed that I hadn't stole them...like she wanted me to be in trouble and I just remember saying, "Thanks, I told you they weren't stollen." Then I remember going up and down aisles...I don't remember if I was looking for something or hiding from something.

Next scene is really strange. The entire scene melds according to what the narrator is saying. I am being told something by a man's deep voice. I'm talking deep and rumbling. I can hear the voice with my ears, but it's like it's coming from my head. And the voice is telling me about a curse.

The curse is on the blood. There is cursed blood, slowly infiltrating the water system of the place I am at (I look around and it looks like a very large, well taken care of, old castle or manor) and as I look back in front of me there is a row of 3 fountains set in a wall of stone...sort of like you would see for a decorative garden fountain, but these were drinking fountains. Each fountain had a glass "jar" above it with a tube that led to the water line. The voice tells me that whoever lets the blood touch them in any way will be struck with a certain type of anemia (he said the name of it, but I don't remember it now) and that they will begin to bleed uncontrolably and die. I have to warn everyone there to leave and not to go near or drink the water.

3 young boys, probably junior high age, come over to the fountains and I suddenly have a vision in my minds eye of all of the other people and what they are doing and realize that I have to warn all of them now! It can't wait, I have to tell them now, before it's too late! Then my focus is back on the boys and they are going to get drinks from the fountains. I start to explain to them what is happening here and that they can't drink the water here, that it will turn to blood and they will die if it touches them. They laugh at me and think I am crazy and start to drink anyway. As they start to drink, the jars above the fountains begin to fill with blood. I am feeling an urgency and am getting ready to take action when....my husband shakes my arm and says, "is K going to school today? It's 7:30." Crap, I have to have her there in an hour!! There went that dream.

I wish I could remember more of what happened, and how it all connected. It seems like the voice was a part of everything I did, but I only truly remember hearing it at the "castle". I have never dreamt about blood before...how strange...

This is one I had in August. I actually talked to my pastor about this one, as it was a recurring theme. Once I decided not to let my fear dictate me...the dreams have stopped. I haven't had one since this one, but since I'm writing about it...I probably will, lol!

The dream starts out with my getting a phone call. The person on the other end of the line is telling me that he has my husband and that he'll be contacting me soon to give me the specifics on the ransom. I'm thinking, "Ransom? What do these people think we are...millionaires?? Where am I going to get a ransom?" I'm trying not to go into panic mode just yet, and wait for them to call back. I'm doing my best to go about my daily routine so that I don't worry my kids, but my mind keeps wandering to the fact that my husband has been kidnapped.

I finally get a call from the kidnappers and they tell me that they want 1 million dollars in exchange for my husband. I tell them that I don't have a million dollars...but I will sell everything I can to get them whatever I can. They tell me that won't cut it, it's a million or he dies. They also tell me not to call the police or they will shoot him anyway. Okay, now I'm panicking! Where the heck am I going to come up with a million dollars. So what do I do? I call the police! I tell them everything the kidnappers said so that they know to be very secretive about their involvement. They tap my phones from the switch and place discrete surveylance around my home and block. I call my mother in law and my parents and am telling them that I have to come up with a million dollars or they are going to kill J, but no one seems to have that kind of money laying around. The kidnappers call again and tell me where and when to meet them with the money...and that I had better have it. I keep telling them that I don't have it...that I can't get it! Isn't there something else I can do? I'll give them everything I've got! They say no and realize that I really can't come up with a million dollars. I know that they are realizing that they kidnapped the wrong guy...but they can't let it go at this point. In my minds eye, I see them take him to a dock and shoot him in the head.

He falls to the ground and is completely lifeless. I grab the kids and drive over to the dock. The police meet me there...there is law enforcement everywhere. Ambulances, firetrucks...you name it. I could see all of the flashing lights but I could only focus on the lifeless body of my husband, lying there on the docks. My oldest daughter keeps going over to him and telling him to wake up. "Get up daddy, wake up! Why won't you get up?!" I grab her and tell her to stay back, that he can't get up...he's dead. Someone killed him and he'll never get up again. I'm trying to call my mother in law to come and help me and because she needs to know...but my phone won't work. I can't seem to get the buttons to work. I try over and over, but I can't seem to get the phone to work (I didn't realize that device failure is common in dreams). Somehow, she shows up and is crying and takes my girls away. I'm standing there talking to the police, trying to figure out why someone would do this. Why would they even think that we have that kind of money? I'm so upset and so panicked...then I wake up.

Throughout this dream, I woke up several times...only to fall right back into the same dream. Usually when I wake up from a dream, it is either over, or it changes. But this one picked up with the same storyline in the same place as when I woke up. I think I made myself wake up 3 times before I finally woke up for good at the end. This was one of those dreams that had really high intensity emotion too.

The last couple of nights have been hard with recall. I have had 2 dreams that I can remember having...but I can't remember at all what they were about. I had a dream this morning and it was a long one, but I can only remember a little bit of it...I'll go ahead and post it now.

I was at my sisters with my kids and I remember that there was a rat or a mouse or something. I put some powdered rat poison in a glass and went to fill it with water (I'm not sure why). As I was filling the glass, my nephew ran in and jumped up and started to drink the water from the tap, getting a little from the cup in his mouth. I just lowered the cup so he wouldn't drink any more of the rat poison and let him keep drinking from the faucet. I remember we kept watching him throughout the night, and he didn't seem to be suffering any ill effects. We thought he must have been imune to the poison.

We decided we were going to make some dinner. Dinner was made outside, like we were camping or something. The plates and utensils were lined up on the bed of an SUV, and dinner had been made with camp stoves on a camp table. We all dished up and started eating. The only thing I remember eating was Broccoli, and it did not taste good. It tasted like Meth (I know this from another life) and I told my sister that it tasted like Meth. She agreed (even though she's never done it) and we decided that somehow some of the rat poison must have gotten in the water was used to cook the broccoli. Then we decided that rat poison must be one of the ingredients in Meth and she was so glad that I'd been clean for so long (13 years!) and I agreed. Next I remember that we were driving down the highway and some of the scenes that I saw were strange, really strange. I remember thinking how odd they were, but I don't remember what they were.

That's all I can remember.

I remembered more, but the longer I'm awake, the less I am remembering so I'm going to post the only fragment I recall and edit later if they come back to me at all.

1. I remember that I was grocery shopping, but the only thing in my cart was Brocolli.

This dream was about a month ago and I've been meaning to post it. I only remember scattered detail, but it was a very interesting dream.

I was in my house, but my house looked very different from how it looks now, and it was actually next door to where I live now. It's like we bought the house next door, tore it down and built a new one. I remember looking out my bathroom window at one point and the fence that seperates the yards was gone and the window was right on the border of where it used to be and the house I live in now was just vacant.

I remember that I wanted to take a bath, but I was a little nervous. I had just joined DV and had been reading all of the NS/DW posts and all the evil entity in the astral planes and I was very nervous about dreaming. I didn't want to fall victim to some dream evil...but I reminded myself that I I had prayed for the Lords protection before I went to sleep and there was no evil that could harm me as long as I was under His protection...so I took a bath.

As I was soaking in the tub, I noticed that about 20 feet above me, there was a ledge or an opening or tunnel of some sort and someone was watching me! I looked more closely and it was Luke Spencer from General Hospital (it's my daytime vice ). I asked what he was doing watching me and the next thing I know he's standing right in front of me and I'm out of the tub in a towel or robe. He has the Luke look like he's trying to pull a con on me of some sort, but I'm not falling for it. He then remindes me of something that happened/I had done in a dream that I'd had a while back and I have this flash of memory that was a real as any WL memory. I asked him how he knew about that since he hadn't been there, and he looked at me all sly and said, "Well now darlin', I've been watching you for quite a while now, didn't you know?" I knew that he only looked like Luke and wondered who he really was...and I had very distinct memories of having the feeling that someone was watching me, lurking around just out of sight or in the shadows hiding. I told him that until he was ready to approach me and stop hiding, I had nothing to say to him and he had to leave...and he was gone. I knew that he wasn't really luke and stood there for a moment pondering over the fact that he had not only taken Luke's look, but many of his nuances as well. He had done a very good job with his masque.

Next I remember looking out the bathroom window and seeing a man and a boy looking for something in my backyard, and didn't even seem to care that it was my backyardl I called to them, and the man came over to the window and told me that he had lost a ring in my backyard and wondered if I could come and help them. I remember having a flash in my minds eye of what the ring looked like, and couldn't understand what he was doing in my backyard with it in the first place...but I know how I would feel if something I valued were lost...so I went out and started to help them. He looked totally fine, but I was getting a really creapy feeling from him. Like he was up to something else and I remember saying, "You know, it's dark and hard to see anything right now, I think the best think for you would be to come back tomorrow and you and my husband can use metal detectors or something. We're not going to find anything now." Then he just came at me, and I was just so surprised that I didn't even try to move. He pushed me down on the ground and put his foot on my upper chest and held me down. I don't remember what he said or what his intent was, but I remember knowing that the man who looked like Luke was still nearby and calling for him, "Luuuuukkkkkeeee!!!!" This was the first time that I have ever yelled in a dream, I don't know why, but I've never been able to yell in dreams before. It was a slow motion yell, but it was loud and I remember having a vision of Luke coming back into my dream and the scene was shattered. I think I woke up soon after, or the dream ended at that point.

Notes:

It was very strange to be in a dream and remember something from another dream...like it was a seperate life with memories of it's own. I actually posted about this, and I think it just may be...