Thread: Hootman's DJ

Sorry for not posting, I have been busy and only wrote it on a notepad. Heres one I had last night:

Thursday, March 20th: Dane Cook

I was walking to my local starbucks, when I got there I sat down, and started looking through some persons backpack (seemed like a good idea back then). A girl in her mid twenties started to stare at me, she was like "what are you doing ?!" I hesitated and said "ummmmm...this is my backpack..." She then looks extremely relived and says "oh, sorry." I then dropped the backpack and sat down. About thirty seconds later Ashton Kutcher arrives and says "Hey sweetie" to the girl and kisses her on the cheek, then picks up the backpack I was searching through I started to freak out. 'Oh shit! I was searching through Ashton Kutcher's (He was the star of the butterfly effect, and Punk'd) backpack and his girlfriend saw me! *sigh* Time to get sued...' He smiles at me in a kind of homosexual way and walks away.
My dream reverts to the Community Center of my town, and I walk in. I'm almost in, and I hear very annoying pop songs such as SOS and some songs from Fergie (no offence to anyone that likes her). I get in, the place is like a play, everyone was dancing on the stage, and there are elevated seats. I see all the very annoying girls from my school dancing. And when I say annoying...I mean the most immature annoying people you will ever meet. I really have no idea why I am there, but I didn't want to waste the $15 I spent to get in (which I didn't, I just thought I did for some reason). I start looking around for anyone I know, which there isn't. I decide I will just sit down, so I walk up to sit down. I look to my left and see none other than Ashton Kutcher and his girlfriend. Great... He sees me and smiles "Hey! It's that kid from starbucks, how are you man!" Well I guess he isn't mad at me . His girlfriend and him are really nice, but I dont really get why they are at some random girls party...whatever. After about 15 minutes of just chillin with them, the lights go dim. I hear an 'OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG' in the background. The curtains open up and I see...no that cant be him...what the hell. Dayne Cook was now on the stage .
He runs out smiling (its a really big stage) and slips on somthing, laughs and pretends he meant to do it, then slips again and fall flat on his face . He gets up, red faced, and starts to tell a joke. He then asks for a volunteer, I didnt even raise my hand but he calls on me. I walk down the stage with all the preppy annoying girls gossiping in the background, He says hes going to do a funny prank on me. All of the sudden a flame shoots out of the ground right in front of me. The kind of flame when you turn on your stove, but about 4 ft tall. Everyone starts to crack up, and I start to back up when another flame comes up behind me. "Oh no you dont Mr.Silly! you cant get away from Dayne!" there was an eruption of laughter, more people came down and more fire flew out of the ground. Everyone was laughing and having a good time. Ashton Kutchers girlfriends gets burnt up in flames, Ashton is just pointing and laughing at her. Everyone is cracking up and more and more people are getting burnt to death. I am just standing there going .