Synapses Burning; joshbotch's dreams

A starting point

seems fitting to start this dream journal with the first drean i ever had, i was only 3 or 4 years old and i have never written it down, it has always just been a part of me.

i was camping with my father, his girlfriend sognya, and some random other people. i was with an older boy playing, we were collecting frogs in a big yellow bucket. the aurora borealis were happening overhead. we had the bucket almost full of frogs so we went to go and show my father. he pushed me down this long winding staircase, i tumbled down to the lake. i had to haul buckets of water up to him. after a while of doing this his girlfriend picked me up and put me on her shoulders. she galloped (sort of a skip, we called it galloping as kids) out to the middle of a grassy field. the sky had turned to storm clouds. she put me into a big yellow bulldozer, gave me a toy truck, and told me that everything was going to be ok, she dissapeared. i sat there for a while looking at the scene and playing with the toy truck.

Jungle, Torture, Sega.

the next dream that stands out in my memory happened when i was about 11 or 12. i was hooked on this sega genesis or super nintendo (cant remember which) game called "General Chaos". it was a army game, you had 4 or 5 charicters with various army weapons and you battled an aposing army... very fun.

in my dream i was in a dense jungle, i was an escaped prisoner of war and i was being chased by charicters from the video game. i ran over hills covered with soft leaves and down into a valley... they were right behind me. one of them jumped out from a hiding place in front of me and i was caught. i was tied to a chair and the commander started punching me, i guessed they were going to torture me. i told them "you dont have to do this! this is only a dream!" they looked at me puzzled. i woke up.

Skaters, Boogey-Board, Bodygaurd? 8.10.2005

i was going into my apartmentand i noticed a group of people skateboarding in out driveway, i realized thay they were some famous skating crew. the main guy, who had a beautiful sleeve of tattoo's that extended up to his neck, told me that not only did they skate but they also made music and designed clothing. i thought this was really cool and started telling them about how they were similar to SKAM records.

i was still in the alley near my apartment but the alley was full of water with a cyclone fence at the end. i had a boogey-board and if i ran and jumped onto it just right, i could ride across the water to where the waves crashed and there a huge gust of wind would blow me off the board and send me flying into the fence. this didn't hurt and was really fun.

later i was driving in a hummer... all of the traffic lights were turning green just for me. i thought it was the best day of my life. i drove to the whitehouse where i was told that i was to be the presidents personal bodygaurd. it wasn't bush, it was somone who i had deep admiration for. i was so happy.

Gay roomates, Big vagina. 8.11.2005

i was living with a gay couple and a girl who i guess was my girlfriend. me and the girl had a cat as did the gay couple. i must have just moved into this place and one of the gay men seemed really uncomfortable around me. their cat didn't like my cat, though i didn't notice that they ever fought. the white gay man got mad at me because of my cat and wanted to kill me, his boyfriend who was black, got mad at him and banished him from the house as well as his cat. the girl and i went into our bedroom to unpack our clothes, she told me that she could spread her vagina open really wide and asked me if i wanted to see. i said ok and she took her clothes off. she started singing a song about her vagina, like a childrens song, turned around and bent over. she spread herself apart revealing a gaping, cavern-like hole. she asked if i wanted to put my hand inside her so i did. i was shocked to see that she took in my whole arm, up to the elbow... she kept singing her song. i was not turned on as she was really quite repulsive but i was also not totally disgusted.
later the black guy found his boyfriends cat back in the house and thought he would return to kill me. he eventually did show up but his boyfriend bitched him out in the kitchen and told him to never come back, he left and i felt confident that he was gone for good.

Rotten shin meats 8.12.2005

mostly blurry visions and a deep feeling of dread.

i bumped my shin on a fork-lift fork. blood and deamons came pouring out. the wound turned black and the skin peeled back revealing a large black rotting hole in my shin.

later i was in my darkroom writing my marriage vows, only i was writing them with my finger using chocolate syrup. it was hard to write clearly and homer simpson kept eating all my chocolate syrup.

Taxidermy 8.18.2005

i was at a taxidermist of some sort. i has 12 animals, all of the same type that i wanted stuffed. they were large like elk. there was some confusion between me and the taxidermist and i felt like getting the animals stuffed was somehow a vary bad idea.

Death by pea soup 8.21.2005

emily, matson and i were menbers of some army, we were wearing green uniforms and we were at a underground pub. members of another army came into the pub through a secret hallway which was part of an elaborate underground network of escape routs. i realized that this was all part of a movie and what i was seeing was the shot. i tried to analyze the shots, trying to figure out their purpose. i noticed that everyone was sitting down except for one particular soldier, then i noticed that he was in a 3-shot with emily and i. the soldiers eventually left. i had a scissors and was trimming my beard, making fun of the soldiers with emily. she asked me if i knew who that particular standing soldier was... that he had raped her. enraged, i took after them down the tunnel. i caught up to them , found him and tied him to a chair. i very carfully, so as not to clip an artery, cut open his windpipe with my scissors, and then peeled it apart with my fingers. he was crying and making gurgeling noises and his throat-hole smelled awful. i inserted a funnel into his throat and poured split-pea soup into his lungs until he drowned.

So very wrong 8.28.2005

freddy cruger was fisting the ass of this morbidly obese man. he lifted the man up into the air with his fist still in the man's ass. the fat mans body started to rapidly decay. his skin got red and blotchy and he started to melt. as his body dripped down freddy's arm it turned into thousands of bees, like a big beard of bees hanging from his arm. this was all happening on a hill in front of a beautiful sunset, next to some sort of fruit tree.

A Break From the Old; 2 Lucids in 1 Night 5.22.2008

i was at some Sprint convention (i guess i worked for Sprint) there were a bunch of people in an auditorium listening to a guy in a red shirt talk. i thought he was really boaringso i got up to leave. he saw me and got mad. he said "looks like some people are only here for the baseball game". i yelled back "some people are only here because they have to be!" everyone laughs- they didn't want to listen to him either. we all got up to leave, the red shirt man is pissed at me. we walk past the baseball stadium and go to some concert.

at this point my wife wakes me up and i try to re-rnter the dream. it is like i'm walking through thick black smoke, suddenly the smoke clears. BAM! fully lucid. i entered an undergroung building. it was lit by 1 foot square florescent light fixtures on the ceiling, there were greenish-brown tiles on the floor and concrete walls. everything was damp and the walls seemed to be swetting. i shouted "i'm lucid!!" and took off running. i shouted again and tried to spin in a circle. i felt like i was moving in waist deep water. it isdificult to run fast, i shouted "i'm lucid!" again and had a false awakening. i seem to be in a long black tube things are moving really fast. my vision dictates the direction the tube is pointing. i feel myself losing lucidity and wake up in order not to forget the dream.

same night...
i was with the charicters from "Family Guy" me and meg were outcasts from the rest of them, we bonded because of this. i took her out into this beautiful mountain landscape. i told her "watch this!" i made a swooching sound with my mouth and then projected it at my feet... me and meg took off into the air as if we were shot from a gun. we soared high up and then free falled back towards earth. right before we hit i flew us up again, past the clouds, the view was spectacular, i could see airplanes going by in the distance. we then free falled back to earth and into a lake. the lake changed us somehow, we aged rapidly and both of our lives hit the skids. i saw meg later and she had got really fat. she told me "i could take you out sometime, and pay cash too" i thought she must be a prostitute.

emily and i having a fight, i left the house to go to dennys. i sort of felt like i was dreaming. i was stopped at a stoplight at an intersection i know well. people were going around me and running the red light, but i noticed there wasn't any light. the light was out and the power lines were down. a cop pulled up and started lighting road flares off the downed power line. the cop was a 60 yearold chinese woman. i flirted with her a little, she handed me a small cabbage. i put a strip of tape on it like you would a cardboard box. my friend ryan calls, i tell him that i am going to dennys but i dont know which side of town i am on (our town has 2 dennys) at this point i become my friend jeff, i have been in a car accident. the driver side door is twisted up and jammed into the engine. i pull it out and the car starts leaking gas. the car is now a ford festiva and resting against it is a full sized, car shaped circuitboard. i call emily to tell her that i wrecked my car, she is still mad at me from the fight. i am then on a bus holding my phone. an old woman seated behind me askes what i am doing and comments "strange how none of thoes numbers have area codes" i find this somehow very eerie. i am jeff again, his parents are in a limo, his dad's a rockstar. they are arguing about wether or not to buy him a new car. his mom says "we already got him that mini-van for graduation"

Pete & Pete Misadventures 5.23.2008

this dream was like my own episode of pete and pete.

we were on the school bus ala "yellow fever". bus driver stu was trying to cheer up one of the kids. stu grabbed the kids lunch and started going through it. he found a big ziplock bag of hotsauce chips... well more like hotsauce with chips in it. he shouts as if a battle cry "I....Call.....HOTSAUCE!!!" suddenly everyone's dressed up like the planets, one kid is saturn one is mars etc... stu and the kid are having some sort of hot sauce induced battle. everyone is watching in a circle. stu has kalideoscope vision and gets hit in the gut with the bag of hot sause chips.

dead friend, not so dead? 5.26.2008
i had somehow killed my friend ryan and his spirit wanted revenge. it showed me how he died, that i had somehow caused his throat to rot away, also a baseball field was somehow involved. we went back to that baseball field, i thought "this is strange, i dont remember ryan being dead". i decided to do a nose pinch R.C. it worked! i could breathe but somehow i still dobted that i was dreaming, everything seemed so real. the concrete we were standing on began to rise up fast, it was getting pretty high and i thought "if i was dreaming i could just fly off this" i decided to try it, i grabbed ryan and lept off. i could indeed fly although not very well. i wasn't fully lucid and it seemed that i pivoted at the hip as i flew. we made it to the ground and i woke up.

LSD Girl 5.28.2008

i was at work, out by the loading dock... a girl walked up to me and asked for a ride somewhere. she was kind of plump, she had long frizzy dreadlocks that were dyed different colors, dark eye make-up and her lip pierced. i was then at my apartment and i had to empty and move about 10 full trash cans, i was the moderator of my apartment like somone would be the moderator of a message board.
the girl was now at my apartment with me and she was again asking for a ride somewhere. i decided to give her a ride. as we drove she asked me if i liked drugs and that she could hook me up, i told her that i could use some acid. she smiled and took out a bottle about twice as tall as a babyfood jar and made of glass, it was full of little metallic looking balls - like metal shot for a shotgun shell. they looked like balls of liquid oil and they shimmered. she poured about a quarter sized mound of them into the palm of my hand and they started to melt. i started to feel the effect but then realized that i needed to go to work, i tried to scrape the rest of the drug into a container and save it but by now they had all melted and it was no use, i decided to just swallow it.
it was at this point that i noticed that LSD girl (her namem i had realized) has a strange pet space rat. he was fat, lazy, also had dreadlocks, and was was dressed like George Clinton from p-funk allstars.
we decided to go visit her boyfriend who was in jail, i no longer had to go to work for some reason. he used to do a lot of acid with her and was trying to change his body's chemistry for some reason by doing acid...he was all kind of fucked up. he was gigantically fat, his body looked like a beanbag chair. he was also growing hornes from his forehead, they looked painfull - the skin around them was all red and irritated. an attendant was trying to file them down. he was trying to tell LSD girl to stop doing acid, that the change didn't work and that it would destroy her life. she wasn't listening though, she was trying to tell him that she was going to stard up-ing her dosage.

5.29.2008

bad night for dream recall, everything is blurry and faded, i dont feel like i participated in my dreams all night long.

there was something about one of my co-workers

there was one about watching my mothers dog. the dog was eating rocks off of the driveway. she wouldn't listen to me, and i was like "fine, to hell with you! go eat rocks!" when i woke up this one felt more like a memory than a dream. :bang:

Another Bad Night of Dreaming 5.30.2008

11:00 pm. i tried to WILD, made it to some very intense SP but that is all... the urge to move became crushing and all consuming after what seemed like 2 hours i caved in and moved.
no dreams.

4:30 am. i tried a WBTB WILD. i got up and drank 1/4 a can of a rockstar to keep my mind awake and sat up checking email for a while. went back to bed. entered SP, seemed to have full consiousness. wife started talking to me and pulled me out of it. :madtongue:
no dreams.

7:20 am. woke up to the alarm, hit snooze.
then started the only dream i remember:

i was at work and i was planing to marry a co-worker because she liked the same movie that i did. i was trying to convince people this was a good idea.

thats it. what a gyp.

Bob Ross, Kurt Cobain 5.31.2008

all i can remember from the first dream is that i was bob ross and i was on tv doing a painting. the trees were happy little trees and the clouds were fluffy white clouds.

in the second dream emily and i were looking to rent a house. the house we wanted was the house kurt cobain killed himself/was killed in. the landlady was courtney love, she was showing us the house along with another woman - i think it was one of fransis' nannys.
the house still had much of the furniture in it that had belonged to kurt and courtney. she showed us this bathtub which was like 2 bathtubs connected in an L shape, she told us that this is where he had killed himself. i thought "strange, i had always heard he died in the greenhouse" but i just accepted it. (i was so close to lucidity i wanted to punch myself in the morning) after this point courtney kept dissapearing in the house and re-ppearing. emily was making herself a drink- she was drinking rasberry iced tea with ketchup mixed in it.

lucid electricity 6.1.2008

i was a detective of some sort, i was with my partner and we were investigating at an old farm house. the couple who lived there were really poor, country folk, who had accidentally blew up their baby. the baby hadn't died, but had been shot off by the blast and was lost somewhere. i found a drag mark/ skid mark that had been made by the baby in the dirt... it lead to a bike jump made of dirt. i thought the baby flew off the jump and into the barn near by. as i searched the barn i suddenly became lucid. i was thrilled! i felt like it had been a long dry spell. i looked around the barn for a while, still intent on finding the missing baby... i wanted to see if it was a real baby or a baby doll. i couldnt find him and decided to go talk to his parents. i told them that it didn't matter if i found their child or not, that this was a dream. the man looked at me confused, the woman didnt believe me. i wanted to prove my point, so i grabbed their lamp and shook it hard to break the filiment in the light bulb. i then unscrewed it and held it in my hand. i told the man "if i can light this light bulb, this is a dream" i concentrated on the bulb in my hand and it lit up. it told the man "just like uncle fester" he still didn't believe me but was amazed at what i could do. i no longer cared to convince them, i left the house to find some fun.
i either woke up here or lost lucidity... i had another lucid later in the night but it was really thin like a daydream. i was really aware of my waking body. i tried to rub my hands together and spin to make it more real but that didn't work. i dont even remember what it was about but it was set in that barn from the first dream.

Expensive Shoes, Booze 6.2.2008

my wife and i were in chicago shopping with some friends of hers. we went to this trendy, up-scale shop. it was huge! like three stories tall and massive. i was getting really tired of shopping so i found a black leather couch and sat down. leslie was buying some things, the were all tattered looking, they looked hand made from various pieces of cloth with big exposed stitches (thinking back on them now they looked cool, but at the time i thought they were crap and didnt like them at all). one thing she was buying was a pair of shoes. i looked at the tag and it read 103.08. i thought "that better be the date they were made!" thinking it read 10.3.08 (shoes from the future!)
as i lounged on the sofa the owner of the store came up to me. he wanted to kick me out of the store because i was sick, the store had a policy against sick people, although i felt fine. he thought that i was laying on the couch because i was sick, i told him that i was fine, that his store was just really boring. he was not pleased with that answer, i paid for emily's things and we left.

i was then with one of the male actors from the show "friends" i believe it was ross. we were each with a girl, and each of the girls had pie all over their face - like a clown getting hit in the face with a pie. i could see the events that happened with each of us although we seperated ane each took the girl back to out houses. i had a great time with the girl i was with, we talked and laughed, i helped her get the pie off of her. nothing sexual happened... but for ross, he was trying to have something sexual happen and it backfired on him. the girl he was with was using the pie like skin care cream, it was a cream pie, she kept dipping her face into it. ross tried to get her to take a bath with him but when she got into the tub she got stuck in it somehow, and ross had to get her out by giving her an electric shock.

i was then back with emily. the $103.08 shoes she had me buy for her had turned into a $500 shot. it was really fine scotch. i was mad first that she would order such an expensive drink but then i got even more mad because she took it like a shot and didnt drink it slow... because a $500 shot is meant to be drank slow and enjoyed! she couldn't figure out why i was so mad, she asked me "if it bothers you so much why did you pay for it?"

i had a choice? i woke up.

GHOTI 8.26.2005

there was a closet in the garage of my old childhood home, it was a portal of somesort to another world. my friend from college jen wanted to go through it. she stood on the threshold but there were these strange fish, like pirahnas, floating in the doorway. they started to bite her and as they did they enpregnated her by biting a hole in her skin and spitting a baby fish into her body.
she seemed ok for a couple of days but then she started acting strange, her mood would randomly change and she seemed posessed. the fish inside her were controlling her somehow.
they grew bigger and bigger and soon you could see them, golf ball sized, swimming through her veins under her skin. finally the fish came together inside her stomach and formed one big fish that swam up her throaght, and with a choking, vomiting sound, came out jen's mouth.
i felt that these fish needed to be stopped and i needed to get through the portal. i tried to run past them but the fish stopped me. they bit and impregnated me. i was really freaked out, i didnt want fish inside of me. jen told me that its not so bad, that she loved her new baby... the fish was somehow controlling her mind. i could feel that i was losing control over my own mind and i could see the fish swimming up and down my veins.
with a razor blade i slit my wrists and squeezed the fish out of my arm. everytime i thought i thought i got all of them, i'd see another lump in my vein. i was getting weak from loss of blood and it was getting really hard to get the fish out of me.

Deaf Baby, Dots 8.31.2005

i was in this guys apartment, he was showing me his newborn son. i told him that i thought the baby might be deaf. to test this theory we took turns shouting directly into the childs ears. the baby didnt seem to notice and we concluded that he was indeed deaf.

i was then in this field of sorts. the ground was white and felt like thick plexi-glass. it stretched over hills and down valleys for as far as i could see. the white gorund was covered with 1 inch round black dots. everywhere. i thought the dots were playing tricks on my eyes, they seemed to be moving and changing color. i realized that they really were moving. they were disorienting and soon i felt like i lost my equilibreum. i was dizzy and didn't know if i was standing up or laying flat. the dots swirled and moved, turned red and green shades of pink and purple. i thought that they enjoyed tormenting me.

Dreaming about Dreaming 6.4.2008

i was dreaming that i was asleep and dreaming, in my dream i was frustrated because i wanted to have a LD and none were happening. in my dreams dream i was dreaming of machinery and industrial landscapes.

this was a very vivid dream (with the help of some B12) but after i awoke i was too lazy to get up and write it down, now it is mostly a blur.

Another Bad Night of Draming 6.5.2008

i dont know what is wrong with my dream recall as of late, i need to get off my lazy ass do some more meditating again, i chalk this up to stress and too much on my mind. anyway heres what i remember from last night.

i was with a guy and his girlfriend, we were in a room where the walls and ceiling was covered with these spikey things. as i looked closer at them we were no longer surrounded by them, they were on a strip of plastic which i was holding in my hand. they were black-heads on a nutrigena strip, they were from the nose of the girlfriend. there were three of them and they were as big around as pencils.