Dream Records

This is my dream journal or record. Here is where I will keep all my bits and pieces of dream recollections throughout time. I'll try to keep it updated.

Nightmares:

Almost Easter

Another restless night. I finally fell asleep and was attacked by what felt like a vampire or a demon. The same one that's been attacking me sporadically every other night or so. I thought that I had realized that it was merely a product of my mind.I even went as far as to believe in was due to my muscle condition that was causing the nerve pain. It was very distinct; there was scratching, sucking, and a feeling all too personal to me. The very alien surrealness of it makes me feel like this might be something paranormal or otherworldly, something maybe a negative cord attached to me or I picked up some vibes from somewhere. I know it can't be too alien to me. I know it must be something that feeds on negativity. The strange thing though is that there hasn't been anything negative that happened before the nightmare. It seems to act of its own will, and attacks especially when I am feeling good.This gets creepy though, I began getting preyed on. It had claws that were digging into my skin. It began biting my ankle and so I prayed the "Our Father" (I'm going to have to find a stronger prayer) it either got angry, got busted, or the praying just aroused its evil humor because it began digging itself into me while at the same time scratching my ankle.I believe this creature thing, this monster of negativity only can feed on negativity but also it is weakened by the holy spirit. It has shown to be only strengthened if I obey it and let it keep weakening and preying on me. It is a particularly malicious experience, it feels very real when it happens and always leaves me drained. It's like being randomly attacked out of the blue, or possessed suddenly. When I scream at it to stop or just scream stop it actually intensifies. Do people commonly beg with their selves to stop attacking their selves? It just doesn't seem likely that its ALL in my head. Maybe a part of it is. I'm going to keep a record on here of every nightmare I have of this creature.Maybe I will be able analyze them then. Although after the nightmares I feel so drained I usually don't record them. There was just one more thing, after the nightmare I had this image of this girl. A pale face with dark red hair. She looked familiar, the same girl whose picture had appeared on my desktop folder where I had stored the pictures of my "haunted cross" this old pewter cross that I got from an old garage store. But I may be reading into things. The images did appear or seem to, I had no idea how they had gotten on the computer and it was right after I stored the pictures I had taken of this led cross. it was a young girl I had never seen before. I erased them immediately because I was freaked out that they had just appeared and I had never taken them.

March 25th 2008 6:20 I had a “nightmare” in which I heard someone come in downstairs. Suddenly I was prepared to wake but something froze me with terror. I couldn’t move no matter how hard I willfully tried to move myself to wake. Then the “thing” attacked me or hovered over me, pinching and prodding. But it was less strong it seemed. I was stronger this time because I fought it. At first I thought to myself, “This is strange because when I visualize, it doesn’t seem as real.” This seemed like I was literally attacking it and it was working. I also said some prayers which helped incredibly. It helped more so this time than usual. This time I think I said the Our Father louder and also said some other prayers. The moon is still looming overhead in the sky brightly and may have contributed to my power or helped. I was tempted after I woke up to take a picture of myself like was suggested but It was 1:00 when I woke up. One thing to note is that I was sleeping with my onyx goddess pentacle necklace on. I should try to describe the dream more in most details. The most important parts are that I fought it and was able to hold it off until I escaped into a sort of disassociation and ran from it. What I did that worked amazingly was something that was a little different. I called the four quarters or spirits of the east. I first had to face east for some reason it wouldn’t work unless I started at east. I began clockwise with the east spreading air…which would be a good dream exercise…I spread air from the east then I went to the west and sprinkled water, then the north I pictured a line going north infinitely and spread earth or dirt, then I went to the south and lit a flame. Then I focused on swirling clockwise, but when I swirled counter-clockwise the thing powered up. So the only way I could destroy it or hurt it was to use magic in a good way. I had to go clockwise and face the east. (But, for some reason I was told in this dream or that impression was made that I had used magic through Wicca to unleash this demon but I think I’ll take that with a grain of sand.) After I had banished it through clockwise mediation and using the elements to call upon the spirits to assist me, I was still being chased because I couldn’t continue doing the magic forever. I needed something else. I had imagined my hands being swords and I cut it with my hands, fiercely slicing and swinging at it and it did work. I think I may have yelled Arianrhod and the LBRP. I remember calling and praying to the Archangels, I believe this time I called to Raphael and he assisted me much better than Gabriel who I had thought was my guardian angel. I am beginning to think Raphael might be. It’s strange that I did sort of have an interest in magic. But I didn’t really have a choice, this negative entity is forcing me to learn magic and I need to do this in such a way that is positive. I need to do this in a way that makes sense and regard this thing as nothing more than a lower negative entity with no other skill than for teaching me to defend myself.Overall this was much better because I was able to stall this nightmarish force.



Favorite Dreams:

It starts off I am in a spaceship and I'm receiving instructions on how to run the controls by an older man. He's kind of like a tour guide giving instructions to a bunch of newcomers on the spaceship. He's giving a speech to all of the "tourists" of the ship. I'm supposed to read the instructions but I decide to put that off and explore the spaceship even though I was given some assignment...after I promise to read I put them aside.

Up ahead is a giant glass window where we can view where the spaceship is going. I am astounded at the magnificent view that the window gives. I walk up to the glass and I'm closer than anyone,
suddenly a beautiful giant blue whale bumps into the glass, the tour guide comments "Oh that's just
some occasional debris we get now and then" the whale is beautiful, and is swimming through space.
When no one is looking I decide to head off through one of the doors and explore.

I go down a never ending hallway, which at one point I see my family but they're in line for a movie,
even though there is nobody else in line and they're not actually...going anywhere. I try to tell my
father this, that there is no line- but he is convinced that he has to wait in line.

I continue through this strange hallway which is sort of inter dimensional until I come to the library. I
enter into what is the most beautiful library I have ever seen, with white floors and white walls and
white marble everywhere. There are millions and millions of books, but I am caught off guard again
when I see what is a beautiful marble mantelpiece. I walk towards the mantelpiece, Suddenly a
beautiful fairy appears with curly brown hair and a dress- all I remember is she was so
beautiful and made a twinkling noise.

Suddenly her bare feet are enmeshed in leaves, and a sort of wreath of roots and leaves forms directly
in front of her. She tells me to look, and I look into the wreath and can see in it. Then she directs me
to "Jump!"
Meaning jump into this wreath where there is a hole- like a porthole. I look in and then I jump into it-

I am in for three seconds, which seem to be for a millennium, as you go through time slows. I am falling
down through- kind of like Alice's rabbit hole, I see these giant rocks and formations and I guess like
those ancient ruins, these rocks are floating in a heavenly space, there is grass and moss and
different planes of grass. It's bright I first land on a floating island, all around is sort of a grey starry
mist, but as I pass through- it is as if a glimpse is more than ten minutes...there are whales floating
around everywhere, beautiful large whales and floating stones... I stay here for awhile and then I jump
off and continue through the hole until I land face down in a pyramid.


Here I am a slave, I have to move these certain rocks around and a woman is the queen, a cruel evil
woman who has a whip and a gun.
There are certain levels in the inside of this pyramid. On the top are two chairs- for the queen and king,
then it slopes downward to where the common people go and then there is a sort of cliff, where you
cant see the slaves working on the bottom level. We're all in a line and we're working on these
ropes...or something. The queen, rarely goes down the steps to where the slaves are. My friends who
are next to me decide to escape, they pull a stone out of the cliff and find a passageway into another
place where they go in all first before me. I try to follow but my hips get stuck. They escape..

Then the queen comes down. She sees that I haven't been working constantly and comes towards me
with her gun and whip in hand. I close my eyes and tuck my knees to my chest while she circles around
me knowing that at any moment she might shoot me- she taunts me and makes fun of this moment.
Then suddenly I jump up and grab the gun. I run to the right where there is a gaurd and I shoot him in
the arm. then I continue running. I continue along the hall and yet again I see my father- but just my
father- I tell him that he has to run because there's someone after me. I want his protection but he
demands that he is in line and has to wait- this is in a sort of grey carpeted realm and he is standing in
front of a door to a kind of black void.

So I ignore him . I continue running and can hear the queen behind me, she is close and I see a door
and I pray to myself that it is the library. I run to the door and open and then I slam it before the
queen catches up. Yet I know she could come in soon, so I have to hurry, I discard everything and
search and search until I find that magical fireplace mantle where I know she appeared. I pray and
pray, APPEAR APPEAR! then instead of the fairy- the magic porthole appears. I jump in quickly and find
myself BACK in the spaceship. There i am holding the instructions. I think to myself that I could live
here but the only place I'll ever be happy is my home. ....I keep thinking about home and then the hole
appears I jump into it and I wake up with a start in my bed. I get up and go to the bathroom and look
in the mirror, for a few moments I dont remember anything= and then it hits me- I remember the
whole dream.


Tsunami, Disasters, Discovery - Apr 10, 2008

I have been having these funny dreams recently. Here are the most recent ones.

Last night I dreamt that I was in someone's house who lived on the beach. Suddenly there was on the news that a giant tsunami was coming. We all struggled to get shelter, but there was nothing we could do. As they climbed higher up I just sat with my knees to my chest waiting for the tsunami to strike. It struck and then everything was sort of chaos, I don't remember much from there or whether or not I survived.

The next one was crazy and strange. I was talking to an older female and we were having some existential conversation about opening other realms, I think? And anyways, suddenly the tree next to us opened up and there was a staircase in it. We walked inside and the inside was covered in ice. We grabbed icicles for some reason, and then we headed up a spiral staircase. Then we ended up in this beautiful room all in ice- like a those ice castles...like all made of ice.
Like we were in a cave maybe?

There was a little pad on the floor facing a window with a mirror to see out the window. There were books on shelves about medicine, and soon I realized after awhile that it was a retreat that a man had built for himself, and this was someone I know In real life. The cold might symbolize the interior of him, a solitary person who liked to read. Very lonely. And the outward appearance would be like a tree- maybe healthy or grown up?

This older female was a lot similar to the one in the other dream.


Later we decided to explore more of the tree. We soon discovered after leaving that there was another spiral staircase. I have a lot of dreams with staircases and climbing endlessly. So I climbed first and climbed quickly up the stairs and she followed.

We ended up on a platform, the top of the tree maybe. And there was a room. Anyways, several ghosts came out and started saying we did not belong here and that we had to leave, that we had violated their sacred space. They were the ghosts of a family.

It was a wild dream, I have been having some other strange ones.

I had one that I was getting a lesson from Alister Crowley. He pulled out a hologram computer that was powered by magick? It was very weird, I was in this giant hotel...it's like.

I have dreams that I am in a house and in the house I go to other rooms and each room has a seperate dream.

Or I am in a city and each city has a different street where a dream takes place and I am always traveling from one to another. I feel I somehow create my own realms when I sleep. Like there must be a whole lot going on in my brain that I do not realize. If only somehow I could tap into that imagination, maybe use it to write a book like I've been planning on doing.






Most Recent:
In my most recent dream it was very interesting: I was in a large underwater cave- like Hades. There was a woman archetype as a ruler over the underworld. We- the children, were developing our telekinetic abilities by moving balls in the air during the day and at night we rested while darkness surrounded us..I had finally mastered the ability to levitate the balls when I begun being sabotaged by her out of her jealousy, or fear that I would teach the other children my trick. I was under a tomb of many Gods and Goddesses who were somewhat carved with their faces into the stone of the underworld. At night, the queen sent a demon to attack me and so I ran from her into another tomb area where a body was encased in glass- of a prince. I found his sword which was covered in black velvet with my black feather connected to it and perhaps ruby jewel or jewel of some-sort on the case. I unsheathed the sword instantly although thinking it may provoke the demon. Suddenly the Female Queen appeared alongside a dragon. I fought with the dragon then got to her quickly- and this is the first time, but I actually stabbed the evil woman in the chest or heart. When she died I then fought the dragon and it quickly died out and turned to a golden light and a cross was within the light..then it fluttered away. That was the end. </TD></TR>

Sat. May 23 2009 The first Dream:

I am in my room, then I wake up from a dream. Everything is normal like any normal morning. But I know something is different when I go to turn on the lightswitch. There are lights on, but the lights I try to turn on don't turn on. Everything is where it is supposed to be in our house, the light switches, the couches. My brother, Josh, wakes up and comes downstairs. I just keep thinking how strange this is.

So I tell Josh, and he's like "What are you talking about?" He tries to turn on the lightswitch, and to his astonishment it doesn't turn on. He tries another I think, and it doesn't. So I tell him that it's proof. He says "Ok. Now you're freaking me out" and acts a lot like his sixteen year old self. And I tell him to remember this dream. But I am so happy that I want to hang on to the dream for as long as I can.

I notice how vivid and bright everything is, the sky especially. I hang onto the images that are presented in the house, including talking to my brother. Then my dad comes home. He says that there's something wrong with the plumbing. I was almost sure he was going to say there was a power outage to try and explain it away, but he didn't. Then he said that our relatives were coming today.

So it was pretty exciting, here I was in a version of reality it felt like. Everything was in the right place...I am having trouble remembering all of it. But I was focusing really hard to keep myself IN the dream. Meaning that I sort of zeroed in on the surroundings and my the people. It felt so real though. And yet, I was almost completely aware that it was a dream. Then the relatives came over. I forget who, I think it was my grandparents. It all happened here, in the livingroom.

So I start talking to dad, we have a deep conversation. I don't know if I said this to him, or I was hearing my thoughts but I was saying, "It's almost as if you don't want me to know. Could it be that you are mere projections of my own mind? Or is it more than that?" And then he looked a little strange, slightly evil. It was weird.

The second dream:

It was really long but somehow I was with a school and escaped. I ran away. It was like the school and everyone else in the town where I was tried to convince me it was real and not a dream. Then a heard a police truck and hid. I spent the night at someone's house in a spare bedroom. Then a girl came in and found me, and I told her not to tell anyone because I couldn't be found out.

Then I saw my dad, and was sure it was him. He was in a really old fashioned truck, it was black and I knew it looked unlike his usual car. It was also in mint condition. I ran there and mom was in there too. So I climbed in the back of the truck but I couldn't fit through the window. He said I could just ride in the back of the truck. So I described to them through the window what was going on, that we were in some parallel place. I convinced him to realize that although he didn't know it, in many years he would be the same person living almost the same life in a different time/ future.

Then we went home and then things gradually drifted apart into confusion. I kept going back and forth from previous parts of that dream. The school, the escape. Then the last part was weird and didn't make any sense. I think it was two boys. One was my brother. They had come back and to tell me that it was true. Then all the sudden my dad put them into a white box, like a time machine. And sealed the entrances, but they decayed in the box...

That part was really weird and creepy. But leading up to the time I got to the car with my dad, the sequence was pretty normal though I think I went through different changes of ideas about the story. First I was alone, then I was with a dwarf running away. It wasn't as lucid as the other one.

Ascension
October 1, 2009

It starts out on a deck overlooking the stars. The man who has haunted me is there, and he calls himself Ajay. He tries to make love to me, but then wrestles me to the ground and pins me. I push him away and step over him as I run down and outside. Then I begin to rise up high above the houses. I rise up to the top of the earth and into space.

I'm in a subway car. The subway screeches to a halt. I'm with people and we're underground a building. I make it to the absolute bottom. Then I rise through an elevator to the top. The man who attacked me pretends to be my friend. He smiles and says that I'm his slave.

I'm in a spaceship with horrible people doing horrible things to me. I keep coming back to a 'game' where I'm a baby being fed bad food and sung awful lullabies. I write a letter to the heavens, and tell them what I know of this. That I don't understand why I am being put through the game and what I truly want.

Now I'm with two people, a man and a woman. It is Ajay, the man who thinks I'm his slave. The man tells me something and the woman is suspending herself. Ajay thinks he is a God.

I'm in a space station type place. There's a sick boy with me. I've been given pills in the shape of the solar system. A nurse comes into my bedroom and I feel upset at her. A girl is sitting in my bed and she is talking about the aliens. I tell her they are real, it's just a matter of perspective. I see a triangle spaceship and think about another dream about the triangle spaceship, desert, and mars. Then I rise again.

I'm on this huge spaceship and we're looking out into space. I am with the sick boy, a Chinese man, and an American scientist. The Chinese man throws open the spaceship door. We all hold onto the sides, 'what are you doing?' the American man asks. He says 'I'm liberating them'. We decide to let go and are sucked into the stars then spit out on the other side. But it's not what the sick boy thought it would be. He reminds me of someone. Then I'm hovering above a spaceship that's on a planet. The ship is attacking the planet, I can hear it making firing noises and rock music. Then I wake up.

Most Recent dream I had, was last night. It starts out I am in a merge between a university, apartments, and a "dreamworld". I am trying to remember, but what stands out most is that I end up making a friend, and then we become good friends. I am happy to have found a friend like him, then he takes me to his home- which is in the future, I believe. He has two girls and a wife. I'm sitting on the couch, looking straight at him and he vanishes. Suddenly the entire house is empty, I look everywhere for him. So finally I see him, out of the window...at the university...and I run to follow him. I grab his hand and tell him that I just time-traveled, and that you'll be surprised when you meet your future self.

The other one, I'm with my cousin and brother and we are exploring a store until it becomes dark. I try to get into the car, and the car door is open but they don't notice and drive away without me. I become frantic, thinking it's real and that I've really been left without a way back home. I also realize I left my cellphone at home. So I talk to some people, when their shop is closing and I use their phone to call them. they act surprised, and completely deny the possibility that I was not noticed.

Then I'm in my house, and two gothly dressed people come to my house with a ton of packages, they are kind of mean I guess. I laugh as in to laugh with them, and they just look at me. It was strange, because they were dream characters but so well developed and anti-me. Then I start talking about something, that they dont understand because it makes no sense. And the man says, no i dont understand what you just said. Once again denying the possibility that it makes no sense because it is a dream.

These dreams have odd parallels to life, and the meaning behind it. What if life were a dream, and each dream a new life created if only we could see them? If only we denied the possibility that they were fiction.