Selections from my surreal subsconscious

I figured I'd post selected entries from my DJ here. There are many typos and such since I use Yeah Write to keep a DJ and I type them out first thing when I get up.

I must warn you, none of these make any sense at all.

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04/08/07:
Had several dreams, many of which I forgot. One, I saw the president resigning on TV and I thought “this has gotta be a dram” so i did a reality check and it worked, but for some odd reason, I doubted it and kept ttrying to make sure it worked, so I got nowhere. Another, we were in a cafeteria and i was paying for my chips and the guy told me I borrowed $500 from him for pictures, but I wouldn’t pay him back because I forgot I borrowed it and couldn’t recall the fact I borrowed it. Also, it was half a school day in the middle of vacation. Another, I was on the internet looking at pictures of exit doors and another I was at a museum and someone I was with put a tiny chunk of metal into a “duplicator” on display, and the entire thing blew up.
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04/12/07:
a lot of kids start bothering me on the pretense that it is a “austin powers movie” or someting. first, that german woman from the movie driving a jeep tries to ram [a friend] into the wall at best buys and I get him out of the way, then take him into the store and offfering him anything he wants for 5 bucks (he buys two cans of dog food). while i try to save him, my foot gets rammed into the wall, but I can still walk later. they then lead us up into the attic, where there is some kind of racetrack that we have to climb over using something on the other side that I knock over. after I knock it over, [someone from school] gets mad at me but I tell him i’ll go down and get a ladder or something. they then pull the XM unit that was up there, run off with it, and shut off the power leading me and a few other friends to navigate ourselves through a dark and long attic. When the power shuts off, there is a chandelier in the corner that looks like the small one near the enterance of my grandma’s house and the light on it fades. underneath this was the xm unit they stole. The attic has some light coming in from the windows. After we make it out, I’m talking with my mom while she listens to a country song on the microwave in the kitchen (the display even contains RDS data) and I turn on the kitchen radio, which is connected to the XM unit they left on in the dark attic. It plays (I think) Fight for your Right by the beastie boys. My mom says we’ll have to go back up and shut it off sometime. Then, i shut the kitchen radio back off. After that, the kitchen TV suddenly displays an alert...The alert is that a bunch of people are running around robbing peopole and hurting people because of this “austin powers movie”. My mom didn’t believe me when I told her about all of this, but after seeing this alert on the TV, she did. They were showing video of robberies and everything local-news style. On the TV, it looked like they had a camera pointing at another TV at the cable station and that TV was broadcasting everything.
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04/17/07:
[an old teacher] from my old school she was siting two desks in front of me at high school and she’s yelling at me about being late or something.

Another, soebody moved in down the street, their house had a tan appearance, tan shingles, tanned windows, and they had a lot of videogame development tools. They even had something called a "psp intro" or smoething which was a psp that plyed only the intros of sega genesis games. Part of my dream I was “borrowing” some piece of equipment that looked like the one piece of my old desk with drawers with something on them. I remember walking out of his house with it while he was in the other room during the night.
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04/19/07:
nap dream:

at the beach, there was some sort of escalator that kept going up but it was like a spiral staircase. It was like 60 steps. I think jerry and george from seinfeld were walking up it while I watched from a third person, unaware of myself.

in real life, seinfeld was on the TV.
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04/20/07:
something about me running around in circles and mr. burns from the simpsons....i was dreaming i was lucid dreaming...weird. Not really an LD, though.

also, i was playing some sort of sims 1 game where the people could be seen walking at the main screen and you could hover over them and view info about them. The info was in the upper left corner and there was a yellow halo around them when you hovered over them. I went to click on something called “the mega mansion” and I went to this sims house that didn’t look all that much like a mega mansion. a boy and his sister were playing dice in a small room with a chair, table, and maybe a bed. The floor was spotted black on white, real small spots, like dots. The boy loses after the dice is rolled 3-3. He complains that his room is too small for being in a mega mansion.
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04/22/07:
TWO lucid dreams, one way better than the other

One, our house wsa haunted by some kind of tickle-meelmo counterfeit. I remember we had to crawl away into some space to get to something, but I forget what it was. Anyway, we went to some kind of catholic center and they told us we weren’t reading the bible enough and gave us a bible to read. I got lucid somewhere in the crawl-away corridor, but had no control.
Nose RC got me lucid.

The next dream I had, I was trying to cut school because I forgot to write a paper on thomas edison [but for some odd reason the biology teacher assigned it], but then regretted it. I remember running to the [neighbor's], asking [the neighbor] to get me a wagon so I can shortcut through a secret tunnel back to school without anyone knowing, but he showed me some kind of wagon pulled by RC cars (small RC cars), so I turned him down, telling him I was 280 pounds [i'm not IRL]. Then, I go up the street after walking out the house, and then realize that the school is WAY farther than it is and i’ll never make it. So then, I somehow warp to [my aunt and uncle's] and they offer to drive me back to school, where then I can sneak in. But then I realize that I forgot to write my paper, so I ask if i can do that on one of their eight computers stanging near the kitchen. I try to do so, but I cannot remember the password to log on. They were windows 2000 terminals like the ones at school. Then, I get a book, and I remeber to get lucid! With control! I then shout “More control!!” and I get some. I then try to fly out the window to somewhere else, but as I hover, the dream fades and I wake up. [my aunt and uncle's] house sort of resembeled grandma’s.
Just remembering got me lucid.

Also, a non-lucid, we were planning to go on vacation, but my dad kept screwing it up and we had to come back home (back and forth from Myrtle Beach every day), we only got one full vacation out of ten days and my dad made an excuse for it but I forgot what he said.
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04/26/07:
i rmember having two warts on my arm.also something about rugrats.

also, i was watching tv and a comedian was on with two others, except one of them was animated and had a green snake. he was saying something like “dermatologists can’t crack jokes” or something else stupid. there was also some head on a walker, but you can clearly see some guy behind the curtain standing up with just his head shown. Then, they brought out a table with wheels draped in green, I assumed it was a performance from the guy with his head on the walker.

also, i was given some sort of business to take care of or something. It had glass over concrete boxes which lay outside, and in the boxes were doors leading inside. I also remember being inside. It was a long hallway.
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04/28/07:
1am:
toward the end, i’m riding in the car on the way home and when a song comes on the radio, it looked like something like a BIOS boot screen and it said ==WANTED== on the top of the car radio display. On the XM display however, it said the artist was someone called “Lisa Birmingham” and the song was called “Townie”, to the best of my knowledge. However, the song playing on the radio was actually Aqua’s Barbie Girl.

another one was a lucid, sort of. I was in a dream, where I sort of become aware i’m dreaming but i’m too afraid of doing anything. eventually, I just say screw it and I go and try to punch the glass out of the door. I keep willing myself to do it and I even shout out “MORE CONTROL!!” but it doesn’t work. The glass stays together. Then, I go outside and I forget what I was trying to do but I try to enhance my senses by focusing on my environment. Now, i’m standing by the mailbox. Then, I wake up.

Earlier in this dream, my old computer was able to become a laptop, but I didn’t know that. It was sort of bulky though and two big plastic legs kept getting in the way. We plugged it in as a laptop and when it came on the screen asked us if we were setting it up as a laptop or if we wanted to sound off a three or four alarm noise. We select the set-up and t takes some time to set up as a laptop, then it boots up as media center and plays a startup noise i can best describe as a cross between windows xp’s and some sort of OS I can’t remember off the top of my head.

Even earlier (or later, or the same time period), we met this very nice farmer, so me and someone else went over to his farm to help him after something i can’t remember. He had this cane made of purple wrapped wool (like my dog’s booda tug toy) and there was a spike sticking out the bottom. He told us to beat the dust out of it. We didn’t want to do all this work, so we decided to run off but for some reason, we had to steal the cane. it was tied around a rope sticking out of a window, and i had a bit of trouble getting it out, but I did and we ran back to [my grandmother's]. we were in [my grandmother's] TV room and all of a sudden, he came bursting through the door mad as hell! He was saying soething like “Nobody steals from me!!”. Somebody hits him with something over the head and he either passed out or died. Then, I see something like a comic book panel with him falling and saying something which could have been his last words.
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04/30/07:
I was in an elevator in a building inhabited by aliens, and one part i remember is that we were in an elevator, it skipped right by the 7th floor and we heard in the elevator an alien saying we’re going to be shot out of the top of the elevator shaft. I pressed stop and we got out and started hitting random people over the head with folding chairs, because we knew they were bad.

earlier, there was something about an assistant helping us and [my old school's] cafeteria.
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05/01/07:
all i rmembember aare a few things. One, being in some kind of department store, walking down one isle, and seeing some coke bottles, some filled with coke and others filled with water. I also remember playing sims 2 and my house in the computer game got very infested with roaches. Also, something about a scheduling system that usd some weird kind of punch card.

I also remember my mom buying something and I told her “That’s about as effective as Head On” and I may have mimicked the commercial.
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05/02/07:
I don’t rewmember very much, other than being in a mini-mart with jimmy from "yes, dear" buying this HUGE white chocoolate butterfinger, going $0.25 over the budget that somebody waiting in the car set before. He raise some fuss about going over the budget. Then, we angrily leave, but we may be angry at the storeowner for some reason. As we’re leaving, he’s doing some really stupid things with his computer speakers, including cutting stuff off and it blows loud noises.
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05/12/07:
we rented this trailer of some sorts and went on a trip. It even drove itself for a bit, but then it went the wrong way and we got lost, after I tried to steer it the right way, so we pulled into a diner. We were trying to figure out what to do and then one of the teachers from school was there and he said he’d drive us home. Then, my parents came and I went home with my parents instead.

also earlier, i was learning how to drive with some sort of weird car that had a steering wheel on the passenger side. The gas pedal fell off or something and some doofus was in the backseat holding it. without the gas pedal, we couldn’t have done anything.
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05/18/07:
I remember 1/2 of something, using proprtions to solve some sort of math problem, and a fiasco about two girls being pregnant. we also stayed at a hotel. Also, I was in some sort of school and i was being chased by that old creepy guy from the tv show family guy.

...

Before, at my grandmother's somebody (or maybe just me) pointed out to me that a key my grandmother left under the decorative cloth on the bureau in my grandfather's room opened up many places I wasn’t supposed to go to or see in her house, like secret rooms and passages i didn't know about, but I was only able to open a drawer in my grandfather's room’s bureau. I did try opening a door, but the skeleton key didn’t fit because it was all odd-sized between it and the door’s lock.