9-11-08 - First Lucid
10:00 PM - Hot Dog, Chips, Ice Cream, 200mg B6, 5mg Melatonin, both induction Mp3's
Didn't really expect to get any sleep tonight at all, let alone get a lucid, music from down the hall, which I tried to ignore or drown out, but that didn't really do the job. I eventually got it knocked off, but there were still lights on for a while. I pretty much resigned myself to losing tonight, got online, looked at Ninja's journal for about 4 pages, then went to sleep at around 1.
2:00 AM
I vaguely remember jumping really high in my neighboorhood, with a lot of dogs on leashes, and it seemed like everywhere I'd land, there'd be a long within leash range running towards me. I bounced away from that, and next thing I know, I'm imagining myself bouncing around my house, off the walls the cilings, stuff like that. I go outside and the thought hits me that hey, I don't normally do this in everyday life - OHSHI. I can't expect the DS to be that obvious all the time, of course - subconscious pretty much screaming at me there.
This is sort've a bad draw though -it's sorta fuzzy/muddy. The first thing I think of is flying, becuase I've done it before, so I should know that I can do it. But when I did it before as a kid, I kinda hop/floated, hop/floated, and then took off very slowly. A straight liftoff might have been too much for me. I got a foot off the ground and hung there for a moment before coming back down. My second idea was to summon "S", a DC from back in the day who taught me a lot of stuff. I figured that if I could do the summon, I could ask her to fly, and I could grab her hand - that might be easier for me to disgest. Sneaky. I saw a very dim whirlwind in front of me, but Sdoesn't jump out of it or anything. The thought hits me that I'm still being way too ambitious for my first LD in maybe 8-9 years. I look away, try to see if I can conjure without looking directly at anything, but that doesn't work either, and I can feel myself starting to fade.
No no no not yet!
I remember a DV post about "spinning", so I spin clockwise and redraw the scene. I get a beach at sunset -things are more solid now, but it looks cartoony, like A Scanner Darkly or Waking Life, except with duller colorsI think of clearing my mind, taking a deep breath and enjoying it(because I expected this to take a couple months, not the third try). Then I hear a very friendly kinda tune, like something from a kids TV show, but it has the air of the the Final Jeopardy song, and it leaves no doubt in my mind that once it's over, it's over, know what I mean?I just decide to embrace that I'm not "ready" for anything deeper yet and don't get greedy. I sit down, take a deep breath and relax.
I did good.
|
|
Bookmarks