Thread: deciphering zeneyes

26 Oct, 2008
1200 hrs

It’s now 1800 hrs. I woke up at approximately 1200 hrs today after a heavy night of partying at a wedding. I’ve been wondering about the effect alcohol has on dreams if any. I drink too much…I know it must at least hinder dream recall. At any rate, these were mainly fragments that I was able to pull out of my head upon waking. It’s strange how simply recalling the details of what you can remember will dislodge other dreams you had throughout the night. I don’t know if I am recording these dreams chronologically or not, but I am writing them down in the order they were remembered. Maybe there is significance to this.


I’m standing on sand at a beach, and I notice that there is trash buried in the sand. There are trash bags full of trash buried in this sand, and they are not buried very well. I think maybe they were but they have since been uncovered with the passage of time. There is also old food amongst the trash in the sand. I wonder where I’m at, what kind of place allows trash to be buried on the beach…I think maybe I’m in New Jersey and I laugh to myself. I continue searching in the sand to see what else is buried and I run into a bunch of cardboard boxes that have been folded up along the creases. There are lots of boxes, much more so than the trash, and now I’m not on a beach but I’m in what appears to be a hug trash bin with nothing but cardboard boxes, but it’s still the same place. I rummaging around wondering what all this trash is for and I hear a male voice, and it’s a dieing voice, these are the last words of who is speaking. I can’t remember what he was saying, but I know it was very heavy, and it had something to do with space travel. The voice was concerned with who I was, and was wanting me to promise that I would continue on with the legacy that he was explaining to me. I don’t visually see him, but in my minds eye, in the dream, I see an old man with a short beard who is laying right lateral barely able to get these words out to me. When I wake from this dream I think of my wife’s father. He blew his brains out with a 30 aught 6 about six months before I met her. I have the feeling that this is who was talking to me.


I’m at work with my partner David, and we get dispatched to a MVA (motor vehicle collision). Nothing new, just another wreck I think to myself. We get onscene and the fire department is not dispatched for some reason which is not normal in real life. It’s just David and I. There is a pick up truck on it’s side on the side of the road and it’s mangled all to hell as vehicles tend to be after bad wrecks. There are a few bystanders staring in horror and the kids mother is standing beside him crying…not knowing how to process this information. I walk up to the kid who is about 10 years old, and he is laying in the middle of the road with a baseball hat on…just a normal boy with his life ahead of him. His thorax is opened up, the skin was torn from left to right and his lungs were exposed but there isn’t a lot of blood. The kid seems pretty stoic about this but it’s because he is in shock. This is the strangest part of the dream for me. When I first saw the kid I almost started to cry. I was overcome with emotion for this kid, but it was fleeting. I lean down behind the kids head, and I’m laying on the road behind him now. My head is on the ground where his is at, and I’m whispering in his right ear that it’s going to be okay, we are going to take care of him. He doesn’t say anything, just sort of feels his opened chest cavity and sees the blood.


My partner looked at me and told me that the kid needed to be intubated and to get the I.V. kit. This was also unusual because we always have our bag with us that has all of the stuff we need to fix unfortunate shit such as this. I say to David, “we can’t intubate him, he is conscious, are you going to RSI?“ (Rapid sequence intubation…a skill we use to intubate patients who are losing control of their airway. It’s the same combination of drugs used for lethal injection minus the potassium). David says “don’t worry about it, go get the I.V. kit and start a line on him.“ I go to the truck and the I.V. kit is laying on the squad bench opened up already. I don’t see the blue bag, or the intubation kit. All of the is unusual, and I’m beginning to think that this is a dream sign for me, unusualness at work. I go back to the kid with the red I.V. bag and my partner has already intubated. This kid is still conscious and the endotracheal tube he used was too small for him. He is looking at me sort of gurgling. David would never operate like this in real life…lucidity here I come, I hope.



I’m in a parking lot trying to get in my car and leave. There are three homeless people in my car already, and I’m extremely annoyed, how did they get in my car, it was locked, and what do they want. As I’m standing there trying to figure this out another transient walks up and attempts to get in my car as well. She is fat, nasty, and smells bad, and I don’t want her in my car. I don’t even want the other three there. She is trying to back her fat ass into the driver side rear passenger seat, and I loose it and grab her by the gelatinous arm and yank her out of the car. I’m pissed off, and I drive off leaving her standing there. I think these people want me to take them to the hospital. I drive quickly to the hospital. One of the passengers cut somebody up real badly with a knife before I got to my car. I took his knife from him, but I can’t remember actually doing this. While I’m at the hospital he is asking for his knife back and I explain to him that he can’t have it right now because he might cut somebody again and the hospital can’t trust him. I tell him that he might get it back after the hospital examines him. I leave him and while I leave I walk by another room, and there is a doctor examining an attractive female that I know. He is trying to diagnose her with Parkinsons, but she doesn’t have Parkinsons and I know it and so does he. He is taking her shirt off because it’s part of his exam, but I know that he’s up to know good, he is just flirting with her, wants to see her breasts. She is going along with it because she doesn’t know any better…she trusts the doctor. I know this doctor and I know he’s an asshole…fucker…he knows as well as I do that there is nothing wrong with her, but I leave because I’m just an EMT…no match for the might of a doctor. Besides…what do I know?



I’m in a large concrete alley. The walls are white concrete, and they are at least 40 feet high and the alley is as far as I can see. Behind me the alley makes a 90 degree right hand turn and there are alleys running parallel to the one I’m standing in…it’s almost like a huge concrete maze. There is a concrete table in front of me, and it has some type of dip on it. The dip isn’t in a bowl, and there isn’t much, just a few tablespoons worth, and I have some tortilla chips in my hand. I walk up to the dip and scrape it off the concrete and eat it. I’m happy…I’m alone…I’m celebrating a victory that I have just accomplished. I can’t remember the victory, but I know what it is. I think to myself that “I’m celebrating because of my craftiness. I tricked that girl into having sex with me.” I don’t remember a girl in this dream…and I don’t remember any sex, but my glee was evil in nature. I have know idea what this one means.

29 Oct, 2008
0948 hrs

It is the 3rd of November as I write now. We had a hooch party on the 29th and 30th, and I ended up sick from smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily. I’m not as young as I used to be. The 31st through the 2nd I had to work, and I was sick, so I didn’t have the energy to write in my DJ. I’m still sick, but I don’t have to work again until Wednesday, so I’m going to try to catch up to with this DJ. I did make it a point to concentrate on my dreams when I woke up to remember the most detail as possible. The dream I’m about to enter I took notes for, very shorthand, and I can’t remember some of the things I wrote down, so I know that much detail is lost w/o writing it down upon awakening. I think as you write just after awakening details about the dream, as well as things you didn’t remember upon awakening emerge.


I can explain the context of this dream before I start. I have been noticing how things that happen in waking life make their way into dreams. I believe the night of this dream Wendy had to talk with a supposed porn star on the phone. Some dude called her a few days before and asked if she would do porno. He told her that he had a “14” cock” and was bragging about how big his “cock” was. I didn’t like some dude talking to my wife like that, but I realized that he was a porn star, supposedly, and I knew that if it was true than we could make a lot of very needed money. At the time our heater was still broken and it was getting below freezing outside…we could see our breath in the bedroom and were going to bed fully clothed. I never do that. I even wore a fleece beenie to bed. So we came up with a price and decided we would start with 10,000 dollars for however long he needed to film him fucking some ho. He had said that money was no option and talked about how he had four houses, one in Florida, one in California, one in North Carolina and one somewhere else. He had a photographer in California but he didn’t want to fly her out to North Carolina and that’s why he was looking for another photographer. Yet money was no option. Wendy emailed him with the 10,000 dollar offer. We didn’t want to short ourselves and we couldn’t find out what the industry standard was. The guy acted like 10,000 dollars wasn’t shit and that it would be fine. Wendy had to call him this night, and it was about 0030 hours when we went to bed.. She had to finalize the deal and get the specifics. Apparently the dude wanted her to watch some porn online while he was on the phone with her to get her input. He knew that I was there. Presumably he wanted her to watch porn of him. I think Wendy had already watched some and had seen this dudes 14” dick,. Wendy called him while we lay in bed, and I listened to their conversation. It started to become clear to me that this guy was full of shit and was just pulling some skeez ball scam to try and get some pussy. He was talking about his cock to my wife, and she was laughing and speaking in a flirty voice with him. I began to get very uncomfortable with the situation. I started to get mad at Wendy for talking to him in that way. He ends up telling her that he will not need her because his producer is just going to take stills off of the video. That doesn’t make any sense to me. He goes on to say that he may use Wendy for a private shoot for his own personal use. He asks her if she would travel to Brazil, or would she be willing to travel overseas in general. He flirts with her for a while and she reciprocates. I know she doesn’t know that she is flirting with him, but she is. She probably just thought that’s the way she was supposed to act to be professional with a porn star. I’m onto him and getting pissed off at the situation, mainly because of her flirting with him. I start getting angry at the whole idea of the thing. I roll over to go to sleep when they get off the phone and she says “baby, are you okay,” because she can tell that I’m not. I don’t say anything for a while, and eventually I tell her that she was flirting with him and it pissed me off, and that he is just taking her for a ride. We don’t resolve the contempt and anger before I fell asleep and this is the resulting dream that I have.


I’m laying in bed and Wendy is taking off her close at the foot of the bed and looking at me with seductive eyes. She is more beautiful in the dream than in real life, but only because there are no blemishes on her skin and she is a little bit skinnier than in real life, but not much. She still has more meat on her bones than when I met her, but she had room for that. She gets on the bed and crawls towards me. She stops in mid crawl says “I’m no longer bleeding,” then she tilts her head and says “who have I said that to recently.” In real life she has just gotten through her menstrual cycle. I stop her and begin to get angry. Why would she have any reason to tell somebody that she is no longer bleeding? Maybe to tell somebody she was PMS’ing and is no longer, but not “I’m no longer bleeding.” I get angry, hurt, and worried at this point. We start arguing about it. She says that she remembers who she told, and that she had to tell him because he had “kidney breath.” I get up and leave the room and go into the kitchen. I’m sitting at the computer and she walks into the kitchen fully dressed with a coat on, and her hair is cut shorter and has been changed to blonde. She looks beautiful but also like a different person. She tells me that she has left me a message that is imperative and that she is leaving me. I have no idea what to do with this information. She turns and walks out of the kitchen and towards the front door to leave. I get up and follow her, and I say “somebody’s got to go, I can’t live like this.” She is on the phone with him, and she is facing me as she pulls the door shut to leave. She doesn’t care, she is grinning at me and very nonchalant. She is leaving me for bigger and better things and she could give a rats ass about me, her husband, any longer.


At this point in the dream the clarity gets very good. It has that realer than real appearance to it. I turn around and make my way into the kitchen. I’m standing in the kitchen flipping out. I don’t know what to do. Everything looks so real and crystalline. I think to myself “I need to go buy some cigarettes.” And then I wake up.



I have no notes for this dream, and I’m not even sure if this is the right date, but I know that these dreams are chronologically correct.

30 Oct, 2008

I’m in some large factory that is a few stories high and very open on the inside. The walls are probably 80 feet high. There is some machinery on the periphery, but for the most part it’s very open. I’m with a group of people, and we are being taught something…that’s why we are here. We are being given a tour, and at some point I can remember being in a class room learning. We walk out of the wide expanse of this factory and into a hallway that has rooms along it. One of the rooms has a piece of equipment that catches my interest. I walk into the room and two of the instructors follow me into it. The piece of equipment is from 1850 when this plant was first built, and one of the instructors demonstrates how it was used. He attaches it to some large cables and pulls a crank out from it. He turns the crank and explains that this action used to power the entire plant. I find it interesting that this piece of equipment is no longer being used because it seems so much more efficient than burning fuel to run everything. It seems that we have regressed. Neither of the men with me can explain why it was forgone for less efficient means of power. We continue on down the hall and the scene changes to that of a futuristic market. It reminds me of a market that would be seen somewhere in-between “Waterworld,” and “Judge Dread.” I’m walking through this market with the rest of the class and there are a lot of people shopping at all manner of things being sold. Lot’s of little stands have food for sale. I realize I have some type of fruit in my hand, and I start eating it. The fruit is green, and it looks like small oblong pears. I notice that they are ate up with holes where worms probably were at some point. I begin to realize that the fruit is not fit to eat, so I drop it on the ground of the market and keep going. My wife is with me now, and we walk into a little store that’s in the market, and they are selling what looks to be toy parrots. The parrots are dressed up in costumes differently from one another and there is something written near by that says “these parrots will be your best friend.” I think they are interesting, maybe they are robot parrots, and one of them moves and I realize that they are real. I keep going and there is an end cap that has a real parrot sitting on it. I walk up to the parrot and Wendy is still beside me. I begin to pet the Parrot, and it lets me touch it wherever I want to. Wendy is enthralled with the parrot as well. I can tell this creature is very intelligent. I notice the presence of a foreboding man sort of peering at me. He is standing to the side of the end cap studying what I’m doing. I look up at him and he walks towards me and sort of pushes me away from the parrot and walks in-between us. He has on a windbreaker that is government looking. He has on dark sunglasses and an ear piece in his ear. On the back of his jacket there is an acronym written in yellow letters. I think it says “FBI” but I can’t remember for sure. I know he is an official government agent. He carries on and leaves me and my wife alone.


31 Oct, 2008
I have no notes for this dream

I’m walking down a hill that has snow on it. It’s a snow skiing slope, and my cousin Mark is with me. He has skies on and is having a good time sort of slowing skiing along beside me. I think to myself that I should put some skies on because it looks fun, but I realize it won’t be worth the trouble because we are almost to our destination. We get to a house, and to the side of the house there is a drop off into a rather deep creek. The house is actually built up to the creek so that the creek runs along side the foundation of the house. The drop off is about 40 feet into the water. Mark jumps down into the water, and I can see that where he is walking the water is about knee deep, but I don’t know how he got there. The water below me, next to the house, looks like it’s at least 10 feet deep, and it’s very cold outside. It is slightly snowing and windy. I yell to him “aren’t your feet wet.” He looks down at his feet which are underneath the water and says “no, they are fine, my boots are keeping them dry.” I look away from him and contemplate how I’m going to get where he is at. I know for some reason that I have to go with him. We are on some sort of a mission that is important, and this is part of it. I notice that there is a ledge on the side of the house at the level of the bank. I walk up to it and hug the house and try to get on the ledge to shimmy my way to the corner where I can jump to a tree and go from there. I realize, as I’m hugging the house, that I’m not going to be able to keep my balance. I’m scarred. I look down at Mark and his ski boots have become massive, life the feet of a transformer, or some anime character. They are blue, and they are three times the size of him. He is admiring his boots, and I realize that I don’t have boots like that to keep my feet dry and that I’m not going to be able to make it. Why did I not become lucid? I think I even thought about whether I was dreaming or not but didn’t do a reality check and just got distracted. I know there is much more to this dream, but I can’t remember any of it. It’s too bad because it was an awesome dream.


1 Nov 2008
0200 hrs

First LD since joining DV Forum and attempting to LD

I can’t remember how I figured out that I was dreaming in this dream. I know that I did a RC, and during waking life I always look at my hands randomly throughout my day whenever I think about it. I don’t remember seeing my hands in this dream, but I suspect that’s how I figured it out.

Ironically I don’t remember everything about this dream. It happened in real time, and I remember it as such, as if there was never a time that I forgot about it, but I did. When I first woke up I didn’t remember LD’ing because I woke up from a non-LD. After thinking about the dream I woke up from it just popped back into my mind as if it had never left. I didn’t have much notes on it because there wasn’t a whole lot to say in short hand at least.


At some point I realize that I’m dreaming, and I float up into the air. Virginia is with me, and she seems to be scared with what is going on. I float up and up, and move around a bit up in the air. There isn’t much for scenery, but it is night where I’m at. There is an old rickety building where I’m at. I’m inside of that building, I think it was just an abandoned house. I remember grabbing onto Virginia and floating us both up. As I approached the ceiling I thought “I wonder if I will be able to go through the ceiling,” but then I realize that I know I can. I have done it before in a dream, I can do whatever I want. I float up to the ceiling with Virginia in my arms and we go through it and onto the roof. Virginia is still scarred, but I know that she is a DC and that they act weird. I decide to jump off of the building. It’s about three stories. I jump off head first and rush to the ground as if I would fall in real life. As soon as I get to the ground I stop and hover above it. I’m having an awesome time revisiting the LD world. My dream starts to fade, and I’m aware that I’m losing lucidity. I decide to try spinning because I have never attempted to prolong a LD. I just didn’t know how before joining the DV forum. I spun around one time, and it was difficult for some reason. My intention was to spin around sever times, but I only managed one. It worked!!! My dream world became clearer and more lucid. I took off into the air like super man, but my LD renewal only lasted for moments. Spinning did clarify the dream, but as soon as it cleared up it was on it’s way out again.

3 Nov, 2008
1100 hrs
These are mainly fragments

I’m in a bar/club that serves food, and I’m sitting at a table with a few people having a good time. I think Wendy is with me. Two people join us and I don’t know either of them, but the one that catches my eye is a female. At first she looks homely to me, and I’m not attracted to her. She is sitting down at the table sort of slouched over, and it appears as though she may have a pot belly. I think there is a band playing, there is definitely music. The girl starts to sing sitting at the table, and her voice is being amplified in the club as if she is singing into a microphone but she is not. The entire place is listening to her sing, and her voice is beautiful. She changes appearance…her face slims up and beautifies, her hair turns into dreads, but not nasty dreads, at least I don’t feel that they are. I have the feeling that she is singing to me, and I am falling in love with her. She stands up and I can see her panties coming up over her hip, and they are red, and her shirt is a button up shirt and I can see her bra and the top of her breasts through the crack in-between the buttons. Her breasts are not big at all, they are B cups, but she is skinny now. She is skinnier than I am usually attracted to, but she is so beautiful and delicate. I remembered upon awakening what she was singing towards the end, and I think it was “I don’t want to leave you, please don’t leave me.” I can’t stress how beautiful and heart wrenching what she was singing was. It was hypnotic and erotic yet motherly all at once. I think to myself that I have to meet her. I have to get up and get her phone number and name…I have to find a way to learn more about her because we would be so good for each other. I realize that I’m married and that I can’t get to know her…it’s too late for that. I still contemplate for a second leaving my wife for her, but realize that it’s just not an option. She is leaving with the guy who brought her now. He is slightly pulling her arm and she is following, but she has a look of consternation on her face, and she is looking at me as if to say “come and get me, come and take me away, we can be together.” I just watch as they leave.
This is the next dream fragment that I can remember from last night.


I’m standing in a hotel room that is about six stories up, and I’m in Iraq. I don’t know why I’m in Iraq, but I get the feeling that earlier in this dream I was a soldier participating in the war. At this point in the dream, the point I remember clearly, I’m not a soldier. I think I may be press. There are a few other people in the room with me, but I don’t remember who they are or any specifics about them. I see something on a television in the room that is talking about how there is a convoy speeding through the city causing all types of devastation. I decide to look out the hotel window to see if I can see it, and I can. There is an 18 wheeler speeding down the shoulder knocking cars out of it’s way. It comes rocketing by along with a whole convoy of vehicles. The second one is a big military truck, but as the vehicles go buy they start getting less and less official. Another semi comes by and it’s got a flat bed trailer on it that has a cover, and there are soldiers that are having a party on it. There are many passed out drunk, and there are couches and such on the trailer. It’s easy to see that these soldiers are shit bags just having a party. I can hear the news reporting in the background that they are shooting at Iraqi civilians as they pass by. Next there are POV’s passing by with family members of the soldiers who are also drinking and driving and causing mayhem. I think to myself how unjust this is. The Iraqi traffic is bumper to bumper and they are all obeying the laws so as not to get shot at or ran into. The civilians are scared shitless by all of this chaos and nonsense. A truck load of soldiers pull over beneath the hotel room I’m in. Now I’m a presence just above them, watching. They all grab bud lights and shot gun them and one has a funnel and he funnels the beer. They all do this at the same time. They are fucked up drunk. They all get back in their vehicles and take off with the convoy.

4 Nov, 2008
0933 hrs

I woke up and laid there for a few minutes trying to remember my dreams and I couldn’t remember anything. It was as if I hadn’t dreamed. I got up to go to the head, and while I was sitting there the dream just popped into my head from nowhere. Ran it through my head and laid back down. While I was laying there I remembered a strange sensation I had last night which I will describe after the dream. I stayed in bed for about 15 minutes trying to do a combination of WILD and MILD I think…couldn’t go back to sleep…figured it was time to give up and get up instead of attempting to sleep the day away.

I’m at a swimming pool that looks like the pool my Grandma had at the apartment complex she lived in when I was growing up. I’ve been swimming, and I’m at the far end of the pool when I notice people showing up all dressed up as if for a wedding. I walk up to them and they are all people I went to high school with.

They were all part of a click that my best friend Joey hung out with in RL…they were all well to do and smart. Some of them were jocks, but they were intelligent ones. Joey was more like me, not so well off, but he ended up living in their same neighborhood when his parents re-married. The group never really accepted me, but Joey was my best friend so…


I walk up to them and one of them is like nine feet tall. I say to him “wow, what…have you been like eating hormones or sumpin’.” He doesn’t respond, but I can tell he doesn’t think I’m funny either. Everybody starts to gather in an outside patio area behind the pool that is predominately made up of windows. I can tell it’s this places reception hall, there are tables lined up. These tables are the type of tables that are long and have the legs that fold up underneath them like Church’s are found of using. They are lined up in rows and decorated all nice with table clothes. I’m standing in the back of the room and I’m feeling like an outcast who nobody cares about. All of these rich people…I’m not rich…I hate rich people. One of the rich friends is getting married, and so am I. For some reason we are getting married at the same time.

I move up to the front and get behind one of the tables. There is a friend of mine that nobody knows and that I barely know standing up front. He’s there for me…he’s probably my best man. I don’t recognize him as anybody in RL, but I go along with it in the dream none-the-less. He’s a little overweight and has the same problem that I do…namely nobody really thinks he belongs here. But he’s my friend. He asks me for a piece of paper that I had taken from him earlier and stuck in my pocket. It was a comic that he had drawn, but I don’t remember what was on it. I give it to him and he takes it up front to give a speech on my behalf. The room is thinning out now. None of the guest want to stick around to hear what my main man has to say, or anybody else who is here for me has to say. Some of them stick around, and I believe I have some family present who also stick around. He gives a speech and I can tell that we really don’t know each other. We haven’t been friends very long. I get the impression we have been friends for a year. He really does seem to like me. He gets done with his speech and comes up and hugs me. We are now standing there with our arms around each other while somebody else is talking. I start to feel uncomfortable because we are embracing each other inappropriately in my opinion. I just feel like we are too close to each other, but I don’t do anything. I’m worried about what others are going to think.

Now Wendy goes up to the front of the room to talk about me to the crowd. She is telling them about how we first met. She is saying that I was standing there starring at her, but in a way that she couldn’t tell I was starring. She says that I keep my head down and turned slightly so that any time she looked at me I could just move my eyes quickly and not be caught starring. I feel uncomfortable with the story because I feel like she is making me out to be a stalker, or a rapist. She is describing behavior that these types would exhibit in public. She says “but he runs a good game, and he got me.” She says this in an attempt to redeem herself because she can see that I’m uncomfortable by how she is displaying me. She walks up to me and gives me a hug.

I go out of the room to do something. I walk back into the room and I have nothing but my boxers on. I realize walking into the room that I have nothing but my boxers on, but for some reason I say “ohh well,” and walk into the room anyway. I think to myself “nobody will even notice.” One of the friends is up front giving a speech when I come walking into the room, and I get some sideways glances but they continue on. It seems that the other parties people have trickled back in to hear this speech. I’m standing there in my boxers some what self conscious and uncomfortable. I walk into a room behind the pew that the speaker is talking from. On the way I grab a clump of clothes that were on the ground by where I was standing. I get into this room and drop the clothing and notice that there are bras, panties, and shirts that belong to my Wendy. I grab a pair of black dress pants that are new and have belt through them and I realize that these are not my pants…they belong to somebody else. Some of the friends walk into the room and start changing and getting ready. I remember going into another room for the ceremony, but I don’t remember anything about it.

We are in a car now driving through a mountainous desert like you would see in Colorado or Wyoming. We are in love and everything is pleasant. I remember pulling into a small mountain motel, and I remember a feeling of contentment and well being here. We are a young couple in love, and I think we know that she is pregnant at this point (we have not had a child IRL).

The dream continues…and there are parts that I don’t remember, but I know this is part of the same dream. Wendy and I are in a bathroom shortly after the wedding and she is pregnant and showing. In fact she is due any day now. She is naked and she has to take a crap real bad. I’m worried because I know that often times women will go to the bathroom and drop a kid off in the pool, but not a turd, a baby. I’m worried that she is going to have our baby on the toilet, so I stand there to watch. She squats, but does not sit on the toilet, and a expels a large amount of air from her vagina, and her labia vibrates as this is done, and some grey matter comes out and hits me on the face somehow. I walk up to the mirror in the bathroom, and I am wiping this vaginal baby gunk off of my face, and I notice it’s in my eye. I look closely in the mirror and see grey matter in my eye covering about half of my eye. I’m trying to get it out and Wendy is looking at it now too. I think she is laughing at the situation. I am upset at the situation but not at her. I don’t blame her.

Next I am putting her in the back seat of a car and she is about to have the child. I have to get her to the hospital. I get her to the hospital and she is in a room now. I remember walking by the room and seeing her sitting in a rocking chair still pregnant. I realize that it may be a while before she has the kid because it’s her first. I don’t know why I’m not in the room with her.

The next part of the dream is real fuzzy. We are in an apartment that is our home. Our baby is there, but I get the impression from my memory that it’s not a human child. Well it is a human child, as far as we both recognize it as human, but it doesn’t look human. In the dream I think I just go with it, but it looks more like a puppy or a little bear cub, but these are very hazy memories from this dream and I’m half guessing at it. I remember feeling strong love for my wife and our child. I remember feeling that my life was now over as far as what I want is concerned. Now my life is providing for my family first and I come in a distant third.

It was a very good feeling. To me it’s the same type of comfort that the belief in god brings. What I mean is the whole journey to self awareness. In Christianity (I use this religion because it’s what I was raised as) there is the belief in God that stops the process of self discovery IMO. Everything is laid out for the believer and they don’t have to try to find the truth on their own. It’s lazy in a way. I’m not against wisdom because we need that, but one must dig deeply into their self to find out who they are and why they are here, or what their purpose is. In this dream having the child was a relief because now I didn’t have to worry too much about me anymore. Now I had a purpose and that was to provide for my family. In that respect it felt similar to no longer having to search for truth because here is an entire system that God has dictated we follow. The mental anguish natural to the pursuit of my truth was now over because my truth was providing for this family.

I woke up last night with a very strange emotion that was not foreign to me. I mistook what it was at first, but when the memory of it flooded back to me upon awakening today I was able to identify what it was. I woke up with a rushing feeling throughout my body, as if every part of me was vibrating highly and lightly. I picked my hand up and looked at it as I thought “I know I am dreaming, I have to be dreaming.” I wanted to confirm with the RC that I always use, but my hand remained stable. The vibrational buzzing began to dissipate as I lay their attempting to figure out what my state was. I tried to float out of bed knowing that the RC was failing but that I was in an altered state. I couldn’t float and the feeling left. My senses all returned to normal. The last time I felt that sensation was the last OBE I had. I was feeling the “Real Time Double,” as Robert Bruce calls it, returning back to my body. I woke up and became conscious of the final few seconds of the OBE. There is no doubt in my mind that this is what happened.

I’m starting to wonder if I should begin concentrating on astral projection and OBE instead of lucid dreaming. I think I may be more of a natural at OBE’s since that’s the first metaphysical experience I ever had. Concentrating on LD’ing seems to be reactivating the same part that works on OBE’s though, so maybe I should just keep doing what I’m doing and see what happens. I have had one LD since I started trying, and I caught the tail end of an OBE last night. I’m sure that it’s all related to questioning your reality every day all the time. When you stop sleep walking in waking life everything begins to blur as far as reality is concerned. The secret to spiritual discovery is mental discipline. I’m positive about that. If you have a strong enough will to know, you will know, but that will requires practicing mental discipline, and the more you concentrate on it the more you are given. Falling back into the soft loving arms of laziness is too easy and unfortunately our default setting. It’s much easier to self medicate with nicotine, alcohol, and whatever else your willing to plunge into.