The Book of Dreams According to Endymion
Greetings!
You might be wondering, “who the hell is this guy and why should I read his dream journal?” That’s a good question, one I would be asking myself if I were in your position.
First of all, despite my new registration and lack of posts, I have been interested in lucid dreaming for 6 years now, and I have been practicing on and off since 2002. Since then I’ve had over a hundred lucid dreams, which may not sound like a lot, but I’ve taken some extended breaks in there; when I’m actively trying to LD I usually can get them at a fairly high rate. Overall I’m probably a mid-level oneironaut. What really got me back into practice and more enthused about LDs than anytime except perhaps the very beginning was reading Thomas Yuschak’s book, “Advanced Lucid Dreaming: The Power of Supplements.” I know many of you have read or heard about this book, probably long before I had, and can testify to its mind-blowing nature. For me this was a whole new way of looking at lucid dreaming, much different than the dreamsign, reality check, DILD-centric paradigm I had started out learning. After reading it and following Yuschak’s guidelines, the high-level LDs I achieved made those earlier lucids look like child’s play. In the one month since I’ve been taking supplements, I’ve had 14 independent LDs (not counting the ones I’ve reentered after awakening) and my success rate so far with Galantamine and Choline has been 100% (9 for 9). I’m not trying to boast here, just give you an idea of why I’m so excited once again about lucid dreaming and why you should be too if you haven’t heard or are skeptical about the LDS method.
So why would reading this journal be worthwhile? Fairly often I see people use online DJs to record every fragment of a dream memory, no matter how mundane, and I frequently find myself trying to sift through the chaff to get to the juicy stuff. That’s fine if you want to record everything, but do it in a notebook or a Word document; chances are people aren’t going to want to read about another dream you had about work. The other thing that annoys me is when, even when I get to someone’s LD, there are only a few sentences or a paragraph describing it. To me this is such a tease. I understand there are reasons for this – you may only recall the basic plot or feel you have to summarize it before the memory fades or have limited time to record it before attending to other obligations – but from a reader’s point of view it’s only enough to whet my appetite. Many people also simply describe the action in a dream – what they can literally see. I find that oftentimes I’m curious to know not just what happened, but why it happened. What motivated using that particular technique? How did a particular event make you feel? Etc.
All of this is basically to say that my sincere effort in this journal is to make it as valuable as possible for the reader. I see the dream journal not just as a source of entertainment or a way to keep my recall sharp, but as a tool. I want to constantly learn and improve, to find what works and what doesn’t work – and I hope you do too. With that in mind, I’ll try to stand by the following guidelines:
1) Only post interesting dreams
2) Only post dreams I can remember in detail
3) Try to include my motivations, feelings, and emotions as much as possible in my description
4) Include a detailed log so you can see what works and what doesn’t in terms of supplements, dosages, WBTB interval, sleep position, and more. The structure of the log is mostly adopted from Yuschak’s template at the end of his book
5) Include a lessons and theories comment with each dream so I can detect patterns, try new experiments within dreams, and try new supplement combos. This could also be a basis for discussion where I might throw an open-ended question out there or see if you might have reacted differently to a particular dream stimulus.
6) Use the following color code:
BLUE = lucid dreams
BLACK (normal) = nonlucid dreams
PURPLE = log
GREEN = comments, theories, and lessons
In general, I want to emphasize quality over quantity and lessons in addition to entertainment. That’s why this journal is for you, the reader. If you find you like or dislike my style, let me know; same with any facet of this journal – I want this to be as fluid and useful as possible. So, without further ado, I’d like to invite you to come along with me as I explore the fascinating and uncharted territory that is the dream world according to endymion …
Fireworks and Space Shuttles [LD]
“Fireworks and Space Shuttles” [LD]
10/17/08
7:05 a.m
[DILD; ~10 min]
I find myself sitting down by myself in a restaurant that seems intimately familiar to me in the dream, but one I don’t recognize when I think back on it. I’m in one of those 2-person booths directly facing the entrance. I look up at the blank wall and think to myself how upset I am that they took down the TV that was positioned there. Soon after I think this, I notice a group of middle-aged women walk in that I realize are the mothers of classmates I had back in grade school, like Margaret G and Sharon H’s mom. I try to shrink back in my seat to avoid eye contact, but I think one of them sees me.
I contemplate leaving to avoid the pity invitation they’ll probably give me when the realize I’m all alone here, but stick around just a little too long. Sharon H’s mom comes up to me, but instead of inviting me to sit at their table as I expected, she starts talking about how she heard about the trail work I was doing at Wyalusing. She is particularly concerned about a check dam that she hopes I replaced. I tell her I’m not sure which particular check dam she’s referring to. Looking a little dissatisfied, she turns and leaves, but I could care less. I stand up to leave, but before I exit I sneak a peek at the kitchen, where I notice John P's mom cooking. I think this is strange but then it kind of “makes sense” when I leave the building and notice the building I actually was just in was John P’s house! I get on my bike with the intention of biking back to my RV at Wyalusing. Along the way, as I am on Rolling Green St. in Green Bay, I ride my bike by putting my chest on the seat and straightening my legs off the backside. I notice it begin to snow lightly, and realize that this is now just too strange to be real.
I dismount my bike and look at my hand as a reality check, and sure enough there are at least 6 fingers. Since it is nighttime, I try doing something I never thought of before or even set as a lucid goal: shooting off fireworks from my palm. I fire one off far away into the night sky, and the trail is faint so I’m skeptical, but a few seconds later the sky is lit up by a brilliant explosion of color. I’m amazed, and with a wave of my hand I extend the spectacle all across the sky, with hundreds of similar fireworks going off simultaneously, the grandest of finales. All the while this is happening, the song “Paradiso Del'Anima Persa” by J Ralph is playing, further adding drama and excitement to the scene.
Satisfied, I keep walking along, and eventually notice a NASA space shuttle about to launch (there are even small blue flames coming out from beneath it). I decide it would be cool to ride this shuttle into outer space, so I quickly run towards it. The path I’m following takes me through this building, which is very open like a gym and with windows giving me a constant view of the shuttle, but I can’t seem to be physically able to penetrate the windows, even while trying to fly through them (also there is a steel grid linking the windows together, making each window smaller than my body). I decide that this would be a good time to try to “spin a new dream scene” to get past the wall. I start spinning, and my visuals all go black, which make me worried I’m waking up, but several seconds later I’m right where I wanted to be, in front of the shuttle! Strangely, the shuttle then drops down a chute directly underneath it, apparently to build up momentum before it leaves the atmosphere. I stand there looking down into the abyss of the chute, the shuttle below where I can see. I take some time to marvel at the detail of the ledge I am sitting on, it’s ultra-smooth panels and vibrant hues of purple and blue and gold. The darkness beneath me makes me nervous about jumping down the chute to mount the shuttle, even though that’s what I would need to do to attach myself to it for launch. However, before I can make up my mind for good, my alarm clock rings and I awaken.
LOG: 10/16/08 – 10/17/08
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 2.5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 8mg Galantamine, 400 mg Choline, 200 mg Mucuna Pruriens (plus toast to help digestion)
After how many hours of sleep? 5.5
Dreaming when I woke up to take supplements? Yes
Exercises done after taking supplements: Reiterating my intention, counting to myself
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? 50-60 min
Sleep position: on my left
Transition details (if WILD):
Intensity of vibrations, acceleration, or other part of transition:
Dream quality: 8
Ability to recall dream: 7
Visual vividness: 6
Tactile vividness: 9
Auditory vividness: 8
Participation level: 9
Lucidity level: 8
DILD or WILD? DILD, but I was lucid right off the bat
Ability to control reasoning: 8
Ability to control emotions: 5
Ability to control will: 7
Physical side effects? None, not even the stomach grumbling I usually get with Galantamine (the toast probably helped)
Mental side effects? None; high level of energy when I woke up!
Lessons or theories: Keep using the spinning technique – it works very well. Flying around Iron Man style is quite do-able and effective. Strong need to stop treating DCs as if they have the power to stop me from completing my intentions.
Conversations with Jack-O-Lanterns and other Ghoulish Adventures
“Conversations with Jack-O-Lanterns and other Ghoulish Adventures” [LD]
11/12/08
~5:00-5:30 a.m.
[DILD; ~30 min]
I don’t know how this dream starts, but I think it is another DILD. The first thing I remember is brandishing a fierce katana with a soft, spongy handle. I hold this out directly in front of me as I make dramatic leaps and bounds for the sheer joy of it. The next thing that I remember is having a FA where I wake up in the backyard of my Green Bay home. Even so, I just know it’s around 6:00 a.m. and I have to get up to get to work on time. I stand up from the bench on the deck, and as I’m going to cross the screen door to get inside, my cousin Olivia R shows up, and from behind the screen asks me if I could help her with a puzzle she found in a newspaper. I tell her I can’t help her right now, as I am already probably late for work.
I have another FA in my Green Bay home but in a different room this time. When I get up, I ask my Mom if Olivia was here, and she says “how did you know?” Something about this makes me realize I’m dreaming, and I do yet another light switch RC to confirm, the light I use this time being the light over the backyard deck.
In the next scene I remember I find myself walking down Green Ridge Dr. at night. Across the street I notice a fairly large jack-o-lantern sitting on my neighbor’s lawn. I remember last month’s Dream Views task and decide that since a pumpkin is right here, I might as well see if I can get it to talk. I go up to it and introduce myself. Without any difficulty, the jack-o-lantern comes to life, getting even larger and looking at me. We have a short conversation but sadly I do not recall anything that was said.
Having regained lucidity at this point, I decide it would be a good idea to try my dream goal of summoning a genie from a lamp and using its wishes. I try the reach behind my back method of summoning multiple times, but can’t get it to work. Even after I fail at this, I rub my hands, thinking maybe the lamp is unnecessary to conjure the genie. No genie appears, but as a pleasant side effect the dream becomes more vivid because of the hand rubbing.
The next scene I find myself walking down Open Gate St., once again in my old neighborhood, at night. Continuing on with the Halloween theme, I notice two boys approaching me in the dim light. They are each carrying chainsaws, and immediately the dream turns into a nightmare as they try to hunt me down and slice me with their chainsaws, even though I try to ignore them at first. This doesn’t work, as the next thing I feel is one of their saws slicing into my back. I turn around and decide to fight back. Somehow I procure a chainsaw of my own, though it is much smaller than the ones the boys have, and theirs seem to even be expanding and getting bigger (one even turning into a pole-chainsaw) as I hopelessly try to deflect the bars. Multiple times I feel the blades slice my body, but they never go all the way through and it isn’t realistic pain, more like tickling. Eventually I put a stop to this madness by simply telling them to stop.
The next thing I know my attackers and I, along with other formerly costumed Halloweeners are cleaning off in a locker room type setting. I discover that the boys who attacked me are just actors and didn’t have any malicious intent in their actions. I meet some other interesting people, most notably a brunette who introduces herself as Monica Osborne, who is a reporter for a school newspaper and interviews me about the chainsaw scene. She is wearing novelty glasses where one eye is normal and the other is replaced with a googly eye along with a shiny blue Halloween costume.
After meeting Monica and deciding her name to be of some importance to remember, I try to force myself to wake up. However, I have the hardest time actually doing so. Granted, it takes me a while remember how to do so correctly…first I just shout “wake up now!!” which just triggers a string of FAs. In one FA I’m sliding my head across my bedroom floor in frustration at still being in the dream. In another, I find myself on my bed with pills and supplements (mainly Melatonin tablets) strewn all about my bed. Finally I remember to just lie down and “go to sleep” in order to wake up, which does in fact wake me up for real.
LOG: 11/11/08 – 11/12/08
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 600mg GPC, 200mg Mucuna Pruriens, 8mg Galantamine, 400mg Choline (plus pop-tart to aid digestion)
After how many hours of sleep? 5
Dreaming when I woke up to take supplements? No
WBTB session length (if applicable): about 10 min
Exercises done after taking supplements: repeating my intentions x2
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? ~ 1 hour
Sleep position: on my left, tilted slightly up for the first dream. On my right, legs crossed for the next two dreams
Dream quality: 4
Ability to recall dream: 5
Visual vividness: 7
Tactile vividness: 3
Auditory vividness: 6
Participation level: 8
Lucidity level: 3
DILD or WILD? DILD
Ability to control reasoning: 5
Ability to control emotions: 3
Ability to control will: 3
Physical side effects? Stomach grumbling
Mental side effects? none
Lessons or theories: Try summoning objects by reaching into an unseen area and expecting to pick them up instead of just reaching behind my back. Rolling has become an established, effective way to break out of the limbo state between wakefulness and sleep when doing WILDs. Work on remembering conversations, even if this means forcing myself to awaken.
"Meeting Old Schoolmates on the Way to the Yellow Brick Road"
“Meeting Old Schoolmates on the Way to the Yellow Brick Road” [LD]
11/17/08
~3:40 a.m – 4:30 a.m.
[WILD; ~50 min]
This dream actually starts out as a regular nonlucid dream in which lucidity is talked about. I find myself with my family in our Green Bay home but with elements of my RV in it. For example, in the first scene I am with my brothers, all sitting in a booth downstairs. We are all interested in lucid dreaming and are attempting to have one, but Sam is yelling or chanting something while I am trying to relax completely and fall asleep with a WILD. Eventually I give up because of the noise, yell at him for being so disruptive, and leave the room.
I finally get some quiet alone time in a room upstairs. I lie down and this time successfully WILD (within the dream). The sensation of the transition is so vivid and real though that it felt like I was WILD-ing from an awakened state. When I judge to be past the threshold, I roll out of my body into my other dream body. At first everything is black and I feel disoriented, stumbling around a lot, perhaps with a headache. Eventually I make my way out of the room and find myself in a much more spacious and luxurious dwelling than my Green Bay home really is. The first room I enter is a very bright kitchen area with sunlight streaking in everywhere. I see a digital clock on the stove (which is embedded into an island-bar). Out of habit, I decide to do a RC, and sure enough the time changes from 1:20 to 1:02, with constant fluctuation even when I am looking right at it. Parts of the interior environment change before my eyes and become even more spacious & luxurious without any direct intent on my part. My mother makes an appearance from the floor upstairs and I ask her where “Easter breakfast” is. She replies, “in a minute” (or something...weird).
I snap back into a more heightened awareness and decide to leave the house, do my LD prep and attempt my dream goal of following the yellow brick road (DreamView’s November task of the month). As I exit from the front door, I notice everything man-made is the front yard is made of very finely finished (mahogany?) wood – columns, tables, even the floor (driveway) itself. As I walk then I do my LD prep, first saying “this is happening in the here and now, this very moment” (I find this incredibly helpful in boosting mental clarity). Then I rub my hands together, shout “increase lucidity now!” and “increase clarity now!” The combination of all these things is very impressive and as a result the dream is amazingly clear and vivid. I remember to remember a recent memory, but I’m not sure if I succeed or fail at this (I can’t recall the memory I would have remembered), but I proceed as if I succeed, since I don’t dwell on it. To complete my LD prep I focus on the dream scenery and marvel at how I can create such a world from my mind. At this last point, after jogging for a while, I find myself outside of the all-wooden area and am in a heavily landscaped area with stone blocks and a view out onto a tremendous city.
I decide to get down to business and find the yellow brick road. I say to myself, “I know with 100% certainty that the yellow brick road lies around the next corner” to build up my expectation. So I turn the corner and…nothing, just the same type of scenery. I’m frustrated but keep jogging around, trying to think of another way to get there. Somewhere along the line I decide to take to the skies and fly. Not long after I’m airborne, I spy a bridge with some people on it. I descend onto the bridge near two girls, one blonde and the other a darker-skinned brunette with a large face that I recognize as an acquaintance from high school (her name escapes me at the moment). After I land I ask them if they know where the yellow brick road is. The blonde is quick to answer, saying something along the lines of, “Oh, I’ve been there many years ago, but I forgot where it is now.” I ignore them and fly off once again.
The next scene I can remember, I find myself in a partially-indoor harbor of some kind which is surrounded on 3 sides by walls. I walk up a central platform and once again marvel at how vivid and clear this dream is. Then the visuals begin to fade. Luckily, I recognize this quickly, and save the dream by spinning. Back on the platform, I notice a boy standing next to me who I recognize as someone who was one grade behind me in grade school. I ask him if he knows how to get to the yellow brick road. He says he doesn’t, but his buddy does, and he points to another boy a few levels up behind an open window along one of the harbor walls. So I fly from the platform over to the friend, landing inside the opening. This is also a boy that I went to grade school with, but I can’t remember his name. After I ask him about the road, he points and tells me I need to get on the raft that’s just about the leave the harbor.
Following his instructions, I fly down to the waiting raft, but the captain, a white-haired Aussie with an attitude, tells me I’ll be killed flying around like that. Out of respect, I land on the solid ground next to the docked raft before I board on foot. Right away we are off, floating in a very narrow and controlled channel. We take a left out of the harbor and continue on the narrow channel. Once we are completely out of sight of the main harbor docking area, another boy grasps tightly onto my hands under the captain’s orders, locking my wrists together. The captain then says this is a necessary precaution for his own protection. Despite my feeling of bitterness, I go along with it, at least until they can take me to the yellow brick road.
Eventually we dock up and disembark where the channel ends. We continue walking on foot through another corridor. After some minutes pass, I decide I can’t stand being locked up like this anymore, so I thrash wildly to get the kid off me. This proves very hard, and he won’t let go. I am even more frustrated because I realize that since I’m lucid this kind of shit shouldn’t stop me from exercising control over the dream, but yet it does. Shortly after I have this thought, I awaken.
LOG: 11/06/08 – 11/17/08
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 2.5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 600mg GPC, 200mg Mucuna Pruriens, 8mg Galantamine, 400mg Choline (plus pop-tart to aid digestion)
After how many hours of sleep? 5
Dreaming when I woke up to take supplements? Yes (about a toxic purple haze)
WBTB session length (if applicable): ~ 30 min
Exercises done after taking supplements: Repeating my intentions x2
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? ~ 1 hour
Sleep position: on my left, tilted slightly up
Transition details (if WILD): gentle, tactile, with me rolling out of my body
Intensity of vibrations, acceleration, or other part of transition: 3
Dream quality: 9
Ability to recall dream: 9
Visual vividness: 9
Tactile vividness: 6
Auditory vividness: 7
Participation level: 9
Lucidity level: 8
DILD or WILD? WILD within dream
Ability to control reasoning: 8
Ability to control emotions: 5
Ability to control will: 2
Physical side effects? Stomach grumbling, gas when I woke from dream
Mental side effects? None
Lessons or theories: I find it is a lot easier to remember numbers from dreams (even ones seen early on) than conversations. Case in point today was the numbers from the digital clock RC. Remember to try to get a soundtrack playing when taking GPC. When I can sleep in some more I should try to take the Mucuna and the GPC earlier to try to synchronize their peak plasma times with Galantamine.
"Fugitive from the Lucid Dreaming Authorities"
“Fugitive from the Lucid Dreaming Authorities” [LD]
11/25/08
6:00 a.m. – 7:00 a.m.
[WILD; ~ 1 hour]
This starts out as a WILD with a fairly significant gap in consciousness, but when I regain it my dream body is lying down in the basement in my sleeping bag just as I was before I went to bed. The thing that makes me regain consciousness and realize I’m dreaming is the fact that the TV is on right in front of me, and it wasn’t when I went to bed. Onscreen is a football game featuring a team with maroon jerseys. Instead of lifting my body up, then walking off upright, I levitate/hover over horizontally from the couch to the open carpet, and only then do I pick myself up and stand upright. So it is essentially an OBE transition.
The room is very dark at this point. I think about how to get out of my basement, then decide to try flying straight up through the ceiling. However, this doesn’t work so well and I end up just walking up the stairs. When I get to my kitchen I see my father and brother in there lounging around. I go up to my father and ask him, “Do you know that you’re a character in my dream?” I forget what he says, if anything.
I then walk out to the deck in my backyard. It’s still very dark (nighttime), so I decide to try to add some light to the scene by making the sun rise. It takes a while before I catch on to what I need to visualize to make this work: displacing the stars to make room for the sun. When the sun finally does come up, it is quite pale and tiny, almost like a bright moon. I stay on the back deck a while and do some LD prep. First I remind myself that I’m dreaming and that this is happening “in the here and now – this very moment.” Then I do a lot of hand rubbing, shout “increase lucidity now!” and “increase clarity now!” These last two gestures don’t seem to do much to enhance lucidity, but what really makes a difference is focusing intently on objects like the beams of wood in my deck and a hanging lamp. Everything is crystal clear after doing this. Satisfied enough, I walk back inside, planning to use one of the doors as a portal to the yellow brick road.
While inside, I walk down the hallway to the front door and try very hard to expect to see the yellow brick road on the other side, but when I open the door it’s not there…all I see is my front yard. Disappointed, I stay inside, closing the door and trying the portal/expectation method on other doors in the house, to no avail.
I think I then have another FA back to where I’m sleeping in the basement. Everything is dark again, though I do notice a shiny, curvy and sharp axe just sitting feet from where I “woke up.” It’s unusual but I don’t give it more than a passing thought. Somehow I then get upstairs, but I’m not sure how. Once there I go back outside and raise the sun, but this time it is much easier now that I can visualize the stars shifting and making way for it. After I go back inside I decide to abandon the yellow brick road attempt after so many failures. Instead I go for the old standby: sex.
As I walk upstairs I just happen to encounter two very interesting females that are putting out like crazy. I say interesting because they look to me to be more like faeries; roughly human-sized but smaller, with delicate features and wearing bright-colored, flowing attire (though mainly a lot of skin is showing). I was planning on summoning my usual partner, Evelyn, but with these two so willing I thought I’d just accept the winds of fate and make love to them instead. I tell them to follow me and we arrive at one of the second floor bedrooms. There it is very flirty and sensual, and I’m especially attracted to the girl wearing pink. At first I don’t remember explicitly undressing, but I do remember a lot of kissing, which feels great and authentic.
Before long I hear a noise in the other room. Someone opens the door and I realize that I am victim once again to my own subconscious sabotage; DCs appear to be flooding the outer room. I tell the faerie-girls to hide under the bed while I go deal with them. Unfortunately, I don’t learn my lesson from prior experience and my way to “deal” with them is to try slamming the door shut against their oncoming bodies, as if my sheer physical force I could get them to leave and then lock the door. There are two men who have their arms partway stuck in the door when I go to slam it shut, and they aren’t budging. To escalate things, I whip out a katana from God knows where and start hacking at their arms. Gashes appear in their arms, but the two guys just laugh and refuse to budge. I realize this is a losing battle and sprint back into the room. The girl in pink looks at me with tender and solemn eyes and says “you promised.” Man, if only girls were this willing in real life! I think I try to console her, but I only have seconds before the room is overrun with DCs.
Once again I’m pretty sure I have another FA here. When I get back up to ground level I go outside and, still intent on having sex, decide to use the corner of my house to summon Evelyn and do this without so much drama. However, despite calling her name, Evelyn fails to appear. I’m beginning to suspect that it’s much harder to summon using the expectation method in such a high-level LD. Frustrated, I fly about, not really even knowing what to do anymore. I see the moon up in the night sky, and, noticing it is about five times larger than usual, am tempted to try to fly there. I start my flight, but I soon reach a limit above which I can’t fly. The moon shrinks back down after this failed attempt as if to mock me.
The next thing I remember is having another FA, this time right on my front lawn next to my driveway. After I do a quick RC in which I have six fingers, I get out of my sleeping bag and see, projected against the night sky in the distance, what looks to be a website displaying very confidential and sensitive information. I make a sincere effort to remember what I’m seeing, but as soon I resolve to do this, I get a significant pain in my hips and a stern male voice booms out from the sky something along the lines of: “You were not supposed to see this. Forget everything you saw and just wake up.” The threat and the physical pain are enough to get me to try to do as the voice commanded, though I still try to make every effort to remember the words I saw projected (ultimately I failed at this, because I don’t remember).
Unfortunately, despite lying down to try to wake myself up, I still have another FA, and just a few yards away from where I just laid down no less! When I get up I see pictured blocks with images of leaves on them, which I can’t really explain. I’m fully aware that I’m still dreaming at this point, but now I’m just desperately trying to find a way to wake up so I can remember the words I saw earlier. I notice a crowd gathered on my front lawn, on the other side of the driveway. I just intuitively know that these are the LD authorities, in league with the man whose voice boomed out from the sky at me earlier. They are gathered to discuss my fate and any possible punishments. Instead of fleeing though, I go right up to them and start punching them, possibly even taking out a weapon and swinging it at them. They start to flee to where they’re just out of reach, then send this ferocious pit bull at me. Before I can even react, it has its jaws clamped around my right arm and is not letting go. Interestingly, the pain is a lot like the pressure put on your arm when taking a blood pressure test. It is mild and spread out rather than acute and sharp. I finally have the presence of mind to try LaBerge’s method here, looking the dog in the eyes and telling it “I love you.” This works perfectly; the dog instantly lets go, then just sits there in front of me obediently, tongue hanging out. I pet its head, saying things like “who’s a good doggie?” etc., until I finally tell it to go attack its owners (who are standing not too far back from this whole scene). It just scampers back innocently, all malice apparently drained away by my gesture of empathy.
Satisfied, I walk away from the whole scene, back towards my house. Before I can get inside, however, I am confronted by a middle-aged woman who introduces herself as “Duncan Heima” (strange name for a woman, I know). She says she is president of the LD Institute or Authority or something (basically, the same group that was gathering together deciding my fate). She tells me, “the crimes you committed today are indeed serious, but we’re willing to grant you leeway because before you came along it was long thought that males were unable to issue commission (by which she means ejaculate) in dreams.” Needless to say I am weirded out by this statement. I ask for her name once again and she tells me. She asks for me to follow her into their van for some more questioning or something. I go along without complaint. As we are getting situated in the van, with Miss Heima in the middle between myself and one other person (a tight fit), I notice some more of her features: she is brown skinned, shorter and stockier, with gentle and delicate features. I can’t help but ask for her name a third time just to be absolutely sure I remember it when I awaken. She laughs because she thinks this is silly or that I’m retarded or something, but does for a third time tell me her name. And even after hearing it three times I am still not sure I remember it 100% correctly. Finally, shortly after this I awaken for real and resolve to see if I can find out if this “Duncan Heima” is a real person.
LOG: 11/24/08 – 11/25/08
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 2.5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 600mg GPC, 200mg Mucuna Pruriens, 8mg Galantamine, 400mg Choline, 2400mg Piracetam (after dream)
After how many hours of sleep? 4.75
Dreaming when I woke up to take supplements? Yes
WBTB session length (if applicable): 35 min
Exercises done after taking supplements: Repeating my intentions x2
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? ~ 1 hour
Sleep position: On my left
Transition details (if WILD): I regain consciousness and realize I’m dreaming when I notice the fact that the TV is on right in front of me, and it wasn’t on when I went to bed. Instead of lifting my body up, then walking off upright, I levitate/hover over horizontally from the couch to the open carpet, and only then do I pick myself up and stand upright. So it is essentially an OBE transition.
Intensity of vibrations, acceleration, or other part of transition: 3
Dream quality: 9
Ability to recall dream: 9
Visual vividness: 9
Tactile vividness: 8
Auditory vividness: 8
Participation level: 10
Lucidity level: 9
DILD or WILD? WILD (ish)
Ability to control reasoning: 8
Ability to control emotions: 5
Ability to control will: 3
Physical side effects? Lots of stomach grumbles, mainly because I didn’t take any food with my supplements this morning
Mental side effects? Very distressing to try to wake up and be unable to, especially using a tried-and-true method. I woke up with a lot of “mental weight,” meaning the end of the dream was very dramatic and intense and it carried over in my emotions after waking.
Lessons or theories: Showing kindness to DCs actually works to get them to stop bothering you. Need to incorporate this more into my responses to DCs rather than being quick to violence. Using doors and the expectation method to summon things has been consistently failing for me for a while now, and this failure seems to be a vicious cycle because it instills doubt and lack of confidence into all my future attempts. I either need to try summoning something less ambitious and build my confidence back up or try a new method entirely, because this is severely hampering my ability to complete my dream goals. After this dream I did a Google search for “Duncan Heima” and some alternate spellings, but nothing came up :(
"The Great Sleigh Ride" [LD]
“The Great Sleigh Ride” [LD]
12/05/08
7:05 a.m. – 8:00 a.m.
[WILD; ~55 min]
This dream started off with a rather interesting WILD transition. I had read on the DV forums about someone using the circular motion of the wheel-lever on a fire hydrant as an anchor to grasp onto and pull oneself into the dream. I decided to try and use this method, so when I felt all my other body parts fall asleep, I concentrated on the image. Although I’m a pretty poor visualizer, the grasping motion and consequent rotation of my hand (and body) along with the wheel was very visceral and real, despite the blackness that I saw. At that point it felt like my head was detached from my body, my consciousness was concentrated all in my head, and my head was spinning downwards into my pillow. Eventually a scene appears, and it just happens to be a few feet from where I am sleeping (in my basement).
Luckily, the light is on already so I don’t have to worry about that. And at this point I have what I would call perfect lucidity (a 10 on all the scales in my log), a clarity of mind undiluted by frustration with DCs, extended dreamtime, or anything else. It’s a full transfer of consciousness from waking to sleeping – high level lucidity in the true sense of the word. Unfortunately, this state doesn’t last long. The first thing I see when I enter the scene is 3 white strings hanging from the ceiling (where normally there is one – for turning on the light), which I judge to be odd even at the time. Then I walk a few paces forward and recite my starting line, “This is a dream. This is happening in the here and now. Stay aware and focused and in the moment. Don’t get distracted.” Then I hold up my left hand and look at my fingers. Although I have five, I notice that my middle finger is bent at the joint where it normally could not bend. Curious, I decide to see if I can move it back into place. Amazingly, this action occurs both in the dreamworld and the real world…when I move my left middle finger in the dream I also move it on my sleeping body. It is enough to cause me to awaken.
Without moving then I attempt to DEILD. It takes me a few minutes, but I manage to WILD again. This time I also have the “spinning down through my pillow” sensation. My memory isn’t as sharp here though, as I only vaguely remember appearing somewhere around my house. I remember doing some of my LD prep, like rubbing my hands together, shouting “increase lucidity now!” and focusing in on an object – but I don’t recall exactly where all this takes place, although I think it’s in my backyard. Here I also raise the sun to add light to the scene.
This next part is part speculation based on what I had planned to do in the dream beforehand, but my recall isn’t sufficient to fully claim this all happened (and I need to fill in the plot gap somehow). Anyway, I turn around and use the gate in my backyard to try to summon Morpheus, lord of dreams. I politely ask him to come in through the gate, and he does. I summoned him because I have been having trouble teleporting to a desired location, and thought I could have him take me there and relieve some of the burden on myself. I tell him I want to get to the North Pole so I can get on Santa’s sleigh and complete the DV task of the month. He asks me to grab onto his arm, and I obey. Then both of us begin spinning.
The scene goes black for a while. Then I reemerge in a Christmas-themed waiting room, sans Morpheus. In this room there are many families waiting in one of those windy snake-lines to see Santa. I decide there’s no reason for me to wait, so I use my lucid powers to “toss” people out of my way with a flick of my hand (like magic). I get to the end of the room but don’t see Santa right away. So I say, “Oh Santa, you can come out now” and sure enough he appears. I then say something like “meet me at the sleigh.” I jump through the nearest window to the “tarmac” right outside. I see the landed sleigh right in front of me, with Santa in the reins. It’s a green-colored vehicle of very modern design…sleek curves on an overall oval-shaped sleigh (almost looks like a mini Mon Calamari Cruiser from Star Wars) and no reindeer in sight (it’s motorized, apparently). Worried that he’s going to leave without me, I sprint over to it, jump, and catch on to one of the side guard-rails. It turns out I was just in time, as not a moment later the sleigh takes off and is in the air. I’m still holding on for dear life on a guard-rail bumper thing, but Santa doesn’t seem inclined to invite me to sit shotgun. I actually don’t mind – it’s much more exhilarating this way for me.
We go zooming about the night sky this way for a while, the wind whipping in my face the entire time as we reach incredible speeds. I’m having quite an adrenaline rush. Later, along the way, I have these thoughts that become manifest moments later. First I think about how cool it would be to fly right past the full moon. Then it happens – we are like those silhouettes you always see in Christmas movies of Santa flying past the moon. Then I think about how odd it is that there are no reindeer in front of the sleigh. As soon as I finish this thought, I see two reindeer tethered right there in front. They both turn around and look at me at the same time – I think they even give me a playful wink. Gradually more and more reindeer appear (two at a time) until there is the full contingent.
The scene then goes black and I am in a void for a while. I have the belated realization that I should try spinning, so I do so, but it is slow and awkward and I don’t have a specific destination in mind. Eventually I reappear in a cave. Although it’s not very dark since much light is filtering in from holes in the top, there’s hardly any room to move. It’s extremely claustrophobic, and I feel trapped. In a state of panic, I try to break through the rock in places. It’s a brownish-tan sandstone and flakes off pretty easily with enough willpower on my part, but as soon as I destroy a rock barrier and move onto the next pocket of open space, new rock appears out of nowhere to pin me in. This goes on for many minutes. It’s almost as if some malevolent force is trying to keep me trapped and is teasing me with the prospect of being able to break free from this prison.
After a long struggle I finally succeed in breaking free from the rock-cave-maze to an open pasture. Awaiting my arrival is a young blonde girl. I’m so happy to have escaped that I run up to her and kiss her. She blushes. I try to say something, possibly how happy I am to be free. However, when I move my lips no sound comes out (even though I recognize what I said intellectually). This strange occurrence gets me into professor mode, and I remember about a DV thread speculating about whether there is actually sound in dreams or if it is all in our mind. I decide to test this hypothesis by shouting my statement over and over until it finally comes out as true sound. It takes about 3 or 4 tries until I actually hear my voice, and it is scratchy and awkward, as if appearing only begrudgingly. I’m fascinated, but I also want to see if I can hear the voice of my DCs. I command the girl to say a certain sentence. She clearly doesn’t want to cooperate, resisting my command until I strongly insist she say it. Finally she acquiesces, and I can hear her (though I forget what sentence I commanded her to say). But as soon as she’s done speaking, she begins a harsh transfiguration, morphing into what looks like an ogress, along the lines of Fiona from Shrek. She’s much bigger and angrier, but retains the same silky blonde hair. She starts chasing me and I run, then fly away as fast as I can. When I do get airborne, I once again have a lot of difficulty moving horizontally across the landscape, though I can fly up and down effortlessly (this has become a rather disturbing trend in my LDs recently). Anyway, just as I’m standing in the air gazing out onto the barren, rock-filled landscape below me, the scene fades to black again.
I make a nominal effort at spinning, but it’s good enough; I reappear in a classroom setting, about to take an exam. I lose my lucidity at this point. There are hundreds of people with me in the room, and I instantly feel a lot of pressure. Then I just “know” that this test is for the job application to the Florida Trails Association, strangely enough a job I already got accepted for. Nevertheless I’m panicking and fill out my answers through sheer instinct and gut reaction. The next moment, it seems, we are all gathered to receive our test scores. As I get mine back I am amazed that I only got one answer wrong for a score of 97% or something. I discover that the only person who did better was the guy sitting next to me, my old trails crewmate Dave C, who got a perfect score. Apparently also the scores are all public information, for the snob sitting across from me expresses disbelief at how I could’ve outscored him, considering his superior knowledge from many more years of trail work experience. I just shrug, but he insists that it’s a fluke. Trying to explain myself, I just tell him my method; I tell about how I just visualized a bird’s eye view of the trails for design purposes on this one section. But then Dave stands up for me, telling the other guy that I shouldn’t have to apologize to anyone about my great score…that I earned it.
Then the scene changes again, this time back to my basement. I’ve regained lucidity at this point, but it’s not very strong at all, certainly not as strong as it was earlier. Kind of running out of ideas, I decide to try to find someone to have sex with. I’m not even sure who I have in mind, but I manage to summon a blonde chick who ends up being quite ethereal, flickering in and out of existence. One minute I’m feeling her up, the next she disappears and I am touching empty space. I get frustrated, especially because on top of this I have several FAs in which my brother and his friend come down to the basement and somehow realize what I’ve been up to with the girl. I get embarrassed, trying to cover it up, until I finally awaken for real.
LOG: 12/04/08 – 12/05/08
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 2.5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 600mg GPC, 200mg Mucuna Pruriens, 8mg Galantamine, 400mg Choline (toast to aid digestion), plus 2400mg Piracetam (after dream)
After how many hours of sleep? 4.5
Dreaming when I woke up to take supplements? Yes
WBTB session length (if applicable): 1 hour
Exercises done after taking supplements: Repeating my intentions x2, visualizing the rotating wheel and grasping onto it to pull myself into dream
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? 25 min
Sleep position: on my left
Transition details (if WILD): I had read on the DV forums about someone using the circular motion of the wheel-lever on a fire hydrant as an anchor to grasp onto and pull oneself into the dream. I decided to try and use this method, so when I felt all my other body parts fall asleep, I concentrated on the image. Although I’m a pretty poor visualizer, the grasping motion and consequent rotation of my hand (and body) along with the wheel was very visceral and real, despite the blackness that I saw. At that point it felt like my head was detached from my body, my consciousness was concentrated all in my head, and my head was spinning downwards into my pillow.
Intensity of vibrations, acceleration, or other part of transition: 7
Dream quality: 9
Ability to recall dream: 6
Visual vividness: 8
Tactile vividness: 8
Auditory vividness: 9
Participation level: 9
Lucidity level: 7
DILD or WILD? WILD
Ability to control reasoning: 7
Ability to control emotions: 6
Ability to control will: 8
Physical side effects? Slight stomach grumbling, slight headache and sweat upon awakening
Mental side effects? Intense feeling upon waking.
Lessons or theories: I thought it was fascinating to discover that sounds (at least for me) only truly exist in dreams if I put a lot of conscious effort into hearing them or speaking them. Otherwise, conversations and such are purely telepathic. It was also fascinating to move my dream finger and simultaneously and without conscious effort move my real finger as well. Yay me for completing December’s advanced task of the month too. :banana:
"Sense Party" & "Morpheus's Misdirection"
“Sense Party” [LD]
12/08/08
7:20 – 7:35 a.m.
[WILD; ~ 15 min.]
I have a WILD in which the transition is hard to remember (I think I might have rolled out of my body), but it was quite unremarkable. In any case, at the start of the dream I find myself a few feet away from my sleeping body, in my basement. Unlike my previous WILDs of this nature, there is already a lot of light in the room. I walk a short distance, then remember to do my LD prep. I put a lot of effort into these this time because my goal for this morning is to become as aware as possible with the highest sensory experience. I won’t describe exactly the methods I use because I’ve described them in this journal many times before and it’s basically the same routine.
I then go upstairs and out into my front yard. I am tempted to just start flying but I resist the urge, remembering to focus on maximizing my sensory awareness. I walk over to my neighbor’s yard across the street and climb up the tree not far from the road. I stay in here for a while, trying to truly feel the texture of the bark. I am amazed to notice that the bark is part wood, part metal, almost like the wood is just the outermost layer that has been punctured in places throughout the trunk. While this is happening I begin to feel self-conscious and anti-social, as I notice that there is a party getting started in my neighbor’s garage (whose tree I’m standing in). It’s like a summer picnic/barbecue or something. My dad or brother asks me to get down from the tree and join them at the party.
So I jump off and follow them into the garage. Inside, there’s this long picnic table with a white tablecloth. Michelle L. (my neighbor) insists I have a hot dog. I pick it up, and it looks like a polish sausage wrapped in a bun. Right before I bite into it I have the thought of how fortuitous this is since I wanted to try utilizing all my senses, and here I can try tasting something. However, when I bite into it there is a distinct lack of any taste. I don’t dwell on this long though, because I awaken seconds after biting down. I realize that my real body made the same biting motion – my jaws clamped down the exact same way.
I don’t move and try to DEILD. Luckily, I am successful within a few seconds. I am back in the garage, but farther back now, sitting at the end of the table. I wait for more people to arrive to start the main course, and they do shortly. We all make small talk for a while, then someone pushes a laptop in front of me and opens it. As soon as this happens, I realize I’ve been sitting still for too long…but I’m powerless to change it, as I awaken for good the next moment and I can’t spin my way back into it. I try to DEILD for about 5 minutes but give up when I realize I’m just too hot, my body is too stiff, and I have too much on my mind.
“Morpheus’s Misdirection” [LD]
12/08/08
8:20 a.m. – 9:25 a.m.
[WILD; ~1 hour]
After cooling off and switching positions from the previous dream, I have another WILD. Again the starting details are hazy, but I think I transition to somewhere in my house, probably the basement. I round the corner and look at my hand out of habit, noticing six fingers. As I begin to ascend the stairs to the floor above, I hear this phenomenal orchestral music that I can’t really describe or replicate now…but I’m pretty sure it is completely original, like nothing I’ve ever heard before. The visuals go black and I have to spin to save the dream. Around this point I discover that spinning left instead of right is much faster and more effective (maybe because I’m sleeping on my left?)
I have a nonlucid FA in my brother Alex’s room, a different part of the same house. I’m with my other brother Sam, and we both know we are in the wee hours of the morning and everyone else in the family is sleeping. We talk about LDs or Star Wars or something, then the dream visuals go black again and I spin to save it.
Now I’m in my front yard and fully lucid once more. A pair of girls are walking across the street into our yard and I just know they want to small talk which is what I do not want to do. I quickly skip past them, just saying hi or something, and walk into my next-door neighbor’s yard. There I remember my other goal of doing the DV task of the month – boarding public transportation and seeing where it takes me. I use the corner of my neighbor’s house to say “Oh Morpheus, you can come out now.” Well, he doesn’t come, so I decide to use the traditional expectation method. I round the corner and I see him farther back, but there. As I hoped and expected, he took the form of the Morpheus from the Sandman graphic novels rather than Laurence Fishbourne from the Matrix. He has this form only shortly though, for when he approaches me and I get a better look at him, his body seems to have changed to that of Scott S., and old grade school friend of mine.
I tell him I want to get to the “train station” and he says “follow me,” so I do. Oddly, he walks right back into our backyard, mopes around talking to some other people until finally coming back to me and, surprised at what he learned from the others, wants to know about my internship at Mt. Rainier National Park (like he’s catching up on my life from grade school). I tell him that that was a while ago now, and my mind is focused on my new Florida trails position. He looks impressed. I go up the slide on the jungle gym and as I’m about to slide down, once again the visuals go black and I’m forced to spin to save it.
When I reenter the dream I am more clear-minded; I grab Morpheus/Scott and insist we get on with the train station. We return to the front yard, next to the road. I have the realization that I want to alter my request slightly…someone I talked to along the line informed me of a secret underground hideout underneath the Madison Metro Bus System, from Blount St. to the Capitol (but still public transportation). I point to a sheltered bus stop that somehow appeared right across the road and ask Morpheus if we can use that to get there. He says we’re in the wrong city and to follow him.
He starts walking down Sundown Court (a cul-de-sac in my neighborhood), and the landscape changes as he does. Rather than drab suburban sprawl, I vividly remember an elegant semi-interior walkway with columns on my left. It is a moment of crystal-clear lucidity and awareness, but I keep following Morpheus because I finally think we’re on the right track. At the end of Sundown there’s this swanky café, which we enter. It’s designed with a lot of red and silver, modern architecture. I just “know” that now we’re in Madison. Morpheus seems to know everyone in the establishment. There’s multiple levels, but we go down to the lower one near the register. There’s a group of his friends sitting on a very elevated table on high stools. They seems very friendly and extend this to me, offering me drinks and food (ice cream and the like), but I refuse, impatient to see where this is all going. Morpheus goes around introducing me to more people, and I realize just how big this café is. I remind Morpheus to get on with the bus stop. He begrudgingly agrees to leave the place, but it takes a while for us to do so. As we leave, there is a line formed to get into the place that is at least 50 people deep. Then we get outside and I realize that this restaurant was embedded into a larger building, like University Square or something, in a high-density place like State St. Sadly, before we can get to the bus stop, I awaken for good.
LOG: 12/07/08 - 12/08/08
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 2.5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 600mg GPC, 200mg Mucuna Pruriens, 8mg Galantamine, 400mg Choline (plus pop-tart to aid digestion), 2400mg Piracetam (after dream)
After how many hours of sleep? 5.25
Dreaming when I woke up to take supplements? Yes
WBTB session length (if applicable): 1 hour
Exercises done after taking supplements: Repeating my intentions x2, focusing on the “wheel” a bit
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? 25-30 min
Sleep position: on my left
Transition details (if WILD): OBE-like, pretty unremarkable otherwise (not very intense)
Intensity of vibrations, acceleration, or other part of transition: 2
Dream quality: 9
Ability to recall dream: 6
Visual vividness: 10
Tactile vividness: 9
Auditory vividness: 9
Participation level: 9
Lucidity level: 9
DILD or WILD? WILD
Ability to control reasoning: 8
Ability to control emotions: 9
Ability to control will: 6
Physical side effects? Stomach grumbling, gas
Mental side effects? None
Lessons or theories: This is the second time recently that a dream action has elicited the corresponding action in my physical, sleeping body. I’m not sure exactly what causes this, since the other time it was moving my finger rather than biting into food. Also, remember to spin left instead of right when attempting to save a fading dream…this seems to work much better. Oh, and plan on getting a lot warmer after a dream than when I first fall asleep…if I’m too hot when I awaken it’s a lot harder to DEILD.
Firestarter: Has anyone else done something in a dream that elicited the corresponding action on their actual body? If so, what happened, and why do you think it happened?
Tango Through Gardens [LD]
Hey guys...
I recently downloaded the DreamJournal program that someone in this forum (sorry, forgot who!) created, and am taking advantage of it's "Publish" feature. Therefore the formatting style of this journal has changed to coincide with the program. If you haven't tried this program, I highly suggest you do so! It's a great little piece of software, able to keep track of goals, tags, statistics, and a lot more. Anyway, here is my most recent dream:
19.07.2009
Tango Through Gardens (WILD)
NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID
3:50 - 4:30 a.m. (40 min)
After about ten minutes trying to fall asleep on my back, I shift to my right side. While I was on my back I could feel my extremities fall asleep but my mind was too active to fully make the transition. When it did finally happen, it was more visual than tactile, with dream fragments forming and dissolving until one drew me in.
That one just happens to place me at my childhood Green Bay home. I think I start out upstairs in the blue bathroom. Immediately I remember to do my LD prep, even as I am walking towards the front door. I say the usual "This is a dream. This is happening in the here and now (!) Stay aware and focused and in the moment. Don't get distracted." Then I think I say the "increase lucidity x1000!" and "increase clarity x1000!" lines, but maybe I just think them to myself. In any case, they don't have too much effect but my lucidity level is already like 9/10 - probably the most lucid I have ever been so far.
I get outside on my front lawn and it is nighttime. I take a few steps before remembering to spin a new dreamscape; I plan on going to a beautiful tropical island. So I jump up and do an exhilirating spin in the air, making dozens of revolutions with my body. However, only part of the scene changes - among the neightborhood streets and houses drifts sand and water and rock. But when I rotate my body a bit further, all vestiges of the neighborhood disappear. What's left is a craggy coastline with calm water lapping a sandy shore, though still nighttime. Not as ideal as I hoped, but at least a change from that same old neighborhood. Something jostles my memory: activating all my senses. Before I do anything I basically confirm that with the exception of sight (and possibly sound), none of my other senses are working until I put conscious effort into feeling them. My memory is a little hazy here but I think I go through all of the senses except taste (maybe I try eating sand?). Along the way I focus on little details like the rocks to add further clarity to the dreamscape.
Eventually I get the idea in my head to try to raise the sun to add light to the scene, as, not only is it night, but it's completely cloudy too (though not pitch-black). I try making the motion of lifting up my arms to "summon" the sun, but although this has worked in the past, it fails this time after several concerted attempts.
Next I get the idea of trying to walk on water. I just approach the sea, trying to build up my confidence and expectation, but once again fail. This time it's alright though, because the cool feeling of water on my skin is worth it. I keep walking, through water deeper than my head, after which it becomes swimming. I dive and descend to great depths and at great speed, back and forth, with no need to come up for air. All this is purely tactile, however, as my visuals are completely black. As such, it only lasts maybe half a minute before I have a brief, split-second awakening.
After which I am plunged back into the dream and into a new scene entirely, still very much lucid. This scene is very unfinished, like an artist's work-in-progress, with black spots on the periphery. In fact that's the very feeling I have - like a character in a painting, of which I am co-creator as I walk through it. I start on a balcony overlooking a well-kept garden on a beautiful, sunny spring day. I wander around the bend and find a stunningly gorgeous black-haired girl in a white apron watering plants along the edge of the balcony. I approach her and wordlessly embrace her. The embrace transforms into a sort of dance, a tango, as we explore the garden together with bodies intertwined. The feeling of her body pressed tightly against my own as we lock hands is eupphoric, though it never becomes overtly sexual. Anyway, from the balcony we "float" down to the garden proper below. Constant movement, I remind myself. The scene is fleshed out before our very eyes, as if the master painter is frantically trying to fill in the black spots on his canvas. Beautiful-colored flowers, vines, & trellises emerge, many hanging around white columns. We make a zig-zaggy path for no apparent reason, tangoing all the while. I never directly look at the girl face-to-face through all of this, and although I always feel her body, at times I get the sense that she has become invisible or something. Along the way I make periodic stops to admire a flower or the marble of a column, but even though this adds detail and strength to the scene for a while, it doesn't last forever and the happy moment fades away.
Thus the scene shifts and I find myself once again at my childhood home, this time on the back deck (how hard it is to get away from that damn place in my dreams!) I'm still lucid, though not as high-level as before. Still, I remember to try the Dream Views task of the month of exploding. So I try to summon a bomb directly into my hands. I take them slightly out of my line of sight, then re-emerge with a rough slab of meat, like a steak or something. I conclude that "the bomb must be implanted in the meat and about to go off." So I hold it tight to my chest and sure enough, a moment later there is an explosion-like sound and I am flung dozens of feet off the deck and onto the backyard lawn, lying prone on the ground and feeling pain in my chest from the blast. Even though I pre-visualized and expected to be blown into a thousand tiny pieces, I remain fully put-together. After a few moments of lying there helpless, the scene changes once again.
What follow are a series of short scenes in which I am always lucid, but at declining levels and I can't hold onto the scene(s) for any length of time. Also I only remember fragments. One involves me sitting in the indoor Lolo Hot Springs in Montana, having a conversation with the Baron Vladmir Harkonnen from Dune. In another I'm trying to escape from a building, but before I jump from a window I notice my reflection in the glass and take note of how I look: my face is very faithful, and I have long hair as I am currently sporting (wheras before when I saw my reflection in dreams my hair was much shorter than it actually was at the time). In another fragment I am out in some city at night, hopping from rooftop to rooftop with mega-jumps, but for no apparent reason. At some point during all of this, I awaken for real.
LOG: 07/18/09 - 07/19/09
Supplements (& dosage) taken before bed: 100mg 5-HTP, 2.5mg Melatonin
Supplements taken in morning: 8mg Galantamine, 400mg Choline (Dreamamins), 600mg alpha-GPC, 200mg Mucuna Pruriens
WBTB session length (if applicable): 30 min
Exercises done after taking supplements: Repeating my intentions x2
How long did it take to fall back asleep after taking supplements? 1 hour or more
Sleep position: on my right
DILD or WILD? WILD
Transition details (if WILD): it was more visual than tactile, with dream fragments forming and dissolving until one drew me in.
Dream quality: 8
Ability to recall dream: 8
Lucidity level: 9
Lessons or theories: It seems I'm getting better at remembering to activate all my senses and focus on details. It's totally worth it, and makes my consciousness and the clarity of the dream increase manifold.
Awakening Ancient Spirits
04.11.2009
Awakening Ancient Spirits (DILD)
NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID
8:45 a.m.
http://urbansoulflower.files.wordpre.../08/shaman.jpg
In the first moment I remember I'm in the wilderness on a snowy plain (it's snowing lightly and there's a thin layer of the stuff on the ground). I'm with some others, and we're running from something. I get the feeling that this is set in the past, and that we're trespassing in someone's domain. Our flight is fast and desperate, which unfortunately draws the attention of a nearby bear, once we get into a more forested area. The bear is clearly pissed off and starts mauling some of my companions, but I manage to barely escape.
My luck runs out, however, when a troupe of mounted Indian tribesmen spot me and begin showering me with arrows. Knowing I'm doomed if I keep running, I surrender and am taken prisoner. The bring me back to their lodge, a chalet-like structure with moss insulation that's open to the air around the bottom (just a few inches). It looks like a hybridization of indigenous and Western construction. Here many people from the tribe are gathered around a fire (inside the lodge) and are discussing my fate. I can sort-of hear what they're saying, catching little bits here and there. Stupidly I yell to them to have mercy, to let me go because without Western influence and materials they never could have built this lodge. They aren't paying much attenion to me though.
After a while they lead me back to a room to spend the night. I then go to sleep or at least I imagine I do for a while. When I awaken, I realize that I'm not really bound or anything; unless the door is locked, I can sneak out at any time. So, of course, I test the door and discover that it is in fact unlocked! Quietly I try to sneak through the hallways, but before long I hear noises. I encounter a group of people first, and I'm not sure exactly who they are, but they might be my comrades from the expedition; in any case, they're not Indian. We travel together, all of us apparently wanted to escape this place. But before we can get very far, we hear strange chanting from a voice coming ever closer to us through the halls. Further, we know he's Indian because the language is clearly indigenous. Frantically we scramble to find quick exits or at least hiding places.
At first we are relieved because the man seemed to have passed by without noticing any of us. So we keep on walking, not exactly sure where we are going. Unfortunately, the lodge is pretty convoluted and we end up in the same room as the man chanting (clearly, a powerful shaman). This time he notices us, but other than a stern look does nothing about this discovery. His attention instead is focused on what looks like a cellar in the center of the room we're in. I walk over to take a closer look. Although we can't speak the same language, I somehow just know what within that cellar lies an ancient evil spirit that the shaman is trying to banish. In fact, periodically I hear moaning sounds originate from down there. The shaman knows someone must go down and face the spirit but, despite his best efforts, is visibly afraid to do so. I feeling of guilt washes over me, as I feel it is I who caused this dark spirit to emerge in the first place. Yet right now I cannot bring myself to face it, recoiling back in horror and leaving the room with haste.
I wander around for a while all alone, still looking to find a way out of this place but preoccupied with the scene I just witnessed. Some things happen that I no longer recall. In the next scene I remember, I'm back in the room with the cellar, the shaman, and the evil spirit. Others are there too, and it's as if they we all just waiting for me to return. Now I know I have to go down and face the spirit alone and rectify this whole situation. As I stand right in front of the cellar, I feel a eerily cold stream of air coming directly out from it. The shaman shouts a chant of protection over me, and right before I plunge forward I have a strange feeling of calm and assurance that everything will be fine, a pre-lucid sort of realization.
Then, I open the doors and plunge inside. For the first few seconds I'm just falling in complete darkness until I gently land on some mysterious plane. Darkness is everywhere still, and the moaning of the spirits rushes around my body in gusts. Desperately I flail my arms about, hoping some weapons will materialize from thin air. But soon the sounds and chills of the spirits cease, and I'm left in a perfectly ordinary void. I try shouting back to the shaman and the others, telling them I can't see and thing, but I don't think they can hear me.
After a while a faint point of light appears far above me. A star, perhaps? Soon it's joined by others, and these celestial forces faintly illuminate my setting, which is a fairly ordinary mown lawn at night. At this point I just casually say to myself, "hey, since this is a dream, I might as well enjoy a little flying." As if I already knew that and had chosen to ignore it all this time! My lucidity, however, is extremely low, and all I can think to do (a knee-jerk reaction, really) is to fly straight upwards. I'm even looking right back down at the ground as I ascend this way, essentially floating several thousand feet in the air. I'm surprised I make it as far as I do without falling back, what with the whole staring at the ground thing and all. At any rate, I lose lucidity fairly quickly and although more happens after this (I'm pretty sure I emerge from the cellar and wander about some more in the lodge) I can't recall any of it clearly.
