my decent into fear

so ive been a heavy user of psychedellic drugs in the past, but recently i have been smoking massive amounts of weed, and i now remember why.

im deathly afraid of sleeping

im terrified of my dreams.

to be launched into my own sub-concoiusc is a fate worst thn death in my own opinion.


my art therapist, is making me quit smoking and she tells me my dreamz are going to be more intense and vivid due to the fact of me not smoking

yesterday was the first day of sobriety

and tonight was just about the most terrifiing experience ive had in a while..


i was laying here its now 3:31 it happened at 3:20

i was laying on my stomach undearneathe my covers with a little space open for fresh air to come in

i dont remember the shift but it just happened i opened my eyes and they were hard to open i hardly got them open all the way cause of this low rumbeling and everything was blurry and through the small crack i saw a figure

and i heard a female voice call out

"Andrew, Ive come for you."


and i felt a hand go around my neck as the rumbeling got more and more intense. as it shook my entire existence


and i snapped out of it


i dont wana go back to sleep. :embarrassed:


im scared one of these times, im going to see my attacker, and that has been my biggest fear since a little kid.


waking up with people standing around me


idk what to do =[