Thread: Clockwork Dreamers Journal

01 - 30/05/04 - Changing Scores

- Changing a test with a computer

- Going to my friend George's house to borrow a computer game, Larry is there and he explains how the game has been altered for the better but there are now risks.

02 - 08/06/04 - Home without a room

- I have lots of tobacco in my old bedroom, hidden inside the draw next to my bed. My brother, Liam, finds it and starts smoking.

- I'm going to a party at my friend Christian's house, but i know there are going to be lots of people there who don't like me.

- I'm being shown round a house (a big cube institution, like a hospital or sanitarium) in the centre of the building a room is missing, the door opens up into a perfect cube hollow, through which can be seen the walls of the rooms all around it.

03 - 28/07/04 - The ocean and the end of time

- I am driving around with my friends Gavin and Sam T. We decide to go to the cinema to watch a film we've brought with us (terminator 2 of all things). The manager follows us around and whispers behind Sam's back. This makes me really angry so I turn round and shout at the manager. We leave the cinema - coming out of woolworths should be in the centre of Bury st Edmunds. We meet two girls in town and decide to go to a pub, Sam and Gav dualise into my college friends Will, Tim and Alan. I say we should go to the beach
We are at the beach, my friends and the girls watch from the seawall, I'm stood barefoot on the sands looking out ot sea, the water washing round my ankles. A great big wave passes over and through me.

- I go home and talk to my mother.

- I have to go to a Maths class which is being taught by my old teacher mr. Anthony who is now also coach McGuirk from the cartoon Home Movies. He is illustrating points using lego animals. He wants to know why I was late for his lesson, I say it is because I have a sore throat; he knows I'm lying and seems really dissapointed. He then gets some one from the glass to help him complete Sonic 2, but the game is different, full of shifting patterns of ice.

- I leave the class and am walking down the road to the DIY store 'focus'. I know it is going to be ground zero for Terence Mckenna's Time wave zero - the end of time. Through my own internal monologue I understand the reason I was late for the class is because I'm bad at it and was really scared of looking stupid. In the focus car park I meet another two girls, one of them comes over and asks me if I have seen her hat. I ask her to show me what it looks like - we hold hands close our eyes and try to share our ideas, words are inadequate. She asks me if it worked - I say no but expalin that it felt really nice (I don't think I've ever felt that safe or assured anywhere else). She smiles at me and I ask her if she is going to stay. We sit down, hold hands and wait for the world to end.

04 - 29/07/04 - Dark children

- I'm walking round a bookshop with my friend sam and his older brother James.

- I go to the Newton house, a friend of my mum's from when we used to live in Acton. I have gone to see Katie and Johnathan, the two children who live there (both around my age). I ring the doorbell but can see throught the window that they're both still very young children, they look like they're dressed to go to a funeral.

05 - 09/12/04 - Serenity and Violence in vision

- I buy a nine inch nails single from a shop which is simultaeneously HMV and Virgin in Colchester. Thinking about the music causes me to have visions of serenity and peace intermingled with scenes of intense and disturbing violence. The staff in the shop are obnoxious.

- Walking round Acton (where i used to live) - I am being followed by a little girl who moves in odd disturbing ways (see japanese horror film 'the Grudge').

- When I get back to my old house my parents have redecorated my bedroom and changed all my stuff. I try to tell them it's okay, even though I don't like it, but end up screaming angrily whenever I open my mouth. My parents get really upset. I think it's because I never show them what I like.