Suninmyeyes Dream Journal

[suninmyeyesj85]

This is my first entry and I'm still fairly new to lucid dreaming, however a lucid dream I had today inspired me to learn more and share. Luckily, I found this site, and I'm excited to share. I have had a few lucid dreams in my life but I have never been able to bring them on. They have just come naturally, but I plan on learning. I usually choose to fly once I realize that I am lucid dreaming. I am also known for having very elaborate and vivid dreams. I feel like I could write a movie on some dreams that I have. I usually remember most details about them too. Today: Seeing Myself in the Mirror I have insomnia every month for 1 week, so that was last week. I have been so exhausted lately, so I decided to take a nap yesterday. This dream was different because it went from absolute darkness, like when you first shut your eyes to sleep, to me standing in a room and having this amazing feeling. It felt like I was opening my eyes for the first time. I looked at my hands, down at my feet and my surroundings. I realized that I was lucid dreaming and I became very excited that I had control. My next thought was to do something I don't normally get to do in dreams. Like I said before, I usually choose to fly, but this time I wanted to do something different. I decided to look at myself in the mirror because this is something I have never experienced before in my dream. I have never really seen myself in a dream. I wasn't familiar with my surroundings, I had never been in the room before, but it was an empty apartment so I knew there had to be a bathroom. I found a bathroom, and looked into the mirror. Everything looked the same except my eyes and teeth. I am Asian, and my eyes are dark brown but in my dream my eyes looked like I had blue contacts covering them or even what blind people's eyes look like or dead people. It looked like a blue sheath over my eyes. I smiled at first because I thought this looked kinda cool, but then I saw my teeth. I was horrified to see my teeth! They were brown and almost looked like toe nails...gross...I know! I was so horrified that I almost woke up. It was weird because my surroundings began to fade to black but I concentrated on staying. I don't know how I did it, but it worked. I decided to try to change my appearance by giving myself bigger breasts, ( I was experimenting...okay). This was a failed experiement because I only scared myself more. They were like stones/silly puddy. When I would try to mold them they would turn rock solid and look very distorted...this really upset me. I made the decision to never look at myself in the mirror again while sleeping, and decided I was reading to start flying. I began to get the sense that I was loosing my lucid dreaming and felt like my dream was real so I wanted to take advantage of flying. It was funny because it felt so realistic in this apartment that when I did my usual run three times and jump I landed on the carpeted floor. I felt really silly and decided to concentrate a little more. This second time I floated a bit out the window. The scenery changed and disturbed my dream. I then began to dream of my own apartment and lost my lucid dream. I dreamed that my fiance came home early and found me in bed napping. I had a conversation with him and went back to sleep, but this was in my dream. I often dream of dreaming in my dreams... I think I will try to make an attempt to lucid dream again. I know that yesterday I kept going in and out of it, like turning on the lamps that fade in and out. I have a feeling why I would appear that way in my dream though. This is my take on it at least. I have trouble accepting the way I look. I have always considered getting colored contacts just for fun because I get bored of my brown eyes. I also have always hated my teeth. You can also guess that I'm smaller in the chest area and have troubles accepting this. I think my brain is trying to tell me to let it go, that changing myself will only make myself look worse and that I'm fine how I am. I think I tried to subconsciously scare myself out of changing myself, lol.

[Darkmatters]

Hi, and welcome to Dreamviews!! Sounds like you're a pretty good lucid dreamer. As you look around the site you'll start to see that some of the things that happened to you are actually very common. If you haven't yet, you ought to take a look at the tutorials section when you get a chance. Example... it's pretty much a given... if you look in a mirror you'll never look quite right. Something will always be distorted. Also, when you say you dream about dreaming... at least when you dream you actually wake up... that's what's called a false awakening, and if you learn to always do reality checks when you wake up, it can be used to kick off lucidity. Check the tutorials for for reality checks too. Also, if you're interested in learning about lucid dreaming, there's no better resource than Stephan LaBerge's amazing book Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming. Glad to see you're making a dream journal.. it's a great way to improve your dream recall, which is step 1 in getting lucid (sounds like you're well past step 1 already though, but a dream journal is still a great idea... and besides, then we get to peek in on your dream world!)

[suninmyeyesj85]

I was a bit restless last night therefor I didn't have an easy time falling asleep. I know had a few dreams, none were lucid. I barely remember the dream. I know it was pretty realistic. I decided since I really don't have enough to write about last nights dream, I will write about a dream that really "shook" me up. I've never had a dream like it and I have never felt the emotions I felt in my dream ever in my life. The Dream: (At the time of this dream I was dating my fiance, and we were going through some rough patches in our relationship) It began at my family's home and I was sitting at the computer. I felt aggravated or annoyed but I couldn't tell why. I knew someone else was in the other room and I was angry with them. A small child came up to me at this point and placed their hand on my shoulder. He said, "Mommy, I'm so scared you are sick..." (I don't have children). I then awoke in a hospital with my family surrounding me. They were all crying, and I realized I couldn't speak or move. Then I noticed I could see myself and I was in a way, hovering over my body. I had bandages wrapped around my head. My boyfriend was sobbing and holding my hand. I wanted to stay with my family and let them know that I was still there, but I was pulled to another room. This room was dark, and had chamber in the middle of it. I floated into the chamber where the doors locked me inside. I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but I was in this chamber for only a few seconds. When the 2nd door opened and I floated into the next room. This room was a great hall but again it was dark. The only light shining through was coming from a door where there was a line of people standing to get in. They were all wearing hospital gowns. No one spoke and no one noticed me. I was curious about this door but there were other doors too. I remember trying to get in line for the door but I was pulled again towards another door that was very dark. I decided to open the door but on the other side was pitch blackness. I wanted to shut the door and go in the line of people but someone pushed me into the darkness and I began falling. I couldn't see where I was falling but suddenly a bright light blinded me. I began to see images of different scenes flashing in front of me. I remember seeing scenes of a lake with birds, a desert, and other natural scenes. I also so scenes that I had never seen in my life, things that were so beautiful that I don't know how to describe them. During this time I was feeling emotions that I can't describe, that felt so wonderful and new. Theses scenes kept flashing faster and faster then suddenly stopped. I was sitting on a bench at a park watching children playing on the playground. I noticed the same child from the beginning playing on it. Then I felt someone squeeze my hand. It was my boyfriend and he looked me in the eyes smiling and said, "Everything is going to turn out fine." Then I woke up sobbing and once again feeling things I couldn't describe. It might not sound like this dream was crazy, or different but for some reason this dream felt so real to me it was frightening. I had feelings like it was crossed between a nightmare and a wonderful dream. This dream bothered me for days. A year later, I was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes and I was no longer with my boyfriend. However, when I was at the hospital, he was the only one that was there for me and we are now living together and getting married in May... I almost felt like my dream was telling me something about the future, or even reassuring me. I know that I probably died in my dream, but was lead to a 2nd chance at life or something when I was pushed through the door. I almost feel like I went through time or something to reach the end where I was at the park. When I was at the park I had this feeling like everything that happened to me before (the negative feelings) never had happened. I felt at peace. What would really freak me out someday is if that kid turns out to look exactly like my own, haha. Most likely not though!

[suninmyeyesj85]

18.02.2010 Losing Dreams (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I haven't been able to remember any of my dreams lately. I remember bits and pieces and this is abnormal for me. I usually remember almost every detail in my dreams. Lately they have been pretty realistic, from what I know. For instance, a few days ago I dreamt that I was buying a car. Tonight, I will work on my lucid dreams. I will meditate and try to control my dream. However, the other night, I almost felt like I was falling into my dream world, but then my parent's dog decided to poop in my room...(I was visiting my parents and I think I wasn't dreaming well because the room wasn't familiar and the bed was extremely uncomfertable) I'm back at home now so I feel like falling asleep will be easier for me. I will also keep a notebook and pen by my bed so I can try and write down my dreams while they're still fresh in my memory. Though I did this in High School I long time ago and I couldn't read anything I wrote because I wrote with my eyes closed...or I would still forget and have no idea what that dream meant. I remember one time I wrote something down and thought it was so important. But all day, I couldn't remember a thing about that dream and why those words were improtant...LOL.

[suninmyeyesj85]

19.02.2010 Failed Lucid (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was so close last night, I could feel it. As I was saying my mantra I almost felt like I was getting pulled into the dream. My body felt numb, or almost non existent. Then I heard some car alarm outside my window and it disturbed everything I did remember some bits and pieces of a dream I had lastnight, but it was non lucid... I was on stage with a variety of people from college and high school that play a music instrument. I had my violin and we were walking around with our instruments. I saw a few familiar faces and even talked to them. Then for some reason our teacher wanted us to form a huge circle and walk around. I lost my violin bow and kept searching for it on the ground. There were a few other bows on the ground too. Some where nicer and some where in terrible shape. I picked up a very nice bow, thought about keeping it, but decided that was wrong. However, everyone else was picking up their bows and searching for them. There were only 3 left. I looked at all them and they weren't my own. So I chose the nicest one, hoping someone wouldn't rush over to me saying I stole their bow. In another dream I was talking to a stranger, I had never seen this person before, but he was talking to me about different movies. I don't remember the rest of my dreams sadly. I think it's odd that I can dream up different characters in my dream, like the stranger I was talking to. Or they many different students that were on stage with me. I know I recognized only a few, but how can my brain think up of 20-30 other students?

[suninmyeyesj85]

23.02.2010 Name (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I finally had a bit of a lucid dream. I think I've been forgetting my dreams lately because I have had so many in a night that they get jumbled up and it's hard to remember many. Plus they're usually long and vivid. I know I was having a nighmare before the lucid dream: Nightmare: My family and I were locked in our house but my dad wasn't there. There was some kind of threat going on, maybe the end of the world or something but I know we made sure all the doors were locked and no one was to come in. My dad was the only one that wasn't home, so we waited for him anxiously. Before he got home, this family that looked pretty beat up (poor) pulled into our drive way begging to come into our house. My mom said no because they could be the bad ones, I don't know what this meant but she could sense that there was something off about them. My dad arrived as they were pleading through the front door window. We got worried because somehow we had to let my dad in but not the others. We opened the garage door and immeditatly the strangers ran to the garage. My dad dissappeared for a bit, it's like my dream forgot about that problem. The father of the stranger family made his wife and child stay in the their car. She looked scared of him so she obeyed him. He threatened to hurt us. We somehow got him out of the house, with a fight, but I don't remember how... He was very angry at us and before they left, he took a bottle with gasoline and a flame and threw at at our front door. It went through a window and exploded, but we were prepared. I took a blanket and smothered it while my mother extinguished it. We were worried he would come back, but then I guess the real threat came. It was Michael Meyers, or whatever that stabbing guy is from the movies...lol. He was running around our house trying to get in. My dream kinda transformed to where it was just me. I also remember some wild insane horse running around our house trying to get in. We were throwing things at it to scare it away. There was a point where he was close to getting me. I locked myself in the room and wanted to escape. I suddenly felt this feeling of clarity and felt like I was actually in the dream more than just watching like a movie. Then I opened the window and flew out... Escape:I realized I was dreaming and decided a nightmare wasn't what I wanted. I flew to another house, where it was day time. The walls were white and the carpet was pink. I guess my head just made this place up because I've never seen it. All I know was that I was super excited I was in control and that the nightmare was over. Of course there had to be another mirror, but this time I was prepared. I didn't have the same deformity. My nose kinda had some weird tassle on it...like elf boots? Lol...I didn't worry though because I knew I was dreaming. I also remembered that one of the goals on here was to try and look at my shadow. Which I could see it! Except it never changed no matter what angle the light was. It was infront of me on the ground. I kept moving myself or the lamp to try to get it to move around but it just stayed in one place. I guess I shouldn't have messed around doing silly things like this because I woke up Trying to Remember:I fell back to sleep, and was very excited I had a lucid dream and didn't want to forget it. I kept having dreams of actually writing this journal about my dream but each time where it came to the part where I was about to write it I would get distracted. The last one I can remember I began writing about a totally different dream that didn't even exist. In fact, I was writing the dream as I had it! I typed that I was on a beach with a really hot Korean guy and I looked up and I was at a beach and this hot Korean guy was smiling at me. But then I would remember that this wasn't the dream I wanted to remember and then partially wake up. Ofcourse there is more to these dreams but I couldn't remember every detail of them. Plus there were other dreams, but these were the ones that I could remember.Maybe the nightmare had to do with something like I'm afraid to let something in my life. Because 3 different things tried to get into the house, the stranger family, the insane horse, and the serial killer. All kinda crazy too. Maybe I'm not allowing chaos to enter my life. That's my thought for now on that. With the hot Korean, that just happened because I've been watching Korean Love Drama's and there are some very attractive guys on there