Justin's lucidity log

I normally keep a dream journal the old fashioned way with a notebook and pencil next to my bed. I have done it off and on for the last 15 years (more off than on). My plan is to transfer my dreams from my notebook to here as time allows. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

A quick history of my lucid past...

I stumbled into lucid dreaming in 1995 while keeping a dream journal to pass the time while at sea in the Navy. I didn't realize it, but I was setting myself up to have lucid dreams. The first lucid dream that I had absolutely blew my mind. I was having a nightmare in which I was on a dark and gloomy boardwalk along the ocean. A creepy clown on a unicycle was riding toward me. The level of his evilness forced me to question what was going on. That is when I realized that I was dreaming. The scene immediately changed. I found myself running over green rolling hills among the bluest skies that I could imagine. I began to run so fast that I took off in flight. I flew around with amazement filling my every thought. It lasted for a good 15 minutes or so.

For the 2 years that followed, I continued to keep a dream journal... and the lucid dreams continued. I began to experience sleep paralysis more and more. Knowing nothing about sleep paralysis, I was petrified by the experiences. I would often get stuck in a cycle of sleep paralysis and false awakenings that seemed to last forever. With one such experience, I finally gave up and just opted to let whatever was going to happen... happen. I immediately rose out of my body and began zooming through a tunnel. Elated to have broken the cycle, I decided that I would go find God. That is a story for another time though :)

I stopped keeping a dream journal after the navy and the sleep paralysis and lucid dreaming slowly tapered off. I saw sleep paralysis as a nasty side effect of lucid dreaming. I continued to have lucid dreams and sleep paralysis off and on over the years, unfortunately more sleep paralysis. I eventually began researching sleep paralysis which eased the unpleasantness of the experience to some degree. One night about a year ago, I happened across a Discovery channel special in which Steven Laberge was talking about the Novadreamer mask. Seeing this resparked my interest in lucid dreaming. Since, I have read Laberge's books and spent some time browsing the internet for lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis information.

So, here I am on dreamviews. Since my first lucid dream in 1995, I have had over 40 lucid dreams and well over 100 sleep paralysis experiences. I have been keeping a detailed dream journal over the last month (Feb 2010). By looking at my current dream log and some of my old ones, I have been able to come up with some very obvious dream signs:

Dream Signs:

1. Forms of transportion: Cars, truck, vans, boats, ships, etc. I had not clue until taking a close look back on my journals. About 90% of my dreams include some form of transportation. Often I am driving or riding. Sometimes the mode of transportation is just part of the dream, but it is clearly a common theme.

2. Water: About 80% of my dreams include water in some form. Some of my most memorable dreams have included rain, oceans, swimming pools, flooded rooms, snow, etc.

3. Animals: Somewhere around 70% of my dreams include an animal or animals. Often the animal is hurt or disfigured. Other times the animal is simply part of the dream.

4. Focus: This one is a bit difficult to explain, but is has been a common one in causing me to become lucid. This normally happens when I have focused my attention on something in the same way that you would move closer to an object or device to get a better look. A few examples: I am unrolling a roll of toilet paper, but it just isn't working correctly. I move in closer and the toilet paper is dirty; My finger is stuck in an escalator. I move in closer and my finger isn't stuck at all... then it is... then it isn't; I move in to get a better look at the trim of a car I am buying. The color of the car keeps changing and the trim starts to fall off as I touch it.

5. Women's faces: This is somewhat similar to the above dream sign in that my focus is on the woman's face. There is always direct eye contact and the woman's beauty or smile are normally breathtaking. Looking back, it is almost like they are looking at me thinking, "you are dreaming dipsh!t!"

6. Watching a screen: This one isn't as common as the one's above, but still occurs fairly frequently. I am often watching a screen of some type... TV, computer, iPod, etc. Of course the screen is doing something or showing something that it normally would not. Examples: watching a movie on the computer and the person suddenly starts talking to me as if they can see me; an iPod that has random numbers and symbols flashing one it.

7. People that I haven't seen in years: This seems to happen in many dreams, but is hard to categorize. It can be old friends from high school, family members that I haven't seen for years, etc.

8. Intense fear: This does not occur very often, but has caused lucidity several times.

A few that don't occur very frequently, but are worthy of noting: spiders, bathrooms, and fighting or sparing (jiu jitsu).

My goals are fairly simple at this point. I want to increase my lucid dreams via DILD and MILD techniques. I also want to work through my fear of sleep paralysis so that eventually I can use it as a tool for lucid dreaming.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID SLEEP PARALYSIS

Feb 24, 2010

There was a car that pulled into the dirt driveway on the far side of our house. There was already a few cars parked there. It was a bunch of guys (25-30 years old) gathering there. It was not a totally threatening feeling, but a bit suspicious. At some point later, one of the guys was in my house. I think I let one of them in to explain why they were there. They had some sort of a plan to maybe convince us of something (cult like). I could not get him to leave and we ended up fighting. The fight transformed into a Jiu Jistu match of sorts. He wasn't really doing much which surprised me. I took his back and started punching him in his kidneys over and over. He was saying, "ouch" and things like, "ooh, good one". It was more like we were practicing MMA while not really liking each other. I finailly hyperextended his elbow until it popped. He somewhat calmly said, "hey, you broke my arm". I kept waiting for him to go ballistic and attack me, but he never did. I either threw him out or he went back outside. I was looking out the kids' window. My daughter had a flashlight. I kept trying to get her to turn it off so I could see out the window. There were about 30 people outside the house now, just sort of hanging out and gathering. I knew that they were there for us, but I didn't know why. All the doors were locked, but I had a feeling that I would see somebody in the house soon. I grabbed a phone and dialed 911 in the kids' bathroom. The reception was bad so I moved into my son's room. Suddenly 3 people came into my daughters room. I though to myself that it must just be a realtor showing our house to a man and wife. The man was a little too excited to meet and see me when he shook my hand. I started to get suspicious. I went into another room where my wife was and asked her if she had called 911. She said no in a way that implied she knew she should have. I started to dial it again. The man said, "I don't think you need to do that." It all escilated a bit and I ended up hitting him on the head with the phone. He stayed calm and was still smiling in an eerie way. As he started moving toward me, he no longer had a body... just a head and a right hand. His face and hand were brightly illuminated (very clear and crisp).

The sudden fear that I felt caused me to realized that I was dreaming. It has been a while since having a lucid dream and my excitement kicked me into sleep paralysis. I stayed calm and tried to keep my head. The experience was normal to this point: I could see a grayish version of the room, I knew exactly how my body was positioned in bed, there were voices around me, whispers, and footsteps. It was eerie as usual, but it has happened so many times now that I wasn't too worried. The more I relaxed, the louder and more numerous the sounds and voices became. The audio became very intense and turned into a buzzing sound until it all reached some sort of pentacle. I felt like I was hearing the audio from the countless neurons firing off in my brain. I lifted out of my sleeping body and began zooming though a tunnel. I had experienced the tunnel once before via sleep paralysis, and this experience was the same. I was relieved to be free of the sleep paralysis and excited to be on my way to a possible lucid dream. It was cut short however, and I found myself back in bed once again paralyzed. I tried to relax again and the process slowly started to happen again. I seemed to be slipping in and out of the threshold. At one point, it seemed like I could see out of my physical eyes. My body felt like it was jolting, though I don't believe that it actually was. I was lying in the same position in bed that I normally am when I wake up from sleep paralysis: on my back, one foot crossed over the other, arms crossed making an X shape across my chest. It reminds me of a vampire or coffin position. Eventually, I was able to open my eyes and wake up.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID SLEEP PARALYSIS

March 6, 2010


DREAM 1

Was at my sister and brother-in-law's "house". They did not live there any more or were in the process of moving out. There was a rock formation in the floor with water in it. It led to some underwater rock cave of some sort. My brother-in-law and my nephew dove in and diapered (to the underwater cave).

Sometime later, I was back at the house. Only my nephew and daughter were there with me this time. We were there to get something I think. The kids were climbing around on some bunk beds and the rock formation. I kept having to tell them to get down or to be careful.

...I was sitting in a van with some kids and my cousin (haven't seen her in years). My cousin was younger (23 or so) and less done up than usual. She was being friendly, but seemed a bit nervous. I was showing her movies on my flip camera that I had taken at the house mentioned above. Two of the kids in the van came up front to watch the videos too. I said, "let me just make sure I don't show you the inappropriate ones." I started one video.. it was a video of some creepy being/man screaming as he was being killed. Oops, not that one. I skipped to the next one. It was of some huge dark and evil dragon monster coming at the screen. Oops, not that one either. I skipped to the next one. It was of a fish swimming in the water of the rock formation at the house. I looked to the kids and said, "pretty cool huh?" When I looked back at the screen, the fish was not swimming in the water anymore, but was now swimming around the room of the house (still watching this on the screen). It confused me a bit, but I validated it somehow. I was focused in on the fish at one point and it had taken a different shape. I looked more like a cross between a squid and a fish now. I validated it by saying something like, "it's real.. well it's real computer animation I mean, but it's real."

At one point, I was reaching back in the van and bumped my cousins leg. She took it the wrong, got nervous and moved her leg. I said, "geeze, take it easy." She smiled and moved back.

Later, I was at a house with my cousin from the van and another girl cousin. it was some sort of family reunion. We were just talking and joking around on the couch.

That is all I can remember from that one.

DREAM 2

I was on a motorcycle on my way to Jiu Jitsu. It was either raining or had been raining and was still cloudy. I was parking the motorcycle around the back of the building. A small white van pulled up with two guys in it. They said something to me in dream jabber about looking for me and beating me up. They got out of the van. They were both wearing helmets for some reason. I took my helmet off and started hitting one of the guys in the head/face with it. I was on my back at one point using my open guard (Jiu Jistu) to keep them back. Eventually, I got away and went inside the Jiu Jitsu studio (did not look the same). I knew the guys would follow me in, so i started looking for my instructor to warn him. I could not find him, but some other guy (instructor too?) confronted them as they came in and made them leave. I went out to my motorcycle to leave later on. Now it was raining. I was walking with somebody. He noticed the two guys. I heard a loud noise and the guy walking with me said, "ohhh man." I looked and one of the two van guys had been sucked down a storm drain along the curb. The other guy was trying to pull his buddy out but was sucked in as well. I thought about helping them for a split second, but decided just to keep walking to my motorcycle. For some reason I had two helmets with me. One was mine and one belonged to one of the van guys. I could not remember which one was mine, so I just chose one and tossed the other one in front of their van. The van guys were starting to get out of the storm drain, so I hurried on my motorcycle. It was more of a scooter now. I could not figure out how to start it. I kept flipping switches and pushing buttons, but I just could not remember how to do it. I wasn't panicked at this point, just confused by not being able to start it. I looked down at the scooter and realized that it also had peddles. I started peddling through alleyways and eventually ended up inside a huge block building. I kept going deeper and deeper into it. I ended up in some huge area where I could tell somebody was living. A girl came sliding across the concrete floor. She had put butter on the floor and was just sliding around and enjoying it. I was surprised to see that it was Leslie, a girl that from elementary and high school. She was surprised and happy to see me and said, "Hey, what are you doing here?" I'm not sure if I responded. I started looking around the huge room. It was apparently her art studio. There were paintings and works in progress all over the walls. One one wall, there was an arrangement of candles inset into the block wall. It was about 15' by 15'. Some of the candles were burning upside down. I really wanted to hang out and talk with her, but I woke up.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID SLEEP PARALYSIS

March 7, 2010

I was with a friend from elementary school (Brandon). We were outside his house that he lived in when we were young. He was apparently into fixing up cars. There were a couple of nice hot rods by his garage.

I think we went up the street to check out some cars that he wanted to purchase. I started looking at some broke down Cadillac. Totally not my style, but I kept checking it out for some reason. I starting thinking that maybe with the right colors, it could be a pretty slick looking car.

At some point later, I was driving the car down the street to my friends house. I guess I bought it. One of the tires was flat and I was just cruising along on the rim. I remember seeing a close up of the wheel while I was in the car (obviously impossible). the tire was still on the rim, but was still flat and very strange looking. I decided that it was on good enough for me to see how much power the broke down Cadillac had. I floored it and the tires started spinning like mad. I started thinking that with some paint and interior work, the car would be great after all. Of course the look of the car and the colors kept changing and were different at various times, but unfortunately I did not pick up on it.

I had a long dream before this one, but lost it after getting out of bed. Maybe it will come to me later.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID SLEEP PARALYSIS

March 9, 2010

Pretty boring dream with a few dreamsigns, but I had some time so decided to transfer it here.

I was in some other state visiting family. Maybe Oregon. At one point I was at a house meeting and hanging out with Shania Twain. She looked like Sandra Bullock though. Whatever... Sometime later, I was driving down the road and passing her house. I looked for her red car to be parked outside, but it wasn't. The streets and homes were very quiet and empty; as if summer break in a vacation town was over and everybody had gone back home.

Later, I was at a lake fooling around with some small inflatable raft. Two young boys came along around dusk. Bill Paxton was sitting in a ski boat close by. We both saw the boys coming and sort of had the same though that they were going to start asking either of us if they could play with our water toys. He aimed them in my direction before I could suggest that they go see him. I guess neither of us wanted to share :P

It was dark outside now and some of my wife's relatives drove up in a boat to say goodbye. It seemed like a family reunion was coming to and end.

There was a dream before this earlier in the night, but I could not keep my eyes open to write it down. Bummer, it HAD to have been more exciting than this one.

I'm in no rush to get to my next LD and don't want to over think it, but I do need to take another proactive step.

My plan is pretty simple:

-For one week I will do a reality check every time I drive, ride, or come in close contact with any mode of transportation (including my actual truck and wife's car).

-Each morning, I will draw the letter T (for transportation) on the back of my right hand with a sharpie as a reminder to do the reality check.

-I will ask myself if I am dreaming, take a good look at my surroundings, and preform two of the following three checks:

1.View a clock, radio display, or writing in/on the vehicle. Do a double check to ensure that the information in question does not change.

2.Attempt to push my finger through my hand.

3.Make a small jump and attempt to fly or float.

Of course any other time it occurs to me to preform a reality check, I will then as well. After one week I will either move on to water RC's or do both transportation and water together. I'll just have to see how this week goes first.

That is all. Cary on.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID SLEEP PARALYSIS

March 9, 2010

Dreaming is becoming more familiar to my sleeping brain again. I've kept a solid journal in my notebook for 5 weeks now. I stop during the day as I have time to read around the DV forums or to reread sections of LaBerge's book. Well, my dream last night felt similar to the dreams that I was having when I first started keeping a journal and started having lucid dreams. Like the habit of doing reality checks being carried over into the dream state... having the subject of lucid dreaming on my mind carries over into the dream state as well. I sense a wave of lucids coming my way in the near future.


The beginning of the dream was pretty uneventful and did not contain any memorable dreamsigns. I was staying at somebodies house. It was some sort of vacation. My mom was there as well. I don't think that my wife and kids were though. We all went to bed that night. The next day, my mom got her belongings together and left to head home. I got ready as well and left a bit later. I found myself driving amidst a picturesque city scene. The driving slowly turned into flying. As I thought about what I might see next, the scene just slowly changed into that. At one point I had the thought that I would be going over a bridge and suddenly, I was flying over a large bridge. I remember thinking for a brief moment that it was similar to flying in a lucid dream. :doh: I had to fill out some paperwork in this city while I was there, so I landed and walked into some building. I met a young woman (20 - 30) at the front window. She was expecting me and had a pile of paperwork ready for me to fill out. I filled out a few lines, though I don't recall actually seeing what I wrote. She said to leave the rest blank. I handed it back to here and she held it for a moment and then handed it back. She had magically filled out the rest. I remember thinking that they must have figured out a way to auto fill forms now like what occurs on the internet. She asked me why I had a black T on my hand (see above post). I asked her if she knew what lucid dreaming was :roll: She perked up and started to tell me that she had experienced many lucid dreams. I started to ask here if she was on any of the lucid dreaming forums online. I tried to think of the names of the few that are out there, but could not come up with any... not even dreamviews. She said that she wasn't anyway. Later we were sitting on a bench outside of the building still working on the paperwork. I was surprised to see my mom walk up. I could tell that she had waited before leaving town to make sure that I didn't forget to stop and fill out the paperwork. The girl kept slipping off the bench somehow. At one point, she stood up and there was a very thin piece of wood (about 7" x 4" x 1/8") under her. I kept adjusting it thinking that it was causing her to slide off. She insisted that she needed to sit on my leg. I finally let her and the falling problems stopped. The dream ended somewhere after that.



I laid in bed for a bit going over the dream. I felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep and tried to hold still and hang on to my consciousness as I drifted. I started to feel my body vibrate and could hear a soft buzzing sound. I was pretty sure that I was headed toward SP. I hung on as long as I could. I must have fallen asleep though because I was woken up by my alarm about an hour later as I was partway into a regular dream.

So writing "T" on my hand did more than help me remember to do reality checks with transportation. I was at a birthday party for my nephew and was asked 3 times what it was for. Later at home my wife asked the same. So I will add to my above plan to do reality checks anytime somebody notices the T.

Dream recall was lacking this last week (50% or so). Now that the break is over, I will be back to my normal schedule. For this week, I'm going to write a "T" for transportation and a "W" for water on my hand(s)... and do reality checks for both.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID SLEEP PARALYSIS

April 7, 2010

So, all the reality checking and writing on my hand paid off... at least a little. Things have been overly busy lately and I have not been writing in my dream journal and have had little dream recall. I still ended up having a LD last night though. It was the first time that I have ever completed a reality check in a dream.


I was looking in a bathroom mirror. My face had several bumps on it (like small boils). I was pulling something out of one of them on the side of my jaw with some tweezers. Strands of gauze or tissue kept coming out. More and more kept coming out and I started to realize that it was a bit strange. I realized that it would be a good time to do a reality check. I remember thinking that I surely wasn't dreaming but I would go through the motions anyway. I attempted to push my finger through my hand... and it went straight through. :shock:



I started to leap right up and start flying, but reminded myself to stay calm so that I did not loose it. I started floating and felt myself slipping into SP. I remembered to try the spinning method to hang onto the LD. It worked and I found myself spinning through empty space. Whenever I stopped spinning, I felt myself slipping into SP, so I kept spinning. I have been pretty low on sleep so my recall has been slim. I'm not sure if I ended up saving this LD or if I had another LD later in the night, but I remember that at some point I was lucid and took off flying through a night sky. Not sure how long that lasted. At another point (not exactly sure when), I was lucid while walking with my wife. I remember thinking how crazy it was that I was dreaming and yet walking next to my wife as a DC. I was aware of the fact that it was not actually her of course, but for the fun of it I started to explain to her that I was dreaming and that she was in my dream. I was cracking up inside that she gave me the same blank stare that I get in waking life when I ramble on about lucid dreaming.


So it was all a success in terms of doing my first reality check while dreaming and being lucid 2 or 3 different times. The only bummer is that my recall is fuzzy for much of it from being out of practice and a bit under rested. The lucid experiences were not as vivid as in the past because of it, but fun all the same.