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I GENESIS

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07.07.2009 Pest-Eating Fish (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am in an automobile, sitting in the passenger seat. My friend Hannah is at the wheel. We are cruising down a six-lane highway that is turning to start an ascent into the hills. The highway reminds me of the roadways near the Mohawk Valley. Passing by us are all trees. Behind us is some sort of city. All I know is that we are leaving the city; I am not certain for how long. Hannah starts talking to me about a place just off of the nearest exit. She asks if I want to go see it, It sounds good so I am down. Hannah turns off into the exit ramp and then makes a few turns and we enter a park area. Off of the driver side of the car I see a stream. Hannah drives down to the end of a dirt road and parks in the stones of the river bed. I step out, it is sunny and humid. I am standing on the stony river bank and bugs are flying around my head. I follow hannah further down the bank. There is a black hose that trails horizontally down the bank until it meets the water. Hannah stops at the end of the bank and we find what she was talking about. Hovering above the stones, eating the many bugs flying in the air, are these palm-sized fish. They dart around catching the bugs in their mouths. One flies over to me and starts softly bumping into to my forehead. I try to shoo it away but everytime i hit the fish the fish recovers and continues. I realize the fish is actually eating the bugs that are flying around my head. I leave it alone and continue to watch the other fish.

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08.07.2009 Reunion Susan (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am in the painting studio on campus. the lights are off so the only light in the room comes from the windows. i am sitting in the corner my the cubbies at a computer. Noone else is around because school has not started yet. In my seat, I look up above the computer and i find a tray attached to the walls. In the tray there are cigarettes, about four of them to be exact. when i thumb through them i notice that on the filters, names have been written. I see names I know like Jesse and Kim. Then I see mine. I assume the names mean the cigarettes belong to the person written. I take mine out and think "good, i needed a smoke anyway". but as i bring the cigarette down to me, it becomes larger until it is not a cigarette but a package. I unroll the package and i find two things. The first, is a puddle of oil paint, in a specific color - a pale gray/green. The second is a tube of something called "composite medium" the tube cap fell off so i take my thumb and feel the greasy substance. I realize this was the medium i asked my professor, Mike, to let me try and that these packages were left by him for students. I am grateful that he remembered and that he gave me a whole tube! I listen, and I hear someone else in the nextdoor studio - someone typing on a computer and talking on their phone. I realize it is my good friend Susan.. as she's the only one who would be in the studio this early. I slowly walk over to the nextdoor studio, knowing sure she'll be excited to see me, as I her. When I find her she is on her phone and she softly says "Hi, Erich" .. a little less excited then I imagined, but I put it past me. She is talking to a friend on the phone, she says "Hey (insert girl name), erich just showed up so I think i'm going to talk to him for a little bit" she gets off the phone but walks around busy, we don't exchange much words. i don't even get a hug! there is someone else her. I big guy, dressed in black. He is with Susan but i do not understand why. Susan is near her studio space and the man puts his big hand on her shoulder and says something, Susan acknowledges him.

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09.07.2009 Heather for Help (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am working at the grocery store today, it is very busy. A woman comes down to my register with a parcel from the pharmacy. Having never transacted something from the pharmacy I was confused. I inserted the piece of paper in to the check converter, but an error message popped up on the monitor. I decided to excuse myself and find someone from the pharmacy to help me. Heather was there, but she was about to leave so I had to catch her. I found her in the floral department. I went up to her and told her about my problem with the computer and she came over and showed me what to do. She was wearing her light blue jacket, that she wears everyday. I thanked her and went back on register. I remember her saying her cheerful "yup!" as she went back to floral. Heather came down my aisle later. She said goodbye to me as before she left for the door she turned around and said, "would you like to hang out later?" then she continued "with me and jason?" I already knew who jason was but i cocked my head and asked "jason?" "My boyfriend," she replied. I nodded "Yeah, that would be great!" of course it would've been better to hang out with her without a boyfriend, but I like hanging out with Heather. She smiled and said "okay! see you later!" Then she left.

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10.07.2009 Textbook Case (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am in my high school in the room farthest down the hall in the social studies wing, where World History II used to be taught. I am in a class being taught by a social studies teacher, Mr. Kopff. It is the first day of class. Mr. K writes on the chalkboard what our first assignment is. I am very focused on doing well in school. I keep saying to myself "Gotta hit the books." There is another day of class where I am sitting farther back, behind my friend Tim. I am reading a part of the book. I am thouroughly enjoying being in school, learning, and doing well. I am also happy that I get to have a favorite-subject class with my friend Tim. He is busy reading a page of the book. I am outside by the basketball courts in the parking lot, near the track and softball fields. The is an small car-sized space that in caged in with fence, with a fence door that can be opened or shut. It looks like it could be used for a sport but is not big enough. I am standing by the door with my friend katrina and someone else. We are talking. I am worried about something, I ask her if she has a computer I could use. She shakes her head. Later I am still by the fenced in area, thinking about the OM project i've been assigned, somewhere in the dream. "you have to build a device that can travel to a particular spot (on land or water) and retrieve a flag, all without touching the ground." I look up from thought, a man with a teacher-like presence is standing a few feet in from of me. "I've got it," i say. He asks what I mean. "for OM, we need to build a hovercraft!." i gesture a sweeping motion with my hand. "they don't touch the ground at all" He begins walking away. I continue imagining a small hovercraft made with a industrial size fan and a sail of somesort for movement. I am in Cobleskill. Standing next to what usually is the plaza that houses the movie rental store and buffet, as well as several smaller stores, like a dry cleaner, subway, and wireless mobile retailer. the parking space has now, however, been replaced with a pool of fathomless water. The water is surging as if it were storming. An old man is standing accross the water, on the sidewalk that is in front of the buffet. Thinking he needs to be rescued I dive in and swim over to him. The water pushes me around side to side with each wave. I am nervous, but not very concerned for my life. I reach the old man he points behind me to a small sailboat in the water that looks like it is made of newspaper - only it's still large enough to carry a person. I start to swim out to get it. I have a lifevest this time. A superhero acted by Ben Stiller of some sort is swimming around me underneath the surface. He wears and ultramarine blue unitard. He is coming to the rescue of the old man and he attempts to rescue me too - but I am doing fine in the water. Feeling I am not needed I go back to shore. when I reach the shore I am lifted out of the water. Later, I am back at the fenced in area. The OM team I am in and I are begining to build the sail for our hovercraft. Alyssa G. is the only person I remember from the team. We are using the fence to help us. In the fenced in area is a pool of water. We stand on the ledges of the pool and tie rope to the fence to build a foundation of sorts. It gets confusing but I am sure it will work. At some point I am in a building or house, similar to my parent's house. I am standing in what would be the guest washroom, adjacent to that room is a hallway, and if you were to take a left as you walked into the hallway, you would enter a bedroom. Standing, facing the door to the hallway, I see Mr. K appear from the bed room. There is a bunch of utility junk in the bathroom, and behind me there is no wall, exposing the room the elements. I is rainy outside, gray and foggy. I am loading things into a shopping cart to take to a shed in the back yard. The yard is littered with junk and there is beaten dirt path, worn from use, leading to the shed from the no-wall in the washroom. Mr. K is adjusting his tie, like he was getting ready for work. I say hi and pull the shopping cart out of the washroom. Mr. K accidently put his briefcase in the cart, so i run back with it and hand it to him. We laugh nervously and then shrug it off. I am in the classroom again and Mr. K is outlining the next assignment, but it's complicated and the assignment depends on which game console you have. There is a five digit number on the board. The number doesn't mean as much as the individual digits, as each digit corresponds to a game console. Mr. K outlines the assignment, with writing and arrows in chalk on the board, for xbox360 and ps3, but I keep thinking that I don't have a console and I don't know what the assignment will be for a computer. I plan to ask him after class. I am with leah at some point during this dream. We are walking, entering this multi-story building that is ruined. It is only composed of it's floors and internal frame work. So you can walk on the floors, and see the iron gurders the support the structure - but there are no walls. The floor is littered with garbage; newspapers, tin cans, etc. we walk into one of the upper stories and sit down on a fallen support beam at the end of the room. Leah is telling me that her and her boyfriend haven't been doing well, and I am sorry to hear this. There are other people, who are walking in this building as well, almost as if they were other people you would see in the park. It is sunny outside, and the sun lights the trees brightly, but inside it is dark. An old man enters from one of the entrances to the room to our right, sees us and says "oh!" surprisingly, as if he hadn't expected us to be there. He shuffles past us and into the next room. A young man enters with his two dogs, a black labrador and a golden retriever. He stands there, not looking at us, as if he were absorbed in thought at the sight of the building. One of his dogs, his golden retriever approaches us playfully. We pet him but leah is a little dispondent. i search for something to throw the dog. I see a stick, and a book rolled up. I take the book and throw it. The dog runs after it. The dog doesn't return for a while, leah and I keep talking. Leah and I would return to that building again at some point in the remainder of the dream, but I do not remember what we talked about then. -- The dream changes I am a different character. I am a girl, who has a profession in espionage in a coastal town. The Town is very unconventional. It sits on a hill that descends to the bay, where boats come in and out. Much of the town is industrial. The offices and places I explore seem like what used to be steel mills - with metal grates for floors and big iron doors that are sealed shut - like on submarines. Pipework extends along the wall, industrial red and yellow paint cracks on the metal surfaces. Outside, it is bright and sunny. Clouds clear into the endless blue of the ocean. Much like a video game my health is displayed before my eyes. It is a meter, shaped like awkward piano keys. The keys fall off as my health lowers. I go on various missions that are all connected but I can hardly remember them now. I enter theaters, I swim in the bay area. The reoccuring themes are trying to rescue people by finding photographs of them in the places I go to. I place their photographs in a book with pages cut out, making a slot for the photographs to be inserted and protected. When I find the photographs, I hear the people I am saving talking to me. What I have to do then is escape before a bomb goes off. I can tell when it is armed because I hear a beeping, that slows down and lowers in pitch as it gets closer to exploding. I remember the last mission well. I am in a house and I am in a back room with a disorganized bookcase. I find the photo and I begin to hear the bomb beeping. As this is happening I don't feel alarmed. I just casually take my time to find the book as the beeping slows down. It's almost as if I'm really focused. I pick out a book about marine life, it's teal and wide. Find the slot and stick the photograph in it. I walk through the decrepit house. It is dark and unlit, light comes through the open door that I am walking to. The only flooring is the baseboards. The beeping has stopped. I reach the wood porch that overlooks the bay and everything goes black. I wake up and it is sometime later in what appears to be my parents house. I had been unconscious from the concussion of the blast. I stumble through the house after awakening and finding some documents that were next to my bed. (a map or something). As I step out from the industrial hallway and onto porch I realize everything is blurry because I don't have my glasses on. I find them just when I realize this, lying on the porch railing - almost as if they had been left there awaiting my return. I put them on and the bay area comes into focus - i see the white boats on the blue water. I look at what I am holding and it is a photograph of me (as they girl) with scars and blood scabbing on my face. it isn't pretty. I feel my face and the scars underneath my nose. This is a photograph, not a mirror, and i do not know what I look like. But for the most part, I am happy to be alive and satisfied knowing I saved a life. I guess this is the end of the game. A colleague greets me in the hallway and in the signs above the doorway I see cheatcode that I can play around with. I enter his dark lab and try entering one that I thought would allow me to breathe underwater, because I wanted to explore the bay area. But it seems it has only extended my health supply.

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12.07.2009 Naked in the Theater (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am in a movie theater with my father. He sets to my left. We are in the very back row. The theater has red seats and there are two seating areas, split by a walkway in the middle. I understand that I have a bad habit, or a compulsion. That everytime I go to the movies I must remove my clothing. Aparently I've done this many times before. Father does not saying anything as I do while the movie begins. The movie is about one man's attempt to assassinate Hitler by sneaking in to his offices or at a convention with other officials and stabbing him. I don't remember much about this part. Although during some parts of the movie I was absorbed and the dream carried out as if i were the main character. The main character attempts to stab Hitler and then the movie concludes with the impression that the he was sucessful. Which, as I knew, was not historically correct. The movie ends and the lights turn on. People scatter and leave. I am wrapped in a green towel. I tell dad I will meet him outside, he says nothing and heads into the hallway. I wait for more people to leave and then try out various options to get dressed again. I am mildly embarassed as I hold my clothes in one hand and hold my towel up with another. faux memories remind me of how it is the same everytime. I can never find a place to dress in the theater while no one is there. More people enter the theater for the next film and acknowledge my awkward situation, but noone says anything. Father comes back in wondering where I am and I say I know I am taking a while but I have to go to the bathroom now. So I scurry down the red hallway, past the concession stand/box office where I overhear an employee say to two others "there he is again." I pass by Abbot, who is talking on her phone, and I think to myself - how much more awkward can things get today? She says she has to go and begins following me and I jog down to the bathrooms at the end of the hallway.

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12.07.2009 Interplanetary Rivals (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am playing some sort of game, or watching a movie where I am not acting but observing. The dream opens up in a city with tall buildings that all kindof look run down, but the streets are clean. Very similar to the levels in Duke Nukem 3D. The main narrator is a character who does espionage service for a military faction. The military faction is largely outnumbered by a rival faction and therefore have set up a base in the ruins of a subway station. The enemy faction has a larger complex that begins in the ruins of the next station down the tunnel, so the tunnels have been sealed. Among the ceramic tiles and ticket booths are computer screens and high-tech equipment. The narrator suggests sneaking through the tunnels but the officer )a woman) says that there are too many and operations will have to continue without entering their base. The narrator walks out into the street and comes accross a woman (who is an impoverished woman I see around town) and another character, and a robot. This part gets lost. The narrator walks out into the street again and asks the woman for information. I play as the character here. The woman is homeless and has nothing. I give her a quarter in exchange for the piece of information. She, the other character, and the robot turn the corner to find an apartment we can board up in. It is my girlfriend's old apartment. We haul furniture into the apartment. The are no separate bedrooms but corners that each have a sink and and a closet. It's pretty beat, for her situation and mine it will have to do. It takes us a while to set up. I walk out onto the street again and from around a turn comes a bus that is being attacked by an opposing faction aircraft. It's firing rockets that look like plastic soda caps at the bus, which all miss. The Bus turns a corner to drive towards the big metal door which is the entrance to enemy base. It collides with the door, causing large amounts of damage to door and setting off an alarm. Fire swells. My cover is blown somehow. I am back at the main base. The woman, and whoever the additional character was, have been taken hostage. The wherabouts of the big blue robot are unknown. The base decides it is our responsibility to rescue the two characters. We will have to sneak in under disguise to do so. The cover we use is the sister of the woman. The enemy base is large and expansive. Under the disguise of the sister, a character walks up to the leader of the enemy base carrying the woman's niece. The leader is with the woman, standing on a platform. aircraft flys around high above them inside the base. Out of sympathy for her family, without saying anything, the leader lets the woman go. The woman kneels down in mercy and seems to provide something to the leader. She is different in appearance now. she is clean, healthy, and beautiful. the leader watches them leave, foreshadowing other thoughts. They move down a walkway towards the big metal door. After they leave they are in a aircraft of their own. Enemy aircraft come from behind and begin attacking their ship and the faction the narrator works for comes into reinforce with more aircraft. A battle erupts. The woman however, is familiar with computers, and hacks into their systems disabling them, making the enemy ships easy prey. The army surrenders. A male leader of our faction stands before the enemy and their leader in front of a bombed out storefront. Our leader asks for the other hostage - his son. He steps down and retrieves a limp, tired, body from the enemy leader and begins to walk away. But we realize before he does, that the enemy gave them a dummy instead of the real son. Realizing this the leader turns around angrily pulling out his pistol. Despite the other leaders telling him to stop. He loads bullets into the enemy leader pushing him through the door of the building and into the back wall where our leader continues to shoot him. As we look down at the enemy leader, riddled with holes, the scene changes and we see OUR leader awakening in fright from a dream on his bed.. where the holes were are scars that are now covered up by mechanizcal devices.

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12.07.2009 Doing My Best (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was living on some sort of massive spacecraft colony that was home to many people. It was made of this grungy, sooty, black metal - but it was also decorated with lush green plants and waterfalls in the ship's common areas. Most of these areas were open air. To get an idea of the ship, think of a the demensional rectangle. If you were to drill a hole through the middle of one of the ends to come out the other - you would creat a hollow column in the middle of the shape. This column was where a large lift operated, carrying people to the many levels of the ship. It sortof looked like a the grate of an outdoor cooking grill. It operated by moving up and down, but it was not held in place by rails - so i was always kindof afraid of it falling out of place, which it did during one part of the dream. Now for each level, there wa a cross-shaped open air area with the lift in the center. Each end of the cross created an opening in the ship - where ships could enter I guess. So you would have openings on the North, South, East and West end of the ship for all levels. I was apparrently a student in some sort of cadet training. I never visited this school in the dream, but twice I entered this room where each cadet or officer had a shelf where they displayed everyone's achievement medals or awards. I was there with a man who was presenting me the awards. Most of the awards with small statues that were had a cool red color, I guess alazarin crimson is a close match. I did not have much on my shelf, being so young. A few small awards. The man presented another small award, and then I was awarded a medium sized award, shaped like a hybrid of a cross and a maple leaf, for "world recognition in recycling." I guess this was for my performance in school as well as my job on the ship. which was like my regular job - working as in the recycling center and as a cashier at the grocery store. The man then presented a very large award to an older man next to me. It was a uniquely designed bottle which housed a sweet wine. The award presenter left and the man poured himself a glass, and then smelled the wine - rambling about how wonderful this wine was. He let me smell also, but not taste and then he walked away. he was boastful, but i congratulated him and was sincerely happy for him. I was very happy with mine. I found a teacher in the room also and I expressed how content I was with my modest awards. As I stepped outside I began considering shifting my focus to engineering, because I loved the down and dirty work of the recycling center. but before I could think about it I had to go to work for a couple hours. I took the lift down a level and stood there as my first customer already approached me. She had found rust on her aluminum toothpaste container and wanted me to clean it off - assuming that the rust was the store/product's fault. It was beat, but usual to deal with superficial customers. I feel kindof down and all of a sudden am reminded of all my failures at relationships.

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13.07.2009 Construction Malfunction (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was wandering around campus before school began for the semester. Many things were different. There is little I can remember now, but one of the things I remember is going up to the art building, and seeing that one of the staircases I used to get to the studio was unaccessible and the bottom floor was destroyed. I guess there was alot of construction. Where they had taken one staircase away, they put another in the bike rack area. Before taking the staircase I knew would take me to the studios, I walked up this new staircase and found myself in a hallway that was made of plywood, had cut out windows, and was suspended somehow. The hallway led to nothing, no classrooms or anything, for there was only air beyond the wood walls. It moved in the wind. At the end of the hall was an open elevator that carried students back down to the ground. I was going to take it, but one student was on his way up on the rickety thing and it stalled and then fell back down, as if the cables had lost it's grip. The student was okay, he called to a friend of his down below. I took the stairs back down. I was then in another building, near the radio station. There was some convention going on and a bunch of unusual displays were scattered around the floor. I said to myself that I thought this was all very weird and after a few moments of denial - looked at my hands to see if I was dreaming. I saw that my fingers on my left hand were bent a little backwards and then I realized I was dreaming. I paused and thought how careless of me to keep going as long as I did without checking. But it was only mild lucidity, I didn't have much control. I slipped back into the dream only to continue the path I was taking - up the stairs to the next level of the building.

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20.07.2009 Ryan's Intrusion (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am walking down a town street on a bright, sunny day. On the wide sidewalk I pass by post offices, brick municipal buildings, automobiles, and parking meters. It is wonderfully calm. I am walking towards the entrance to a college campus. Where the campus begins the road ends and gives way to a sudden rise of trees. It is almost as if the campus boundary divides the road and the park/forest. Before I reach the entrance I look to my right to see a girl on her bike. She is looking at me. I look away then look back again and she is still looking at me. The rides up on to the curb and comes around from behind me. She then pretends to cut me off of my path, softly saying a word that is along the lines of "boohp" in a manner more playful than startling. She gets off her bike and we start talking about various things. We pass by the campus sign and enter the woods area, walking on an uneven dirt path. Small trees rise up all around us. Through the canopies I see brick campus buildings a little ways away both to my right and left. We get on the subject of Michael Jackson's death. I tell her I can moonwalk and joke saying that I have been practicing. She laughs and says I don't have to show her, but I insist. Later, Ryan comes up from behind us on his bike. I don't want him to be with us. I wanted to talk to this girl alone. I feel frustrated. Ryan asks us what we are doing and we say we are going to eat. Ryan immediately asks us if he can come. The girl says that would be fine but I pause and dissapointedly say "...sure." Ryan says "great," and goes on talking. I stop and let them both know I have to go back and pick up my bike at the entrance. They say okay and keep going, I head back alone.

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20.07.2009 Lost Home (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID It was night. I was with three other girls and we were all returning from a trip somewhere, possibly a Canadian city. We had spent two nights in an expensive hotel. The first part of the dream was us giving one girl some money because she had paid for the room. After which that girl and another left and I went to go get something to eat with the remaining girl. After that I headed back to my apartment alone. Flourescent lit rooms dotted up into the dark starless sky. the apartment complex i lived in was huge roughly abou the size of a large hotel and similar in structure. i entered the lobby and headed for the elevators, thinking about how I hated the small, cramped, rickety elevator cars. In the lobby, which looked alot like the Reed Library addition, I saw Courtney G. and talked with her a little more about metalwork and told her that I had to go change and wash up but that she should come over and we could talk about it some more. Then I tried to remember what room I lived, It was on the fourth floor, I looked to the door behind her to remember the structure. E30. She said she lived on the eighth floor. Great I thought, I have to ride the elevator again. She agreed and I went on my way. I couldn't find my apartment door, I spent alot of time lost and confused trying to navigate the hallways. I couldn't remember my way around. Everything had changed.

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20.07.2009 Fire Alarm (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am outside in the backyard of our house in my hometown. It is dusk and cloudy, creating a cool wash over everything. A group of people arrive and park on the lawn. Many of them are black. They greet me and hang out, I know many of them as friends. One tall friend hands me a small spliff and I take this as a very friendly gesture. He lights his and then I light mine and we stand next to each other enjoying our smokes and watch more people amass in our lawn. I don't taste anything except maybe something similar to toliet paper. A concert sets up - a travelling drum band from Africa. There are dancers and a vocalist. The vocalist adds touches to the music of which I greatly enjoy. I don't feel high, but I feel happy and I bob my head to the music. At some point, because of my lack of smoking technique perhaps, my roach goes out. It is not only going out but falling apart. Another friend, a white kid with short blonde hair helps me out and takes my roach and walks away with a blow torch. He dissappears and comes back later but it is even more destroyed. We laugh and an older woman tells me that it took her two weeks before she could smoke correctly. I am not bothered. I continue listening to the music from behind the crowd but I hear conflicting music somewhere. I can't tell if it's coming from the house or from someone's cell phone. someone tells me to come with them and i am walking towards the entrance to my house. emily k. appears once in front of the garage as I enter the warm-lit breezeway. She then appears again in the doorway, looking out in to the front lawn. A lot of people have shown up at the concert and there are a few lingering around in my house. Mom and Frank are not there. I enter the house all the lights are on and through the light I see a mist of smoke. It is not alot.. so I am unconcerned. maybe cigarettes or someone cooking. As I approach the dining room my anxiety grows sharply - but i still don't know what is happening. I turn the corner and find that the living room is filled with smoke. A fire alarm is going off with irregular susession. in a snap my heart panics. i enter the room expecting it to find bright red billowing flames but i find nothing but more smoke. I look to my right and realize it is from a candle that fell and the fire is out already. There is still alot of smoke. I go down the hall to check my room and the other rooms to see if there is a fire in any of them. When I enter my room, there is a girl standing on my bed. She is looking down at my dresser; on top of which is a radio - the radio that was making the music. I turn around. I am hyperventilating. I cannot calm down.

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21.08.2009 Broken Bridge (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID There was a flash flood. I was observing from a position high above the river as if from a helicopter. I saw the wave of water come down and appraoch the first first bridge. There were no cars on the bridge and on both sides of the river were trees and roadways. The water came up the bridge and took out it's supports, collapsing the bridge. Authorities hurried to set up road blocks near the ends of the bridge and then at the other bridges downstream. The water approached a second bridge carrying lots of debris from the first bridge - in particular these large pieces that looked like black yogurt cups. The first two of these pieces just missed the supports of the second bridge, but the third and forth ran into supports at one end of the bridge. So the bridge didn't collapse but was critically damaged. The unsupported roadway wobbled under stress. I was part of a team of engineers that were rushed to the bridge to assess it's integrity and examine the river for evidence of rising water. I was an assistant-in-training and the lead engineer had me help out with various tasks. One of these was examining the river bed with was littered with sedimenting rock and mud. We were under the bridge in boots using this device made of weights tied together at one point on a string. When the weights touched the river bed the either sank or spread out and evened out their weight - allowing them to stay on the surface. While he's explaining this to me my boots keep sinking in the mud. The other test was where we took an empty paint can and tied it to a string and then lowered the paint can through a drainage hole on the bridge. We lowered it until the paint can was floating in the water. Then the lead engineer told me to use my multi-tool to cut the rope and tell him when the paint can was released. He took out his stopwatch and got ready to time how long it took for the paint can to reach a particular point on the horizon. Kindof like measuring knots on a boat. I got to the rope but couldn't find the knife on my multi-tool so I was looking for other options. He started counting down and I kept telling him to wait. Finally I picked what looked like a piece of saw blade with deep teeth to awkwardly cut the rope. The river was already tugging at the paint can so the rope wasn't perpendicular to the river. He counted down to zero, after which it took me a few more seconds to cut the rope. When it did I shouted, "release!" A few seconds went by and he hollered, "look at that thing go!" It was moving very fast, apparently. The day was ending and we started packing up our tools that were scattered all over the bridge. There was a rikety catwalk we used to cross the unsupported bridge. On my way over I passed by this engineer who was sorting pain medication on the side railing so i tried to be careful as I passed by to not disturb him or move the catwalk so much. I had to go past him a few times and on my last time I was particularly disruptive, almost causing him to lose one of his five tablets over the railing. "you know," he said "if i loose one of these.." and then he went on to say something rather threatening.

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EXPLICIT - READER DISCRETION ADVISED Spoiler for EXPLICIT: 21.08.2009 Starlight (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was walking down a hallway in a college dorm. I passed by a computer terminal where some students were working, the windows on my right looked outside into what could've been a soccer or football field. as I passed by the divider of the computer lab and walked into a row of dorm rooms. I saw a dark skinned girl about to enter her room. I realized this was a girl I had a particular crush on for a while now. Memories came back to me of stalking her on facebook and such. I was not obsessive, but I did really like this girl. I somehow started talking with her. I am not sure if i just introduced myself or had talked to her before. But in one way or another I got out that I really liked her. This seemed to have been taken positively. Somehow we start getting really flirtatious and touchy, and before I know it I am sinking into her missionary style. A part of my conscious tells me that this is all moving too fast but that thought is quickly faded and I am consumed in the beauty of this girl and the feeling of being in-coitis with her. I am completely lost in her. I melt in to her voluptious curves and her big legs wrap around me. She moans and a few times she changes position on her own volition. I pull out and move my hands down her stomach and to her thighs. I am completely unihibited with this girl ready to surrender any fear of the female body into utmost love and desire. She is still wearing her underwear. It is silky, soft, meshy, warm and damp from sweat.. My fingers underneath the fabric move like another organism. As I take it off I realize that the color of her vagina is not fleshy colored as normal, rather it is as black as her skin. The glitter on her black underwear creates creates an effect on her vagina, as if I am looking into starlight in a deep void of space. Enraptured I sink into her again for a little while but then all of a sudden she says "stop.. wait, please" I immediately pull out and ask her "what's wrong?" She doesn't have an answer, but I do.. and I again know that things are moving way to fast. I comply and lie nest to her on a pillow and cover us up with blankets. I notice we are still in the hallway. In the other room I see the computer lab students. Embarassed, slightly, but I feel wonderful to be in the presence of this girl. I hold her and she seems to feel okay again. Her friends show up and they are excited to see us together. The girl and I start talking, openly and healthily. We talk about cooking and we make plans to cook dinner, but first we must go to the grocery store downtown. We make a list of things we will need. Her friends play some of her music collection, it's all music I have never heard before but I like it and I love learning and discovering a person who is not only very different from who I am, but at the same time also an outsider of society. Later, I hear her thoughts. Not from her voice but I hear them as if I were hearing her thinking coming from a telephone. She is talking about how things are moving to fast and how I am commited to the idea of love. I understand that I have to take things very slow and enjoy the relationship for what it is, not expect anything. I am mildly discouraged but I am committed to providing a healthy relationship for the both of us.

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21.08.2009 Father and Son Refugees (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am at my grandparents house. I am younger in age. My father is here also. We are in the living room. It is night outside. The TV and radio are turned off and we only have a few lamps on. Outside it is thundering and we hear many explosions. I look outside and the night sky is lit up with red light from fires in the distance. Blue lightning spreads accross the sky and strikes the ground in rapid sucession and it illuminates rising smoke in the distance. I have a sense of what is going on but I don't want to come out and say it. "what's happening?" I ask my father. My father looking very concerned holding his chin directs my grandparents to move downstairs into one basement and for me to go into a separate basement alone. "we have to go, now" he says. He stays upstairs to get a few things. I hate the basement in my grandparents house. It is dim, dirty, and musty. It is a place where all my fears come alive. As I open the door to the basement I am supposed to go to, I try and turn on the lights, but they are all out. The staircase walls have shelves on them. On the shelves are various things like paint thinner and glue. The staircase is small and is therefore divided into two sets, broken with a small space that has a bookshelf on it and a closed door to another room. I go back up to look for father but I can't find him. When I go back to the staircase he is there in doorway that was closed. It leads to another apartment in a town. On the opposite and adjacent walls there are windows, two on each. Father points to them and says that this is the room we want because the windows are small enough to be covered with newspaper to catch glass if they break. That is what we begin to do. I start taping up newspaper to cover the windows. Outside the lightning has stopped but it is cloudy and there are no stars. I hear explosions. "what is happening, dad?" I ask. He looks down as he rolls up a newspaper, and with a worried look on his face he say to me "it appears factional warfare has erupted." He pronounces "factional" like "face-tional" making me wonder if I had been pronouncing the word wrong all along. Father goes to the water closet and I continue until I hear a loud explosion in the distance. Suddenly everything is quiet. I look out the window to see a rising mushroom cloud in the distance, it glows red. I call out to dad but he doesn't answer. I go outside for a better view, hoping it's not close enough to burn me. I am out on the street. the red cloud rises up very high in the sky. A wave of wind approaches the town and blows loose debris around with it. I duck to avoid flying glass. But the shockwave has lost it's strength - it only rustles the newspaper on the windows. I go back inside, thinking to myself "this is it, this isn't a movie." Dad comes out and says "well has the whole thing boiled over or what?" I show him the orange mushroom cloud which is leaning over and dissipating in the wind. He asks me if I heard anything about it. I say "all i know is it's towards our Northeast, that's all i've heard" Dad ponders and asks "Toronto?" I immediately think of maddy and feel an urge to cry but I try to think it's not true and come up with the only excuse I have "That's northwest, dad" I continue "Maybe Saratoga, or Montreal." Dad says "ah, you must be right - somewhere in that vicinity." He nods. We continue putting up newspapers. I seem to keep missing spots. We work until it is day out. I look out the window as I am putting up a newspaper and there is a boy on the street looking up at me. Below our house there are clothing racks. Beyond the street is a field where cars and people are assembling. People are layering up, putting on coats. "what's going on?" i ask dad, and he says that they are setting up a civilian headquarters in the field. There are a few attractive girls in front of the house - they are all layered up.

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04.09.2009 The Anonymous Presence of Indignation (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am sitting in a driveway, similar to the one behind Tim's Apartment. I am by the shed. Father is sitting next to me. There are two dogs with us. One is a geman shepherd, the other I cannot identify. I'm trying to jog dog breeds in my head but I cannot figure it out. He is a large dog, with darker marks of fur on his forearms and the top of his nose. They are rescued dogs of some sort. I read a piece of paper with medical information on it. It reads that these dogs have lost hope. The unidentified dog is standing on my lap with his two front legs. His eyes move sullenly side to side. I pet his paws and I feel his fur as things begin to fade to black. I am in the old house now. It is dim lit and I am in the living room at the computer. Father is on the couch nearby. I am browsing a wretched porn site looking for a particular photo of a specific girl. All the girls are ugly and disfigured. I find the one I was looking for and call dad over, when I turn back at the computer the photo set is shuffled again and I have to sort through the photos in front of dad. I find the photos of the black and blonde haired girl but do not find the right one. I tell dad to nevermind and he doesn't say anything and goes back to reading. I realize my phallis is hanging out. I stroke it a little and then put it away, asking myelf how could I be so vulgar to be doing these things under the eye of my father? My only answer is let go and submit to the process of intuition. I visit my father at Barnes and Noble. He is busy in the back so I wander around the store, which feels more like a library. I go to the fiction section and pull out random books. Dad comes out from the back and passes by, unaware that I am in the store. I go say hi to him and he doesn't seem surprised and also seems to be in a hurry to get back to what he was doing. I sit down on a couch nearby a window. It is very stormy out. Father comes over and looks through the window. Through the reflection of my glasses I see outside the window a lightning bolt strike nearby. A loud crack of thunder follows. Now I am in my home. The lights are again dim. It is dark outside. I am alone and terrified because someone outside, whom I cannot see, is banging with both hands on all the windows, one by one consecutively. I hide and scream and I beg for them to go away and wonder what did I do to deserve this from anyone. I feel hated. It stops and Dad and Maria appear in the sunroom. As we talk it starts up again and I lose control to my fear and roll around in frantic terror. It seems I am the only one who hears the banging but I catch a glimpse of Maria and she is lying still on the floor. I don't know what has happened to them. It stops for a second and I race into the next room and towards the front door to confront the person responsible. As I turn into the doorway, John is there holding the door open. "Erich, relax, it's just me" he says. Without thinking i launch myself at him and we fly out into the yard. "John, you? Why would you do that?" I ask. John says nothing. I begin crawling under a green blanket in the yard, carrying john with me. I am moving from shadow to shadow, trying to hide from anyone. A station wagon comes from around the corner and passes us by. The inside light is on. It is two workers from Price Chopper. Lori is driving and there is another girl in the back seat. Lori wipes the sweat from her brow.They must be tired from work, I think to myself. They turn up the road I live on and pass my house.

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03.01.2010 Found Kite (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID i am walking in the plaza of the rockefeller arts center, down the stairs that lead to the bicycle shelter. i look to my left and see a kite skirting along the concrete in the open area. i look in front of me and then look back. the kite is brightly colored with sections of various neon colors. i pick it up and the string leads somewhere. perhaps to the owner who is looking for it or to the roll of string itself. i follow the string down the staircase that faces three man hill. i pass by a mother and child along the way. the mother makes noises of surprise to inspire the enthusiasm of the child who makes a sound of delight. i smile and continue onwards, following the string down the west side of the building. i walk along the grass, which is very healthy and very green. the warm wind blows, it is a bright sunny day with only a few cirrus clouds along the horizon. francis walks up the hill and i meet him. he asks me a question which i cannot hear but i presume it is about the kite. i tell him i found it. the wind is constant so i try letting go of the kite by the frame and it flys up. the string, of which the end is yet to be found, slides through my fingers. the kite loses some lift and falls and i hold the string tight. the kite hovers for a second and then brings it's nose down, falls behind francis and lands in the grass near the parking lot. i think to myself, that perhaps the frame is broken and that i could fix that. francis says goodbye and continues walking toward the clock tower.

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II RETROSPECTION

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11.11.1984 A Dive with Whales (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID - and then i said "i want to go diving." i lept off the boat and into the deep ocean. looking below me i could see very clearly, at least 100ft in front of me. maybe it was the way the sun was hitting it, but the water was a warm orange color. the light caught on what appeared to be dust that was rising, kicked up from the ocean floor. i had entered the dive in hopes of seeing a whale, but i was a bit pessimistic about my chances. but then i looked down; just beyond the tip of my visibility, i saw a family of sperm whale. they drifted in and out of the dust and my sight. i dived deeper but realized i was diving too fast, so i looked around for the safety line and swam over to it. i looked up and watched the calm rhythm of the sky blue surface and the nod of the boat's hull. i cleared my ears and dived deeper. i was excited, nervous, but not afraid. i approached with caution and then they appeared before me - thousands of whales. swimming rapidly in formation as schools of small fish do. these were smaller whales, orca or maybe mixed types. they spiraled upwards around me, a small whirlwind of undersea life. another group spiraled below that one. it was beautiful.

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11.11.1984 Approaching Storm (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am home. I am very concerned about our dog having an accident in the house but I am too tired to get up and walk him. Eventually I do get up out of bed and I look around the house to check if he did anywhere. There doesn't appear to be anything. I walk towards the front door but before I open it I am waking up in bed again. This happens a second time. I go through this routine for a little while. Eventually I do open the door and as I call our dog over to help him down the stairs something catches my eye. I turn and look up to see these dark clouds approaching us from the direction of town; billowing and looming over the treeline. They are illuminated by flashes of lightning. The wind picks up in gusts. I think it would be best to wait to walk the dog so I hang out in the breezeway for a while and watch the storm approach. The sun is still out, not yet covered by the blanket of clouds. The nearby mountains are hidden under a vail of rain band. Maddy calls me, I talk to her as I stand in our driveway. I tell her I feel threatened by what appears to be a very severe and intense storm. On the road is a line of cars moving away from town, towards Breakabeen. I know I can't go anywhere, that I have to stay - but I wonder as to just what we are in for.

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11.11.1984 Corridor People (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I am sitting on a couch at the end of a concrete corridor with a couple of my friends. The is a turn down the corridor and we cannot see the other end. There is a door to our left. My friends are throwing a white ball down the corridor and as the ball hit surfaces pieces of it fell off. There is a group of people at the other end. They are angry at us for something, perhaps irritated by the ball. They are all lined up side by side against the opposite wall. I don't know if it was the other people but the ball kept coming back to us. I look over at one of my friends and as face outwards again the line of people are suddenly in front of us. They do not say anything and I feel uncomfortable.

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11.11.1984 Grey Water (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID i was watching a television set. on it was a news broadcast. against a blue background a man in a grey suit was talking about youtube's controversial decision to ignore requests for the removal of a video dipicting the actual drowning of a black husband and wife. the news broadcast then played the video. the person filming the video was high above the water on a bare concrete dock. dark storm clouds blanketed the sky. the water surged. just beyond the face of the dock was a small freighter, half sunken with it's bow submerged. it was moving at moderate speed towards the dock. it was known that the couple was on the boat. the boat collided with the dock and the camera person screamed.. which seemed to indicate that the camera person knew that the collision meant certain death for the couple aboard. the stern now faced the dock. on the rear deck you could see the husband lying unconscious. with the knock of a swift wave he slipped off the dock and dissappeared into the water. then the camera zoomed in on the woman who was stranded in the water trying to stay afloat. she was wearing a pink sweater. she was groaning. beginning to feel tired she started sobbing. she too, slipped under the waves. i kept thinking to myself "why doesn't the cameraman do something?" the news broadcast showed a picture of the woman.

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11.11.1984 Mnemonic Construct (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was in some sort of office building on campus where I my bagpipe lessons were being held. it was the last day we were allowed on campus or something. we all had to get our things packed and ready to leave. my instructor was actually cleaning out the refridgerator in the office my lessons were held in.we hadn't started yet and we only had an hour. it was already fifteen past or something. my instructor, who i think was my old drum instructor, said he had to go get something so i had ten minutes to do whatever i wanted to. but i had to be back there in exactly ten minutes because we were already late. i went back to my dorm and thought about getting a slice of pizza. I eventually go caught up talking with people. everyone was pretty relaxed because the semester was almost over. It was pleasant, but i soon realized i was late to getting back. On my way out of the dorm I stalled and went back to get a rain coat. the hour was almost over by the time I got back to the office. my instructor remarked sternly about it and i took a seat at the table by the window. he took a seat next to his colleague whowas sitting across from me, painting greyscales with acrylics. They started talking to each other. I leaned against the window and looked out into the alleyway below. I began sobbing uncontrollably, they didn't acknowledge it. the alleyway faded away and in faded another scene. it was dark. i was sitting in chair on a stage of some sort. sitting next to me was a girlfriend of some sort. she remained anonymous. to my right stood a host who gave off the vibe of a televangelist. the spotlights from the rafters were on the three of us. beyond the lights i could dimly see a crowd audience. i think i was in a wheelchair. in front of me, at an angle, was a mirror. i can see my face. the host, an older man in his sixties, asked my friend what she valued. she gave a straight, confident, answer. i don't remember what it was, perhaps honesty or integrity. i started to cry again. the girl stood up; she started talking very quickly to the host, trying to cut him off and stop him from asking me the same question. the host was moving towards me. finally, through the girl's voice he asked me the same question; to which i responded, with tears rolling down my cheek, "innocence". they all looked and me and the crowd muttered shock. the girl put her hand on my shoulder and said coldly "don't try to hold hands with me," as if i had said something wrong or embarassing.she lifted her other hand, palm up, towards the ceiling/sky. the host put his hand on my forehead and said "watch this; this will freak you out." He covered my eyes and i fell asleep. i awoke in a hospital bed, next to a window that overlooks a familiar alleyway. i had been injected with several syringes. they were all still there, dangling in an even line along my torso's axis of symmetry. the plungers were all different colors. on my chest i found a small book that the staff left for me that helps one identify what the colors mean determined by the color on the syringe. i glanced at it but did not look at it for very long, i took notice of the colors. i woke up in the same bed a second time. there were several more syringes in me this time. i didn't feel like the same person, i had changed. i felt them. it felt like they were there, but i am not sure if the syringes were there or not. then there was a knock at the door. groggily i answered "what?" i expected it to be another nurse because i vaguely remembered some sort of routine check up during the earlier part of my stay. a voice came through the voicebox instead of the door. "it's madeline (foley)." "oh" i replied. "may i come up?" she asks me. "yeah". this was unexpected. i waited there for a while. the door had been pulled open by some force. after some time, with madeline not showing up, i began to wander the halls. they were painted a pale yellow and white. people - guests and staff bustled about. there was alot of piping in the hallway. bright light bled from the windows. as i wandered, not straying to far from my room, voices - muffled and distant, echoed through the now vacant hallways. mostly laughter, like old memories replaying in my head. constructed memories perhaps. the scene faded away and into another. it was silent/mute. the camera was in a fast descent toward the ground. it was over a desert. it zoomed in on a well or big hole. next to it lay the carcass of a bird of greenish color. it was dusk. in the next shot I see a girl who looks like ariel riding through the canyons on a giant rooster-like bird. she is smiling, self-assured, with a gleam in her eyes. as she rides in silence my thoughts collect. i think that all memories, thought, and emotion are transient forces that can eaily be removed and replaced in different people or vehicles. thus bodies can be easily changed.

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11.11.1984 My Confession to Heather (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I finally came out and said that I loved Heather to my friend Brian and Jon - Heather's boyfriend. They decided that there should be an open discussion of this. We all met in the sunroom of my old house on RT.145. I sat in the corner next to Jon by the screen doors. Brian sat down next to Heather across from us on a couch where the hottub would be. There was one or two other people there, Francis possibly being one of them. We were all there to discuss the matter and let heather decide who she would rather be with. Sometime in the conversation it was brough up about how Francis left katie or someone to be happier with someone else, perhaps Caryen. We all agreed that was a good move, but also insinuating that Katie, and therefore Jon, weren't very nice people. I didn't know anything about Jon and Heathers' relationship, so I tried to defend Jon - saying he wasn't a bad guy. Before I could finish, however, Heather was standing in front of us. She told us, almost as if she knew all along, that she would rather be with me now instead of staying with Jon. Jon stood up to leave immediately. I sat down for a little while as Jon gathered his things. He didn't say anything. Heather mentioned that the forgot his national geographic article which he had tacke to the wall. He accidently tore it off the wall, gave a nervous laugh, and handed it to Heather. He then left. I turned around and faced Heather and she hugged me. She said something along the lines of finally being able to love each other. We sat down on another couch while Brian talked to another person. She huddled up close to me and began to tell me something. I was a little worried about Jon and what all of this would mean - I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. Outside there were these small, white animals covered in wool. They were a cross between dogs and sheep. They were grazing outside in the backyard and one of them was jumping up and down. I passed a glance at Heathers breasts to notice they were getting hard underneath her shirt, suggesting a thought to me that she was turned on. This was Heather I had never experienced before. It felt wonderful to be in her arms but I still could not concentrate. I wanted to tell heather this and ask if she wanted to go out in the sun and see the unfamiliar animals. I felt comfortable knowing she would be okay with this.

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11.11.1984 The Old Owls (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID this dream took place in what appeared to be the 19th century. in the first part i did not have a role as a person, only as a camera that observed, but i still was able to think and reflect upon what happened in it. i was observing the travels of this unfamiliar family. they were all dressed in 19th century clothing. there was a father, who wore a tophat, a mother and two children - a son and daughter. the boy was about five years of age and the girl about twelve. the first place this family visited was a hospital. they were visiting their grandfather who was very ill. they were all sitting around his bed in a small wood panelled room (similar to a cabin lodge). there was another patient who rested on a bed by the window. it was snowing outside. Besides for the wood structure of the building, the medical equipment was all very modern and the hospital staff wore contemporary uniforms. i was looking across the bed at the boy. A doctor was there talking to the other family members. They talked until the old man groaned, turned in bed, and went silent. "He's dead!," cried the boy. Nobody replied. The doctor hurried out, grumbly commenting on the boy's lack of respect for the "death watch" or what was otherwise the infirmary for patients who did not know they were going to die. The man resting near the window got up suddenly and nervously began to ask "am i going to die? am i going to die?" the nurses wheeled him out. next, they were all in an old rail coach. it looked as if it used to be a horse buggy but had been converted to a railway car. the family were all huddlied together into this car. the mother was weeping. they arrived at the station and grouped together outside in the snowy siding that was in between the rail lines. the railcars were all lined up behind them. other passangers gathered their things. the mother turned to the boy and asked, "where is grandfather?" To which the boy responded "he's right here." but next to him there was noone, the mother fainted along the tracks. the father stood still, motionless. the sister motionedto the boy and anxiously said "get the things from the car." i awoke, in the body of the mother, in a tree canopy lying on a large branch. i felt secur, not worried about failling. i was drowsy, however. it was daylight. a winter gray cast over everything. perched on a branch above me stood a snowy owl. she swooped down and ate from the carcass of a dead chicken. This was announced by a narrator similar to on that would narrate a nature documentary. i did not see the owl eat, my head did not move much. the owl returned to the very spot i had seen it before and began to look at me straight in the eye. I did not hesitate or afix my gaze at something else, only looked back at her uninteruptedly. several other snowy owls perched themselves around me on the trees around ours. i was thinking they would eat me if i fell asleep. i was too exhausted to mve for some reason. i wasn't too worried about this, too tired i suppose. my eyelids wavered shut. when i fell asleep, i awoke.