First lucid last night, and wasn't even trying.

first thing was i realized i was dreaming. surroundings were grayish but i couldn't make out wat they were, even though i wanted to. then again, i don't feel like i have strong will power in my dream to say "hey focus, what is the background...what? ...what!!???".

so once i realized i'm dreaming...i try to see my hands. i worry that lucidity won't last long. motions are slow but i look down, and my hands are like 80% transparent. i just know i'm seeing a form of it, but it's mostly transparent. i start to float upward like in "waking life". i'm a little bit apprehensive but i relax shortly after because i am sure i'm dreaming. i float around and i try to control my direction, but it doesn't seem to work much. everytime i worry that lucidity may end, i look at my hands again.

later i remember about clocks and signs. i try to imagine a clock and i'm successful to some extent. it's a transparent form again and i think the hands on the clock are moving faster than normal but not scary speed. i can't seem to get the clock to be clearer and i float to the right of it away from it. i try to see signs and i see 2 road signs in the grayness around me. they are small and i try to focus on what the sign is saying because i want to try looking away and then back to see if the words change. but i can't even see any words on the signs. they seem empty.

i try to dream of sex. i want to picture a hot beautiful girl. all i manage is a woman, maybe early 30s, Caucasian, and not even her full body. just from waist up. she's in yellow, like some kind of airline ticketer lady, button in the middle kind of uniform. i float toward her and i'm trying to make it more sexual, or change the lady. but i am floating toward her breasts, and she feels like some impersonal large holographic billboard from scifi movies. as i float toward her, i try to clutch my hands but my pinkies and maybe ring fingers are locked. (in real later i realized my fingers were interlocked). i try to remember where i am in reality but can't seem to think of it, where i'm sleeping or what. (i was in my living room couch). then as i float into the lady's breasts, i feel an orgasm coming. i try to hold it longer and manage to extend my orgasm...maybe 4 seconds? who knows why i am thinking of the number 4. it feels awesome.

then my dream starts to fade...all the time i'm relaxed...and i'm still floating...i think upward.

then blank. my mind is still thinking, but seems like a black screen. i'm thinking...ok i'm about to wake up now, where am i really...stuff like that.

*Then i'm awake, and i find my fingers interlocked and i check my boxers...yea mildly wet. and i take my hand and put it in front of my face...yeah i see it. not a dream here.*

Next dream...i'm in some kind of building. i'm on the 3rd floor now, someone is on the 2nd i think. we're looking down on the first floor. there's a woman, not particularly beautiful, but she's Caucasian. she's takes off her clothes (or maybe she already did). and she's showing her breasts. not particularly beautiful. pink nipples. i remember peeking as if i didn't want to be seen, so sometimes i can't see her breasts. but she's happy and showing it to a crowd on the first floor (i think women). she had some kind of breast surgery enhancement i think and she's saying something like it looks good (as in surgery didn't leave scars or something) and she's happily showing them. she notices me and the other person on the 2nd floor and she's smiling and happy. i continue looking.

then i think that's it for my dreams.

Cool. Now, the 2nd dream of the girl and her showing breasts...i wasn't lucid.
But the first one, not only was i lucid, but i had some control...something i don't remember having before. that is, i could imagine the clock, the signs, and create something sexual leading to me cumming. but i wanted to have sex, and it didn't happen. so my dream control isn't good.

May 26, 2010.