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    Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

    1. #2601
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      My Mum was telling me of the time my Uncle got stuck down a chimney.

      Me - 'But how did he get out?'

      Mum - 'Well, he always was a terrific mime.'

    2. #2602
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      This one was a really weird situation. I show up for an (audition?). There is a female (staff member?) there.
      For some reason I reach over and rub her (ahem) and stick my fingers up there.
      She: "I don't want your (dirty?) fingers up there!"
      I withdraw.
      Then we start doing it on the floor, she's on top and says: "Congratulations on the hard-on!"
      Chicken and Jdoggad like this.
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
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      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    3. #2603
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      At a party, everyone's moving to the living room, I say sarcastically, "Yes, it's time now for everyone to go look at moving pictures inside a box!"
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
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      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    4. #2604
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      Dream police is the worst! - DC Police officer: You all better turn yourselves in because I am coming for you, so if you don't you'll never be able to sleep soundly again. I will come when you least expect it!

      The way he yelled this left so much resonance that I could feel all of the vibrations going through my body. I was actually scared of never being able to go to sleep peacefully again in fear of being woken by him.
      "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."

      The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho

    5. #2605
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      This one happened in late July of this year:

      Snoop Dogg was in my dining room while a woman was going "downtown" on him and he said in his typical voice, "When you get honey, let me know, Boo Boo. So, we can take a selfie." Eventually, she gets up, he starts doing her from behind while standing up, and he is now taking selfies of them with what looks like a phone.

      Wtf?
      If you were to wake up right now, what would you write in your Dream Journal?


    6. #2606
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      Hahaha!!!!! ^^

      Honey Boo Boo, omg I'm literally laughing at loud at that dream
      Sensei likes this.

    7. #2607
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      ^^ I didn't even know what to think when I woke up after that. Like, how do you even react to something that bizarre? Lol.
      If you were to wake up right now, what would you write in your Dream Journal?


    8. #2608
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      With smooth lines like this, it's no wonder the dream ladies can't resist me!

      Me: "Hello! Did you know it's kiss day? It is! " *smooch* *goose*
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    9. #2609
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      Some random guy walking through a giant tunnel: My son is looking for a daughter to hang out with.

      (It looked like he was talking to no one.)

    10. #2610
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      A little person telling me about something that had happened to her two- or three-year-old son: "When he was about my age..." It very much confused me.
      imazu and mafanabe like this.

    11. #2611
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      Scene during a multi-scene work epic non-lucid:

      I'm standing on the 2nd floor looking down, lost of people are milling around on the ground floor.

      A girl who doesn't work there walks in and is asking another girl (who does) a question.

      Girl announces: "I've been challenged to sleep with someone in a very cold room!"

      I'm running for the first floor. Tons of guys are shouting "I know a cold room!" "No, I know a cold room!"

      I'm wrestling with some guy with grey-purplish skin, I'm biting his head, trying to get him to GTFO,

      Grey-skin guy to girl: "Hey, you want to go get a motel room!?"

      Girl: "Yes!"

      Me: "You get the heck out of here with your grey skin!"
      OpheliaBlue likes this.
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    12. #2612
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      ’It's like Yoda trying to waterbend.'
      Poor Yoda. Always trying to waterbend apparently.

    13. #2613
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      At a concert, a hot girl seated in front of me turns around, leans over to me and starts seriously licking my jeans-covered knee, slobbering all over it.
      Me, later on: "...she totally gave me 'deep knee' ."

      Me: "Pad Thai to go, please."
      Restaurant woman: "We don't make that any more."
      Me: "What!? I've been ordering that here for years! What'll I eat then? OK, just give me a vodka martini to go. Can I get a lid with that?"
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    14. #2614
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      Me in my first WILD. I was in a horse pasture with a dream character actually giving me helpful advice on dream control.
      I pointed at the moon and tried materializing the iron man armor.
      He said: "NO! DON'T DO THAT!"
      It was too late. The moon suddenly detonated as if a nuclear bomb just exploded on its surface.
      "Way to go. That's gonna piss off the moon queen."
      Who is the moon queen anyway?

    15. #2615
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      Lmao!! ^^

    16. #2616
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      one of 12 scenes from last night's epic stream of consciousness dream.

      R.H. (former work colleague) to me: "I'm moving to Boston with my girlfriend, I want some parting advice from you"

      Me: (singing, to the tune of "Please come to Boston"): "Please come to Boston…"

      R.H. and me still singing to the tune, in unison: "… she said YES!"
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

    17. #2617
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      "I don't know why I hate you so much, potato!!"

      I don't remember the entire context but apparently someone was yelling at a potato.

    18. #2618
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      I was in my dorm room and one of my Dream Character friends, Tanya, that I knew IRL. She was sewing, with a needle a friendship bracelet in my skin around my ankle. There was no blood, though.
      I remember saying to her, "Hey! did you sterilize that needle?" As I did so, I moved my leg which made her mess up. This is when Tanya said, "Now!! I have to start over."
      OpheliaBlue likes this.
      With Dreaming you need to start small and work hard grow your lucid dreaming lifestyle...
      I'm not just a lucid dream, I'm a Somnonauts!!

      “It’s... your conscience. We don’t talk a lot these days.”


    19. #2619
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      A random guy in the gym picks up a very small Ratatouille design-pattern bed-sheet and just looks at for only a brief moment before putting it down and changing his mind about it (most likely due to the small size that isn't fit for even a single/twin-size bed, and this is what Remy the rat said to him:

      “Oh come on, you’ve already signed it. Why not at least just use it?”

      *Funny thing is, there was no personal signature or initials on that bed-sheet.***

    20. #2620
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      At a baseball stadium, some guy is having an intense conversation with Bugs Bunny, when another DC walks by (to be read in Kevin Hart's voice).

      "Man, Bugs Bunny ain't real, you just talkin' to yourself and freakin' out all the little first graders on their field trips!"
      "Going through life worrying about the little things is like cooking with motor oil instead of cooking oil. Sure, you can still probably pull it off, but it'll leave a bad taste in your mouth in retrospect." - Me, apparently

      2015: 101 LDs, 2016: 114 LDs, 2017: 38 LDs, 2018: 20 LDs, 2019: 8 LDs

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    21. #2621
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      Got one that really cracked me up. I was at a hotel, and a random dream character got eaten. The hotel's manager came to the hilarious conclusion. "dammit jason voorhees is eating all the tenants.... Again!"

    22. #2622
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      "Man, Bugs Bunny ain't real, you just talkin' to yourself and freakin' out all the little first graders on their field trips!"

      XD That's some funny *beep*

    23. #2623
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      Me: “You wanna take a drive and check this amusement park out? Or would you rather continue to walk on the bike trail?”
      Jdoggad likes this.

    24. #2624
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      *DC lying on a bed suddenly turns into a bed sheet*

      DC: Ding! There we go!
      Just a scared old llama on the outside planning to dominate these forums...



      Don't you dare defy me!
      Note: I'm big on grammar, you won't see one error coming out of me!

    25. #2625
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      Me: "Honey, you can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. If you can please 50% of the people 50% of the time, consider it a major success!"
      FryingMan's Unified Theory of Lucid Dreaming: Pay Attention, Reflect, Recall -- Both Day and Night[link]
      FryingMan's Dream Recall Tips -- Awesome Links
      “No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.”
      "...develop stability in awareness and your dreams will change in extraordinary ways" -- TYoDaS

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