Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

I recently had a lucid dream where an old lady was firing wind at a little girl, while my friend watched. I shot ice at her to make a tornado, and my friend shouted,

"What the hell are you two doing!?"

My dad said, "Shouldn't you be asleeeeee", and he held the "E" for a long time before collapsing bodily on the floor.

Originally Posted by Dream scientist

My dad said, "Shouldn't you be asleeeeee", and he held the "E" for a long time before collapsing bodily on the floor.

I laughed.

LOL.

This is probably my third dream with a voice in my head. And the second where It was useful/ provided any comic relief.



Another one of my dreams with the voice in my head. In this dream, I start out in a house that isn't mine. Well, it's my exact house, but other people live there. Time froze, and then I got a voice in my head. It said something to me, almost in a riddle. Then, I looked to my right, and there was a girl my age on all fours up on one of the counters (the island, to be exact) she was wearing a very loose shirt, and it was hanging down. My luck, just as I noticed that and looked, time unfroze. She started yelling at me. Then time froze again, and my voice made a sarcastic comment. So, I walk into the master bedroom. My voice interjects with something along the lines of "This chapter has to do with clothes". I thought to myself "good, maybe they'll be coming off in the next room". (I was unusually perverted) The voice said "It's not what you think it is. But it does have to do with clothes." I push open the door, and there's a woman on the toilet. She yells "yeah, as in, CLOSE the door!" (punny, huh? The sense of humor my mind has...). So then, I close the door and time freezes again. My voice says "You're not very good at this, are you? *sigh* Listen, when you try to do bad things, bad things happen. Try doing something nice". Good advice, I figure. So I walk out into the kitchen with time still frozen. Ernie from George Lopez is standing there, except he's like 6 feet tall and has a 4 foot beer gut. I say to him "Ernie, you look like you've lost some weight". His beer gut slims, but is still there, and time unfreezes. He jumps up and down like a little girl and goes "really?! I was working out! I didn't think anybody would notice! I'm so happy!". The dream ended there.

I wish a voice would narrate my dreams.

Well (warning, unrelated) I had another one in which a disembodied voice told me how to stabilize. I was trying to get rid of some annoying noise by unplugging a vacuum cleaner, and the voice said "Don't worry about getting rid of the noise. It's part of the dream. Use it to help you stabilize."

I wish that voice would come back and make me lucid.

Before getting married, I said, "Here we go again."
Then after getting rejected by the bride, i'm sitting in the corner watching people dance, then this girl says, "I like men with no shirts on." I turned around and said, "What?" Then she said, "Nothing." Then the dream ended.
This one of the few times I remember what the DC's say.

I set a little duck down in a pond.
friend: "What are you doing!?!? Ducks can't swim!!!"

random DC in my front yard: hey that guy over there looks like legolas*points*
I turn around and there's orlando bloom just standing in the middle of the street for no reason.

I'm standing in front of a big machine, my friend, a coworker (don't know IRL), walks up to the machine and the machine grows a mouth and eats him and before he dies he says "remember, you fired me!" i laughed when i woke up.
----
i give my sister some pork ribs for a sandwich
sister- "how do you make a sandwich out of this?"
me- "i don't know, i'm not the one who smokes!"

i woke up like WHAT? my parents laughed their asses off when i told them.

OMG! This has to be one of the funniest thread I have ever read!

After playing a trombone actually quite well I turned to my DC who is sitting on my couch next to me.

Me: What was that one laugh that one of the three stooges did?
DC:Can you name me a type of clothing?
Me:I think its ARARARARAR!
DC: No that is Mork and mindy you twit, and i am thinking overalls.
Me: Mint condition spiderman undies...
DC: Thank god it isn't another pair of ninja turtle skibies.

I woke up and just thought about my question till I could remember the actual answer.

DC news anchor: All the preceding events can be resumed to that well known saying that -*starts screaming and having seizures*

A dreamer friend relates 3 dreams:

In her dream she sees a circle of colesiums with Roman or Greek looking columns. Each colesium is the home of one of the planets of the Zodiac. She finds herself in front of the planet Jupiter's colesium. Jupiter is a short fat guy with incredibly bright shining blue eyes.

Dreamer Friend: "What is it i am supposed to do?"

Jupiter DC: "I think its up to you."

Dreamer Friend: "Do I ask you a question?"

Jupiter DC: "I don't know. I don't have any answers."


In another dream she walks into a bar...there is a 'monkey man' lying prone on the bar...

Dreamer Friend: "Bartender, why is the 'monkey man' here lying on the bar?"

Bartender DC: "Oh him, he's going to do an art installation later."


In another dream she walks into a house she used to live in. There is a side room with the door open. The room is filled with aliens. One of the aliens seems to be a rogue alien separate from the group who walks over to her and taps her on her shoulder...

Rogue Alien DC: "Do you read Eckhart Tolle (Power of Now)?"

Well, in my most recent lucid, I had a DC exclaim:

*Please excuse the language.*

"Motha F*cker, I stuck my d*ck between the bars at a muggle zoo and f*cked a primate!"

I had asked him if he had sex with only witches over the summer or if he got some muggles too.

lol i was in a dream and me and my stepdad saw a space shuttle crash far to our right. i said we should go see if theyre ok and he said "no, federal law forbids people from going near crashed spacecraft." after i remembered the dream when i woke up im like yea, gov't would probably do something like that.

I had a dream some time ago where I was being mugged near some train tracks. The mugger took out a revolver and preceeded to fire at me. After a few shots missed he layed the revolver on the ground and reached into his jacket. Just as he was about to withdraw another gun I picked up the first one and shot at him. I hit him 4 times in the stomach.

Long story short he died and I went to live in a cabin on my own, overcome with grief. Then my friend came to visit me in my Cabin. While I was completely depressed over the murder I had commited, my friend tried to console me by saying ''Hey on the bright side this would make a great movie''

DC: "In the old days we didn't need an excuse to suspect someone of being a woman!"

ok im at a table and a really famous sports guy(sg) walks in, dont know who, and i stick a fry into a sweet potato and say

Me: is this a sweet potato?
sg: i dont know check your dicamaray.
*sg leaves
Me:*laughing* what a dumbass! he cant even say dictionary!

After being chased by a bunch of guys with weapons and realizing mine wasn't killing them, I somehow managed to "cycle" through them until I was hanging onto a flamethrower, much like in a GTA game. However, this time the DC got the better of me with his smart remark after I tried to burn him.


DC: "You know, it might actually work if I didn't have a fire extinguisher."
Me: "Oh...yeah...you're probably right." -Tried to burn him again anyway, but the flame was put out.-

Looking up at a big wall

DC:Wow

What a DC told me after I asked him for advice:

"Keep your friends close, and dark chocolate closer."

A DC told me if I wanted to shapeshift, I should act like I was doing a Kamehameha at the ground.

Originally Posted by redisreddish

"Keep your friends close, and dark chocolate closer."

Sounds like a great advice to me.

My DC told me that he isn't my soul. And some other stuff that I don't remember.