Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Last night, I summoned a co-worker.

"Hi!" she said.
"Hi! Where do you want to go?" I asked.
"I don't know. Where do you want to get hurt?"
"I don't care," I said, playing along.
"Lets go to Virginia Beach!"
"Okay."

We walked out of the house. When we walked out we where in different neighborhood I used to live in. There was a cab waiting for us. Co-worker had apparently arranged it.

"This guy's the best! He doesn't care about passing."

We got in the cab and the cab driving started driving. He didn't stop at the intersection though. Instead he plowed through a fence into somebody's backyard, as if it was completely normal. Co-worker looked concerned.

"Hmm...Maybe we should go to Daytona Beach instead."

Just this morning, I dreamed I was at home, and walked into the back garden to find snow on the table and red clouds in the sky. My mum walked along the grass, suggesting that I call a fish Mick Foley.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because he's hardcore," was the answer.
All the while, a music video was playing on the TV nearby, featuring the usual fast-paced cutting and glitzy visuals of pop videos, and a singer who was shirtless and singing "Let's get high," in a very high voice. Half way into the song, everything stopped and there was silence for about three seconds. The singer then spoke in a normal voice: "Sorry, I fell asleep," and then continued on with the song.

We're going on a boat ride to an island to go fishing, when my aunt (in the dream, thus a DC) says

"I'm gonna walk this time"

What? Walk through the ocean, or skip across the water?

I go into a room with two other women, they sit on a wide ottoman, I sit on the couch. Then I realize there's a chimpanzee wearing a dress and a long wig sitting at the other end of the couch. I stare at it.
"What's wrong with you?" One of the DCs asks.
"Um...doesn't anyone else think that chimpanzee in a wig is kind of creepy?"
They roll their eyes then ignore me.
"No really, it's creeping me out." I insist. :/
Whaaaaat?

Dream style: 90's action film.

The "star of the show" has just crashed a small plane into the ocean and stands proud on the higher position of the coastline, when the head of the bad guys comes to talk with him:

Bad guy DC: When I said kill this guy, I didn't mean kill everybody in the plane, the woman in the group should not have died!
Star of the show DC: Next time tell me that thing before, so I can invent an excuse to keep her safe on the ground.

Just this morning I was walking along near the edge of a large park, as I passed a DC we started to talk an (I forget how) mentioned something about flying. She then said this:
Her: "Flying is possible!"
Me: "Oh?"
Her: "Yeah! I once flew 2 feet off the ground!"
Me (thinking she's crazy): "You sure that's flying?" (as in not just jumping).
Everything is paraphrased except for this response. I'm pretty sure this is what she actually said:
Her: "Yeah you can tell. It's a certain feeling in the thorax."

A couple of dreams ago, a lot of kids were sitting around a big tree stump, playing before going to bed with a very old wizard who made connections between the words they knew. I don't remember all the dialogs. I just remember he made a remarkable connection between the roots of "Pyjamas" and "Port-meister" (Meister=master in german) which had something to deal with a skin infection that one of the kid's mother had when she was young.

From this weekend, I had a dream which I titled "School of Pain", since I and many others were part of a school, not dissimilar to Hogwarts, and we had to prove ourselves worthy to obtain our lunch by injuring ourselves in some way. Cue a mad rush outside where everyone began trying creative ways of getting hurt. I half climbed and half bounced up a tree, not quite sure of my ultimate goal, while someone tried to follow me up and someone else kept hurling himself spectacularly into swimming pools.
Later I was watching through videos that people had prepared showing their efforts. One showed somebody jumping off a large bouncy ball and crashing violently into his unsuspecting friend. This was preceded by one showing a person getting swamped by an avalanche of toys, which ended with two Sweeps (as in Sooty's friend) engaged in a sexual act, and a robotic voice saying, "Who likes knickers?"
Strange or what?

Originally Posted by Well now what?

From this weekend, I had a dream which I titled "School of Pain", since I and many others were part of a school, not dissimilar to Hogwarts, and we had to prove ourselves worthy to obtain our lunch by injuring ourselves in some way. Cue a mad rush outside where everyone began trying creative ways of getting hurt. I half climbed and half bounced up a tree, not quite sure of my ultimate goal, while someone tried to follow me up and someone else kept hurling himself spectacularly into swimming pools.
Later I was watching through videos that people had prepared showing their efforts. One showed somebody jumping off a large bouncy ball and crashing violently into his unsuspecting friend. This was preceded by one showing a person getting swamped by an avalanche of toys, which ended with two Sweeps (as in Sooty's friend) engaged in a sexual act, and a robotic voice saying, "Who likes knickers?"
Strange or what?

I was starting to think, "I didn't want to read a dream; I wanted to read a darned thing that a DC said, so I skipped to the end and was intrigued. The dream turned out to be pretty funny, and the robotic voice made it all worth while--and rather hilarious!

"Who likes knickers?"

Found this in my dream journal from a few years ago...it wasn't anything we said that was strange, but I died because I got into a car wreck, then the car was ht by a crashing airplane, then my car was forced off the overpass and exploded.
Not at ALL overkill, right?

*Takes a crap in the sink*

"This sink stinks!"

He was with 3 other buddies, right next to them, what the hell.

I found this in one of my old dream journals. I walked into a room where some hot girl was sucking a guy's dick. I asked her if she could suck mine after she finishes with him, and she said, I quote:

"No problem, but please don't come in my mouth, because then I'll wake up choking, and that would be embarassing."

Unfortunately, the dream faded a few moments after that. I also burst into laughter after waking up.

From my dream last night:

Jesus(In an annoyed tone): "This is the last time I'm coming back for this generation of people!"

I was watching Family Feud (old one). One of the contestants revealed she was affiliated with some type of lettuce.

Richard Dawson (laughing)-"Oh, my fucking god".

Out car is plummeting down a cliff and I become lucid. I then proceed to jump out and float in the air.
Me to my DC friends: "Just fly guys!" *Remembers their DCs*
My friends then crash into the water and I have to chase after them and save them.

1. After taking a bite out of a cupcake given to me by a DC, they take it back, explaining "Oh, this is the lighter cupcake, I'll get you the more heavy one."

2. Shortly After walking into a Strip club/bar place out of curiousity , a short fat man threw some powder on me, and said "Hey, you wanted to work for me, so I made you into a female. Now, go up stairs and strip for our men!" I thought nothing strange about this, and happily obliged. I woke up a few seconds after laughing my ass off though.

3. Was at a party, and my sister in law was talking to me about shaving pube hair, shortly after my dad told me to get a hair cut.

*After a crop duster plane crashed into the field behind my house and it started raining blood*
My grandpa: Well, he should have let me help him fix it!
Me:
My grandpa:
Me:

So this isn't a quote from a dream technically speaking, it's a quote from an S.P hallucination I had a while back.

*pirate kicks down my door while I'm laying in my bed. He laughs how you would expect a pirate to laugh after the door hits the ground*

Pirate: *looks at my dog and grins* AHA! There ya are!

*picks up my dog, and holds him up like he just found the best god damn thing in the world*

Pirate: WE HAVE FOUND THE BOOTY! YAR!

*pirates chearing in the background*

Spoiler for My reaction when I got out of SP?:

A nymph start bleeding her period inside a natural fountain, then she says: "I urgently need a fish tank!"

This is from a very fragmented dream I had the other day (this wasn't in the entry, but thats because I just remembered it)

*my friends from highschool are in a glowing truck they call 'The Party Truck'*
Freind 1: Hey Wyatt, wanna party?
*opens door and pats an empty seat*
Me: *flips them off* FUCK OFF!

I must of been having a bad day in my dream...

Me:"What is the meaning of life?"
DC:"Poo."

I'm a restaurant server IRL so I get serving dreams. DCs don't look at the menu very often.

-I'll have candy and a lavender bud light.

-I'll have a deranium combo burger and grilled chicken tenders.

-I'll have typathon noodles with splenda dough.

-I'll have a QI burger, 7 orders of mozzarella sticks, and 7 orders or spinach and artichoke dip.

"Hey Scott, Bing Crosby's on the phone. He wants to ask you about pizza bites!"

-My mother

...

Well then

I'm in a sort of waiting area for a place where they settle luggage disputes. Across from me is someone who reminds me of Sendhil Ramamurthy.
"Unbelievable!" He mutters, exasperated, "The scholar I'm traveling with won't allow me to remove a 2lb item from his 500lb bag, says it will unbalance the tablets he has wrapped in there. REALLY?"
I smile a little, it isn't really funny.
"What are you doing here?" He asks me.
"I have to find the correct way to stack these blocks or they won't allow me to take them." I reply, setting a long thin rectangle of marble atop a cube of similar blocks.
"It looks like a puzzle." He says.
"Yes, I suppose."
"Quite a situation we've found ourselves in..."
"Is it a puzzling situation?" I ask, smiling a little, then feel like I should apologize for my humor. "Sorry. I do love puns."
I shoot a glance in his direction to make sure we're still friendly and find that he's smiling too.

The only dream I've had so far on this trip that didn't freak me out hahaha