DCs Say the Darndest Things

i am bycycling to work in a small town (i haven't been on a bike 45+ years)...the handlebars disengage completely from the frame... so i walk into a shop and ask the young woman clerk if anyone there can repair my bycycle...she shows me a list of 3 contacts who repair bikes...the bike has to be sent away in the mail...i don't find the options appealing...i realize i may not get to work this day...

Me: "Isn't there a bike repair shop in this town?"

Woman Clerk DC: "This town is too small...go and meditate in the twilight."

Ok, I've got another one!

I go to Arby's and the waiter serves me a burger:

Waiter: You have your burger, because Jesus was here!
Me: What?!
Waiter: Discuss physically immature characters in your fishtank.

What?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by quickhawk

Woman Clerk DC: "This town is too small...go and meditate in the twilight."
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Read my name, I had this before you wrote your post. :bigteeth:

When i had an oobe i went to a kitchen and i saw my dad cooking, and he seed
Dad: - Kiss me in the nose because my finger fell off
Me: - What ?!
And i think i woke up after that :P

Some random guy: "D'emo" [De-emo]
Me: "What???"
Him: "Most people don't know about emo food."

Completly random. Failed to make me lucid. Grrrrr.

I heard an announcer voice say "so just sit back, open up a can of mushrooms, and watch the clouds go by". In the dream state I thought this was the most hilarious and witty thing I had ever heard ( a word play sort of thing, obliquely referring to mushroom clouds). When I woke up I thought it was more stupid than funny.

read my sig to see what Duke says to me all the time :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Infraredkelp

read my sig to see what Duke says to me all the time :)
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Lol Bubblegum. Dukes voice is classic. My Dc's rarely talk I and I rarely remeber what they say, if anything.

Yeah more often then not, I would not recall my Dc's talking... Maybe I'm not old enough to dream about randoms all the time.

Me: So... you wanna make lurrrve?
DC: Sure, so long as it's quick!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Infraredkelp

read my sig to see what Duke says to me all the time :)
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That quote officially should go to Rowdy Roddy Piper from "They Live", not Duke Nukem..

BTW, even if you're under 30, even 20, rent that movie.. you'll love it.... where that phrase started, and it's got the best, longest, most realistic fight scene in it.. and it's pretty cool, although maybe cheezy by today's standards... but still good!

Kids.. :)

Leprechaun: Put me down! This is sexual herassment

Me: "Where's my girlfriend"
Random DC: "She's out in the forest collecting wood"

it was not a lucid dream but a normal 1 and i was with an ex friend of mine :
me: arent you a gothic anymore?
her: no i am a janice
wtf 0.o

"an ass is an ass until he gets his ass kicked"

I was having a conversation with a bus driver...

Me: Do you want to hear about my Lucid Dream?

Bus Driver: No, it's best if you switch to humanitarian efforts.

i was having a class of math from my history teacher (xD) in my house. he started to write some stupid equations on the chalkboard...

http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/2015/safdipb5.jpg

ok not so strange... but then he came with a equation that "describes the behavior of cockroaches"

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/8655/awdadbt8.jpg

i wake up laughing out loud xD

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fuchikoma

i was having a class of math from my history teacher (xD) in my house. he started to write some stupid equations on the chalkboard...

http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/2015/safdipb5.jpg

ok not so strange... but then he came with a equation that "describes the behavior of cockroaches"

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/8655/awdadbt8.jpg

i wake up laughing out loud xD
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Haha I became lucid once when my Maths teacher had written an equation on the board that he had professed was "in its simplest form":

x = n^2 x n + 4

Upon realising that it was not totally simplified (x = n^3 + 4 is of course the solution) I became lucid.

Talk about boring/smartarse reality check.

I don't recall anything particularly funny, but here's one from last night.

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(I'm in a museum gallery, with two DC acquaintances of mine.)

Me (To male DC): So we're both lucid.

Female DC: Can I be lucid, too?

Me and Male DC (simultaneously): No!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pyrofan1

Leprechaun: Put me down! This is sexual herassment
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LOL
What were you doing to that poor leprechaun?

My boyfriend: "Aww, you look just like my uncle, the urologist!"

Two gay guys making out with 2 korean men, in comes the gay guys two sons
Sons: Dad, those are our boyfriends!

Oh yeah I remember consuming a boiled egg with the yolk taken out and replaced by a large amount of Dill pickles, it looked pretty good, I can't wait to try it in my next lucid.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LucidDreamGod

Oh yeah I remember consuming a boiled egg with the yolk taken out and replaced by a large amount of Dill pickles, it looked pretty good, I can't wait to try it in my next lucid.
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You could probably do that IRL if you wanted.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Moonbeam

You could probably do that IRL if you wanted.
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yeah, but it would just be really weird and I doubt it would taste as <strike>good</strike> interesting.

I ate a milk carten once, I wouldn&#39;t try that in real life.

it was a very sex oriented dream, and the DC was Eric Bischoff

DC - Good, good... Very good. Is there any way we can get this in the ring? maybe fake it since it&#39;s gonna be live?

lol, wtf?