Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

From my short little lucid last night. Not all that funny, but meh:

Me: What is the meaning of life?
DC: *mumble mumble* colors *mumble mumble*
ME: Huh?
DC: *mumble mumble*

I was walking down a road, when suddenly some woman said, "You boy, go get me a smoothie!"

I'm in my house, looking out of the window, when I suddenly see a bear flying past. I nearly become lucid, but then I 'remember' that, of course, it's perfectly normal for bears to be flying.

Me (yelling): "Mum! The bears are flying again!"

The dream swiftly turns into a nightmare, with the bears trying to get into the house while I frantically search for pepper spray, but that's another story.

B: Really, you plan on running everywhere?
A: Yea, I do it for work all the time. I don't bother driving to give kisses anymore.
B: Give kisses?
A: Well yea. I work for that folding knife supply company, online we have a community, and we offer a service to give kisses to other members.
B: So you kiss the members... And the other member does what?
A: Vicariously enjoys a kiss.
B: So random people are okay with you kissing them?
A: Sure. Some seem to not get kisses often.
B: What do you mean?
A: Well an old lady seemed really grateful.
B: An old lady...?
A: I kissed the hell out of that grandma.

I haven't been lucid yet but here is one of my best conversations with a DC.
This DC was god.

I had a dream that I had died, I remember feeling like a naughty kid going to the principle office when Saint Peter said the big man wants to see you.

God: Hello
Me: So you exsist then?
God: Yup
Me: You know you we are one fucked up creation?
God: To be honest I never intended you to last so long.

EDIT
My dream last night.
After watching a couple get married the groom walks up to his wife while she holds their baby.
Groom: I was once a little boy, but now i'm a big boy"

Mom and I: *walk into a moneylending store*
Mom: I'd like to place a takeout order.
Receptionist: *smiles patiently* Ma'am, this is not a restraunt.
Employee: *snickers*
Mom: Okay, then. Nevermind.
Mom and I: *leave*
Me: Are you really that stupid?
Mom: Of course not. I just wanted to make them think that I'm a six fingered noob.

Originally Posted by Hera

God: Hello
Me: So you exsist then?
God: Yup
Me: You know you we are one fucked up creation?
God: To be honest I never intended you to last so long.

Haha, that was a good one

Hope I will have some conversations tonight, they are too rare for me

After being on an alien space ship and then thrown off one, I crash land on earth soon after my arrivel a massive robot army surrounds me.

Me: You've got to be kidding Earth is down fo one day and you guys swarm in?

This isn't exactly something that was said, but last night i went pee and 5 different streams of pee came out of me at the same time (in my dream)

I had this dream a few nights ago. Everything from this point forward is all in the dream.

It was back in the days of being a young weak college freshman. My friend Phil and I had just moved into our co-ed dorm and on this first night of college bullshit, something strange happened. Everyone is running around in the hallways talking about the first day of class, or something equally irrelevant.

This guy I know from one of my genetics classes, Mark, is a giant asshole. Well in the dream, assholeness is apparently conserved. He is yelling at this girl, telling her that she needs to remember that her place in the household is in the kitchen cooking dinners, and similar things. A crowd starts form, and he is really just letting her have it. Apparently she loses control and they start fighting. My friend Phil and I are standing on the edge of this crowd, and suddenly Phil decides he wants in on some of the action. I was afraid that he was going to help this Mark kid, but the crowd is too dense and I can't follow him. Just as I start pushing my way through the crowd, I see that Phil has somehow suffered a groin-punch from the girl. Apparently she was just going insane and hit him by accident. Mark ran away with blood coming from his nose. The crowd disperses...

Me: Dude, what hell man, are you ok?
Phil: *coughing* Good god man, I didn't know she could do that!!

Apparently it was then time for bed, and suddenly everyone is asleep. I'm about to get into bed and I decide I'm going to put the television on sleep timer until I see on the screen:

"Coming up next featured film: The Ring"

Me: Or I could just not have the TV on, that works too I guess.

In a lucid:

Shift: "Hey, what should I name the new puppy?"
Prof. DC: "Ability to uphold American Civil Liberties!!!"
Shift: "... um... thanks."

I think I'm going to have to keep working on a good name.

Me non-lucid: But doesn't that contradict the meaning of aids?

A was so suprised when i said that i woke up almost instantly... like WTF!

wow kool

Originally Posted by Hera

I haven't been lucid yet but here is one of my best conversations with a DC.
This DC was god.

I had a dream that I had died, I remember feeling like a naughty kid going to the principle office when Saint Peter said the big man wants to see you.

God: Hello
Me: So you exsist then?
God: Yup
Me: You know you we are one fucked up creation?
God: To be honest I never intended you to last so long.

EDIT
My dream last night.
After watching a couple get married the groom walks up to his wife while she holds their baby.
Groom: I was once a little boy, but now i'm a big boy"

I was in a McDonald's and my friend Max was wearing a swim suit

ME: "Why are you wearing a swim suit?"
MAX: "Why arn't you?"

EDIT: The dream I had last night had a wierd thing in it. I was at a mall.
ME:" Thanks for ditching me at Burger King! Now where am I going to eat?" (I said this to my friend Zach who was trying on cargo pants. I pushed him and yelled this at a department store).

Quoted from my DJ:

An older homeless man sees me and begins talking to me. We exchange some words for a few seconds.
"I eat anything" he eventually says. "Glass, rocks, metal.."
"You could even say I eat mountains."

I was distressed at school because the previous night my house had been broken into. I walked into the bandroom to put up my uber-cool bassoon, where I had the following conversation:

Originally Posted by Higurashi

The morning bell rings, school has begun. I pick up my instrument and take it to the bandroom, where I find Amonee.
"Hey," she waves with her laid back smile.
"Hey..." I repeat absentmindedly.
"What's up with you, huh?"
I sigh, and relate the crazy incident that took place the night before.
Amonee laughs, and it offends me. She notices my frown. "Dude! Okay, I probably should have told you...but yeah, I sent that guy to your house. His name is Stephen, by the way."
My eyes squint in shock and frustration. "What for?! He scared the crap out of me Amonee-"
She shakes her head and waves my comments away as if she were shooing flies. "No, you don't understand- he's a good thief!" She held up her hand as I was about to protest. "Yeah, he steals something from you, but in return he leaves you money!"
I roll my eyes to the ceiling and stand there, trying to control my aggravation. A few moments later I throw my backpack to the ground and start shuffling through it. "Amonee..." Annoyed, I find what I was looking for: the manilla envelope. I hand it to her, and she opens it, pulling out the bills. "The money is fake."
She turns it over in her hand, eyeing is suspiciously. "Hm," she says at last. "Tough beans, huh?"

It was funny, because I can picture her doing something exactly like that in real life

Here's the full dream

Not really something that was said, but a bit weird.

A woke up in the middle of the night to find myself stripping. I have no idea what I had been dreaming about, but I was lying there topless with my shirt in my hand. I did a couple of reality checks before I put it back on, because I wanted to make sure that it wasn't some dream.

I don't sleepwalk or sleepstrip usually, so I have no idea why I did this.

Originally Posted by Kadal

I don't sleepwalk or sleepstrip usually, so I have no idea why I did this.

Hahaha, sleepstrip.. that's a new one!

Barry is a dead person who I was channeling and speaking to through a cereal box.

Me, immediately after becoming lucid: "Now that I know that I'm dreaming, what should I do with my lucid dream?"
Barry: "Psh, I don't know! But at the end, make it something about Muslims."
Me: "That sounds boring. Bye."

Originally Posted by Kadal

Not really something that was said, but a bit weird.

A woke up in the middle of the night to find myself stripping. I have no idea what I had been dreaming about, but I was lying there topless with my shirt in my hand. I did a couple of reality checks before I put it back on, because I wanted to make sure that it wasn't some dream.

I don't sleepwalk or sleepstrip usually, so I have no idea why I did this.

It happened again this morning! Just what is my dream self doing???

Originally Posted by Kadal

It happened again this morning! Just what is my dream self doing???

Haha, it's doing what your real self really wants to be doing.

In a lucid from last night:

Dad: You'd better not fly up there.
Me: *smirking* Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

I was in the middle of the jungle and my Grandma had this house there, on top of a large hill in the forest.

Grandma: I had to pay 70,000 dollars worth of insurance for this house!

The house begins to slide down the hill.

Me: Looks like you're going to need it.

aww that actully saddens me aqunina