Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

I was talking to Catwoman alone in the middle of a field.

Catwoman: "Would you like to pound my guts out?"

Literally all i can remember from that dream unfortunately.

"We found a dead person in there once...look inside!!"

After feeling regret for pausing my German lessons for a few weeks.
Me: "Ich bin so schlecht..." (I'm so bad.)
Random DC Man: "No, no -- Du bist gut -- Du bist ein gut Mädchen!" (No, no -- You are good -- You are a good girl!)

I wish I had a guide that would teach me German in my sleep.

While watching a baby play with a beer bottle,
DC: "Is that one of them lawsuits?"

DC (with an English accent): I can't stand the taste of crab
ME: Crab's my favorite! Why don't you like crab?
DC: It tastes like creamed corn and candles.

I have no idea what I was dreaming of, but I wrote down
????????

DC: All math teachers are just laughing brunettes

????????

A few nights ago, I witnessed a conversation between two of my family. Well, I say a conversation, but they didn't actually speak; words appeared above their heads. It was absolute nonsense, and I have tried to replicate it as best as I can here, with other letters standing in for similar-looking non-existent symbols.

"Is that Hnnh?"
"Extendnt."
"Hη¿!"
"46. 115."

Originally Posted by Well now what?

A few nights ago, I witnessed a conversation between two of my family. Well, I say a conversation, but they didn't actually speak; words appeared above their heads. It was absolute nonsense, and I have tried to replicate it as best as I can here, with other letters standing in for similar-looking non-existent symbols.

"Is that Hnnh?"
"Extendnt."
"Hη¿!"
"46. 115."

Now THAT's Hnnh.115!~

I don't often talk to people in my dreams but things that are written down are SO bizarre.
I walked into a large library media room in one of my dreams, all of the computers had names I guess but I only payed attention to one sign above the only empty spot
"Lucy has been moved to the main hall!
Room#1127a"

I remember thinking that was totally normal...

A friend of mine got engaged with a woman who's a client where he works, then I asked him: "How did you do that?", then he answers: "I have to keep my identity safe".

Another one from me, one night old.
While walking through a supermarket with a friend, we encountered someone who I also know in real life who was answering medical concerns we had, but only if they pertained to the top half of the body. A little later, on our way out, my friend who was with me came out with this remark:
"I've got catharsis on my nipple on my breast."

Anyone familiar with Freudian psychology will understand that catharsis is an acceptable venting of suppressed unacceptable emotions, yet that knowledge still doesn't help to make sense of this quote. In my dream I assumed it to have a second meaning pertaining to medical subjects.

I was on an underwater gameshow. I remember one of the contestants saying something. It was Stan from American Dad.

Wife: "Stan... There's Canadians playing here. Aren't you worried?"
Stan: "This show isn't rigged, it's completely fair! Meaning I have the unfair advantage."

Originally Posted by SzuruDusk

Wife: "Stan... There's Canadians playing here. Aren't you worried?"
Stan: "This show isn't rigged, it's completely fair! Meaning I have the unfair advantage."

haha!

Random old lady: "Goodbye, humans. I'm the president's own woman."

"What the fuck are you doing, man? Get off my fucking car! What are you doing? Don't... Don't tape your feet to the top of my car, man!"

"It happened so fast. It was like corn dropped on a drain line."

I have NEVER heard of that expression. I guess corn sprouts fast?
I love it. I'm going to use that expression from now on.

Originally Posted by JenTheStrange

"It happened so fast. It was like corn dropped on a drain line."

I have NEVER heard of that expression. I guess corn sprouts fast?
I love it. I'm going to use that expression from now on.

Now that you mention that, I think I'm going to start using that expression from now on also.

Originally Posted by The Sandman

Now that you mention that, I think I'm going to start using that expression from now on also.

I wish I knew how my brain came up with something that clever.

A man heads for the womens restroom. "This will be fun." he says as he enters and starts whistling.

Shortly after, two girls approach the same restroom. As they get close, they hear the whistling. They look at each other.

Girl#1-"..."
Girl#2-"..."

Me: "You're dreaming."
DCs: "No."
Me: "You're dreaming."
DCs: "No."

Why are the DCs doing this to me?

I've had a couple of weird ones, but these are the few I can remember:

Me: (Incredulously) "So by eating some magic bread I get teleported to the top of a building right next to the ocean with tons of Tiffany lamps on the roof with a portal to another realm that's guarded by a blue Big Bird?"
Dream Guide: "Exactly what were you expecting?"

During a nightmare after seeing the scariest man in the universe escape from jail (which looked oddly like my high school):

Me: Mom! Let's get out of here! Let's just go! DRIVE!"
Mom: Honey, that man just escaped from jail. It's our civic duty to go capture him."

Similarly, after the world has been destroyed by an apocalypse several years before:

On the floor of a shelled building while we were scavenging for food, I saw several pamphlets scattered all around about the importance of paying taxes, and I laughed.
My dad frowned heavily at me and said "Just because the world is destroyed and the government is gone doesn't mean you can just not pay taxes. What are you, un-American?"

Originally Posted by Carrot

Me: "You're dreaming."
DCs: "No."
Me: "You're dreaming."
DCs: "No."

Why are the DCs doing this to me?

Because they love youuuu~

Remembered some more, and I found my old DJ!

---
My dog: "Congratulations, you have the mental aptitude to go to Harvard!"
Me: "Whoa you can talk?!?! Friggin A!"
My dog: "...Nevermind."

---
(In the middle of a giant war zone)
Dad: I'll give you 50 cents for each bullet wound you get!
Me: That seems a little low...
Dad: Fine, I'll give you six dollars for every bullet would you get!
*I go off to get shot*

---
Snotty old rich lady to my parents: "Didn't you teach your children to eat properly? Everyone knows that the right side of your body must be closest to the table, the other side tilted away."

---
I smelled a tree (I was in some smaller animal form), and was disgusted to find that it didn't smell "alive", like it should.
DC: "Well, maybe it's just dead."
Me: "No, not like this. This has the smell that would make others of it's kind push it away so it wouldn't ruin the society."

"We were lucky to get Ringo to play on our album after asking him for over 50 years. He played one note. And I think I heard a mistake in there somewhere."