Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

I was talking with my dad and brother when my dad said "You know, Rachel, if I were to give you a looney (he then gave me a looney) every time you did a reality check, from the dawn of your consciousness up until now...you would be the richest person in the world."

My subconsciousness: 'I think he's telling you to do a reality check...you should really do a reality check'

Me: 'Ya, ya, I will in a second, I have to figure this out first'... "Wow! That's right, I would be!"

Brother: "Aw Damn!"

Of course I was too amazed by the implications of this statement, and the fact that I now had a looney (a Canadian dollar) to do the reality check :p

Originally Posted by Q-Melk

Another one.

(DC tells story about a bumpy train ride)
DC: And do you know why the train ride was so bumpy? Because it was LOVE!!!
(everyone, including me, laughs)

Now, in waking life I just can't seem to get that joke

what do people do when they love each other very much?

hint, its how babies are made.

Originally Posted by sugarglider11

what do people do when they love each other very much?

hint, its how babies are made.

LOOL You get his head's jokes better than himself...

Originally Posted by Q-Melk

Another one.

(DC tells story about a bumpy train ride)
DC: And do you know why the train ride was so bumpy? Because it was LOVE!!!
(everyone, including me, laughs)

Now, in waking life I just can't seem to get that joke

Hehehehehehe.

yea my friends messed up my head.

Originally Posted by sugarglider11

what do people do when they love each other very much?

hint, its how babies are made.

Well, I did sort of get that. But the joke didn't make much sense to me otherwise, it just seemed too surreal or something :p

me and my friend had a rollercoaster and we wer letting people on and stuff, but turning some people away.

me: you know three people ave died on this roller coaster.

old lady: well laa-dee-daa. (as if it was a challenge or something)

everyone just kinda looks at her funny, then just takes a step back.

i dunno, just seemed really funny at the time oO

Originally Posted by derb

me and my friend had a rollercoaster and we wer letting people on and stuff, but turning some people away.

me: you know three people ave died on this roller coaster.

old lady: well laa-dee-daa. (as if it was a challenge or something)

everyone just kinda looks at her funny, then just takes a step back.

i dunno, just seemed really funny at the time oO

Well, everyone knows that rollercoaster riding is old ladies' favorite hobbie!

I once had a dream that I was in a roller coaster crash and the only reason I lived is because I turned my head to the side right before impact. So, the next day, I went outside and threw myself at the ground with my head sideways to see if it helped, and, well.....it was really painful.
______
Science Teacher: "Can anyone tell me why refer is a heroic verb?"
Me: "Cause it shuts the fuckin' retards up!"

Sadly, I woke up right after this, I didn't get to see my teacher's reaction.

i was in school with my gf, and we walk down the hallway,and she tells me to stay here, while she goes into another room. I then later go into the room where she is chasing rats around on her hands and knees trying to eat them. I look at her weird and she says "dont judge me just because i like rats" then i decide to help her catch them.

i had a dream were i had this string attached to my teeth that went down to a hole in my knee anyway i was trying to remove this thing this one girl i'm friends with in real life goes "hey you got a string on you" she starts pulling on it for a few mins ripin out all my front bottom teeth and 1 molar.. she goes oops sorry i was like what the fcuk

This was from a dream where I was a knight, talking with another knight. We were in the middle of a suburban neighborhood, so the setting was pretty silly anyway, but this conversation was hilarious.

Other knight: "My daughter cannot marry your son."

Me: "Why?"

Other knight: "Well...ah... you see... When your warriors go into battle, they carry stacks of loam on their horses."

Me: "Oh."

Originally Posted by naikou

This was from a dream where I was a knight, talking with another knight. We were in the middle of a suburban neighborhood, so the setting was pretty silly anyway, but this conversation was hilarious.

Other knight: "My daughter cannot marry your son."

Me: "Why?"

Other knight: "Well...ah... you see... When your warriors go into battle, they carry stacks of loam on their horses."

Me: "Oh."

You should have responded: "You mean your daughter doesn't want a 'loam-maintanence' relationship??"

In a non-lucid dream I had as a little kid:

(I'm reading a sign that said "Zerkons: Only Eat Teenagers)
Me: Oh good, I'm not a teenager.
Mom: I'm a teenager.

When I woke up I asked her if she was a teenager. She burst out laughing and said, "I wish I was."

Originally Posted by RakelvonB

I was talking with my dad and brother when my dad said "You know, Rachel, if I were to give you a looney (he then gave me a looney) every time you did a reality check, from the dawn of your consciousness up until now...you would be the richest person in the world."

My subconsciousness: 'I think he's telling you to do a reality check...you should really do a reality check'

Me: 'Ya, ya, I will in a second, I have to figure this out first'... "Wow! That's right, I would be!"

Brother: "Aw Damn!"

Of course I was too amazed by the implications of this statement, and the fact that I now had a looney (a Canadian dollar) to do the reality check :p

Ha!

I ended my dryspell tonight. So, I had a false awakening and I did a RC, realising that I was dreaming. I went to the living room and my mom was there...

mom: Hey, how many times did you get up last night?!
me: stop that, mom, I know I'm dreaming...

I start opening the window to try to fly...

mom: I'm filling this form but I need an ID number from you...
me: mom, stop blowing your head on that, this is a dream!

I start floating

mom: You'll have to teach me that LD thing one of these days, I wanna fly around, too!!!

This thing is SO FUNNY that I cannot stop laughing!!! I'm starting to freak my brother out because my face is turning red and I look like I'm half-crying, half-laughing. I can hardly breathe!

Ok, this is sort of the same thing: My mom woke me up for school when I was about 8. (This is RL, not a dream!) I said to her, "The crow calls..." and she said "What!?" "You know, the crow calls!" Then I went to the bathroom and got out of the "trance" (I wasn't hypnotised, but I'd still call it a trance) and had no idea why I had just said that.

Originally Posted by weelilhazel

This thing is SO FUNNY that I cannot stop laughing!!! I'm starting to freak my brother out because my face is turning red and I look like I'm half-crying, half-laughing. I can hardly breathe!

Ok, this is sort of the same thing: My mom woke me up for school when I was about 8. (This is RL, not a dream!) I said to her, "The crow calls..." and she said "What!?" "You know, the crow calls!" Then I went to the bathroom and got out of the "trance" (I wasn't hypnotised, but I'd still call it a trance) and had no idea why I had just said that.

I once told my mom that i will get up once i finish this quest.. haha

In groggy dreamland-ness I remember telling my mom, when she'd try to wake me up for school, "Stop it, just a minute. I'm busy. Trying to talk to..." or "this is important"... and then a bunch of mumbling on my part.

I just remembered something a DC said in a dream that was really weird. I'll just summarize the first part, it's so long!

Me and these other people had just delivered herbs to some sick people inside a weird tunnel owned by goblins. The rule of the tunnel was once you went in, you had to go the rest of the way through. There was a lot of mud at the bottom of the tunnel, so we had to walk on ramps and platforms above the mud. I fell off one of the platforms into the muck. A big log was in front of me. A narrative voice said, "if you lay seven stones across the log, then (he said a type of weird creature but i don't remember the name) will hunt you down." I climbed back up onto the platform, and there was a patch of clay on it with a goblin standing there. He said, "it doesn't have to be stones, it can be clay, too!!!"

Originally Posted by weelilhazel

I just remembered something a DC said in a dream that was really weird. I'll just summarize the first part, it's so long!

Me and these other people had just delivered herbs to some sick people inside a weird tunnel owned by goblins. The rule of the tunnel was once you went in, you had to go the rest of the way through. There was a lot of mud at the bottom of the tunnel, so we had to walk on ramps and platforms above the mud. I fell off one of the platforms into the muck. A big log was in front of me. A narrative voice said, "if you lay seven stones across the log, then (he said a type of weird creature but i don't remember the name) will hunt you down." I climbed back up onto the platform, and there was a patch of clay on it with a goblin standing there. He said, "it doesn't have to be stones, it can be clay, too!!!"

LOOOL They really wanted you hunted down!

It's hard for me to remember what DCs say in my dreams, though. I know something weird happened in a dream last night, but I don't remember if they said anything weird. @_@

Originally Posted by weelilhazel

It's hard for me to remember what DCs say in my dreams, though. I know something weird happened in a dream last night, but I don't remember if they said anything weird. @_@

Yeah, I only remember what DCs say in LDs.

I tend to have really odd dialogue in my dreams.

Once, I was dreaming that I was haning around with my friend's sister, and she was drinking a diet soda.

Me: You know, diet soda has aspartame.

Friend's Sister: I know, and aspartame can cause hepatitis.

Friend (Appeared from nowhere): Actually, it can cause Acuna. (I have no idea what that is)

Me: Ooh, is that the thing where you get the little fiber things in your liver?

Friend: They're more like little tornadoes.

Me: So, are they like little fiber things?