Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Sounds to me like you have some people in your life who you need to learn to trust. Or, learn to keep a tazer under your pillow

Originally Posted by Pdoubledreaming

me"dude im so dreaming right now and i could make you fly away if i wanted to"

dc's response".......dumbass"


*dream character floats a few inches off the ground and i throw him back and forth in teh air"

dc"aww skeet skeet skeet"


yeaa...i was like wtf in my dream too..weird

that is like the funniest thing ive heard all day (aww skeet skeet)

I had some dream, can't remember all of it but there was this whole dialogue of funny stuff going on.

Basically this old woman was a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and there was a curtain between her and the audience. Her grandson was screaming his name so that she'd know he was there wishing her good luck and she said to the host, "Such a sweet, sweet young man. But he's a god damn retard. " I thought this was hysterical and told my DC family, so I remember it pretty well, though I can't recall the rest of the convo which was funnier. Damn

I had a dream last night where my uncle Kenny showed up at my door completely at random. Our conversation went like this:

Me: "Kenny?"
Kenny: "Yeah."
Me: "What's going on?"
Kenny: "Well, I saw this ad in the Bible that said Christians are supposed to convert atheists, so I brought the potion --"
Me: "No thanks!"
Kenny: "Okay."
Me: "Thanks for caring enough to try."

No comment...

===

A few nights ago, I dreamt that I was in the future (or at least a really high-tech city), in a class at a college or something. Apparently, I had a top-of-the-line computer, but I couldn't do any of the work because I couldn't figure out how to connect to the internet using the built-in laser port. I decided I'd just use a regular cable. We had a break, and I went into the hallway to talk to the instructor.

Me: "Is there a campus store or something?"
Instructor: "Yeah. It's on the other side of campus."
Me: "Can I buy a network cable there?"
Instructor: "Yeah, but you have to unlock the store online before you can go there."

...

Last night i had a dream, where i was in a bus and said to the busdriver who was reading this book holding it above his head

Me: Dude, your keys are crapping the pavement
Busdriver: Hu, ye, ok sure

There were no keys on the pavement nor was there any crap

Originally Posted by Asymptote

Me: "Is there a campus store or something?"
Instructor: "Yeah. It's on the other side of campus."
Me: "Can I buy a network cable there?"
Instructor: "Yeah, but you have to unlock the store online before you can go there."

...

That's a good one.

I just remembered!
me: why you don't want to have sex?
girlfriend: I'm worried because lucid dreamers end their life committing suicide

Last night I had a dream in which I was trapped inside a house with a murderer and a bunch of other people. Each day we spent there, the murderer would kill one person. There were three other people in the same room as me and as soon as I had explained to my father how things work, (silly him, he thought the murderer would only kill one person a week =p) a guy standing next to me said:

"Since you're going to die soon, it is important to calculate how much schoolwork you have left to do"

Not perhaps the funniest thing ever, but it did make me chuckle a bit afterwards.

I had a fun dream in the morning. I was somewhere in a big and fancy hotel and I was wandering around in the largest room there. Then some kind of maid came and said :" Sir, I am sorry but you'll have to wake up since this hotel doesn't have bathroom and we don't want you to urinate on our expensive furniture. "

Then I woke up and I noticed I had to go to the bathroom asap.

Originally Posted by Unelias

I had a fun dream in the morning. I was somewhere in a big and fancy hotel and I was wandering around in the largest room there. Then some kind of maid came and said :" Sir, I am sorry but you'll have to wake up since this hotel doesn't have bathroom and we don't want you to urinate on our expensive furniture. "

Then I woke up and I noticed I had to go to the bathroom asap.

ROFL That's awesome lol

Very Inappropriate Just A Heads Up.

While I was tapping a DC two of my friends came into the room and said.
Friend 1: "Dude no fair man"
Friend 2: "Yeah seriously two in the hole one in mouth"
Friend 1: "Yeah you down?"
Me: "No I'm busy"

Originally Posted by Brandon Heat

Very Inappropriate Just A Heads Up.

While I was tapping a DC two of my friends came into the room and said.
Friend 1: "Dude no fair man"
Friend 2: "Yeah seriously two in the hole one in mouth"
Friend 1: "Yeah you down?"
Me: "No I'm busy"

I love you Brandon, lol .

During a non lucid
My friend comes up to me one day at school. Let's call him J.
J: Do you know what I did with the ( unintelligible )?
me: no

We walk down the hallway for a while.
Teacher: J! Where did you put the ( unintelligible )
J: Miami! Because I never had it!

I never did find out what the ( unintelligible ) was.

There were some hairy monkey people outside and someone said they were “what Knees evolved into over 100 years”. Knees is a guy we know.

Something had scared someone and they were on their way to the toilet and they said "I shat myself" and I said "waste of a trip then".

"Enjoy your dragon!" - an old man. 0.o

This was a non-lucid dream, obviously since I hadn't had one yet. I was the only employee in a chinese? restaurant and I ws with the manager, an old chinese woman. We were ceiling only one item. I think a noodle soup. And then she said that we could go one step higher so we could add one more item. She opened a drawer in which I could see many flavours. She took one and said it would be the flavour she would use. (I think was chocolate) So then I replied that we should maybe let the choice to the clients and that's when she yelled at me:

"You really have to take choices in life! You can't just ask other poeple".

It's not really funny, but its the only dialogue I remember and the reason for that is maybe because I do need to have my OWN opinions... On flavours at least

Originally Posted by Unelias

I had a fun dream in the morning. I was somewhere in a big and fancy hotel and I was wandering around in the largest room there. Then some kind of maid came and said :" Sir, I am sorry but you'll have to wake up since this hotel doesn't have bathroom and we don't want you to urinate on our expensive furniture. "

Then I woke up and I noticed I had to go to the bathroom asap.

rofl. Your sub was helping you out ;]

Two different dreams, taken straight from my DJ

I was in a car, and my mother was handing out presents, mine was a grenade... Which would actually be kinda cool, except she pulled the pin out before giving it to me. I held the lever down, so it didn't explode, but eventually my hand slipped. I yelled, "Shit!" and tossed it out the car window. We drove forward, and started passing blame on each other,
"Why'd you throw it out the window?! Someone could get hurt!"
"I had to do something! It would have blown up the car!"
"It was a present! I thought you'd be responsible!"
"What is this, Looney Tunes? You took the pin out and handed it to me!"


************

Next one was short, but fun.
I was an agent... Like Bond. I was in a nice car, and outside of a building I needed to get into, there was someone in the passenger seat, they said, "Well, how are we getting in?" I said in a cool calm tone, "I know at least one way." And I pressed hard on the gas, we blew right through the front doors, and toppled over as we crashed our way through the building. When we stopped, the passenger said, "What the f-*wake up.*

In a non-LD: I said something to a DC that had ONE large word in it. He then repeats what I said in a "fancy" British accent, obviously mocking me.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream, I was running around in this building with this Library book, for some reason, this book was powerful or something, everyone wanted this book, so I was running around, and people were chasing me, like a mob of 100 people were after me, so while running around, there were these signs on the walls that said something different on each one. These signs were supposed to trick me from finding the one sign that is important, well somehow I found the one that is important and this is what it was: It had a picture of George W. Bush Jr. and it said at the bottom "Recollection: Well, quite frankly I'm just tired of running".

It's not really a DC, and it's not really funny, but I was so dumbfounded by this that I woke up laughing.

I had a dream (not lucid i guess). It was really vivid, detailed and long. At a part of it I was in a public toilet washing my hands. A guy in a suit caught another guy in the bathroom then he was questioning him right next to me. He stopped and took a playing card out of his pocket. The card had half of a King upside and half of Jack downside. He showed it to me and asked "Which one is better do you think?". I didn't want to get involved so didn't say anything. Then he said "Decide who you side with". LMAO he was all serious and confident.

In my dream, I met a short guy. His appearance was like a biker. He wore a black jacket and a black trouser. He has a Elvis-like blond hair. He said to me, "Hey, even if Arnold Shwachnegger is in the movie, it doesn't mean that Elvis can't be in the movie, too." I instantly got lucidity after that.

My Mom (non-lucid): "Well, we're already in San Fransisco, why not a side trip to Nevada?"

(today) I was in a scissor fight with this DC in a nonlucid. Our open scissors interlocked and he said

"we are now in binary"