Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

i'm in my garden, with da familiy, and suddenly, some car comes driving in our garden (?)
then some girl gets out, and her parent come walking, along the same path as the car drove (so the car was already there, noone was driving, girl gets out, THEN parents arrive)
then a HUGE sandstorm blasts our house, we go inside, where it's safe... and we go to my room, so... 2 families are standing by the window looking outside, where the entire area is being blown away by a huge brown desert sandstorm, then some leeves from a tree come flying by...


girl: points : "look! butterfly"




also:

i dreamt once i was in my pyjamas, sitting in front of our Television, making a report of the romans (?) then my sisters runs in, yelling to me and my dad (who only wears underwear, he just came out of the shower) "look that woman has a stomach-enlargement!!!..."
so... we go outside, to some ambulance with a monitor in it, a huge group of people are standing in front of it... on a bed is a lady (which is fat)
she begins to scream and scream, her belly becomes much bigger, with a sound of rubbing your hands on a dry balloon...
this happens 3 times, then an enormous flow of blood flows from the wound, her belly becomes smaller, and the doctors remove a piece of skin from her belly


later, in an interviewlike thing, she says: "its great for when you're angry..."

"Winking at crows in the dark won't scare them."

My dream guide is a bit on the cryptic side, but you can't fault his logic.

We had a lucid task a few months back where we were supposed to ask a DC "Who am I?" and I dreamt I was getting slapped around by Professor Snape from Harry Potter. I became lucid and asked him "Who am I?" and he said "You must learn to think outside the box." Then the beatings commenced.

I had to wake myself up from that one

Originally posted by OpheliaBlue
I dreamt I was getting slapped around by Professor Snape from Harry Potter. I became lucid and asked him "Who am I?" and he said "You must learn to think outside the box." Then the beatings commenced.

Ha ha - I love Harry Potter.

When a blind man died someone mentioned that it was a Portuguese Chipmunk that killed him.

"some people shit in the shower"

Arnold Schwarzennegger, before shooting me with a shotgun: "I'll show you reverse culture you bastard!"

*Pointing to a guy flying around*: "Man, he's lucky to be having a lucid dream..."

"Never build a wall on seaweed..." Good advice too, a guy who did got eaten by a giant shark shortly after...

Prolly:

"That hair spray was manufactured by the leader of the libertarian party himself!"
"Don't go in that cell. Marquis dosen't like visitors."

Or the time I told my cat in a dream that he was going to be crowned King Leopold. I have many more. They're all just goddamn strange.

My Mum, just as I went lucid and started to levitate:

"But Chris (my brother) is waiting for you at the lamington factory!"

I had to ask my Dad in the dream to tell her to shut up so I could concentrate on flying.

A couple of weird ones I heard about:

1)"Do you like apples? Some of my best friends are apples.."


2)Q:" Who shot President Kennedy?"

A: "It was a teenager."

Just some I remember:

Non-descript friend "I used to have a Volvo, but it crashed because I filled the engine up with chocolate". He then gets a miniscule < 2cm engine out of his pocket, with a brown stain on it. "Look, there!" I was lucid at the time so I quite rigtfully took the piss out of him and laughed till I cried.

Audiotext has been hard on me.

I know how you actors love your suitbags.

I was non-lucid dreaming that I was at work. My brother was there and there were two guys sat at computers in the office, overheard me and my brother talking:

Me: "Did I tell you about that sick Christian group that I seen on the web?"
My bro: "No, what's that?"
Me: "They send kids there if they are gay or stupid things like that."
Guy 1: "That sounds about right to me."
*Me and my brother just look at him funny.
Guy 1: "The army is good enough for me."
Guy 2: "Oh, so you would date robots then?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, I would date robots."

--

Another one:

My dad: "I'm disappointed with this universe... I expected some better music."

--

And one more:

Random Guy: "This might sound really weird, but do you know what I think is really sexy?"
Me: "What?"
Random Guy: "When you look at the trees and how they keep going off into infinity."

me"dude im so dreaming right now and i could make you fly away if i wanted to"

dc's response".......dumbass"


*dream character floats a few inches off the ground and i throw him back and forth in teh air"

dc"aww skeet skeet skeet"


yeaa...i was like wtf in my dream too..weird

MartinB, I find that to be HILARIOUS!

I once had a dream my friend was flying a plane, a friend shouted to him "DUDE! You cant fly things!!"
To which he replied "UH HUH! I threw some pottery once, it flew!"

chuckle chuckle.

Originally posted by MartinB
My dad: "I'm disappointed with this universe... I expected some better music."

Oh man, that one's priceless!

This should be a sticky

This post has inspired me to talk to my DC's before I fuck them

I agree...sticky is a good idea! It is true...DC's come up with some cryptic doosies...

A few of mine...


Me: "Have you seen my car? I think someone stole it!"
DC: " I have tasted the clouds...and they taste cold."

DC to me: "Stay away from the slough gloves! They have bad manners!"

Unseen DC to 'the world' (who sounded strangely like a radio or TV announcer):

"What would happen to this man, if he gave a jaw-grip to a car full of skulls?" (This one was so bizzare, I became instantly conscious! Didn't want to see the car full of skulls, I guess...)

C

I was downtown and asked my friend Kurt
"Am I in a dream?"
His response:
"How the hell should I know, i'm a dream character!"

Originally posted by Morca
I was downtown and asked my friend Kurt
"Am I in a dream?"
His response:
"How the hell should I know, i'm a dream character!"

reminds me of something:

me: running ahead of some werewolves in some bookstore..
police standing somewhere
me: am i dreaming?
policeman: well i don't know, its your dream...


didn't became lucid

Some lady was getting out of a mini van near a community pool, I become lucid and ask her if she is dreaming too. She starts to give me a very scary look like Im crazy or something and that I need some help. Then she says something to the effect of "What's wrong with you?"

Originally posted by Morca
I was downtown and asked my friend Kurt
"Am I in a dream?"
His response:
"How the hell should I know, i'm a dream character!"

Lol

this thread should definitely be a sticky...i like martinb's best...

in alot of these non-lucids i'm the DC that says something wierd/dumb.

#0-i am frantic, and run into 'my' dorm room, and into the bathroom. then i try to get back out, but someone is turning the knob as i do. i panic and smash through the door. my roomie jumps back startled and says

"oh, i'm sorry...i deserve to be punished.."
i lose it and yell "no!! nobody deserves to be punished..don't say that!"
i try to clear a bunch of clothes off the bed and sit down, but cannot manage it
"i am so...FUCKED." i say dramatically and confused.
'what have you done", she asks sympathetically
"i tried the physics exercise" i say weakly.
"did it work?"
"not really...although it made me feel like fishes.." i say.

(i really DID feel like 'fishes" in the dream. i can still remember it vividly. indescribably wierd..

# 1-with two people. my friend tells me his mom died.
"really, how? " i ask
"well, i was buying cough syrup for my kid..y'know, enough to last like half a lifetime..."
other person interupts "cough drops are a neccessity...on a regular basis"

there is silence

#3-i am in a building, and a guy is talking over the loudspeaker.

"where i grew up, a hot bath was a luxury...its amazing how quick you can wash when water is splashed over you"
"no pouring water over your legs, that's fer sure...'

# 4- i almost miss my flight, and am last one on the plane. as i walk in a guy says irritatingly

"are you asher?"
"yes"
*he whispers a snide remark to his friends"
"hey, there was a mix-up, its not my fault" i say
"don't argue with me! i'm a professional.."
"oh really? did you major in planes" i say, feeling witty
"yes" he says, softening
"well then brother, i concede defeat" i say and smile as i sit down.

the guy next to me asks "are you really jewish?"
"no".

#5- in the backyard with my sister. i say "if it were a different time of year, i would be grazing.."

#3- the phone rings in the kitchen. i answer it "hello, i am in the wash".


# 5- i am hanging from a plane, but my grip slips and i fall through a tree on my way to a lake underneath. i manage to grab a branch on my way down. as i am falling a soft, documentary type voice narrates "the branch followed him into the water...cushioning his fall"

while I was having sex with a DC, I tried to maintain lucidity by having a conversation with him during the sexing, to which he replied

"Will you please shut up?"

This what happened to me many years ago:

"You will learn what love is." - spoken by a character that looks like a mix between the Kraken in Rise of the Titans and the main bad dude in Kull. Fish head dude. Very scary. His words have stuck with me over 20 years.