Sensory awareness--visualization:
I started practicing sensory awareness exercises and first saw a lot of what I would say is closest to green. I noticed that colors were not distinct in the way that I expect colors that I see with my physical eyes to be. I watched the visuals which were hazy, somewhat "colorless" (yet seeming distinctly more like some colors than others) and shapeless but somehow having transitory form. I paid attention to the separate and yet connected experience of seeing with my eyes and seeing with my imagination. My imagination could have a subtle influence on the visuals produced in my sight vision. I noticed a difference in the perception of space between that which seemed to be internal imagination and that which seemed to be external. My eyes, open in complete darkness, almost seemed like a two demensional screen (a green screen) that my imagination and focus could simultaniously project onto and observe. From the infinite possiblity of forms and colors, something distinct was observed. I noticed how when I see light I rely more on observation rather than imagination to create what I sense to be a three-demensional spacial reality. Imagination doesn't seem to exist in space in the same way.
I had a lucid dream two nights ago that helped me with being able to merge my usually separate inward and outward vision. I dreamt that I was holding my cupped hands together and watching as a bubble formed in them. Within the bubble was an entire ecosystem. I noticed how distinct and alive the plants and animals were, knowing that I was dreaming. In the center of the plantlife was a deep, round pond. I watched water droplets form in the air and fall one by one into the pond, sensing each one fully and deeply.
I did not consciously will myself to see a pond or the water droplets, but somehow my focus and projection of light and life into it made me feel like a co-creator of sorts.
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