Thread: LolaTheLoner's Yoga Headache

On the day I began these lessons, I attempted the first meditation in the quiet office of the IT department where I work. It was towards the end of the day, so everyone had settled down and I had some free time on my hands. I listened carefully to each minute noise: the sound of the clock ticking, my co-worker typing away nearby, the faint sounds of computers whirring around us. The clock and the computers are something I generally never hear unless I pay attention. I'm not even sure I ever knew that that particular clock actually emitted an audible ticking noise. It was storming outside, so every few minutes I could hear the slight rumble of thunder and the windows rattling with the onslaught of rain.

On the way home, I decided that driving time would be perfect to continue my meditation. There would be a lot more sounds to focus on. The sound of rain while driving is much less subtle than in an office building. I also had my music up fairly loud, attempting to listen to the lyrics and the various instrumental layers beneath, while also listening for the slight whirring of the car that was almost entirely drowned out by the music. Every few seconds, the squeak of the windshield wipers across the window would catch my attention (although the windshield wipers were the easiest to forget about).

Yesterday while at the river, I pretty much just practiced the first meditation again. Nothing much to write about from that experience without getting repetitive.

Today I decided to move on to Level Two. I went outside to sit on the large pontoon boat that's parked outside my mom's house. Inside the house is almost COMPLETELY silent aside from the sounds that I make and the air conditioner. I had no problem locating all the different sounds around me: a dove to my left that coo'd at irregular intervals, more stable birdsong in the trees behind me, the slight birring of insects, the wind, a lawnmower somewhere down the street. My problem was maintaining focus for more than five seconds. It was like I had ADD, my focus would be interrupted by thoughts of what I was going to write about, what I was going to dream about--- I was even bombarded by thoughts that I needed to focus more. I would dwell on the fact that I wasn't focusing so intently that it was actually stopping me from focusing. (I've noticed that I have this problem in certain classes, as well.) While I WAS able to focus, I could hold most of the sounds in my awareness without much problem. But it was for such short intervals that it almost didn't matter. I also noticed that when some of the sounds were on silent, such as the dove, I held a sort of mental place-marker in that general direction.

After a what seemed like 15 minutes or so, I gave up on the meditation and decided to read. As I did, I got an idea. If the thinking part of my brain was focused on reading, perhaps the peripheral part could hold the sounds. It made for some VERY slow reading, but now I could hold the sounds in my awareness for an even greater amount of time.

During this, I made an even more important discovery. The absolute quietest layer of sound was the insect noises. If I focused on hearing this above all, then the other, louder sounds would naturally catch my attention and remain within my awareness without really trying. All I had to focus on now was reading and hearing the insects. I can't say that I could get lost in the story quite as much as I normally like to be without all the focusing, but it's a really good start!

I haven't posted in a while because I'm trying to become more proficient with maintaining level 3 during daily life before moving on to the next lesson. I set out to practice this and forget all about it within moments of starting. I guess I am quite easily distracted. But I am determined to teach myself how to maintain focus, because it seems to be a skill like any other that I just have to keep working with to master.

Work on this stuff over the rest of your life, it is not a race. Never treat it like a duty. The lessons themselves help build focus before too long.