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    Thread: Post a Lucid Dream Joke

    1. #1
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      Post a Lucid Dream Joke

      Here's one I've just made up

      Centipedes would make lousy Lucid Dreamers By the time they've counted their legs, they'd be back in Delta sleep...

      ...well I said it was original...I never said it was good...


      groansmileyf.gif
      If the World didn't suck we'd all fall off.

      We are going through the eye of the needle; make sure you leave what you don't need behind. (Terence Mckenna 1946-2000)

    2. #2
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      A Buddhist novitiate at a monastery had trouble becoming lucid
      His teacher told him he would have to study until he achieved lucidity and he could only speak or ask one question every 12 years.
      After trying unsuccessfully for 12 long years, the day came when he was allowed to speak.
      He said "The bed is too hard."
      He persevered another 12 years, then got his chance to speak again.
      He said. "The room is too light."
      Twelve more years of hard work later and he got to speak again.
      He'd had enough...after 36 years of practice he said "I quit!"
      His teacher quickly answered "Good," he said. "All you've been doing anyway is complaining."

      praying.gif
      LouaiB likes this.
      If the World didn't suck we'd all fall off.

      We are going through the eye of the needle; make sure you leave what you don't need behind. (Terence Mckenna 1946-2000)

    3. #3
      The First Lightbender Achievements:
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      Three salesmen are travelling together when their car breaks down. They walk to the nearest town and go into the bar. Over a couple of rounds of drinks, they explain their situation to the bartender who tells them, "I have a bed in the back room. It's just one bed, but it should be big enough for all three of you to stay for tonight."

      The three salesmen agree and continue drinking to make it less awkward. At closing time, the bartender kicks all the other customers out and shows the salesmen to the room where the bed is. The three of them immediately pass out for the night.

      The next morning, the man who slept on the left side of the bed says, "Man, I had this incredible lucid dream in which I was getting jerked off all night by a supermodel!"

      The man who slept on the right side of the bed says, "Me too, but it was my hot neighbor!"

      The man who slept in the middle says, "Lucky bastards, I just had a dream that I was skiing!"
      Last edited by IAmCoder; 09-16-2013 at 07:45 PM.
      LouaiB, Jacen, Zoth and 3 others like this.

    4. #4
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      A Buddhist novitiate at a monastery had trouble becoming lucid
      His teacher told him he would have to study until he achieved lucidity and he could only speak or ask one question every 12 years.
      After trying unsuccessfully for 12 long years, the day came when he was allowed to speak.
      He said "The bed is too hard."
      He persevered another 12 years, then got his chance to speak again.
      He said. "The room is too light."
      Twelve more years of hard work later and he got to speak again.
      He'd had enough...after 36 years of practice he said "I quit!"
      His teacher quickly answered "Good," he said. "All you've been doing anyway is complaining."

      praying.gif
      LouaiB likes this.
      If the World didn't suck we'd all fall off.

      We are going through the eye of the needle; make sure you leave what you don't need behind. (Terence Mckenna 1946-2000)

    5. #5
      Fragmented Subconscious DreamscapeGoat's Avatar
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      Guy wakes up, looking extremely tired, moving very sluggishly.

      Another guy asks, "Sleep okay?"

      The guy says, "Yeah, I just had a WILD night."

      DILD - 42 | WILD - 14 | OBE - 0 | AP - 0

    6. #6
      Please, call me Louai <span class='glow_008000'>LouaiB</span>'s Avatar
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      Two old drunk men where arguing about who was older.
      The first one said:"I'm so old, I was alive when rainbows where black and white".
      The second one said:"oh yeah!? I was alive when the latest NovaDreamer came out!"
      LukeSid likes this.
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

    7. #7
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      I got these from the internet

      I had a recurring dream once..

      Q: What is grosser than gross?
      A: Having a dream about chocolate pudding and then waking up with a
      spoon in your butt.

      Wife: I dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You would not spoil that dream, would you, Dear?
      Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $500.00

      "Doctor, I really need your help", I said. "Every night for the past two weeks I'm dreaming about some rats playing football."
      "Here, take these pills tonight before you go to bed and you will be fine."
      "But can I take them starting tomorrow?"
      "Why?"
      "Because tonight they play the final."
      LouaiB and LukeSid like this.

    8. #8
      Consciousness in the Void Universal Mind's Avatar
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      A lucid dreamer walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks, "How are you paying?" The lucid dreamers says, "Do you take reality checks?"

      A lucid dreamer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "What if and the lizard we are the sky." That was a signal to the lucid dreamer that he should try to fly, which it turned out he could do, so he made his own beer appear out of nowhere and paid for nothing.
      LukeSid, LouaiB, Ginsan and 1 others like this.
      Quote Originally Posted by really View Post
      God cannot destroy himself because He is Omnipotent.


    9. #9
      Please, call me Louai <span class='glow_008000'>LouaiB</span>'s Avatar
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      A lucid dreamer in a LD asks his dream "how much is 1+1?". The dream answers by summoning 2 cute girls. The LDer says "wrong, the answer is...my mom!" (Go regular show!)
      LukeSid likes this.
      I fill my heart with fire, with passion, passion for what makes me nostalgic. A unique perspective fuels my fire, makes me discover new passions, more nostalgia. I love it.

      "People tell dreamers to reality check and realize this is the real world and not one of fantasies, but little do they know that for us Lucid Dreamers, it all starts when the RC fails"
      Add me as a friend!!!

    10. #10
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      "In order to learn to lucid dream, you should work on reaching sleep paralysis."





      What? Not that kind of joke?
      arcticfennec likes this.

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