Thread: Post a Lucid Dream Joke

A Buddhist novitiate at a monastery had trouble becoming lucid
His teacher told him he would have to study until he achieved lucidity and he could only speak or ask one question every 12 years.
After trying unsuccessfully for 12 long years, the day came when he was allowed to speak.
He said "The bed is too hard."
He persevered another 12 years, then got his chance to speak again.
He said. "The room is too light."
Twelve more years of hard work later and he got to speak again.
He'd had enough...after 36 years of practice he said "I quit!"
His teacher quickly answered "Good," he said. "All you've been doing anyway is complaining."

praying.gif

Three salesmen are travelling together when their car breaks down. They walk to the nearest town and go into the bar. Over a couple of rounds of drinks, they explain their situation to the bartender who tells them, "I have a bed in the back room. It's just one bed, but it should be big enough for all three of you to stay for tonight."

The three salesmen agree and continue drinking to make it less awkward. At closing time, the bartender kicks all the other customers out and shows the salesmen to the room where the bed is. The three of them immediately pass out for the night.

The next morning, the man who slept on the left side of the bed says, "Man, I had this incredible lucid dream in which I was getting jerked off all night by a supermodel!"

The man who slept on the right side of the bed says, "Me too, but it was my hot neighbor!"

The man who slept in the middle says, "Lucky bastards, I just had a dream that I was skiing!"

A Buddhist novitiate at a monastery had trouble becoming lucid
His teacher told him he would have to study until he achieved lucidity and he could only speak or ask one question every 12 years.
After trying unsuccessfully for 12 long years, the day came when he was allowed to speak.
He said "The bed is too hard."
He persevered another 12 years, then got his chance to speak again.
He said. "The room is too light."
Twelve more years of hard work later and he got to speak again.
He'd had enough...after 36 years of practice he said "I quit!"
His teacher quickly answered "Good," he said. "All you've been doing anyway is complaining."

praying.gif

Guy wakes up, looking extremely tired, moving very sluggishly.

Another guy asks, "Sleep okay?"

The guy says, "Yeah, I just had a WILD night."

Two old drunk men where arguing about who was older.
The first one said:"I'm so old, I was alive when rainbows where black and white".
The second one said:"oh yeah!? I was alive when the latest NovaDreamer came out!"

I got these from the internet

I had a recurring dream once..

Q: What is grosser than gross?
A: Having a dream about chocolate pudding and then waking up with a
spoon in your butt.

Wife: I dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You would not spoil that dream, would you, Dear?
Husband: Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $500.00

"Doctor, I really need your help", I said. "Every night for the past two weeks I'm dreaming about some rats playing football."
"Here, take these pills tonight before you go to bed and you will be fine."
"But can I take them starting tomorrow?"
"Why?"
"Because tonight they play the final."

A lucid dreamer walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks, "How are you paying?" The lucid dreamers says, "Do you take reality checks?"

A lucid dreamer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "What if and the lizard we are the sky." That was a signal to the lucid dreamer that he should try to fly, which it turned out he could do, so he made his own beer appear out of nowhere and paid for nothing.

A lucid dreamer in a LD asks his dream "how much is 1+1?". The dream answers by summoning 2 cute girls. The LDer says "wrong, the answer is...my mom!" (Go regular show!)

"In order to learn to lucid dream, you should work on reaching sleep paralysis."





What? Not that kind of joke?