Is there a feminist-sexist binary?

I've noticed that it's difficult to speak about gender differences or similarities at all without being labeled either sexist or feminist. By feminist, I mean the negative kind. Those man-hating women who talk about equality but really want female superiority.

If one is bold enough to even suggest that there are mental differences between men and women, he/she is readily labeled as sexist. If someone suggests that men and women are mentally very similar, he/she is considered to be feminist. Of course, it's always easier for a female to get away with the 'sexist' side and for a male to get away with the 'feminist' side.

I find people are more likely to agree with the feminist, but in a sheepish way, because it's politically correct, even when I get the feeling they don't really agree, and are just afraid of disagreeing and appearing sexist.

I think the solution to all of this might just be to think logically about all of it. Don't generalize, question all assumptions and seek the truth.

A personal situation (you don't have to read this, this gets a bit off-topic and I thought about starting a new thread but... don't want to seem feminist by starting so many sexism-related threads):
I'm in computer sciences at college, and my classes are usually about 30:4 or so male:female. I'm usually one of the best in the class, and I feel like the teacher I keep getting, who happens to be female, latches on to that. I don't know whether it's just in my mind or not, but I feel like she pays special attention to me because I'm female. I can't get rid of the suspicion that most of the males in the class judge me to be some angry man-hating feminist, and I fear that I'm getting a better mark in the class than I would be getting if I were male. I got a scholarship last semester, and am paranoid (or do I have reason to be suspicious?) that there were others more deserving and part of the reason I got it was because I'm female. I don't doubt I'm good at it, I just think there are probably others who are equally good or a bit better. I don't want special attention paid to me because I'm female, and want to have actually earned whatever I achieve.

I suppose I've gone off-track from the original topic. I guess I want to know whether I'm being paranoid or have reason to think people are judging me negatively. How would you judge a female in the class? Where I live, there are a lot of Asian people, and that's another thing. I don't think I've seen another Caucasian female in one of my CS classes, and about half of the males are Asian too, so that's another attention-drawer. I used to raise my hand a lot in class, so it was obvious I knew what I was talking about, but have stopped now.

I suppose this situation relates to the original post in this way: As far as I'm concerned, I'm going into computer programming because I'm good at it and enjoy it. My reasons have nothing to do with my gender. But I feel like even being there makes other people assume that I'm some crazy feminist.

Worried about labels from people you don't care about?

http://images1.memegenerator.net/Car...ive-a-FUCK.jpg

It isn't a huge issue that actually 'worries' me emotionally. Possibly getting scholarships I don't deserve does. People in class judging me negatively doesn't bother me very much, only a bit. As for the bit, recognizing that I shouldn't care what people think of me doesn't make it magically happen. Maybe I just haven't mastered the necessarily mental discipline yet.

(No-Name, didn't I see you post pictures of yourself in the picture thread and you're male? Why do you always have female avatars? It confuses me.)

so it's just about the un-deserved praise? alright I suppose

talk to your professor if it bothers you. ask her if you really deserved special attention over others, or if she simply picks you because of your gender.

communication/understanding fixes pretty much everything.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

(No-Name, didn't I see you post pictures of yourself in the picture thread and you're male? Why do you always have female avatars? It confuses me.)

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because I want to.

It's possible to talk about the topic without the dichotomy you mention, but only when discussing it with sufficiently enlightened and mature people. In political circles, as with any controversial topic any deviation from the politically correct viewpoint is quickly met with "you're [sexist/racist/etc]".

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

I've noticed that it's difficult to speak about gender differences or similarities at all without being labeled either sexist or feminist. By feminist, I mean the negative kind. Those man-hating women who talk about equality but really want female superiority.

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I think it would become a lot clearer to just agree to call the type of feminist that you're talking sexist and forget the distinction.

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If one is bold enough to even suggest that there are mental differences between men and women, he/she is readily labeled as sexist. If someone suggests that men and women are mentally very similar, he/she is considered to be feminist. Of course, it's always easier for a female to get away with the 'sexist' side and for a male to get away with the 'feminist' side.

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That's just because people are probably either using ideological standards to judge a scientific statement or using pseudo-science to justify an ideological position.

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I think the solution to all of this might just be to think logically about all of it. Don't generalize, question all assumptions and seek the truth.

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I'd restrict don't generalize to "generalize well". But yeah. pretty much.

Well Dianeva, you said that you keep getting the teacher, as in you had her multiple times. If you are a good student and you had the teacher multiple times, she probably knows you, and maybe she does like you. It might not be that your are female, but that you are a good student. Teachers probably do treat people they know better than normal, to some degree or another. And the best way to get to know a teacher is to ask a lot of questions during class, talking to them after class, or take their classes multiple times. So even if you are getting some special attention, you can't assume its because of gender.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

Why do you always have female avatars?

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Why not? They're always cute. :P

Like Alric said, your teacher might pay special attention to you simply because she's familiar with you. I had a PE teacher who was like that, he kinda ignored the students who he didn't know well. xD As for the scholarship, you might just be over-analyzing things. You wouldn't have gotten it if you didn't show that you deserved it.

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Originally Posted by Dianeva

It isn't a huge issue that actually 'worries' me emotionally. Possibly getting scholarships I don't deserve does.

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The reason that an organization has for giving you a scholarship does not determine how much you deserve it.

^ Listen to this man. He's the digital version of Jesus.